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  1. #1

    Default Does this INTP like me?

    I have a question for male INTPs. I will just share the details so you can assess better. Thanks in advance 😊

    I am a female ENJT and is currently involved in an organization in our school. I am the head of our team. I have this male INTP member whom I like because he is not afraid to voice out dissent and his opinions are always logical. I seek his advice for every activity because he finds loopholes better than me. Thus, we can ensure that our activities will be successful.

    I started liking him some months ago because one time I was having problems he took charge of the team and did well. He is also one of the few people who is not intimidated by me and he is logical and not so emotional. Thus, I can discuss things with him without him being hurt or offended. I can be blunt and honest with him.
    I'd like to know if there is a chance that he likes me or is just tolerating me. He:
    1. Invited me twice to go to a concert of christian bands (along with his cousins/family members) which never manifested because of schedule conflicts
    2. Invited me to go their house to to play some music (I did not take this seriously coz I dont know if he's joking or what)
    3. Always helps me out, volunteers to go out with me to run errands/fix things
    4. Studies with me (and other friend he isnt close to)
    5. Eats with me
    6. Talks to me everytime I chance upon him in school
    7. Shares stories like childhood stories, past lovelife, future plans
    8. Chats with me online for hours (i always chat first)
    9. Holds me always to show he's cold
    However,

    1. Never chats me online, ever
    2. I invited him to a museum and he declined saying he never goes out and I know it
    3. We ate once and he didnt walk me home even it's already late coz his house is nearby

    What do you think? Is there a chance he likes me or is he merely tolerating me?

  2. #2
    Curious Hermit of the Forest's Avatar
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    INTP female here. :hi:

    Hard to say really. Everything you mentioned sounds like friendship. I wouldn’t say he merely tolerates you if he’s volunteering to spend time doing errands. INTPs can be a bit miserly with their time, so this may mean you are a priority in his life, though still maybe just a friend. You could ask him, if you feel like you just have to know or explode. You said you can be blunt and honest with him, that’s really good.
    “All men by nature desire to know” ~ Aristotle

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say he "just tolerates" you either, he's actually investing a lot of face time with you in the friendship. This doesn't happen if the INTP is uncomfortable or finds you a lead anchor in some way. Any time he does something proactive versus reactive to include you, that's actually a sign of positive feeling. And when he breaks the invisible body wall between the two of you, that's another sign of positivity.

    I guess asking would be one way to just put everything on the table. Sometimes asking (and forcing someone to put a name to it) however, can result in a backpedal of sorts. So I don't comfortable recommending a particular action.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
    Likes Hermit of the Forest liked this post

  4. #4
    Member Sh*ttyKarmaKid's Avatar
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    At any rate, your types ARE completely compatible, don't even try too hard, just go for it.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wildmoon's Avatar
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    I think he definitely likes you, though I can't tell whether it's romantically or just platonically. There's a fair chance that it's romantic. Regarding the final three points - boys can be ambiguous like that when they're young. It usually indicates a lack of confidence.
    I would say that receiving any kind of invitation from an INTP is a huge deal.

  6. #6
    heel turn 2 Obfuscate's Avatar
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    he clearly really enjoys your company... i rarely ask anyone to do something unless i find them extremely pleasant... the odds of a second invitation if the first is blown off are quite small... a third invitation after the other two failed is almost unheard of... perhaps the invitation to his house could be seen as experimenting with the idea that the other venue was a problem for you... whatever his intentions are, it isn't a matter of tolerance... i would never volunteer to do things for someone i tolerated unless i pitied them, and i see no indication that this is pity... if you want any more invitations to go out, i would recommend bringing up regret as to failing to arrive for other invitations during a time that it is clear that it isn't a response to the situation you are currently in... if it can be interpeted as being motivated by social nicety, it can be easy to write off as less than meaningful...

    explain what you mean by "holding you always to show he is cold"... that and the invitations would be the strongest indications on your list that he has more than platonic interest... i see nothing here that is deterministic, so i would float the idea of trying something out as a hypothetical... if you don't provide some indication of interest (or even show up when he extends an invitation), the odds of him fully realizing you are interested are slim at best... i am very much in favor of the idea that people who like intp should just say so...
    "The only intelligent tactical response to life’s horror is to laugh defiantly at it.”
    ― søren kierkegaard

    “Most men are not wicked... They are sleep-walkers, not evil evildoers.”
    ―franz kafka

    “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
    ― kurt vonnegut

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