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Afraid of a Relationship

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
sadly traumas dont increase sadness with me, rather sarcasm
 

Snow as White

ƃuıǝǝs | seeing
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
471
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I had an INTJ friend that was petrified - almost phobic after a broken engagement. He wasn’t ready for years. In fact, as a friend I saw him date but there was sooo much underlying anger and transferring his prior feelings towards these new girls....frankly, I felt badly for them. It wasn’t their faults but he was very critical. He needed some years to ‘cool off’.

I would befriend, keep steady but don’t push too much. He may take you up (inferior Se) but not really be dealing with his full normal judging capability. Basically, he was a hot mess that looked in control but no, he wasn’t.

I encountered something similar with an INTJ friend who took a couple of years off of dating only to get a wedding invite from his ex-gf about two days into this experiment. He was completely unprepared for this announcement and it threw him for a major loop of hypercriticalness, the likes of seen the world has never seen. Some years passed and I was thrilled to discover that he had caught the eye of the queen of extraversion and charm from his work, who pursued him like gravity pursues rain. They just got married last summer and the joy he exudes in his photos... it just makes you smile to see.

So I say all of that to say: yes, it can happen, but it can and most likely will take awhile. It will most likely not involve something that you can control or do. The stars just have to align above, and the earth has to alight just right below.

No matter how amazing someone's potential may be - it isn't worth losing yourself on someone else's timetable.
 

StarFollowed

Stardust
Joined
Jul 12, 2016
Messages
79
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
This isn’t type-related.

I was afraid of relationships (ENFP), but I met my husband and I wasn’t afraid anymore.
 
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