Enfp dating a Estp and an Istp

[Abcdenfp]

Did you post hoping no one would respond?

No I just didn't expect a unicorn to.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

No I just didn't expect a unicorn to.

There are dozens of us!

 

[Abcdenfp]

There are dozens of us!

Lol dozens she says... hmmm mmm.

 

[EcK]

You know to cuddle and say what makes you happy and sad, what drives you daily, your fears.. your hopes .. to be vulnerable with another person and feel safe, share the inner dialogue with SOMEONE ELSE!
feeeeeeeeeeelinggggggggssssssss (watches istp head in other direction)

ew

Staying up late talking about feelings. What does that even mean?

I think it's one of these things where ENFPs talk about themselves and ask esoteric questions to whoever must suffer through it on the receiving end.

 

[EcK]

You know to cuddle and say what makes you happy and sad, what drives you daily, your fears.. your hopes .. to be vulnerable with another person and feel safe, share the inner dialogue with SOMEONE ELSE!
feeeeeeeeeeelinggggggggssssssss (watches istp head in other direction)

Okey but... once you're done saying "I'm fine" or "good" what else is there to say. *scratches head*

 

[Abcdenfp]

ew I think it's one of these things where ENFPs talk about themselves and ask esoteric questions to whoever must suffer through it on the receiving end.

For the record we are attempting to engage in an exchange that involves intimacy and the temporary loss of autonomy.. let's be one for a couple of hours, share ideas and reveal emotions... feel each other on a deeper level.
Also let the record show, I know all you hear is (blah blah , waaaah waaaah waaah)

 

[Abcdenfp]

Okey but... once you're done saying "I'm fine" or "good" what else is there to say. *scratches head*

This drives me crazy
" I'm fine"
"sure"
" oh okay"
"good"
"yep"
"noted"
"so noted"
" RME , SMH, ILU, TY, YW
there is no room for dialogue, it's like I've imputed information into a computer program and I'm getting the automated response. WTH

 

[EcK]

This drives me crazy
" I'm fine"
"sure"
" oh okay"
"good"
"yep"
"noted"
"so noted"
" RME , SMH, ILU, TY, YW
there is no room for dialogue, it's like I've imputed information into a computer program and I'm getting the automated response. WTH

Well I'm not ISTP but in my view "fine" is enough of an answer, because emotions rarely influence my actions so I don't really have any interest in going into great details regarding my own 99.9% of the time.

 

[EcK]

For the record we are attempting to engage in an exchange that involves intimacy and the temporary loss of autonomy.. let's be one for a couple of hours, share ideas and reveal emotions... feel each other on a deeper level.
Also let the record show, I know all you hear is (blah blah , waaaah waaaah waaah)

Temporary loss of autonomy... That makes me think of wheelchairs.
I also like the bit about feeling each other.

Jokes aside I can understand you just fine, it's just not how I operate, that's all.

 

[Abcdenfp]

Well I'm not ISTP but in my view "fine" is enough of an answer, because emotions rarely influence my actions so I don't really have any interest in going into great details regarding my own 99.9% of the time.

Your a ENTP so I gathered that. It's not enough for me this answer of "fine" and then close the figurative door. I don't want to intrude but I also want answers and I don't want to feel like I've infringed on your privacy. There is no close to the emotional circuit and I want that.

 

[EcK]

Your a ENTP so I gathered that. It's not enough for me this answer of "fine" and then close the figurative door. I don't want to intrude but I also want answers and I don't want to feel like I've infringed on your privacy. There is no close to the emotional circuit and I want that.

I sometimes amuse myself using words until people start using them in turn. I used to describe everything as 'pleasant' until my wife starting mirroring me. Now it's about figuring out if it's her being an INFJ or if my evil scheme has worked.

Anyywayy. Yeah I get it. Look at the end of the day there's plenty of individual variation. One difference which is generally more gender based would be that guys tend to look for solutions, so you might want to talk about something that happen and how you feel about it - males are generally likely to respond by offering a solution which can then in turn be misconstrued as 'being a bad listener' by the lady at the other side of the conversation.

On the bright side it means they care (or want an efficient way to get rid of you, or to get your allegiance and then exploit you in case they're psychopaths)

 

[Metamorphosis]

You know to cuddle and say what makes you happy and sad, what drives you daily, your fears.. your hopes .. to be vulnerable with another person and feel safe, share the inner dialogue with SOMEONE ELSE!
feeeeeeeeeeelinggggggggssssssss (watches istp head in other direction)

How people don't see any conflict between this idea and being in a casual/open relationship boggles my mind. "Be vulnerable and talk about all of your deep desires and emotions but know that I'm also talking to someone else the same way and this could potentially end abruptly at any time."

 

[EcK]

How people don't see any conflict between this idea and being in a casual/open relationship boggles my mind. "Be vulnerable and talk about all of your deep desires and emotions but know that I'm also talking to someone else the same way and this could potentially end abruptly at any time."

Also the Penis time share would be an issue for most guys I know.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

How people don't see any conflict between this idea and being in a casual/open relationship boggles my mind. "Be vulnerable and talk about all of your deep desires and emotions but know that I'm also talking to someone else the same way and this could potentially end abruptly at any time."

Because the ones who press for this openness aren't actually talking about their deepest, darkest desires either. They just want to hear yours to feel the drug hit of instant communal intimacy. (Infatuation). Which isn't real intimacy because that takes time. Have you met enfps??!

 

[Tilt]

How people don't see any conflict between this idea and being in a casual/open relationship boggles my mind. "Be vulnerable and talk about all of your deep desires and emotions but know that I'm also talking to someone else the same way and this could potentially end abruptly at any time."

I do it to varying degrees depending on how interested I am in someone, be it friendship or romantic. If the romance fades but the connection is strong enough, I will maintain contact.

This type of thing seems to work best with those who seem to value "quality time" the most in terms of the 5 Love Languages.

 

[Abcdenfp]

Also the Penis time share would be an issue for most guys I know.

This really irritates me, shared dick time? Because your not the only person dicking me down? But if I was a male who had two girlfriends I see casually you wouldn't be worried about the shared pussy time right?

 

[Abcdenfp]

Because the ones who press for this openness aren't actually talking about their deepest, darkest desires either. They just want to hear yours to feel the drug hit of instant communal intimacy. (Infatuation). Which isn't real intimacy because that takes time. Have you met enfps??!

Because the ones who press for this openness aren't actually talking about their deepest, darkest desires either. They just want to hear yours to feel the drug hit of instant communal intimacy. (Infatuation). Which isn't real intimacy because that takes time. Have you met enfps??!

while I will say that I can enjoy the feel of the infatuation process.
It's not what I'm searching for in those conversations. I am trying to see if you are able to be vulnerable with me so I can feel safe sharing my feelings with you. If you are unable to share then I tend to withdraw..watch you for a bit, wait and then prod , review your response and make decisions but it's kind of seamless.

 

[EcK]

This really irritates me, shared dick time? Because your not the only person dicking me down? But if I was a male who had two girlfriends I see casually you wouldn't be worried about the shared pussy time right?

Uh. No I never said that - also to answer your question I'm pretty monogamous myself so I wouldn't really engage in two or more relationships simultaneously - but that's irrelevant to the conversation. Just that most guys I know would not like the idea. Also related to evolutionary biology. Women tend not to like sharing the affection of their partner while men tend not to like to share their partners sexually. Lots of individual variation, and overall neither gender likes sharing either the affection or the sexual availability of their partner ofc. But it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.

Also technically it would have been pussy time share in your case and dick time share if it were two women sharing a man. Just wanted to see if you'd catch it.

If you know that both partners are fine with it then well. Fine. I don't really care, it's your life. However if they don't or you strongly suspect they wouldn't or/and you wouldn't like if the situations were reversed then I'd advise you to strengthen your sense of ethics - as ethics are central to healthy relationships.

If they re just fuck buddies and it s nothing serious then I don't see the point of this thread.

So which one is it?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

while I will say that I can enjoy the feel of the infatuation process.
It's not what I'm searching for in those conversations. I am trying to see if you are able to be vulnerable with me so I can feel safe sharing my feelings with you. If you are unable to share then I tend to withdraw..watch you for a bit, wait and then prod , review your response and make decisions but it's kind of seamless.

Are you happy casually dating him? If so, keep at it but I wouldn't expect a show of vulnerability too soon that's all. I don't know the exact nature of your relationship, but if you're seeing others (he may be too)...like, I would never express a whole lot of emotional sentiment toward that person, even if I felt it. Just think about that....what purpose would that go toward?

 

[Abcdenfp]

Uh. No I never said that - also to answer your question I'm pretty monogamous myself so I wouldn't really engage in two or more relationships simultaneously - but that's irrelevant to the conversation. Just that most guys I know would not like the idea. Also related to evolutionary biology. Women tend not to like sharing the affection of their partner while men tend not to like to share their partners sexually. Lots of individual variation, and overall neither gender likes sharing either the affection or the sexual availability of their partner ofc. But it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Also technically it would have been pussy time share in your case and dick time share if it were two women sharing a man. Just wanted to see if you'd catch it. If you know that both partners are fine with it then well. Fine. I don't really care, it's your life. However if they don't or you strongly suspect they wouldn't or/and you wouldn't like if the situations were reversed then I'd advise you to strengthen your sense of ethics - as ethics are central to healthy relationships. If they re just fuck buddies and it s nothing serious then I don't see the point of this thread. So which one is it?

Actually the original purpose of this thread was to highlight the difference between the ESTP and the ISTP that I am with their consent and understanding dating both.

it was not to discuss the ethics of dating two men casually. Which from your comments I am getting the feeling you think it's unethical.