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  1. #21
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017


    Quote Originally Posted by Bee1991 View Post
    Hi. I'm not sure where to post this thread but I just have a quick something to ask...

    I am an INFP female and I really like this ISTJ male. We have known each other for 6 months.

    I know from reading other other posts on ISTJ's that they aren't the best at written communication. I struggle to find out if he has feelings for me but I'm not the most confident person so I don't want to just ask him.

    I'm going to visit the city he lives in this weekend and I messaged him a while back asking if he wanted to meet up. He replied saying he should be free and for me to let him know which day would be best for me. I replied saying the day. I haven't had a response and it's been a few weeks. I didn't ask him a specific question but I feel i can't ask him because I don't want to seem like I'm nagging him. Does he just presume we are meeting and hasn't thought to double check with me?!
    Can anyone give me some advice. Sorry if this seems like a dumb question.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    I'm an ISTJ female but if I were him, after you told me what day you're going to come I'll plan ahead what I would do with you for the whole day and expect you to really come that day, preferably at a specific time point. I think he'd really appreciate if you confirm the plan again by telling him more details, the more the better -- you're going to arrive in what station/airport, what time, the number of your aircrafts, the color of the shirt you're going to wear to make him recognize you easier at the crowded airport, etc. If you have any idea on what you want to do or see/experience in his specific city (go to a specific museum, eat a specific traditional foods in that city) it's best if you tell him in advance.

  2. #22
    Mastermind Fieldmarshal Sacrophagus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2017


    I recognize myself in his behavior.
    I usually reply "Perfect/We've got a plan... Etc, to confirm our scheduled event, but if someone had a suggestion and I didn't reply, it usually means I'm in.
    It doesn't hurt to send him a message as in " Hey, what do you think if we booked reservations for that X restaurant?", you give him space to agree or to suggest otherwise in a light manner, instead of "Are you still in?", which might sound pushy and annoying.

    Overall, a word of definitive confirmation is what I personally go for. I know an ENFP woman who would send me " I'm coming to see you today xoxoxo", and sure enough, she doesn't wait for my blessings, hence why she ends up visiting an empty house, while I'm at the other side of the planet.

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