How to show an ENFJ I like her

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

London Short Film Festival. Do you act? Why do you prefer theatre, the interaction with the audience?

If you're interested in symbolism how do you feel about David Lynch and Kubrick.

Wouahou ! Cannes Festival just ended up anyway. I'm acting since some few years now in a theatre band (I DON'T GET PAID FOR IT, IT's ONE OF MY HOBBIES)

I'm planning to move from the one I'm in (nobody knows for now) because some things are turning wrong. I must think over that problem...


Short movies were ok when I was younger, to discover what it is, to find harmony between the image I sent to the audience and my true self.

It became to me very boring as I'm not naturally patient. I don't like all those technical stuffs one must always wait for.

And of course you should replay the scene when required, on demand as soon as there is a mess, lack of focus, or when a detail was fucked up.


Today I don't give a damn anymore, I just wanna have playful actors/Actresses with me, who enjoy what they do, only for the sake of pleasure, interesting texts,

a director that motivates me, so that I can improve and overpass my limits. The goal is to discover a bit more on myself thanks to a good work and a good team.

Giving a show is finally sharing fun, joy, and playing the fool in a serious world full of restrictions and pain (to make it short)

 

[human101]

Wouahou ! Cannes Festival just ended up anyway. I'm acting since some few years now in a theatre band (I DON'T GET PAID FOR IT, IT's ONE OF MY HOBBIES)

I'm planning to move from the one I'm in (nobody knows for now) because some things are turning wrong. I must think over that problem...


Short movies were ok when I was younger, to discover what it is, to find harmony between the image I sent to the audience and my true self.

It became to me very boring as I'm not naturally patient. I don't like all those technical stuffs one must always wait for.

And of course you should replay the scene when required, on demand as soon as there is a mess, lack of focus, or when a detail was fucked up.


Today I don't give a damn anymore, I just wanna have playful actors/Actresses with me, who enjoy what they do, only for the sake of pleasure, interesting texts,

a director that motivates me, so that I can improve and overpass my limits. The goal is to discover a bit more on myself thanks to a good work and a good team.

Giving a show is finally sharing fun, joy, and playing the fool in a serious world full of restrictions and pain (to make it short)

"to find the harmony between the image I sent to the audience and my true self" That's a great way to phrase what acting must give to those who actor. I think for many actors/actresses they just focus on the finished product as a whole rather than the technical rigour and experience to get there, they see themselves as artist as much as the writer/director does. Do you have an aversion to serious/dramatic texts also? When I was a bit younger I could only writer or read comedy, seriousness made me comfortable.

I admire people who can move through the world with such carefree, lightness. Do you find that it is hard to find others who deal with reality in this way? Or do you provide the light, sanguine touch in your acquaintances and friends lives?

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

"to find the harmony between the image I sent to the audience and my true self" That's a great way to phrase what acting must give to those who actor. I think for many actors/actresses they just focus on the finished product as a whole rather than the technical rigour and experience to get there, they see themselves as artist as much as the writer/director does. Do you have an aversion to serious/dramatic texts also? When I was a bit younger I could only writer or read comedy, seriousness made me comfortable.

I admire people who can move through the world with such carefree, lightness. Do you find that it is hard to find others who deal with reality in this way? Or do you provide the light, sanguine touch in your acquaintances and friends lives?

Honestly, the result must be good, I'm not going to tell you the result isn't important !

BUT : The most important to have a good life is to enjoy the road and landscape before my arrival,

my goal or whatever viewed as a result. I'm not "goal oriented" anyway.

I don't read/play serious or classic texts (Molière and Shakespeare are not for me !). I love to deal with a peculiar rhythm, an atmosphere with a witty thread...

I only count on myself, so to answer your last question, I'm not waiting for others to bring their light.

I definitely trust myself more than I trust others (that is a very complicate subject).

I have noticed when I bring my natural sanguine touch (I have a sanguine temper indeed for the worst and the best !), people get automatically encouraged to do so.

Smile to a person you have chances they smile in return. Be angry with them you have chances they put shit on your back.

I'm not looking for giving the example or being a model for others (that would be too heavy to cary ).

But I've recently discovered I probably feel unconsciously "in charge" of the atmosphere. There are so many things we do unconsciously, you know....

Even if we think we know...

If people aren't receptive to my energy I don't bother with them and go way sooner or later.

I also love my friends' shadows and mine. In my humble opinion one can't receive and bring the light without knowing/working on his/her (deep) shadows...

(if the soul of Jung reads me right now, it'll be proud of his work!).

 

[human101]

Honestly, the result must be good, I'm not going to tell you the result isn't important !

BUT : The most important to have a good life is to enjoy the road and landscape before my arrival,

my goal or whatever viewed as a result. I'm not "goal oriented" anyway.

I don't read/play serious or classic texts (Molière and Shakespeare are not for me !). I love to deal with a peculiar rhythm, an atmosphere with a witty thread...

I only count on myself, so to answer your last question, I'm not waiting for others to bring their light.

I definitely trust myself more than I trust others (that is a very complicate subject).

I have noticed when I bring my natural sanguine touch (I have a sanguine temper indeed for the worst and the best !), people get automatically encouraged to do so.

Smile to a person you have chances they smile in return. Be angry with them you have chances they put shit on your back.

I'm not looking for giving the example or being a model for others (that would be too heavy to cary ).

But I've recently discovered I probably feel unconsciously "in charge" of the atmosphere. There are so many things we do unconsciously, you know....

Even if we think we know...

If people aren't receptive to my energy I don't bother with them and go way sooner or later.

I also love my friends' shadows and mine. In my humble opinion one can't receive and bring the light without knowing/working on his/her (deep) shadows...

(if the soul of Jung reads me right now, it'll be proud of his work!).

"Peculiar rhythm....." Do you like the writer Nikolai Gogol, his subject matter is serious but from an absurd, comical angle.

I think your perspective/approach is very healthy, is this natural or something developed overtime, influence from family maybe?

The men in my family stretching back several generations were involved in the military, I think this contributes to seeing reality in a goal oriented way at the expense of emotional satisfaction.

Just through your writing you seem to have a healthy balance between confidence, ego and perspective which is charming. I wouldn't be surprised if your presence makes people feel good, others maybe repelled especially men I suspect because such balance and intelligence can be intimidating. Do you look for such qualities in your partners, or can more low key partners arouse your interest. I find ESFP women hard to read they seem so sure of themselves externally, I'm not sure what they could need/want in another.

How do you go about working on your shadow? For me Fi is something I'm consciously looking to develop while still in my early 20s.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

"Peculiar rhythm....." Do you like the writer Nikolai Gogol, his subject matter is serious but from an absurd, comical angle.

I think your perspective/approach is very healthy, is this natural or something developed overtime, influence from family maybe?

The men in my family stretching back several generations were involved in the military, I think this contributes to seeing reality in a goal oriented way at the expense of emotional satisfaction.

Just through your writing you seem to have a healthy balance between confidence, ego and perspective which is charming. I wouldn't be surprised if your presence makes people feel good, others maybe repelled especially men I suspect because such balance and intelligence can be intimidating. Do you look for such qualities in your partners, or can more low key partners arouse your interest. I find ESFP women hard to read they seem so sure of themselves externally, I'm not sure what they could need/want in another.

How do you go about working on your shadow? For me Fi is something I'm consciously looking to develop while still in my early 20s.

Merci beaucoup.

To tell you the truth, my family, as I said in another thread, was dysfunctional. So I left home early. I was very rebellious against rules for a long time and too much.

I had become a "fighting lady" against the world. Until I realised I had to grow up (and I still have to !)/

My military ground pushed me very early to go against or beyond imposed boundaries, against sad préjugés, and to fear authority and imprisonment.

At the age of 20 I was trapped in a hit-and-run, they caught me at my work place (and strangely...where my father was born).

I was making fun at the cop and was very proud of my "I don't give a damn" and arrogant attitude. When my father learnt it the day after, I saw him cry (he is a cop ISFP).

That event was important, but the most important for my growth was my rebellious strike causing me many problems. I was throwing my energy into sports (mainly swimming).


I was dating many men due to "my aggressive side", so I had several at the same time, and finally I choose none.

My feelings were blocked. My sexual life was intense and chaotic...

I had fun and let them down until I realised many years later I was not satisfied with my life.


I discovred therapy (around 22), analysing my problems and taking care of my life instead of fighting with authorities (and men).

I had started to be very selective with friendship and develop principles (I was not dependent of my Se anymore).


I have solid friendship based on sincerity and deep sharing, advise, strength and fun. They are precious jewels to me. Trust and open-mind are very important to me.

I finally let drop all my adventures and developped very nice friendships with some men I selected with great care who really helped me

(most of them are men with a good feminine side and positive anima).


Very late (around my 28) I could finally be conscious of my repressed feelings : they had no space in myself, and that made me unhappy.

I had money, men, travels, hobbies, but something was wrong. I changed my job, the place I was living at, and said what I had to say to both of my parents.

Now, I could start a new life with harmony, care, real sharing, trust and strength.



Here I started to develop my talents with arts with some good teachers (theatre, short movies, personal development).

I got confident in my friendship, men were at my feet (but only the weak ones that I would finally soon despise).

Suffering is a jewel, it shows you your weak spots, where you must evolve.


I have constructed myself between insatisfactions, an incredible need for freedom, a strong will to be independent, the urge to explore my many desires (not only sexual),

studies, loneliness, deception, passion and curiosity. Feeling good with myself happened when I was 30, when my drug wasn't "pleasure" at all cost !

There I was, I started to learn more and more my values (Fi ?)

and express them (Te ?) . Writing was very helpful too. I use it to work on my shadow. I teach writing and languages to some people that need it.

I can trust men I choose and they can approach me even if I'm highly selective.

Since 2 years, what helped me was working in groups, accepting others, accepting myself, my spiritual life that allows me to get in touch with tenderness and calmness.


In my partner I'm looking for an equal/playful/openminded/trusful/high expectations soul.

 

[human101]

Merci beaucoup.

To tell you the truth, my family, as I said in another thread, was dysfunctional. So I left home early. I was very rebellious against rules for a long time and too much.

I had become a "fighting lady" against the world. Until I realised I had to grow up (and I still have to !)/

My military ground pushed me very early to go against or beyond imposed boundaries, against sad préjugés, and to fear authority and imprisonment.

At the age of 20 I was trapped in a hit-and-run, they caught me at my work place (and strangely...where my father was born).

I was making fun at the cop and was very proud of my "I don't give a damn" and arrogant attitude. When my father learnt it the day after, I saw him cry (he is a cop ISFP).

That event was important, but the most important for my growth was my rebellious strike causing me many problems. I was throwing my energy into sports (mainly swimming).


I was dating many men due to "my aggressive side", so I had several at the same time, and finally I choose none.

My feelings were blocked. My sexual life was intense and chaotic...

I had fun and let them down until I realised many years later I was not satisfied with my life.


I discovred therapy (around 22), analysing my problems and taking care of my life instead of fighting with authorities (and men).

I had started to be very selective with friendship and develop principles (I was not dependent of my Se anymore).


I have solid friendship based on sincerity and deep sharing, advise, strength and fun. They are precious jewels to me. Trust and open-mind are very important to me.

I finally let drop all my adventures and developped very nice friendships with some men I selected with great care who really helped me

(most of them are men with a good feminine side and positive anima).


Very late (around my 28) I could finally be conscious of my repressed feelings : they had no space in myself, and that made me unhappy.

I had money, men, travels, hobbies, but something was wrong. I changed my job, the place I was living at, and said what I had to say to both of my parents.

Now, I could start a new life with harmony, care, real sharing, trust and strength.



Here I started to develop my talents with arts with some good teachers (theatre, short movies, personal development).

I got confident in my friendship, men were at my feet (but only the weak ones that I would finally soon despise).

Suffering is a jewel, it shows you your weak spots, where you must evolve.


I have constructed myself between insatisfactions, an incredible need for freedom, a strong will to be independent, the urge to explore my many desires (not only sexual),

studies, loneliness, deception, passion and curiosity. Feeling good with myself happened when I was 30, when my drug wasn't "pleasure" at all cost !

There I was, I started to learn more and more my values (Fi ?)

and express them (Te ?) . Writing was very helpful too. I use it to work on my shadow. I teach writing and languages to some people that need it.

I can trust men I choose and they can approach me even if I'm highly selective.

Since 2 years, what helped me was working in groups, accepting others, accepting myself, my spiritual life that allows me to get in touch with tenderness and calmness.


In my partner I'm looking for an equal/playful/openminded/trusful/high expectations soul.

Thanks for sharing this, very enlightening. So do you feel therapy was an important point in you growth something you would recommend others to try? I think I have some emotional trauma that needs to be dealt with.

From the way you write I sense you have preserved an original touch to your personality, do you find yourself still fighting that rebellious "fighting lady' from taking over your personality. Or has the internal battle within yourself ended?

I'm also curious to know what a women such as yourself perceives to be a weak man is this something you have always had a sense or something that became more apparent as you took control of you personal growth? In your 20s while still out of control somewhat, what were you looking for in men and which of these qualities is no longer important if any?

Since you are ESFP and I am INTJ we have the same functions reversed, what do you think an INTJ can do to improve or understand use of Se & Fi.

Turning dreams into reality is a Se thing I need to get into the habit of that

 

[Taratango]

I am an INTP, and my ENFJ boyfriend said he knew I liked him because I wasn't so mean to him and could put up with him.
... So there's that?