ENTP Girls

[baccheion]

I've often heard that our best matches are INFJs and INTJs because they help balance us, ground us, and bring us in touch with our more vulnerable sides. While I don't disagree that this may work for other people, I've found that I personally clash with INTJs in relationships. As co-workers they're excellent, and as friends they're a charm, but romantically I find them far too slow to react, dispassionate, and quite dry. INFJs also make amazing friends but boyfriends? I've dated two so far and while at first they're a nice, calm presence, but after the butterflies wear out there's always this major disconnect and a complete lack of understanding that I can't quite overcome. There's of course the issue of burning out really fast which I've found quite common for our type. Frankly, I have no idea how any of us survive in long-term relationships without getting bored, but I'm sure there are plenty that do it and I want to know how!

I've heard that when people first meet me I appear much softer but once I become more comfortable with someone my personality comes out I'm pretty fiery and full of sass (or I'm just as ass, that could be it too). I'm comfortable with who I am, but I realize being female and having a big personality is intimidating and often times people seem to just follow my lead - something that's flattering, but annoying as hell when it comes to dating. I hate always making the shots, always taking charge, always wearing the pants in a relationship. I don't want to be the big personality all the time and it would be nice if for once I dated someone who had a more dominating persona than mine (something that seems hard to find, even when I'm toning myself down).

I'm not really into the dating thing right now, but I'm curious to learn what your guys' advice is on this for the future? What would be a better personality type to tone me down? What is a good match for an ENTP girl? Other ENTP girls (and guys) how do you handle dating?

If you are open to answering a set of questions, I can tell you how well you (specifically) match with each type. PM me if you want a link to the text file with the questions.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I guess it depends on the person too, but the INTJs I've known were better at that that me. I don't mean in a "let's share our emotions every time we feel them" kind of way by any means - sometimes talking about that is like pulling teeth - but they're much more grounded and calm than we are, which I found to be a good balance.

Yes, grounded and calm are quite likely but that is not the same as "bring us in touch with our more vulnerable sides". (at least it isn't towards my definitions)

Watching your posts/thread my conclusion was that what you like about INTJs is often what you also dislike about them, since those traits are just two different sides of the same coin.
My only real problem with ENTP women comes down to ADHD and will I be able to trust them because of such traits.

 

[Dyslexxie]

If you are open to answering a set of questions, I can tell you how well you (specifically) match with each type. PM me if you want a link to the text file with the questions.

Sure, that'd be cool!

Yes, grounded and calm are quite likely but that is not the same as "bring us in touch with our more vulnerable sides". (at least it isn't towards my definitions)

Watching your posts/thread my conclusion was that what you like about INTJs is often what you also dislike about them, since those traits are just two different sides of the same coin.
My only real problem with ENTP women comes down to ADHD and will I be able to trust them because of such traits.

Totally fair - bad wording on my part.
Oh that's probably true. I'm constantly torn between two very different and dissimilar scenarios in life so it's not surprising it surpasses into this as well.
ADHD, bossiness, impatience, there are many things that we inherently deal with but there are positives as well. I don't know think types matter as much on an individual basis - it's so dependent on the people in the situation that isn't really difficult to say type A should date type B but not C.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Totally fair - bad wording on my part.
Oh that's probably true. I'm constantly torn between two very different and dissimilar scenarios in life so it's not surprising it surpasses into this as well.
ADHD, bossiness, impatience, there are many things that we inherently deal with but there are positives as well. I don't know think types matter as much on an individual basis - it's so dependent on the people in the situation that isn't really difficult to say type A should date type B but not C.

To tell you the truth I don't mind bossiness and impatience as long as they are not completely out of proportions. As a matter of fact I prefer women that are some kind of a challange and which are not completely stereotypical women. Establishing any kind of deep connection with an F is hard for me, plus in many cases it is also pretty draining and awkward as well. However it happens that if you admit something like this to atypical women that they will look at you as if you are crazy, due to the fact that they are convinced that they can't be loved for what they are.


However ADHD stuff can be a problem when/if it turns into auto destruction and braking deals. I have nothing against "free spirit" since this turn me on actually, but I like that there are brakes somewhere. Just in case we really need them in order not to slam into a wall.


I don't believe in "Type A should date type D" logic. I simply think that typology is good for realizing all the options, what helps you define what you really want. Not to menation that typology says very little about many important details about the person that may really matter in the end.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

In my opinion (and I'm obviously generalizing) the best matches for ENTP girls are : ENTPs, ESTPs, INTJs, INTPs

 

[tinker683]

I'll take "Mythical Creatures I've never had the pleasure to meet in person" for $400 Alex!

No, seriously, I'm not sure I've ever met an ENTP female but all the ExTP women I've ever met were fantastic. Not at all interested in me (until they got married, then I became oddly fascinating to them) but wonderful all the same, even though they all seemed to operate in a perpetual state of chaos.

I'd think any INxx would be a good match for an ENTP. The "I" because other Extroverts will wear you out, and "N" so you won't get bored

 

[Lia_kat]

Back to the OP, but deepest sympathies to you and yours, Diablesse.

It sounds like you might want another big personality type. Ever dated a ESTJ, ENTJ, or ENFJ? Every male I know of these 3 types is a pretty strong person...... most people say I am one of the strongest people they know, and they are not talking of my 6'5" muscalar frame, though that might help, lol....

Agreed. [MENTION=26046]Dyslexxie[/MENTION] , my husband is an ENFJ and he has a strong, dominant, but calm personality. He is in touch with his feminine side but I think this makes him connect with women on a deep level and makes him irrestibly charming. I have witnessed this first hand with girls flirting with him at work and not knowing I'm his wife LOL. He loves to take charge with everything in his life. He always considers another person's feelings and can be highly perceptive and intuitive, has a brilliant mind (I've learned so much), can be serious but he can also be super warm, kind, silly, playful, etc.

As with anyone else, many things influenced his personality, especially the relationship with his parents and being in the military but he's definitely an ENFJ. He's also a 2w1 so that can change things a bit. Anyway, my point is don't take them off the list just yet! Maybe you'll enjoy being with a big, strong, gentle teddy bear. Haha.

 

[Forever]

How about not worry about their type so much and see if they fit your common list of things you want from a guy?

I've given up my search for INJ's that way and when I am more open to possibilities it's more possible to find someone you like. In fact the girl who I talk to every once a week I suspect is INFJ. Very much into perspectives and a patient listener but not afraid to share what she thinks and is extremely polite and me and her talked for a loooong time. But she has a boyfriend lol and while I don't find her exactly physically attractive, her personality is great.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

How about not worry about their type so much and see if they fit your common list of things you want from a guy?

I've given up my search for INJ's that way and when I am more open to possibilities it's more possible to find someone you like. In fact the girl who I talk to every once a week I suspect is INFJ. Very much into perspectives and a patient listener but not afraid to share what she thinks and is extremely polite and me and her talked for a loooong time. But she has a boyfriend lol and while I don't find her exactly physically attractive, her personality is great.

BF is not a deal breaker, but not your physical preference is usually a bigger deal. ...

 

[Forever]

BF is not a deal breaker, but not your physical preference is usually a bigger deal. ...

Yeah. Physically and personality wise being both are really hard for me to find. If I could find both that'd be amazing! Although I rather live with an average looking good personality than a hot one with a terrible personality.