ENFP and ISTP Relationships

[five sounds]

Makes sense, its compartmentalizing the individual pieces. I weigh the good and bad and assign the whole on a scale. It would be kinda like a pros and cons list except it gets a scale rating instead of picking a side. Of course non of this is actually paper and pencil nor do I put any effort into figuring out my scale. Its just one of those things that's automatic and natural.

Automatic and natural, exactly. Ne dominance is about equal to naturally being all over the place in the eyes of others.

[AsianENFP]

I feel comfortable and "at peace" when he is around. Comfortable even with all the squabbles we get into (short-lived!). He is amused by all my nonsense - forgetting things, getting way too easily excited. I am not sure why I like him but I really do. I think his obvious acceptance (and even amusement) of whatever makes me a little crazy to other types (though he does criticize me - teasingly - from time to time) is what I love and "find peace" in. I don't know any other type that would do this for me. ISTJs are too inquisitive. ISTPs are not so much.

I never withhold my compliments from him. He does, from me. But I know he admires what I do because he doesn't do what I do. Queen Bee Socialite that I am.

We hang out a lot and I am very sure we both like each other. But... he is seven years my junior and I feel like he is going to be holding back from going further in the relationship (help!) although he has made physical advances to show me he likes me. (but he respects boundaries between us even though sometimes I show that I want his physical affection)

I don't know how it will work long-term because I worry I am too paranoid about how much he trusts/doesn't trust me

Also, I worry that I misunderstand where he is coming from sometimes. (related to above)

It's pretty hard to fight - this attraction - but I worry that we will be too physically involved without working out other things like him sharing his emotions / talking about the future ... with me.

[aanule]

My brother is an ISTP... I've lived with him for 30 of my 31 years (he lives with me at this point), and I honestly don't think I know him. He's very withdrawn, hardly ever shows affection for me or my children. I know it's in there, but it just doesn't come out. Analytical to a fault, unable to see the emotion in a situation for the logic... Which drives me nuts.

I think he's either an aspie, or emotionally stunted from the passing of our father when he was 14. Either way, I just leave him be. I don't try to be more than a landlord anymore, it's not worth my emotional investment.

[Poki]

My brother is an ISTP... I've lived with him for 30 of my 31 years (he lives with me at this point), and I honestly don't think I know him. He's very withdrawn, hardly ever shows affection for me or my children. I know it's in there, but it just doesn't come out. Analytical to a fault, unable to see the emotion in a situation for the logic... Which drives me nuts.

I think he's either an aspie, or emotionally stunted from the passing of our father when he was 14. Either way, I just leave him be. I don't try to be more than a landlord anymore, it's not worth my emotional investment.

If you don't think you know him, how do you know he is ISTP? ;P

[Russian]

Hi, everybody!
About what ISTP there is a speech? What functions at them? Ti + Se?
At us in socionics such relations are called conflict, after all as Ti + Se - types, these are people of structural thinking, they are mad about an order (Ti) and actively protect (Se) the order.
ENFP (Ne + Fi) are freedom-loving persons, they are afraid such as of Ti+Se, are afraid that "will cage" them.
Another matter of ISTJ (Si+Te), is the people loving comfort, they wish to hold nobody locked up, but with them so warmly that ENFP don't wish to leave.

[Russian]

I'm sorry for bad translate.

ISTP's (LSI) functions:

Ti

Thoroughly penetrates into business in which is engaged. Stubborn and persistently collects information completely to own a situation. The collector or the bibliophile, especially interests him reference books. The supporter of a strict order and the debugged system. Everything that doesn't fit into it, rejects as illogical. In the business interesting him regularly checks and controls its course. It is balanced and executive itself, demands the same from others. Respects subordination. Doesn't take into account of personal sympathies, so far as concerns business. Displays subjects in strictly taken away places. Doesn't suffer when someone takes without demand or shifts its things.

Se

Sober realist: sets before itself only the feasible purposes therefore in most cases achieves them even if and not at once. If explanations and preventions don't help, includes pressing and other power methods of management. Is able to pressurize the opponent, driving him into a corner. Stoik who is able to behave. Transfers any adversities. Forces itself to do that is uninteresting, but it is necessary. Helps those who is weak, defenseless. Sponsors old and sick. Happens the imperceptible loner fighter for justice.

Fi

In public keeps politely and correctly. Can force to be cheerful and sociable. Easily contacts situational, incontinuous character. The behavior causes trust. Patiently listens to people who address to it. Sympathizes with them, shows the arrangement. Though passes to a close distance, but rejects familiarity in the relations. Sticks with the native severely to the house. Likes to bring up, moralize. It is reliable in the attachments though happens that is painfully broken off between two objects of sympathies at once.

Ne

It is very attached to the outlook. Doesn't go on concessions and compromises. Selects friends to itself for a coincidence of views. Judges human abilities on himself. If I can do it why others aren't present? The intuition to it is replaced by the personal relation. Maybe will trust in the well-wisher, the earphone, the pseudo-supporter. Appreciates people intellectual, creatively gifted. Can forgive them even egoism and not ethics.

Fe

Itself usually is in gloomy mood. Accumulates negative emotions. Having splashed out them on somebody, feels sense of relief. Frequent change of an emotional background is necessary for it for a good physical shape. Doesn't transfer the directed pressure negative emotions - we cry, whims, charges. It is easier for it to concede, than to ignore them. It is internally quite sensitive and vulnerable though and doesn't show it, considering the weakness.

[SearchingforPeace]

Fwiw, my ENFP friend says sex with her ISTP ex was the best she ever had. But it was like a two year one night stand.....

[Poki]

Hi, everybody!
About what ISTP there is a speech? What functions at them? Ti + Se?
At us in socionics such relations are called conflict, after all as Ti + Se - types, these are people of structural thinking, they are mad about an order (Ti) and actively protect (Se) the order.
ENFP (Ne + Fi) are freedom-loving persons, they are afraid such as of Ti+Se, are afraid that "will cage" them.
Another matter of ISTJ (Si+Te), is the people loving comfort, they wish to hold nobody locked up, but with them so warmly that ENFP don't wish to leave.

Ti is generally associated with the ability to recognize logical consistency and correctness, generate and apply classifications and systems, organize systematic and conceptual understanding, see logical connections between things (including logical similarities, differences, and correlations) by means of instinctive feelings of validity, symmetry, and even beauty. It is like common sense, in that it builds on one's expectations of reality, through a somewhat personal, though explicable, understanding of general truths and how they are manifested .

Completely me. Does it mean I am controlled by my logic, no. My logical and functional side is what ENFPs enjoy because I am not hung up on it to the point where it causes issues. My Se is what guides me in controlling my environment. Combined with my other functions it helps to provide that balance. Control...to a degree. I made a comment to someone the other day I would just trip her, catch her, and redirect her while she is still scratching her head trying to figure out what happened. She agreed with me that matches me. Se is a highly perceptive function that pulls in so much information combine with Ti that we understand logically that which surrounds us. Even to the point of feelings and emotions. Logic and such really does apply, lack of ability to apply is not equal lack of capability of logic, just user itself.

[ChocolateMoose123]

The romantic side is really good. We are both very romantically and sexually open. Willing to try new things.

We are also in an open relationship. Neither of us are focused on the "open" relationship though nor are we looking for someone to replace each other. Its just more to enhance life if/when things come up. Life is to busy right now to really explore it more then we have. Open both in going outside the relationship sexually or emotionally to a degree or bringing another into it. Pretty much not limiting our life by rules that impede things, while focusing on working towards enjoying life as much as possible.

Interesting. I brought up this idea early on in the relationship (I like the idea of it - and probably wouldn't utilize it as much as people would think but it would be nice for both of us to act on a moment if we wanted to) but he wasn't keen on it. Which is fine.

[Riva]

Dear ISTPs,

Take if from me, never ever pursue an ENFP. They are the hunters when it comes to love and relationships. If they decide they like you, they'll come after you. Go after them, and you'll get your heart broken.

There is an exception to the rule. That is pursuing one will work if you know how to play your cards really really well. Even then, don't keep your hopes up. Try, but never with your hopes up.