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  1. #1

    Default INTJs, would you ever date an ESFJ?

    INTJ ESFJ relationships, friendship or love, any compatibility? - Personality Website

    My INTJ friends claim that Ns and Ss shouldn't mix and they would never date a person with a sensing preference.

    I on the other hand have had a great experience with a younger ESFJ woman, until I was dumped, but it was probably my fault for not spending enough time with her.
    "Life is 10% what happens to u and 90% how you react to it." nc entj

  2. #2
    phallus impudicus Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    So what you're really saying is that you're actually an INTP.

  3. #3

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    Why do you think that? Are INTPs really that compatible with ESFJs?
    "Life is 10% what happens to u and 90% how you react to it." nc entj

  4. #4
    Saturn's Amethyst
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacopa View Post
    Why do you think that? Are INTPs really that compatible with ESFJs?
    In socionics there's a thing called duality where its said that our ideal relationship is with our dual (i.e your type but all functions reversed like INTP/ESFJ, INTJ/ESFP, ISTP/ENFJ e.t.c). Well technically LII/ESE, ILI/SEE, LSI/EIE. The idea is that with INTP/ESFJ they each are seeking each others dom function (INTP is seeking Fe and ESFJ Ti) and both have Ne/Si in the middle so thats where the idea comes from I presume.

  5. #5

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    That's crazy. Most ESFPs annoy the hell out of me.
    "Life is 10% what happens to u and 90% how you react to it." nc entj

  6. #6
    phallus impudicus Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    To be honest, I would imagine that ESFJ in general rub INTJ the wrong way for two main reasons:

    1. ESFJ are Fe-dominant, and Fe is the PoLR function of INTJ, so it's really just not their thing overall.
    2. ESFJ value Si in second position, whereas with INTJ, Si comes in last at eighth position.

    These two types really don't have anything in common. They are oppositely oriented with regard to I/E, J/P, and axes, and each has the other's PoLR function as a dominant function, as well as the other's eighth function as auxiliary.

    In my experience, most INTJ have a difficult time working professionally with ESFJ, and I would imagine that ESFJ are equally annoyed with the INTJ's disposition, so I don't see any reason why these two would be particularly compatible elsewhere. Although I think it's unwise to view human relationships so strictly through the lens of typology, I really don't see there being much of a draw or complimentary dynamic between these two.

  7. #7
    I Will Do This Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    To be honest, I would imagine that ESFJ in general rub INTJ the wrong way for two main reasons:

    1. ESFJ are Fe-dominant, and Fe is the PoLR function of INTJ, so it's really just not their thing overall.
    2. ESFJ value Si in second position, whereas with INTJ, Si comes in last at eighth position.

    These two types really don't have anything in common. They are oppositely oriented with regard to I/E, J/P, and axes, and each has the other's PoLR function as a dominant function, as well as the other's eighth function as auxiliary.

    In my experience, most INTJ have a difficult time working professionally with ESFJ, and I would imagine that ESFJ are equally annoyed with the INTJ's disposition, so I don't see any reason why these two would be particularly compatible elsewhere. Although I think it's unwise to view human relationships so strictly through the lens of typology, I really don't see there being much of a draw or complimentary dynamic between these two.
    Basically this. I would hesitate to exclude anyone based on type since people are more complex than that. In my experience, however, ESFJ is one of the types I tend to get along with least. I can maintain a cordial professional relationship with almost anyone, but it is unlikely I would enter any sort of romantic relationship with an ESFJ, or even a close friendship.
    Nothing is more unnerving to the truly conventional than the unashamed misfit!

  8. #8
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    To be honest, I would imagine that ESFJ in general rub INTJ the wrong way for two main reasons:

    1. ESFJ are Fe-dominant, and Fe is the PoLR function of INTJ, so it's really just not their thing overall.
    2. ESFJ value Si in second position, whereas with INTJ, Si comes in last at eighth position.

    These two types really don't have anything in common. They are oppositely oriented with regard to I/E, J/P, and axes, and each has the other's PoLR function as a dominant function, as well as the other's eighth function as auxiliary.

    In my experience, most INTJ have a difficult time working professionally with ESFJ, and I would imagine that ESFJ are equally annoyed with the INTJ's disposition, so I don't see any reason why these two would be particularly compatible elsewhere. Although I think it's unwise to view human relationships so strictly through the lens of typology, I really don't see there being much of a draw or complimentary dynamic between these two.
    Very unwise.

    That said I have worked with ESFJ's and got unsolicited advice from them far too often, which was off-putting. Socially I think they are fine tho.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #9

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    Most ESFJs I've met are very nice people, except some of the older ones, the boomers. But I don't like that generation anyway.
    "Life is 10% what happens to u and 90% how you react to it." nc entj

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