The Forehead Kiss

[Siúil a Rúin]

Leading up to my first marriage we were attending a church that taught about no sex before marriage and we waited. It resulted in some sexual incompatibility, but more than that the long wait time actually damaged the sexuality that was there. That's about all I'll say about it specifically.

The traditional view of no sex before marriage fit better with a culture that had no birth control, and people did hard physical labor all day on the farm, would come home exhausted, eat dinner, and then sometimes have sex when they weren't too tired because they needed to give birth to more farm hands to help with the work. Personal compatibility, sexual preferences, emotional connections, feeling understood, feeling "seen", was all pretty secondary to just getting the work done to survive.

It is strangely easier to be compatible when there is no time for self-reflection, understanding your emotions, and basically when intimacy isn't really even an option. I had relationships that started in poverty and they worked better when the focus was survival. When the person becomes set with a good career and the focus goes more to the actual people, then intimacy and compatibility reveals its absence. It is a romantic hope and ideal to have actual intimacy and sexual compatibility. It isn't something humans in general achieve very well in my impression of it. I don't know what the answers are, except recognizing that a desire for true intimacy is completely different than the traditional framework and conception of marriage.

 

[Population: 1]

I know I’m hopelessly in love with a woman when I hold her close and give her a forehead kiss. I’ve dismantled the action to see it’s inner workings and for me personally it means it’s the closest I can get to kissing her mind, her soul, the very core of her being. It’s also a display of my willingness to protect her. It means I’d give my life for her.

I’m a hopeless romantic underneath. Sue me.

 

[Luminous]

This is why I think it's important to be able to talk openly and honestly with your potential partner about sex. Which given that so much of what so many people actually like is held up as taboo in "polite society conversation" It doesnt make a lot of sense to me to not at least be able to talk about it, even if you choose to wait. (This isnt directed at anyone here, just in general)

Sex in general communication is key.

Even talking about it may not actually shed light on possible issues, unfortunately. People sometimes don't know themselves, what they want, etc that well or they tell themselves they want what feels most acceptable. Humans are so complicated.

 

[INTerran]

This is why I think it's important to be able to talk openly and honestly with your potential partner about sex. Which given that so much of what so many people actually like is held up as taboo in "polite society conversation" It doesnt make a lot of sense to me to not at least be able to talk about it, even if you choose to wait. (This isnt directed at anyone here, just in general) Sex in general communication is key.

I definitely agree with communication being a big key element. Mr. INTJ had some big concerns because it turns out he is a soft dominant, and he didn't know how I would handle that kind of thing. Before we took one step forward, we sat down and discussed my boundaries and his kink and quite a few other elements to everything. Once we were sure we understood one another and were in agreement then he was ok with taking the relationship to that next level. And we continue to have very open, frank conversations along the way.

 

[INTerran]

Even talking about it may not actually shed light on possible issues, unfortunately. People sometimes don't know themselves, what they want, etc that well or they tell themselves they want what feels most acceptable. Humans are so complicated.

I guess I am fortunate that my guy definitely has a clear idea of what he likes/doesn't like. He was able to articulate exactly what he meant by being dominant and what it would entail for us. I've had a harder time with it because I have a lack of experience to really truly know. And again I'm fortunate that he has been extremely patient with me, always checking with me to ensure that I'm ok with what is happening, etc.

 

[INTerran]

I know I'm hopelessly in love with a woman when I hold her close and give her a forehead kiss. I've dismantled the action to see it's inner workings and for me personally it means it's the closest I can get to kissing her mind, her soul, the very core of her being. It's also a display of my willingness to protect her. It means I'd give my life for her. I'm a hopeless romantic underneath. Sue me.

That's super sweet! He did the forehead kiss three times this past weekend! I LOVE it!

 

[Luminous]

I guess I am fortunate that my guy definitely has a clear idea of what he likes/doesn't like. He was able to articulate exactly what he meant by being dominant and what it would entail for us. I've had a harder time with it because I have a lack of experience to really truly know. And again I'm fortunate that he has been extremely patient with me, always checking with me to ensure that I'm ok with what is happening, etc.

Yeah well, people also change with time.

 

[Hermit of the Forest]

Yeah well, people also change with time.

True. Even good marriages can go bad, no matter when sex came into the picture.

 

[Kanra Jest]

Strange. But cute. Forehead kisses are a cute thing. But I think kissing their cheeks are the cutest thing ever. Just saying. I liked that, personally, cuz it's much softer like the lips are but not necessarily sexual.

 

[Abcdenfp]

I know I’m hopelessly in love with a woman when I hold her close and give her a forehead kiss. I’ve dismantled the action to see it’s inner workings and for me personally it means it’s the closest I can get to kissing her mind, her soul, the very core of her being. It’s also a display of my willingness to protect her. It means I’d give my life for her.

I’m a hopeless romantic underneath. Sue me.

This ^^^^ is why its so romantic and totally disarming. Never goes out of style , never looses its tenderness and charm. Fucking sexy as hell.

 

[Mind Maverick]

I don't tend to read into what things mean, honestly. I don't interpret one physical action as more sincere or disarming than another. People act / lie. That's not to say I'm untrusting, it's simply that I don't gauge intentions according to physical actions, and therefore one doesn't have more meaning than another to me in that way. I am not in their mind and I cannot know what's genuinely on it as they're doing it. Even "just lust / desire" may be an expression of their love, passion, and craving for closeness and intimacy. Likewise, a kiss on the forehead from them could be mostly void of meaning, just some thoughtless whim. It could easily be feigned affection as well. I don't add interpretations unless they verbally express what things mean coming from them. I simply enjoy the sensations and immerse myself in the emotions. When there is mutual trust and love for a romantic partner, every physical action is a meaningful experience because it's with them.

 

[Hellena Handbasket]

Sometimes it doesn't even take a kiss

He does this to me a lot and I just:

 

[Morpeko]

I've only been forehead kissed once by a guy who was trying to have a one-night stand with me. So in that case, I don't think it really meant anything affectionate. I was too nervous and tense to enjoy it (he pointed out I was shaking a bit) so maybe he was trying to calm me down. He failed. Nothing happened after that.

I don't really think it means anything. I think a forehead kiss could be meaningful to me with the right person, but as a gesture I find it meaningless.

 

[Yuurei]

Ugh. The entire OP just smacks of “Typical female” sentiment. *eye roll*

Can’t remember the last time I had a forehead kiss, probably from my Grandfather. He was great.

 

[Coriolis]

Ugh. The entire OP just smacks of “Typical female” sentiment. *eye roll*

Can’t remember the last time I had a forehead kiss, probably from my Grandfather. He was great.

Indeed, but I can more readily see myself doing this than, well, many alternatives.

 

[ceecee]

They tend to be utilitarian, more top of the head kisses as the person kissing me is a foot taller. I don't fine it romantic, it's a bit paternal if I think about it long enough but mostly I don't care.

 

[Lexicon]

I’m tall (5’9”), usually eye-level (or close to it) with my partners, so forehead kisses were never really a thing. Just cheek & mouth.
Forehead would not feel romantic for me, but I can see how others might feel otherwise.


I once had a partner kiss all the big ugly scars on my face (I’ve had several reconstructive surgeries from infections that left deep, disfiguring scars— & this was before most were repaired), because I was so anxious/self conscious when he was that close-up to my face. It’s a sweet memory. One of many reasons we’re still close friends, despite being mutually incompatible as a couple [for completely unrelated reasons].

 

[Novella]

INTJ types are incredibly sweet under their many layers of intellect, resilience and stoicism. Gold nuggets.

 

[Firebird 8118]

INTJ types are incredibly sweet under their many layers of intellect, resilience and stoicism. Gold nuggets.

Awww - that’s nice to know

 

[dunce]

I know I’m hopelessly in love with a woman when I hold her close and give her a forehead kiss. I’ve dismantled the action to see it’s inner workings and for me personally it means it’s the closest I can get to kissing her mind, her soul, the very core of her being. It’s also a display of my willingness to protect her. It means I’d give my life for her.

I’m a hopeless romantic underneath. Sue me.

Just out of curiosity, would you give your life for her if she were committing an act of atrocity such as going to work every day as a guard part of a gulag, to borrow a historical example? I'm curious if your statement is an open declaration with no definite end, like a for loop with no counter in programming, or a broken record that keeps repeating itself because it's scratched, or if on the other hand, it's contingent on your lover being morally sound in the first place.

Please don't tell me you wouldn't have been with them in the first place had they been capable of an atrocious act because human nature is unpredictable and there's no way to reach such a conclusion.