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  1. #11
    shooting vultures Earl Grey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    874 sx/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    Also, does he define intimacy? Really, I think it could apply to all the variants... sp - sharing home and physical resources, sx - sharing that energy, spark, and magnetic fascination (maybe we could call this spiritual resources?), so - sharing social resources like contacts, providing support in the form of traditional social constructs (like attending weddings and funerals). A certain amount of intimacy is going to be required to share resources, as long as they are limited.
    THIS. The more I care about someone the more I hand these things out like flies.
    I used to think I hated networking (well in the business sense I guess) till I realized that if I care about someone I basically share my friends and resources with them (kind of networking in a sense?). People who are sp or soc blind miss them (different love language I suppose) and call me cold.

    To expand upon it I basically get interested in their influences, I want to get to know their friends and family, their networks, I will also show them mine. I will want to include them in my activities, I would also want to get to know their activities even if it was outside my normal interests. Kind of 'wanting to get to know their territory' so to speak, just not an sx one . . . ?
    Vallite King

    . . . for truth and peace you fight
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  2. #12
    Senior Member cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    9w1 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    What is your enneagram instinctual subtype and how do you describe intimacy in a relationship? That is what do you want in that area, what will you settle for and what is your ideal in that area?
    I am pretty sure I am sp/sx.

    Regarding intimacy, maybe similar to Tsaravich's statement, I may have all but washed my hands of it in a romantic context. I just don't even see it as possible/happening anymore.

    What I WANT in that area? Both someone I can call a companion and friend, with similar interests and acceptance of one another and enough common ground to be able to share thoughts and with enough stuff to talk about and enough alignment to want to and be able to share time and interests, AND also chemistry/physical attraction /the romantic lure. Both in one person? Eh, at this point, I really don't see it.

    What will I settle for? Apparently nothing.


    My treasured handful of friends are those I feel I can and do have a deeper relationship with. I realize this is all highly individual and my idea of 'deep' isn't necessarily going to align with anyone elses, but that doesn't matter to me. These are folks I feel I can truly be myself with and they accept/know all elements of me -- and I feel I have many sides/layers, so this says a lot. In contrast, I in the past year or so have been 'trying' to have a few more what I consider to be superficial friendships, simply in the name of not being by myself all of the time, as I only see my two good friends once every month or two, and three others I don't even see more than every year or three. Regarding these 'lighter' friendships (ie I can't in good conscience call them 'good friends' because I just don't see myself having enough 'layers' of myself that coincide with them ) -- not that I dislike them or don't value what they offer or etc, it's just that the dynamic is such that I'm not sure it'll ever be like it is with my closest friends. No fault of theirs, or I don't think mine... it's just a different feel. So I guess when it comes to friends I have recently tried to selectively 'settle' a bit more; but this is only a few people. I still don't have any interest in joining a club, organization, sports group, etc.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    6w7 sp/so


    I'm an Sp-dom. I'm not really sure how it impacts my relationships persay, but I find that I'm more driven to distance myself from and/or completely cut off people I see as jeopardizing my personal safety and well-being in some way (or that of the people I care about). At least that's a tendency I notice in myself. I do not see most people as toxic enough to warrant this treatment though.

    My understanding of Sx is that it deals more with intimacy and a deep connection than sex. Obviously, sex is a form and expression of intimacy, but you can still have intimate bonds with people without engaging in a sexual relationship.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Venus Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    4w5 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    What is your enneagram instinctual subtype and how do you describe intimacy in a relationship? That is what do you want in that area, what will you settle for and what is your ideal in that area?
    Erm, hard to put into words. It's like denuding that's not that just literal or physical per se, but mental, emotional, enlivening of that chemistry, feeling like you can let go and be yourself and he will just as much into you as he was in the beginning (ideally), being able to show ugly or even "boring" parts so to speak and nothing is boring to him, he wants to know every bit of you...all of this will lead to happiness and contentment for the sx dom very much so. Like I have finally lived my life. Otherwise something is seriously missing.
    if only I could find that some day...
    I don't know if I could settle for anything less, because anything else would just not be "it" and that wouldn't mean very much.
    EII | INFP
    4w5-9w1-6w5 sx/so
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