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  1. #21
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre View Post
    I am not well-versed in instinctual variants, but I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately. How common is it to be SX-first?
    I tried to find something on this, but couldn't find much. Mostly just this, which breaks it down by cognitive function, and which has no details on how they collected the data...Here Are The Most Common Enneagram Types For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type | Page 18 | Thought Catalog

  2. #22
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Do y'all find intense eye contact with certain people to be quite wonderful?
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  3. #23
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    This thread has been interesting for me to follow here and there, and really, the Sx dom world seems so foreign to me. I mean, sure, I do idealize that perfect relationship with someone and do like getting to new depths with other people, but I don’t have what you describe as having a sort of “need” like you constantly bounce around seeking to have that fulfilled. Just to be clear, there’s absolutely no implication in my words to suggest I think the viewpoints here are wrong in any way, just different, and I do find that fascinating.

    So, a question to all of you, regarding this need or desire to fill your glass of intense connection with others, 1) do you have a sense or feeling of just how large that glass is, for you? And 2) What might you suppose the implications are, of pursuing such fulfillment from others, for as long as you were aware of this particular need? Is it exhaustive? Unsatisfying?
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt


    ~Always, an Enthusiastic_Dreamer
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  4. #24
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    I tried to find something on this, but couldn't find much. Mostly just this, which breaks it down by cognitive function, and which has no details on how they collected the data...Here Are The Most Common Enneagram Types For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type | Page 18 | Thought Catalog
    I do know that Sp is the most common variant, with Sp/So being the standard I guess. Makes sense for society as a whole (using social connections for security).
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself


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  5. #25
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    So, a question to all of you, regarding this need or desire to fill your glass of intense connection with others, 1) do you have a sense or feeling of just how large that glass is, for you? And 2) What might you suppose the implications are, of pursuing such fulfillment from others, for as long as you were aware of this particular need? Is it exhaustive? Unsatisfying?
    1) I've never thought about it quite that way. I guess I'd say it depends on what you're putting in the glass... who the interactions are with, the quality, the depth. I've certainly felt satisfied before. But, overall in my life, I am more often unsatisfied. And some satisfying interactions just increase the intensity of the need; feed the hunger. I think for myself it boils down to having reliable quality time with certain people on a regular basis.

    2) Do you mean implications to myself or others? I have a difficult time getting out and meeting people in general, in person especially. And as I said, I don't naturally initiate (though I think I'm becoming more extroverted), so I feel frustration. A lack of the kind of connections I would like tends to leave me feeling depressed.

    As far as others go, there are only a few, a number that could be counted on one hand, who I believe ever felt I was being "too much" or "overwhelming". And I think they may have thought that because before that, they just didn't realize how much emotion there was inside of me. Sometimes I take for granted that something isn't obvious to other people. For instance, if I tell someone something good about themselves, and they react with Really? I feel surprised. Or if I feel an intense attraction toward someone, I assume at a gut level that everyone must be attracted to that person because their attractiveness is just so completely obvious and magnetic to me.
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  6. #26
    A Bittersweet Symphony... Eryn Silverfrond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    Do y'all find intense eye contact with certain people to be quite wonderful?
    big time
    There aren't any good guys, and there aren't any bad guys.
    There's just us.
    People.
    Doing our best to get by.

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  7. #27
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    Do y'all find intense eye contact with certain people to be quite wonderful?
    I avoid eye contact overall (subconsciously), but I do this when I want to challenge someone, as in I will lock on for a strategic number of seconds intensely but in a sort of... unreadable (?) way, and then look away and act like nothing ever happened. I do it to throw people off for my own sick amusement and see what kind of reaction I get. It's always men. If I am locking on to a woman, I probably have serious beef with her, but I have only done that a couple of times as a silent way of calling people out on their shittiness.

    Lol?
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself


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  8. #28
    A Bittersweet Symphony... Eryn Silverfrond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I avoid eye contact overall (subconsciously), but I do this when I want to challenge someone, as in I will lock on for a strategic number of seconds intensely but in a sort of... unreadable (?) way, and then look away and act like nothing ever happened. I do it to throw people off for my own sick amusement and see what kind of reaction I get. It's always men. If I am locking on to a woman, I probably have serious beef with her, but I have only done that a couple of times as a silent way of calling people out on their shittiness.

    Lol?

    there are no lolz in the void...
    There aren't any good guys, and there aren't any bad guys.
    There's just us.
    People.
    Doing our best to get by.

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  9. #29
    A Bittersweet Symphony... Eryn Silverfrond's Avatar
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    *Sauron noises*
    There aren't any good guys, and there aren't any bad guys.
    There's just us.
    People.
    Doing our best to get by.


  10. #30
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    And we chatted about, despite being introverted types who do not naturally initiate in social situations, feeling compelled in certain situations to initiate when there's a strong magnetic pull toward someone. For myself, I don't mean impulsive. Perhaps much of the reason I've been told it's "overwhelming", "too much", or found myself met with the other person's inability to communicate much of anything, is because I likely waited a bit too long, and allowed the feelings to boil up and out. I did honestly think that was what people did: grand declarations of love, outpourings of emotion, vulnerable honesty. I was extremely hurt when the response to my vulnerability and honesty, and the compliment I considered it to be, the gift I thought I was giving, was met with silence by several people. I understand more about their reaction now, can see how it was more from their points of view, but at the time, it felt like they were saying I wasn't worth responding to, I wasn't even worth rejecting.

    So I share Totenkindly's frustrations with feeling like I do the initiating much of the time. Of course, with that being the case, when someone else initiates, I don't always know how I ought to react. And now it's making me wonder about boundaries. There's advice that people shouldn't expect everything from one person; it's too much. And it is, really. You can't reasonably expect to get everything you need from other people from one person. But how do you decide where the boundaries go?
    I think that is why I feel stymied -- because I am crazy-respectful of boundaries and never wanted to be "That Person" who was invasive or disrespectful. I know I don't like to have my own boundaries violated if it's someone who I don't feel like I click with but they seem to be really into me for some reason. But my caution also means I might not take the risks to get the connections I want, inside. Or I will scan as far more aloof than i honestly feel towards someone.

    There have been times when I did kind of "gush" or reach out without fear to someone I felt a connection with and had misjudged. Mostly they responded either gracefully or neutrally, but I felt some degree of shame and embarrassment over it, after... partly for being so vulnerable, partly for stepping on toes.

    I also feel that, despite the movie cliches, there's an attitude that you shouldn't want so intensely to find that connection; like it means there's something wrong with you (Why don't you just look for whatever it is in yourself? Or build up your own self esteem so you don't need that connection), or that you're unrealistic and too idealistic (Okay, maybe they got me there, but what's the alternative? Just give up? Never be satisfied? - Maybe I won't be, it's likely I'm a 469 or 496 so doubt is inherent.)
    I guess there is that. I mean, it can be perceived as being needy. I am strongly independent and sometimes hate feeling that degree of potential 'neediness' and don't want to come off that way. But I know that I'm not happy with "comfortable" relationships where the two people don't really get that close. The relationships where I resonate are ones where I don't have to filter anything and I can also share anything and the other person is also sharing to the same level. There is such an intensity to it and such a feeling of nakedness... in the good ways. If it's not going to go there, it's difficult to invest.

    And I am by no means at an advanced level of understanding. Some of what I'm talking about could have more to do with being an INFP or my enneagram type or something else entirely. Feel free to say that if you think it.
    It's hard to tell. I do feel like my version of it is more about "secret sharing" (I think I'm described it as such before), where an ExFx type might view it from a different angle or facet.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
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