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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Am I sp/so or sp/sx?

JFrombaugh

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
64
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I know that I am INFP in MBTI, and as far as Enneagram goes, I'm pretty sure that I am a 9w1 with a heavy 4 fix, but even after taking several tests, It seems sp is the only instinct that I can reliably score high on.

So, time for another type me thread...which variant of sp-dom do you guys think I am?

The case for sp/so
-I have never been in an intimate relationship despite being 29 years old. Although, it's worth mentioning that I have had a number of borderline girlfriends - the issue I found was that my strong sense of personal barriers would eventually get in the way and shoot the whole thing down. Basically, even though I am well-aware what my turn-ons are and know when I am feeling that romantic pull, I've always found it difficult to take the initiative (to ask a girl out on a date, for instance), to be vigilant about calling on a regular basis, and the like...until eventually the other person gets tired of my "on again, off again" interest in them and decides to move on.
-I would say that I am very self-conscious, and care what other people think of me. I'm not sure if this is just my 1-wing talking, but I strongly related to Harry Potter's desire to be in Gryffindor because he had heard that "bad wizards" were in Slytherin.
-I have a definite filter in who I choose to try to become friends with, as in a sense of “good and bad people” built in, or an innate sense of knowing who has the same moral values or psychological understanding of the world (again, not sure if this is part of being a 9w1 or not-so-last) Although I don't like talking about politics much, as I feel it can stir up intense feelings and conflict (core 9!), I do have pretty strong political opinions, I just don't like to voice them except to those I know share them with me.
-I'm not the kind of person most people either seem to love or hate. Well, maybe I'm not as loved as I would like to be, but I rarely have people telling me they HATE me.
-I always try to exercise restraint in my passions. Generally, I find it pretty difficult to outwardly show affection (even though I am F in MBTI!). I have also always had a certain degree of disdain for the whole life of excess, drinking, drugs, and the like. It's a turn-off for me when I'm talking to someone, as in "How could you!?" I won't say that to the other person's face, but will be thinking it. Around people I don't know, I try to be kind of businesslike yet friendly in my interactions. I don't really have much of a "flirty" side as such.

The case for sp/sx
-I have never been much of a social "joiner" at all. Even from a young age, my parents were always struck by the difference between the way other students would treat their participation in things like student orgs, sports, and the likes with pride, while I, for the most part, basically just pretended all those things didn't exist. If I do join a club or something, it isn't because I want to become a "part" of it. To give a particularly egregious example from college, I basically only joined the Geology Club because a girl I thought was beautiful and wanted to get to know better was Treasurer of it. Admittedly, part of it did also have to do with the fact that we could find common ground in conversation due to our shared interest, but as soon as she graduated I lost interest in being a member of the club - even though my actual interest in geology didn't diminish!
-Now that I'm an adult, I've found this can also translate to my networking strategy. I view it as more of a case of knowing who to use a reference, and consequently I have kind of a disjointed & unreliable "network".
-Although I am able to grasp social cues and rules to a certain extent, I still find myself regularly getting confused, flustered, or (at worst) upset and enraged by ordinary everyday social situations.
-Small talk & general "socialite" chit-chat shuts my brain off faster than a boring math class. I feel like I have to have a good reason to initiate conversation with someone, whether it's a shared hobby or interest, something related to work or school, or the like. Even with people I know well enough to open up more to, I would MUCH rather talk about, say, the time I climbed Mt. Tallac than general office gossip. In a group setting, I have to always make a strong effort just to be able to maintain a foothold in the conversation when it drifts to some superficial topic I just don't care about, and I often find myself internally screaming "Wait, I wasn't done yet! Don't change the subject!!!" My Mom tells me I can have a stifling presence because of this.
-I had a thrill-seeker phase in high school and early college. I grew to really like roller coasters a lot and even went skydiving once. Nowadays I'm not as into that stuff, but I still have fond memories of it. I saw it mostly as a way of trying to distinguish myself or "prove" my bravery, if you could call it that.

Unsure/general Introversion?

-It's not that I'm unfriendly, I always try to hold the door for people, drive courteously on the road, speak politely and consider others feelings, and stuff like that - it's that I have always felt continually over-stimulated. My general attitude when interacting with strangers, co-workers, and the like is "Have a nice day, somewhere else." I'm easy to get along with, but actually making friends is almost impossible for me.
-Although I did feel kind of guilty about it, I decided not to walk at my college graduation, wanting to forgo all the screaming and air horns for a more "private" celebration with my family and a hard-earned vacation to the Big Island of Hawaii to get away from it all.
-One of my biggest life missions, which I have just accomplished, was to move out of Texas and to Colorado or Oregon or some other place with alpine forest geography similar to what I knew and loved from growing up in Tahoe. Ever since moving there at the age of 11, I had always felt like almost nothing about Texas suited my character, and I especially hated the "I'm better than you because I was born here" attitude of a lot of the residents. Conservative politics was just the icing on the cake. (BTW, I ended up moving to Denver because that was where my job offer happened to be)
-I'm super shy around females because I feel like trying to talk to a lady I have a strong romantic interest in is almost like answering the $1 Million question on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. It could go really well and be a life-changing experience, or I could be terribly humiliated and/or find out a disturbing truth about them. Is this one of the ironies of having sx (that high risk, high reward mentality) or a telltale sign of sx-blind?

And last but not least, here are a few selfies of me: Imgur: The magic of the Internet
(I've heard that some people can often tell which stacking somebody is just by looking at their default facial expressions)
 

xenaprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2011
Messages
4,948
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I liked the game show analogy, haha. :)

I'm not an expert about stacking by any means, but to me you sound like an sp/sx. I'm the same, and can very much relate to the network issue. I'd still recommend trying to develop a superficial/business facade, though. It's a skill that will continually come in handy at parties, meetings, etc.

I think the game show feeling might just be self-consciousness. It's not easy to be an INFP fellow, with the societal expectation to 'make the first move'. Thankfully, that kind of thing is less prevalent today than 50 yrs ago, but still. I'd maybe try practicing on people (even guys) where the strong interest isn't there. Then work yourself up gradually where the interest is there. Baby steps! :)
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I’m not as familiar with the heart triad as I am head triad. I’ll get back to you on this.
 
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