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[sx] Sx-doms, how often do you have crushes?

ugghh

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I'm already working on my third crush in the past 12 months. I'm curious about whether there is a correlation between being sx-dom and easily getting crushes and falling in love?
 
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I’m really starting to think I am one.

That being said- I don’t care to expound on it.
 

Starry

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I already love this thread.


[MENTION=33707]Population: 1[/MENTION] your post... that... thank you. That post makes me happy.





It takes so much for me to fall I don't... I don't really know what a crush even is. I mean, sx doms are looking for INTENSITY and DEPTH (I totally don't know why I just put all caps on but I'm leaving it)... so if *crush* means lighthearted romantic interest that's a super fun preoccupation and in many ways has more to do with the crusher's entertainment and distraction than it does building something powerful with another person... then no. I would then say...stardate 3-9-2018...sx doms and sx dominance...still greatly misunderstood.

sx dom is basically the opposite of a serial crusher
 

Luminous

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sx dom is basically the opposite of a serial crusher

More like the-feelings-are-so-deep-and-intense-they-last-for-decades-even-without-reciprocation?
 
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Well, it does seem like my romantic interest is always focused toward someone. If there isn't anyone currently, then it might get focused on someone from my past or on a fictional character.

ETA: I should add that this doesn't mean I'm always actually with someone. On the contrary, I can go through long periods of being single, but it seems like even during that time, my Sx drive naturally wants to attach itself to something, even if that's a completely made-up character in a book or TV series I become a little obsessed with or something like that. Sometimes a close friendship can satisfy my Sx instinct, too, but if I'm attracted to that person, I usually end up wanting more.
 

Norrsken

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What's a crush? I only ignore, befriend, or love someone so madly that I end up like a yandere.
 

Galena

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Not very often, and romantic interest, while it is there, is not the be all end all of it. If they end up being unavailable, it doesn't bother me because what it'really about at the core is just an especially intimate feeling of goodwill for them. The important thing is that wonderful things happen for them, whether I have anything to do with those things.
 

Lady Lazarus

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Almost never. I pretend I have them though for other reasons. Sometime ago I recall reading a piece of criticism on Wuthering Heights that mentioned that Bronte's characters do not love each other for shallow reasons like beauty or intelligence or even because they find each other admirable or even pleasant, but because they feel a sense of affinity for one another. And that is exactly why I have loved the few people I have. When people who are not the person I love feel something for me, I feel something like furious and bitter. I have to control myself to keep from doing things that would be only incomprehensible to others and therefore unfair. It feels invasive and bothersome. It hurts in a strange way, to think most other people work in the way they do. It seems so wrong.

The person I love, undoubtedly has changed me. The very few people I have ever loved, they all have. I don't feel compelled toward anything until I feel affinity, everything organizes itself around that. I know that I do not do the same thing to the people I have loved as they do to me, so, I try to become the paragon of what they want for them. I try to become everything and more. It is all I can do to at least convey a semblance of what I experience for them.

I don't emotionally understand how anyone could cheat on their partner because I can't even really notice people who aren't the one I have affinity with. I attempt to have things like crushes so I can pretend I am not like the lines that only move into the vanishing point on the horizon.
 

chickpea

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i’m a serial monogamist even when it comes to my crushes! one intense, long-lasting crush at a time. and when it’s over, it’s very over. /venus in taurus
 

bluejay

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I go thru long periods of obsessions for people but I also feel chemistry on various levels with diff guys. I also assume 'the one' will feel entirely different, like I will know... it's not crush or intimacy it's something entirely else. Twin flame of sorts...
 

Totenkindly

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More like the-feelings-are-so-deep-and-intense-they-last-for-decades-even-without-reciprocation?

... yeah, there it is. ;)
I don't really "crush" much in the transitory sense.


I dunno. My sx is balanced by a pretty strong sp, so then I get into a crappy solitary existence where there are people I feel intensely about but because of life constraints I just end up living with them in my head more than burning a lot of energy to interact and not wanting to invade their space esp if life has taken them in other directions.
 

Snow as White

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crushes were so difficult. i am choosy af and my attraction meter is basically --> [Not interested --------------------------------------------------------------- Here, I have created a mansion for you to live rent free in my head for the next 1-5 years. Hope you like crumpets!] wherein the dashed lines are not a spectrum but the abyss between the two.
 

Red Memories

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i’m a serial monogamist even when it comes to my crushes! one intense, long-lasting crush at a time. and when it’s over, it’s very over. /venus in taurus

hello yes XD
 

Forever

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very rare, even unrequited I suppose. :cry:

However, that doesn't mean I don't get lust hits about a lady.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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Yes and no.

It's more like I get these...obsessions. Often involving someone completely unobtainable (eg, historical figure, film/novel character, imaginary person), usually for some ultra-attractive (imo) quality of character or their "presence". Usually in my preferred gender of sexual choice. And then I have to research, investigate, dream about, BECOME that person. Until it burns itself out and/or I find something new to obsess over. I say something, because it's not always a person. For example, one time I obsessed over the concept of Japanese Geisha for months. One other time, it was...vitamins (?). It's more marked by its obsessive quality and need for merging than it is by sexual attraction.

And it changes every few days to every few months. Whenever the next flame comes to my attention. I literally mark my life by who/what I was obsessing over at the time. Depression can drown it, though.

Crushes on real humans? No. They don't even come close. Mundane ordinary humans with all their non-awesome qualities. Those are people with whom I can "work on a relationship". But I find it almost disgraceful to sell my soul to another human being like that. Obsessing over some guy. Falling all over myself. Because "this time it's special". GROSS. Fools. I won't have it. I've been attracted to people before, but never once had the need to obsess.

Other humans simply aren't the higher quality thing I wish to complete me. I'm starting to come to terms with that now when look at my unhappy relationship history.
 
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