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  1. #1
    Gryffindor Prefect OneLovelyAdventure's Avatar
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    Default sx/sp or sx/so? (3w2)

    I always thought I was sx/sp, but now I'm not so sure and I'm thinking I might be sx/so. I have a a few reasons for why I think I am each type, and I'd like to share those reasons in order for you all to help me. (I'm 3w2, by the way.)

    First off, I'm pretty sure I'm sx-first. I'm very passionate, emotional, and intense. Regarding why I always thought I was sx/sp, I think that's because I always have to put on this image of self-sufficiency and independence, an image I value so highly that it makes me withdraw from other people. I also intensely value alone time and get more easily frustrated with people's nuanced shortcomings than most. I abhor the idea of revealing deep weaknesses to others and I want to be strong.

    On the other hand, I could be sx/so because I'm also incredibly goofy and I adore parties and being social -- especially when I look good and attract the attention of others. I am very happy and content when I'm with my friends and I love doing light-hearted and fun things with them, making them laugh and being the center of attention; the problem is when things get too deep and people start to see my flaws. I'm sort-of okay getting a little bit deep and vulnerable with those closest to me, but it still feels uncomfortable. I love goofing off and having fun. To me, friends are people you have fun with, not talk about personal stuff with -- that personal stuff is for my head and my head only, for me to deal with, because no one can help me better than I can help myself. I consider myself a genuinely happy person and I'm always happiest when I'm with other people. My favorite thing is when I am with people, having fun, enjoying myself, looking good, and having so much fun that my true emotions are temporarily masked.

    I know a lot of this might sound contradictory, so please let me know if you need more explanation. Thanks!
    "You can't help respecting anybody who can spell 'Tuesday,' even if he doesn't spell it right, but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling 'Tuesday' simply doesn't count." -- Winnie the Pooh

    ENFP 3w2-7w6-8w7 sx/so
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Carpe Vinum's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OneLovelyAdventure View Post

    On the other hand, I could be sx/so because I'm also incredibly goofy and I adore parties and being social -- especially when I look good and attract the attention of others. I am very happy and content when I'm with my friends and I love doing light-hearted and fun things with them, making them laugh and being the center of attention; the problem is when things get too deep and people start to see my flaws. I'm sort-of okay getting a little bit deep and vulnerable with those closest to me, but it still feels uncomfortable. I love goofing off and having fun. To me, friends are people you have fun with, not talk about personal stuff with -- that personal stuff is for my head and my head only, for me to deal with, because no one can help me better than I can help myself. I consider myself a genuinely happy person and I'm always happiest when I'm with other people. My favorite thing is when I am with people, having fun, enjoying myself, looking good, and having so much fun that my true emotions are temporarily masked.

    I know a lot of this might sound contradictory, so please let me know if you need more explanation. Thanks!
    Enjoying parties is not necessarily a sign of SO variance. Any variant can enjoy socializing, even the SP.

    It's more a matter of mindset and motivation. SO types think in terms of mutual survival. That's why social status means a great deal to them, and they're often involved in civic/community life (beyond parties). If I recall, SO's are more willing to be self-sacrificing for the needs of the group in the hope that it will be reciprocated.

    The question is, what do you get out of parties? If you're just going for the experience and to show off, I'd say that's more of SX motivation. (And from what you wrote, it sounds like that). If it's to build a network, become a part of a group, etc. that would be more SO, I think.
    NOSCE TE IPSUM. "Know thyself."

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    I guess I don't think socializing in isolation is enough to be so; personally I think that so instinct is the one that sort of tells us we "need people"--though as I got into on another thread, the word NEED might just fit better with self-preservation-- at a very basic level. This can involve a sensitivity to social structures, to be included (NOT NECESSARILY in a traditional group -- for example, some social 5 portraits talk of 5s, which tend to experience isolation, finding a highly esoteric group to associate with/relate to), yes socializing is another thing, and just in general, the instinct to be "Cultured" strikes me as a so thing (so this can invoke an impulse to be intellectual in some).

  4. #4
    Senior Member Neokortex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneLovelyAdventure View Post
    First off, I'm pretty sure I'm sx-first. I'm very passionate, emotional, and intense. Regarding why I always thought I was sx/sp, I think that's because I always have to put on this image of self-sufficiency and independence, an image I value so highly that it makes me withdraw from other people.
    If I'd want to do this the "cut-the-corner" type of Enneagram 3 way, I'd say you've already given it away there.
    Since 3 is also supposed to be an "image" type, then perhaps a question is how much "social" there is in your methods to portray a particular image? Sx/Sps, Sp/Sxs tend to be off-beat with trends, culture, society.

    I also intensely value alone time and get more easily frustrated with people's nuanced shortcomings than most. I abhor the idea of revealing deep weaknesses to others and I want to be strong.
    My 6w7 doesn't. I actually have a difficult time in phasing back to being okay with being lonely. What I've found is that introvert social subtypes allow themselves to be lonely easier since they know they can rely on people later. On the other hand I'm in a constant pursuit to find that one person that accepts me. My w7 makes me believe that there're always possibilities untried and pushes me (perfectionism 1?) to try harder despite being exhausted.

    On the other hand, I could be sx/so because I'm also incredibly goofy and I adore parties and being social -- especially when I look good and attract the attention of others. I am very happy and content when I'm with my friends and I love doing light-hearted and fun things with them, making them laugh and being the center of attention; the problem is when things get too deep and people start to see my flaws. I'm sort-of okay getting a little bit deep and vulnerable with those closest to me, but it still feels uncomfortable. I love goofing off and having fun. To me, friends are people you have fun with, not talk about personal stuff with -- that personal stuff is for my head and my head only, for me to deal with, because no one can help me better than I can help myself. I consider myself a genuinely happy person and I'm always happiest when I'm with other people. My favorite thing is when I am with people, having fun, enjoying myself, looking good, and having so much fun that my true emotions are temporarily masked.
    This part smells like you're already trying to appeal to us. Probably the 3 as your strategy is not the one you're self-conscious of, in a sense that it is so much out there, the smooth composition, nicety in a socially tactful way that it's probably something you value instead. Which means you may not be a core 3w2. Instinct wise you don't seem to push the envelope so far on being cool. It's the 7's exhibitionism that's active which works very similarly to me (w3 fueling my w7), that's what you have on display instead of 3's opulence. If people are the ones who intimidate you instead the other way, then it appears you have an So/Sx 7. Sx first is way more assertive.

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