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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Blindspots: Last Instincts

magpie

Permabanned
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
Messages
3,428
Enneagram
614
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
What is your neglected instinct?

sp.

How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

I think it manifests mostly as a lack of attention and interest paid to practical matters in life, such as finances, bureaucracy, and other things that help you survive in the real world. I will know everything there is to know about a specific topic but have no idea how financial factors play in and therefore be missing out on a huge part of the picture.

Also, the usual sp last stuff, like not being able to stay on any sort of schedule, following my whims to the detriment of my health, and pushing myself extremely hard physically or mentally when I know I can't handle it.

How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

Um... I think I answered that above. I think sp last may make it difficult for me to understand other people's boundaries, though I still try and respect them.

If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

I've become more attentive in order to better take care of my health and it's been useful.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
What is your neglected instinct?

sx

How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

I don't really have many close friends... and I don't feel comfortable opening up to people, even those closest to me... I guess I miss out on a lot of closeness I could have, even in my own relationship

How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

it used to, but people have given up and accepted that I'm me

I'm with another sp first and we each have our own rooms in the house to spend our time in and our bedroom that we share... we've worked with the fact that we need our space

I've had people in the past who have not been as accepting of my need for space... which is why they're in the past now

If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

I've tried to let people get closer to me... it takes a lot of effort and makes me uncomfortable, but I have tried :(
 

Smilephantomhive

Active member
Joined
Aug 11, 2015
Messages
3,352
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
But you do have an Enneagram 8, don't ya? Yesterday it was still on your tag, along with showing "ISTP."

my tag? I thought 8 was in my tritype once, but idk anymore; i'm not action oriented enough tbh. But what do uou mean by "showing istp?"
 
Joined
Apr 24, 2016
Messages
1,659
What is your neglected instinct?

So, I think. I still have doubts because I can relate to each of them pretty equally. However, I'd guess so comes a tad after sp and sx.

How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

I'm totally unaware of most current pop culture and don't care to indulge myself in it either. I pretty much live under a rock. I am also horrible at networking and making acquaintances with others. I've had social anxiety for pretty much my whole life, so it seems only natural why I wouldn't desire being around large crowds of people.

I think I was much more so-dominant when I was younger though, as I was more aware of cultural norms back then and desired to be a part of a certain group of people despite my shyness. I've always dreamed of being a part of something larger, maybe being famous and admired for my talents and still do I'm embarrassed to admit, but I'd assume that could also be my 3 wing in my enneagram. I've noticed this sort of came spiralling down when I became a junior in high school and just said "fuck it." I guess I had a bit of an "awakening" and chose to stop paying close attention to cultural norms because deep down I realized I just didn't care as much. This was around my "finding myself" period when I was finally able to come to terms with who I was and being totally fine with it. I've stopped caring as much about high school culture and the kids who went there. I never attended any events including prom because I saw them as useless social gatherings and stupid, mindless acts of conformity that never really appealed to me anyway. I was the cynical kid who always rooted against the home team because I hated school and wanted out ASAP. Yeah, I was a sad piece of work back then.

I guess I fail to be adventurous and actually go out socializing often like normal people my age do. I've always thought something was wrong with me for that reason, but I've come to terms with my individuality now and just accept myself for who I am. I have other things that are a bigger priority in my life at the moment, although sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on life and worry I'll be one of those old folks on their rocking chair looking back on their life as they gaze over the horizon in deep regret about things they've never done before. Living in the moment is not my forte.

How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

It's always been difficult for me to establish connections with people and I just never cared to go out of my way and join organizations or anything. I'm pretty solitary and would rather do things on my own. I think a considerable part of it is because of my social anxiety and having bad experiences with people in general, so it makes sense why I stopped caring about other people as much.

If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

I'm not very cynical at all anymore and am more interested in getting out of my bubble and making networking connections with people now, even though it's more by force. I have come to understand it's something I must do in order to prosper in the workforce. I'm trying to conjure up a brand name for myself and establishing a social networking following in the near future, even though the very thought of it terrifies me. I'm hoping I can eventually get over my fear and become more social, even though it seems to be an unnatural pursuit for me at the moment.
 

geedoenfj

The more you know..
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
3,347
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Sx types love to brag about how they scare everyone away with their sxness, but I'm so unsx that I don't even notice their "scariness". No sx types scare me. I'm immune lol!

Oh I thought I am scary :unsure: now I don't know who I am anymore
 

Methylene

Now with more salt.
Joined
Oct 10, 2016
Messages
2,560
MBTI Type
LVEF
Enneagram
639
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
What is your neglected instinct?
Sx
How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?
I keep my relationships very superficial (also because I dislike expressing my feelings). I can't stand intimate relationships or one-on-one while my focus is all on big groups.
How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?
Being shy+inferior Fe+sx last= alone. Also, while sexual ESFPs are my favourite object of study, they also have been my major conflict source.
If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?
Still work in progress.
 

geedoenfj

The more you know..
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
3,347
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
You, scary? You are way too nice for that. Unless if it's all an act...

Well thank you, but now you see my problem, apparently some people are not scared of my sx because I'm also too nice..

Never mind I was rambling :laugh: have a great day :heart:
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
What is your neglected instinct? so

How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

Using accepted society standards - I'm sure I have missed out on social experiences that others deem "enjoyable" or "important". I don't see it that way, never have. I have a few close friends, I do social things with them and occasionally participate in huge group activities, meeting new people. That's very recent and even with that I sometimes need to push myself to do it.

How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

My ENFJ isn't a high E and doesn't seem to need frequent interaction with people. He is energized when those situations come up, he just doesn't look for them. He also seems to like more intimate gatherings, same as I do. This makes us pretty evenly matched and doesn't cause negative issues. People who find my disdain for a lot of social things a problem, are not my problem. I truly don't care.

If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

I have paid more attention to so - I have to. I often weigh the pros and cons of anything I want to participate in. If I find it important enough, even being so last isn't going to get in my way. Is it uncomfortable at times? Sure but I'm grown up enough to overcome it. And my ENFJ has social-y things as part of his job sometimes so that probably played a role in me developing my so.
 

Neokortex

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2016
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
my tag? I thought 8 was in my tritype once, but idk anymore; i'm not action oriented enough tbh. But what do uou mean by "showing istp?"

Next to "MBTI:" you had ISTP instead of ISTJ.
 

Neokortex

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2016
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Was this a long time ago? I may have put that in the past, but have changed my mind.

I dunno, I saw it two weeks ago, perhaps? Before I suggested Skyping I too a glance on the sidebar info. I'm sure I remember ISTP.
 

Smilephantomhive

Active member
Joined
Aug 11, 2015
Messages
3,352
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I dunno, I saw it two weeks ago, perhaps? Before I suggested Skyping I too a glance on the sidebar info. I'm sure I remember ISTP.

It was definitely not istp two weeks ago.
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Sx types love to brag about how they scare everyone away with their sxness, but I'm so unsx that I don't even notice their "scariness". No sx types scare me. I'm immune lol!

I'm starting to notice something like this about sx last people. At least online. Irl it could be different.

As for the OP:
What is your neglected instinct?

Social.

How do you see this play out in your life? What do you neglect, miss out on, or fail to do because of it?

I haven't really thought all of this out in depth, so i'm just spilling what comes to mind and talking it out here.

-It's hard for me to distinguish "neglecting so'ness", from "neglecting small talk."
-I don't really care for the steps required in talking to many so dom/aux people.
-It feels like i can't get to my point without going through all the social steps of saying "hi, how are you." then waiting to see how they are, in order to just know whether i can bring my point up or not.
-Some people are less narrow about this thankfully, but i can get very impatient with this sort of thing and I definitely neglect those steps because of that.

-The other side of it is that I don't construct or use a separate social identity that portrays an image of me
-I've heard other so doms/aux say that they do this, and this is just very foreign to me. Interesting though for sure.

How might this cause issues and negatively affect relationships with people in your life?

-I'm either too much or too little for some people. There's not really an in between for me. And I kind of like it like that. But it does have an impact on my relationships.
-Often online, if people don't think I'm "too much" then we get along easily. Which is probably what I'm referring to with the quote [MENTION=25892]Smilephantomhive[/MENTION]. I don't think that sx lasts thing sx is "too much."
-Irl people are the other way. I don't want to engage and it's too little for them to go off of. And I like it like that.

If you've tried to be more attentive to your last instinct, do you think it has helped you to grow?

-I have tried.
-I tried to construct some sort of social identity when i was first told about it, but that was very difficult for me. Too many unanswered questions that I'm not patient enough to care to attend to.
-Something that I have been trying, and that has worked recently, is that I just tell myself that "things will either work out or they wont with people." Instead of trying to forge a bond with them or go full hibernation mode, I tell myself that it's ok if we don't connect today, and that there's always tomorrow. It's very anti-sx for me to do this though, so it is somewhat conflicting.
-It's helped me be more patient though and doesn't leave me feeling any sort of worry about my relationships.
 
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