• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[so] So/sx or sx/so?

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Valuing objectivity is, I think, more an indication of psychological maturity than linked to instinctual variant. It might be, for all I know, but in my readings on it, there doesn't seem to be any meaningful link.

You could be an sx/so and link up your Swiss-ness to Fe/INFJ and 5 wing. I know sx/so types who are situational peacekeepers; what makes them sx/so vs so/sx is how they approach the conflict.

sx/so has a "fuck it" energy, they're gamblers. If an sx/so steps into a conflict situation involving their friends, but in which they're an outsider, their role as mediator is not really going to look that way, unless they do it professionally or something. They're more likely to be "on the side" of the conflict energy itself, seeing it as something natural and maybe necessary. It really does come down to "fuck it" with sx/so, though their expression of the instinct really depends on the specifics. They might say, "Just let it go/let it be" rather than "fuck it," for example. They're more likely peacekeepers in situations they feel merit peacekeeping. A dying cause, they'll simply nudge along the death process.

so/sx has a "let's see how we can all cooperate through this together" energy; more nimble. They have a goal of cooperative resolution, but it won't appear so clinical on the outside. An so/sx entering a conflict situation would bring an amiable energy to it, and might even contribute to calming things down to a lower level of struggle. They'll inject lightness and their goal would probably be to get the warring parties involved in interaction to diffuse the conflict. In a scenario where an sx/so would feel it best if the parties when their separate ways, an so/sx would find a parting of ways to be upsetting.

sx/so: bloodletting
so/sx: dialysis

:ninja:

I relate to both. There are sometimes where I can completely detach and entirely ignore the consequences and I'm like "fuck it". I don't remember the exact last time of me doing it though. But it's there. :ninja:

Yes letting go of anyone who I bonded well with is uncomforting, if it's from their terms though.

But my ex I detached quick from her, but of course did it politely but I knew I had no feelings for her. My cold Ti kicked in.
 

Masokissed

Spoiled Brat 🍒
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
941
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
sx/so makes enemies, so/sx makes friends.
 

Tomb1

Active member
Joined
Jun 15, 2011
Messages
994
the main difference is that so/sx is driven to try and convert the smaller bonds they have with people into one big bond...they do this, in part, by trying to build bonds between you and others they already have a bond with. some so/sx will share socially relevant information about you in the belief that they are building a connection between you and that other person. in that sense, they have a good radar for things about people that have social value. They sometimes try to lock the big bond in through a theme/goal/ambition where self-interest is cast aside in favor of something harmonious. They are bigger on sentiment in that respect and like having an ideal to rally around. More assertive so/sx will be leaders that way, less assertive ones wanting to get washed up in the tide. sx/so is a lot more possessive of the people they bond with and not as keen on sharing. they want to intensify the connection, not dilute it into the larger social ether. so/sx has social aims to further, so in their process of bonding to somebody so/sx will also try to get that person up to dial socially ("look out for that guy over there. he's just looking for a big score.") and they have sharp antennae for what's going on socially and a desire to steer people in one direction or another, or towards one group and away from another. that undertow is not present in the stages of bonding for sx/so. when the so/sx is around you will usually notice people hanging around with each other that would otherwise never hang out. on the flipside, once the so/sx gets removed groups can fall apart pretty quick.
 

Venus Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2016
Messages
324
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I totally agree, and from an animal/ social animal perspective, I think it's really great that it pulls that in. It sort of..ties it together in a more naturalistic/holistic perspective imo.

Edit: also when I first joined, I would get aggravated by the people who over-insisted on sex appeal /sexual aspect for sx dom, it's like..you guys really think sx-last aren't interested or don't equally enjoy and like intensity in that realm? lolz. I don't see most of that super stereotyping much anymore though, many sx doms on here have stressed how that's not really what it's about.

SX first doesn't necessarily mean someone is more "sexy," so superficial analysis of how they are all seemingly exuding sex all the time really gets on my nerves. We are also human, not "god-like" or anything like that lol. SX-doms are only "intense" when they are into something, otherwise we all have to live our lives just like anyone else. And some really don't have that intensity in their eyes necessarily, it's more so in their postures and mannerisms.

But yes anyone can want to be, and may put attention into appearing "sexy" but for differing reasons. It is more important to tease out the underlying motivations, where their attention is going to, what they are preoccupied by, when it comes to stacking; instead of this over-emphasis on how they are all seemingly shooting sex out of their eyes, and other generally dramatic descriptions.
 

Venus Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2016
Messages
324
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
SX first doesn't necessarily mean someone is more "sexy," so superficial analysis of how they are all seemingly exuding sex all the time really gets on my nerves. We are also human, not "god-like" or anything like that lol. SX-doms are only "intense" when they are into something, otherwise we all have to live our lives just like anyone else. And some really don't have that intensity in their eyes necessarily, it's more so in their postures and mannerisms.

But yes anyone can want to be, and may put attention into appearing "sexy" but for differing reasons. It is more important to tease out the underlying motivations, where their attention is going to, what they are preoccupied by, when it comes to stacking; instead of this over-emphasis on how they are all seemingly shooting sex out of their eyes, and other generally dramatic descriptions.

I am beginning to really see how Fe ignoring manifests in my actual behavior...
 
Top