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Thread: So/sx or sx/so?

  1. #21
    Digital ambition Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by florpoetis View Post
    In what way?
    Your avatars, your signature, music you like, temper ... etc. As I said I don't know you well but you strike me more as a Sx-dom.

  2. #22
    fragment Lia_kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virtual ghost View Post
    Your avatars, your signature, music you like, temper ... etc. As I said I don't know you well but you strike me more as a Sx-dom.
    Got ya. Thanks for your input. I have to agree with you on that one.
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  3. #23
    fragment Lia_kat's Avatar
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    @cascadeco , thanks for your help. Below I bolded the parts I connect with the most. You seem very knowledgeable and I would appreciate your input.

    Self/Sexual

    This subtype also cares very much about their surroundings and their possessions. They feel as if these things help to express who they are. There is more of a passionate sense about them as compared to the self/soc. They have more of a sensual relationship with their environment. These Fours are much more tortured by their difficulty with respect to maintaining close relationships. The self-preservational instinct tends to be in conflict with the sexual instinct, causing this subtype to habitually analyze their relationships to the point where they find it difficult to be present to them. When unhealthy, these Fours can become very disdainful of the social environment. They also start to envy the ease with which others seem to form relationships and maintain friendships. When Fours of this subtype are healthy, they find that they can form relationships without feeling as though they are sacrificing authenticity. They no longer feel that they have to automatically define themselves as “different from others,” as outside the group. They are able to see the ways in which their emotionality might cloud their better judgment and to use that insight to establish equilibrium.
    Social/Self-pres

    This subtype can mimic type One when it comes to social values. They can be harsh critics of the current mores. They have romantic ideals of what the world should be like; reality always falls short. Ironically, this type can be the most withdrawn of the Fours. Social anxiety combines with the Four’s shame issues to make this type feel that the pressure associated with “fitting in” is just not worth it. They are also the most likely of the Fours to intellectualize their emotions and in this way resemble type Five.

    The social instinct tends to give the personality a focus on being included, fitting in, or finding a way to make a valued contribution. This agenda conflicts with the Four’s sense of being “different from” or “other than.” The Four’s need to establish a separate identity conflicts with the social instinct’s drive towards inclusion. The social Four often deals with this dilemma by defining themselves as being outside the social system. By defining themselves always in terms of the system, even if it is to establish distance, this Four stays essentially tied to it. Fours with the social/self-pres stacking tend to acutely feel a sense of social shame at not quite belonging.

    When this subtype is reasonably healthy, they are often gifted critics of the prevailing culture. They develop true insight into social dynamics and have an eye for the nuances and subtleties of social interactions. Many Four writers are soc/self.
    Social/Sexual

    This is overall the “lightest” type Four when it comes to social interaction. They are likely to utilize charm and humor. This type is more scattered and can be down right disorganized. They can drift through life always feeling like an outsider, yet they usually have friends. They can alternate from being the life of the party to withdrawing. Intimates will know of their insecurities and dark moody side while acquaintances will see a softer, friendlier side. This subtype’s energy is geared towards people, but they never feel as though they really fit in. They are often quite creative, talented people who have many interests, but they frequently lack the energy to actually accomplish what they would like. They can drift and withdraw very easily. When healthy and with the right support from friends (and perhaps a little push) they tap into their instinctual energy. When they do this, they begin to see how much they can accomplish. A positive connection to others helps them stay focused.
    Sexual/Self-pres

    This is a very volatile type. They are driven to form connections but have very high demands of their partners. When their powerful fantasies don’t match reality, they become very restless. They take the fire and passion of the sexual instinct and turn it inward. This can cause both brooding and fiery outbursts. Dramatic mood swings are very likely with this type. This subtype of Four could be considered the most classic Four, because of the way they seem to embody the archetype of the tortured artist, although not all Fours of this subtype are artists. Stereotype aside, this subtype does tend to bring their emotions into focus more readily then the other subtypes of Four. What is under the surface with the self-pres/sexual is now bubbling to the surface. This subtype can resemble type Seven because of their drama, passion for experience and tendency to suffer from frustration when life seems dull. Like type Seven, they can seem to throw themselves into experience.

    When healthy, this subtype learns to balance the need for passion with the less obvious need for groundedness which can come from solid and focused relationships with others and with their creative outlets.
    That last part is huge. I desire so much experience and excitement in my life or activities that I'm often dissappointed.

    Sexual/Social

    This subtype is able to connect with others and with life itself, but always with an undertone of volatility and a tendency to dramatize. They are the most involved and connected of the subtypes of Four. They can go from relationship to relationship, seemingly tortured by each one. They are the most driven of the subtypes of Four to express themselves publicly and type Four celebrities are commonly found with this stacking. This subtype has a real difficulty remaining grounded, partly due to the undeveloped self-pres instinct. Although they can appear almost Eight-like at times with their lust for life and desire for passionate experience, they lack the focus of the Eight and the instinctual energy that would keep them grounded. Sometimes alcohol or substance abuse can be a problem. These Fours become more healthy when they learn to control their impulsivenss and focus their energies.
    Here's a description of myself I wrote in one of the threads that goes a little deeper: Describe yourself . Right now I'm leaning towards Sx-dom...

    Thank you also to everyone else who has commented!!
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  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by florpoetis View Post
    ... Or something else entirely? The so/sx description resonates with me a lot but I've been browsing other threads in this section and now I'm not so sure. I've also noticed most 4w5s don't tend to be so-dominant. So I'm curious.

    Is there a more definitive way to find out? Certain preferences? Any questions I can ask myself that would help?
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  5. #25
    fragment Lia_kat's Avatar
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    Thanks for the link, I read it! See the post above you
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  6. #26
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    Well it seems you're probably either so/sx or sx/sp. I think we can rule out the others. Based on your earlier descriptions of yourself in the thread though, I lean towards so/sx, but you seem to think you're on the volatile side, so I'm not sure. But then you related to almost nothing of sx/so, so that makes me really question sx dom for you. Re what you related to strongly in sx/sp, I will say that I too get really restless too when life becomes too routine and 'dull', and I love new things. I think some of that could be tied to 'P' (and for me, Se), so yeah, I'll say so/sx.

    If you think you're sx dom though, I'd strongly look at sx/sp, since you didn't identify at all w/ the sx/so description.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by florpoetis View Post
    Thanks for the link, I read it! See the post above you
    I know.

    The site is really old but kind of hard to find.
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  8. #28
    Senior Member D'Ascoyne's Avatar
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  9. #29
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by D'Ascoyne View Post
    Cool link, I think good points are raised for each instinct, I also like the de-emphasis on group stuff for so-dom, and de-emphasis on the purely material for sp, and it's educated me more on the instincts. I also think it further supports my being sx last (and elements of stereotypical sx I think I fit can easily instead be linked to my mbti type; also as notes point out, we all can experience elements of our third instinct)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #30
    Senior Member D'Ascoyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Cool link, I think good points are raised for each instinct, I also like the de-emphasis on group stuff for so-dom, and de-emphasis on the purely material for sp, and it's educated me more on the instincts. I also think it further supports my being sx last (and elements of stereotypical sx I think I fit can easily instead be linked to my mbti type; also as notes point out, we all can experience elements of our third instinct)
    The more I read about the instincts the more confused about them I became. Most of the definitions and usage of the instincts are stuck on the superficial: sexual with sex and sex appeal, social with sociability and networking, and self-preservation with strict materialist leanings. But there is an instinctual lean towards intent behind each instinct and the workshop notes resource actually addresses that. Not just useful but fascinating!
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