Turtle
New member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2014
- Messages
- 45
- Enneagram
- 6
- Instinctual Variant
- so
I keep reading that SX-lasters find intimacy difficult, and that they connect with very few people on a deeper level partially due to their lesser need for connection. This hasn't been my experience with my ENTJ, who is a so/sp and a 3w4. He finds it difficult to connect with people on a deeper level (unless they are both talking about great ideas in computer science or some other topic related to hard science and/or math), and he is very reluctant to share the inner workings with his mind with just anyone. However, he was always very interested in who he felt he could "connect" with, and very aware of how well he connected with people. We were casual friends for about a month until one day we got into an extremely deep conversation that lasted for hours, and after that he locked on to me as someone he wanted to date (which I picked up on, even though he acted outwardly aloof about it until he was sure I felt the same way). We spent the next few months talking late into the night, every night. He fell in love with me very quickly (before we were even dating), and cites me as the first girl he truly connected with. Since then, EVERYTHING has been about "connection." Even in our current relationship, he places our "connection" over EVERYTHING else -- even physical intimacy. He would be perfectly content (and even prefer) snuggling and revealing the inner workings of his mind to me over doing anything physical. Even though he is a 3w4 and as an ENTJ, he keeps emphasizing how he wants to be authentic with me and reveal exactly how he works, even if it will "scare me." He is very intent on learning how I operate, and we typically get lost in conversation. To me, this is largely inconsistent with what I've read about so/sp. Don't get me wrong -- the sx-aux part of me (as a so/sx) loves the fact that he emphasizes our emotional connection over all else in our relationship. But if sx-lasters don't really place much emphasis on intimacy or deep connection, why does he seem to emphasize it above all else? For what it's worth, I do not think that he is anything other than so/sp.