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  1. #61
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SD45T-2 View Post
    I can be pretty antisocial and misanthropic, probably because I'm a 1 and have no Fe.
    Same here.

    This smiley was what I thought of too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    The issue I have with the way a lot of people describe social-doms and the social instinct is that it just doesn't seem to measure up to sp and sx descriptions. Not saying that sp and sx are described as "better" but that the sp and sx descriptions actually seem to discuss more the priorities of those instincts than the way they perceive their surroundings. Otoh, the social instinct just seems to be described as an "awareness" of how interpersonal dynamics are functioning in your surroundings and what things represent in a broader social context. I get how that can be prioritized (just as much as how I get sp creates an awareness of what your body wants, what needs to be done to ensure "security," etc), but the "core drive" of it doesn't seem to be touched on as much as the other two. I often see descriptions saying the social variant desires a sense of belonging, community, social alliances, etc but that just doesn't sound completely accurate to me.
    Oh, I'm so with you. I often argue for the "awareness" descriptor because it allows for both positive and negative social response (eg. being social or antisocial), but as you point out so well, it fails to really get to the heart of social instinct.

    I like creating new connections and bonding with people, the feeling of being included and having close friends to make me feel connected, and I do see that as one of my driving forces but the "awareness" that gets discussed is something I either sometimes have or other times completely lack. I forget to check in with others a lot, I really neglect how my actions impact my environment when taking action, and I kind of don't really scan my social environment at all sometimes. It doesn't seem to be something that really burdens my mind or anything, but at the same time I feel a lot more lighter and cordial for sx/so, and I seem to have more healthier attitude towards the sx instinct (at least in my mind anyway) so I'm not sure! I feel like the social instinct needs a lot of clarification haha.
    Yeah, I'm the same. I'm pretty crap at these things too. Social doms just aren't the sort of uber-Fe + e3 personalities they're often portrayed as. For me personally it's so much more about the theoretical connections and dynamics themselves, than the specific, individual parts (eg. like remembering people's birthdays), or even skills in the direct, practical application of this knowledge (eg. like being able to charm or influence others). The general descriptions don't have much room for that potential theoretical aspect, although some of the combined type and instinct descriptions do (like the Social 4 being the "social critic", which really clicks with me).

    I would say that search for security is a factor in all the instincts, because I see them as addressing factors perceived as being too much in flux and attempting to create stability through them. For the Sexual instinct, for example, is about the need for the security of a strong connection, because Sx-doms feel a sense of fragility in their bonds that they need to overcome. I guess I think of the central drive for the social instinct as some sort of desire for mastery over or reconciliation between interpersonal structures, forces, and dynamics (so that they don't seem so scary, shifting and unpredictable).

    To bring this back on topic (and just in case this wasn't clear), I think the point is that there are many Sp and So doms that don't understand their own instinct and end up mistyping as Sx. The point is the problem lies less with the Sexual instinct, and more with the problematic descriptions of Sp and So.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  2. #62
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I would say that search for security is a factor in all the instincts, because I see them as addressing factors perceived as being too much in flux and attempting to create stability through them. For the Sexual instinct, for example, is about the need for the security of a strong connection, because Sx-doms feel a sense of fragility in their bonds that they need to overcome. I guess I think of the central drive for the social instinct as some sort of desire for mastery over or reconciliation between interpersonal structures, forces, and dynamics (so that they don't seem so scary, shifting and unpredictable).
    Completely agree with your assessment. Solidified my idea of all three of the instincts, thank you! This reaffirmed so/sx > sx/so for me, since (while it certainly is something I try to handle) I don't let the fear of fragility in my relationships really burden my mind as much as I do grasping the structures and dynamics of the social realm because - yes, the social world really can seem scary and unpredictable to me. Which isn't surprising since I went from being home-schooled straight to public high school when I was 14. Makes me wonder how our instincts develop, biologically or through experience or otherwise. It is all just a theory (I haven't read any scientific research on the subject) so I guess there are a bunch of ways to explain how my priorities came to be.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  3. #63
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Focus? direction? Priorities? Never have they been my strong suits. I follow the wind
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  4. #64
    just a vessel EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    Focus? direction? Priorities? Never have they been my strong suits. I follow the wind
    The heck kind of SJ are you?!?
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

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  5. #65
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    The heck kind of SJ are you?!?
    Oops, I mean friends and family are my priority, nothing else
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  6. #66
    just a vessel EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    Oops, I mean friends and family are my priority, nothing else
    Much better.

    And don't forget your country!
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  7. #67
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Sx doms are so prominent in enneagram communities because there are a lot of NFP types on typology sites and they tend to be frequently SX doms.

  8. #68
    Member anastasiaromanova's Avatar
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    Sx doms are so prevalent on Enneagram forums because a lot of people on Enneagram forums are young and most young people want to be sx doms. Same as with E4. Both also involving misconceptions about what that might actually entail. Not saying anything that wasn't already said several times here other than adding in the age factor, but since this seems to now be pretty much a dead thread, I felt it was a shame for it to not be properly embalmed before burial.

    Typology forums attract lots of social firsts, and also lots of sp firsts, including sx lasts, that want to come out of their shell, as well as sx first. Potpourri. Should my modest post resurrect the thread, trust me, it would be pointless.

    Lastly there is no reason whatsoever to assume anyone's self-typing on an Internet forum is correct unless you either know them well or you know they were typed with a professional. And even then there is plenty of wiggle room...
    Likes Entropic liked this post

  9. #69
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I also wonder if sp/sx'ers don't self-mistype as sx-dom. I know I did, I feel like my sp-dom centers around keeping the sx in check, feeling like it's the defining part of me.
    Tbh, a lot of people don't get the social instinct either. I see both so and sp doms with sx secondary mistype as sx. I actually did it the other way around, I first mistyped as my blind spot (sp/sx) to figuring out I'm sx/so. Funny how that worked out.

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  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    If Sx doms were as common, people would see them more often irl.
    I don't think many would disagree that they meet/see Sx doms much less often than the other variants.
    I couldn't count on both my hands how often I've heard people say that they don't seem to meet/see Sx doms very often.
    I have never once, however, heard someone talk about all the Sx doms they're constantly running into or coming across.
    I think there's a reason to this simple and commonly expressed observation: cuz sx doms are indeed less common.
    Uhhh I don't think it's really that easy to "spot" an sx dom. Especially since the instincts work in accordance with your enneagram, so say, an sx 5 would look very different from an sx 4. Sx's are more likely to be attention grabbing, but that doesn't mean it's always obvious when a person is sx. Some people you look at, and you're sure they're sx. But I think there are a lot of people that you just can't tell are sx. I personally think the majority of people I know have sx in their top stackings.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I mean, compared to the self-preservational and social instincts, it's just really not that important.

    Or, better said, you just really don't need as many of them.

    The reason we're less common, anyway, imo, is cuz how fucking important is it to the survival of a tribe?
    No one is talking about the survival of a tribe. And being sx last, I think sx is actually really necessary to being a healthy person. Sx is important in so many ways- reproducing, having healthy relationships/ having close relationships at all, being able to open up to people, etc etc etc. How weird would it be if it was common for people to be uncomfortable in one-on-one interactions?



    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Don't let your " I need to be a snowflake" 4ness blind you here.
    Also, what are you talking about?? The 4 who said that is an sx-dom.

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