[sx] The other side of SX

[HongDou]

I think of it as more lusty, primal, instinctual, physical, what have you, in contrast with the other ENFP's in here who seem to consider it more spiritual, holy and mental merging.

Ooooh I see. Yeah, my guess would be the w6 vs w8.

 

[Lady_X]

I think of it as more lusty, primal, instinctual, physical, what have you, in contrast with the other ENFP's in here who seem to consider it more spiritual, holy and mental merging.

I don't see it as just selfish gratification, though. It's about satisfying lust, yes, but also being physically attuned to each other, losing inhibition and letting basic instinct rule you. Just completely submitting to your own and your partner's lust and being totally present in the moment. It's about connection for me too, just not emotional, but on a more basic level, which doesn't necessarily require sex with a long time partner. (Even though having sex with someone you know well makes it way easier to be comfortable and attuned to their desire.) I also realize that this could be the kind of idealized sex Sx 7's are prone too, just my 7w8 version, lol.

Words escape me when trying to pinpoint it exactly, but hopefully you understand what I'm getting at.



Thanks. This more or less aligns with what I was thinking.



Yeah, I didn't mean it literally. I was just trying to portray "typical ENFP sex" as more of an emotional, love making kind of thing.

right but what i'm saying is that it may not necessarily be that the sex is any different...only what drives that desire. how we feel about it, what needs to be in place before we get there or feel it....it's like it has to feel real...be real...i can't feel like ravishing you if i don't even get who you are or am not clear on how i feel about it.

 

[Hive]

right but what i'm saying is that it may not necessarily be that the sex is any different...only what drives that desire. how we feel about it, what needs to be in place before we get there or feel it....it's like it has to feel real...be real...i can't feel like ravishing you if i don't even get who you are or am not clear on how i feel about it.

Yeah, I get you.

It's just that I don't necessarily need to know you intimately to feel connected. It's more of a devotion to our instinct and lust in that moment. Like a "carnal intimacy", rather than knowing who you are, what you think, what you feel and so on. And that seems to be the primary difference between me and the other ENFP's here.

 

[Zarathustra]

Yeah, I get you.

It's just that I don't necessarily need to know you intimately to feel connected. It's more of a devotion to our instinct and lust in that moment. And that seems to be the primary difference between me and the other ENFP's here.

Yes, that, and then the difference in requirement/motivation also leads to a different quality in the sex.

When engaging in the more physical/hedonistic, less spiritual/romantic kind of sex, you sense it, you feel it, and it can be very fun.

It's also easier and more common, as it doesn't have this huge bulwark of requirements in order to engage in it -- all you need is lust.

I do think the heights of the spiritual/romantic kind of sex are the best, but they're less common and more difficult to achieve.

If I could break it down into how often I would prefer one or the other: hmm... interesting question to ponder... 70/30, maybe?

 

[Lady_X]

Yeah, I get you.

It's just that I don't necessarily need to know you intimately to feel connected. It's more of a devotion to our instinct and lust in that moment. Like a "carnal intimacy", rather than knowing who you are, what you think, what you feel and so on. And that seems to be the primary difference between me and the other ENFP's here.

yeah for sure...i get that. i definitely can't put that aside. it's not enough to be physically attracted to you.

 

[Starry]

Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, if any attitude regarding sex has puzzled me, it's the "let's make slow love on a bed of rose petals until we achieve unity with the cosmos" thing.

I've met some animalistic ENFP's, though. One ENFP chick I knew was very vocal about the dissatisfaction she had with her boyfriend who insisted on making love to her, rather than just fuck her.

haha rose petals. The fact that those things would be stuck all over our bodies could potentially diminish some of the *romance* for me...but it still sounds like great fun and so yes...I would do it.

"unity with the cosmos" <-that to me is a state of mind/connection rather than a place I expect to be transported to every time I have sex with my partner. I mean, I've seen other 7w6 sx individuals say "sex is sacred" (I may have even said this myself)... For me it would probably be more accurate to say that "the bond I have with my partner/the love we share is sacred." The only reason the sex is sacred is because the bond is sacred. I mean, I'm not putting myself into the same league as the ESFP here...no way am I that sexually awesome... but the sex I have can be just as kinky or animalistic as any other type MBTI/e-type haha and be sacred in my mind because of the bond. It's the bond not the sex.

I should say this though...that the first few times I have sex with someone I do kinda need that sex to be a little more *spiritual minus the rose petals* just because in my mind that's where and when this sacred bond sorta takes its final form <-and maybe that's where some of our reputation comes from? I mean, maybe the ESFP and the ENFP 2w3 or whatever can jump right into prostate stimulation or the Chinese basket haha idk but I wouldn't be able to do that so maybe...? But once bonded then it's just a matter of what fits our mood at the time. I'll never be a hard core porn star...but like what you described of your ENFP female friend above...I would be greatly dissatisfied if I was only ever *made love to cosmos style* that would be weird.

I'm an ENFP male, and I definetely think of sex as something carnal and "basic instinct" rather than spiritual and holy.

unsung...I want to hear how the 7w8 differs in this regard/from my experience above. This is actually really interesting to me now. I really appreciate it.

 

[Starry]

[MENTION=11809]unsung[/MENTION] ^^ you may have already answered this. I just logged on and accessed your post through mentions without checking so I'll read now...

 

[Zarathustra]

*googles Chinese basket*

 

[Zarathustra]

*looks forward to trying the Chinese basket trick*

 

[chickpea]

Who else would it affect?

A shockingly high number of prostitutes start out when they're around 13-14. Are poached from foster care, group homes, abusive situations by pimps who basically brainwash them and groom in order to exploit them for money.

Sure, there are women who just want the money and go into that industry with a clear head, but it's not that simple a lot of the time.

 

[Starry]

I think of it as more lusty, primal, instinctual, physical, what have you, in contrast with the other ENFP's in here who seem to consider it more spiritual, holy and mental merging.

I don't see it as just selfish gratification, though. It's about satisfying lust, yes, but also being physically attuned to each other, losing inhibition and letting basic instinct rule you. Just completely submitting to your own and your partner's lust and being totally present in the moment. It's about conne'mction for me too, just not emotional, but on a more basic level, which doesn't necessarily require sex with a long time partner. (Even though having sex with someone you know well makes it way easier to be comfortable and attuned to their desire.) I also realize that this could be the kind of idealized sex Sx 7's are prone too, just my 7w8 version, lol.

Words escape me when trying to pinpoint it exactly, but hopefully you understand what I'm getting at.



Thanks. This more or less aligns with what I was thinking.



Yeah, I didn't mean it literally. I was just trying to portray "typical ENFP sex" as more of an emotional, love making kind of thing.

After going through all of this I guess all I would be interested in knowing is do you ever experience the spiritual bonding side of sex...?

 

[HongDou]

A shockingly high number of prostitutes start out when they're around 13-14. Are poached from foster care, group homes, abusive situations by pimps who basically brainwash them and groom in order to exploit them for money.

Sure, there are women who just want the money and go into that industry with a clear head, but it's not that simple a lot of the time.

I still think that in that case they would be more worthy of compassion/a helping hand rather than people going around calling them amoral sluts.

 

[Hive]

After going through all of this I guess all I would be interested in knowing is do you ever experience the spiritual bonding side of sex...?

As fun and interesting as this discussion is, I'm afraid I have to log off for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow to answer this, though.

But thanks for your response, I greatly appreciate it.

 

[Starry]

*looks forward to trying the Chinese basket trick*

The Chinese basket is so fun.

 

[Starry]

As fun and interesting as this discussion is, I'm afraid I have to log off for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow to answer this, though.

But thanks for your response, I greatly appreciate it.

Thank so much unsung. Sleep well.

 

[Starry]

Oh whoops I really should say I've never done the Chinese basket.

 

[chickpea]

I still think that in that case they would be more worthy of compassion/a helping hand rather than people going around calling them amoral sluts.

Well yeah, I definitely agree with that. I just feel that a lot of people defend prostitution without considering that side of it.

 

[Zarathustra]

Oh whoops I really should say I've never done the Chinese basket.

I was gunna say...

Really Starry??

 

[HongDou]

Oh whoops I really should say I've never done the Chinese basket.

I have! I think...except the bottom wasn't cut out...and I was fully clothed...and there was no second penis...

 

[Starry]

I was gunna say...

Really Starry??

Wait what? Is it really bad? I'm going to Google it now...

and from that ascertain how prudish you believe me/7w6 sx is...