Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts So-last folks over the age of 25

[011235813]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting
- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.

 

[Rasofy]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting

I'm interested in politics, but since I know my vote per se won't change an election, I don't place much significance in the act. I don't get to abstain though, as voting is mandatory where I live.

On local elections, I'll sometimes copy my brothers' votes, as they are well connected and tend to know reliable candidates with a fighting chance.

- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)

- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

They usually suck, but I tend to make a few concessions to make people I care about happy. I don't like the idea of birthday parties, which I stated in a controversial thread that I made years ago.

 

[LadyLazarus]

Excluded due to the age card once again.

 

[011235813]

Excluded due to the age card once again.

Hey, I said you could respond if you wanted!

 

[LadyLazarus]

Hey, I said you could respond if you wanted!

I think people are starting to notice I don't actually read anything but the title.



Here goes:

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting

I feel like they are an exercise in futility and I care not for them, I feel like it doesn't really matter who wins, it'll be pretty much the same result in the end anyway.Overall, if it doesn't directly affect me, I don't care at all.

- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)

I enjoy Holidays if I am able to celebrate them with my close circle of immediate family, anything bigger than that and I am out. I detest large gatherings like festivals overall.

- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

Hmm...marriage.

 

[chickpea]

I was actually really excited the first time I got to vote. In 2008, I was still 17 so I had my mom let me vote for her in the primaries, and my dad gave me his vote for the main election.

Holidays I don't care much about but they're positive if I have good people and good food around. I don't mind festivals either because I love people watching. So I'm not really a participant but I can have a good time.

/23 and fuck yo rules

 

[FDG]

1. Yes, I do follow politics, but I'm more interested in local than national politics, since I believe the former have a direct impact on my life.

2. I like holidays because I don't see my family and long-time friends that much anymore, thus it's an occasion to stay with them, eat good food, have nice conversations, have fun overall. Obviously I love festivals, the joyous atmosphere, drinking, etc. what's not to like?

3. I'm not sure what you mean exactly. I don't attend mass since a long time. I like carnival and if I feel like it, I dress up.


I used to like holidays and festivals a lot less when I was younger, but since I now have to work a whole lot, they are indeed required to have fun and let loose once in a while.

 

[OrangeAppled]

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting
I think it's BS. I think it mainly serves to cause division among people & to distract them & make them feel like they did something (without doing anything really).

- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
Commercial, materialistic, meaningless. I like some actual spiritual rituals or personal/family traditions, but not big, national holidays. I'm okay with the party stuff (ie. eating & drinking, dressing up), but prefer to call it what it is & do it when you want to (obligation can suck all the fun out). I can be affected by the mood of these things, as I enjoy atmosphere & things being "special" with a buzz of increased activity in the air. But it's more of an aesthetic experience to me than a bonding one.

- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid
I find it easier to grasp what stuff means for others now, and am not eager to devalue it. But very little of it really affects me. Being easy-going, I will show to stuff I'm invited to, and as I said above, I can enjoy some aspects, but it doesn't MEAN much to me.

As a teen, I scorned & avoided pretty much all school functions - pep rallies, prom, games. I walked for my HS & college graduations for my family. I only allowed them to give me a HS grad party. I'm way more easy-going now. Since I don't care, it's not worth resisting.


- Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?
I've never had a strong need to be a part of something bigger than myself. I've wanted to maintain autonomy &/or merge with another individual, preferably romantically.

I do various volunteer work with an organized religious group now, but when younger I had little drive to participate in such things. I admit my main motivations initially were to broaden my social sphere to perhaps find a like-minded romantic partner & to DO something selfless related to my beliefs/values & for my emotional/spiritual well-being (that sounds a contradiction; it's not). I still don't feel a part of the group I work with, but an individual agent working with them.

I do enjoy feeling less isolated & having more of a social life because I'm connected to something organized (never experienced that in school or at work either; always a lone wolf or with one kindred spirit I'd glom onto). But it still has this impersonal feeling to me so that I don't find it satisfies any core need. It's not an end in itself, but a way to open up avenues to other ends.

When I was a kid, my extended family would have big dinners periodically & there would be gift-giving, just because. We'd also go apple-picking once a year & take a trip up the coast, which was fun. I like these family traditions, even as they were repetitive. It was more specific to our family & had meaning for us. I did feel a "part" of things too.... Yet, I don't really miss it or crave it even as I have fond memories.

 

[badger055]

Don't care about any of it. I would rather live in anarchy.

 

[SD45T-2]

Don't care about any of it. I would rather live in anarchy.

So move to Afghanistan.

 

[Lexicon]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting

I'm indifferent. I kinda glaze over when it comes to politics. It's outside the public's hands, imo. Big dog & pony show. Could call it cynical or jaded, but I just can't be bothered to care.

- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)

As most holidays are spent w/family, and mine's either dead or insane, I tend to just go through the motions, as the cheer feels forced and artificial in my environment. I enjoy these events independent of the crowds, in my own private way. No frills.

- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

I don't get out much, really unless it's something that piques my interest directly, like something involving the arts. Benefit shows and stuff like that appeal to me, and supporting local music/art. If that counts for anything.

Weddings/baby showers, and all that noise.. fortunately most of my friends don't give a damn about formalities & either skip it or don't want/ expect anyone but family around (since family is usually the driving force behind doing it to begin with).

Beyond all that, I tend to be off-radar when it comes to social/community stuff. I just don't feel like I 'need' it in my life that much, I guess.

Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.

I've enjoyed these experiences whenever I have the space and freedom to come & go as I please. Dip my feet in without being expected to jump in. Jump in, if I want, but hop out when I feel I've had enough, with minimal risk of my departure being mistaken for a slight.

 

[badger055]

So move to Afghanistan.

No I want first world anarchy.

 

[SD45T-2]

No I want first world anarchy.

"Everyone's an anarchist until they need drinking water."

 

[Lexicon]

"Everyone's an anarchist until they need drinking water."

^immediately came to mind

 

[five sounds]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting

meh, don't really care anymore. i used to try to, but it's all so pointless. i vote mainly for local proposals, like for keeping the museum open or something.

- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)

i like seeing people and good food. i also like the feeling that a day is special, getting dressed up, etc. other than that, i don't get very into the 'holiday' spirit for any holidays. not into decorating for the holiday or putting forth a lot of effort into making it happen. if left to my own devices, i'm sure i'd go very minimalist on holidays. but with family get togethers, i attend and am happy to bring a dish and hang out. i usually just end up talking to my sisters though...

- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

birthday parties, showers, weddings, things like that...i dunno. i like having something to do, an event to look forward to. but in practice, they're all kind of blah. the more formality the worse it is. if i can just dance and hang out, have some drinks and food and find a good convo, i'm in. if i'm sitting at a table with a smile on my face talking about "how things are going" or something, i'm looking to escape.

Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

if there's a friend there who i can connect with, i'm cool. or if there's music and dancing (that can be a substitute for a friend sometimes haha). other than that, the hoopla of most of these things is a turnoff. and being polite and smiling and smalltalking for hours at a time is killer. i usually just end up people watching and daydreaming. it's REALLY hard for me to stay engaged in those situations.

i think for me, it's very hot and cold. if i can engage in sx-mode, i'm all in. and i'm often hunting for ways to get my sx on. i can be complacent with sp mode (good food and drink) for a while, but it won't last long. the social stuff just doesn't do it for me though, and i totally switch off.

 

[Evo]

***voting and such

-Nope. Not really. I would ideally love to be involved...but that just sounds like a lot of work. And I pretty much don't like anything political. It's all a catch 22 with that. You get involved so that things stop being so political...but you have to be political to get involved You're fucked.

***holidays and such

-It's taken me all this time just to be able to appreciate holidays for what they are. I used to be, and will sorta kinda always be, a little stuck on the fact that holidays are all pretend. My whole family says their catholic. But they don't follow the religion. I don't know how someone is Catholic, when they don't follow the religion? It's like it's just for a title or image or something.

I wish we could just call holidays what they are. A vacation day to spend with the fams. Have some weird activities, and eat some good food. Fuck all the gd presents that we don't have money to buy. And fuck those stupid cards that you read for a fleeting second. Then either throw away or collect as clutter.

I just like food, wine, and dancing. And my family bonding moments are pretty awesome. I just wish we could quit it with all the pressure to uphold some tradition that makes no sense anymore.

***other

What five sounds said:

birthday parties, showers, weddings, things like that...i dunno. i like having something to do, an event to look forward to. but in practice, they're all kind of blah. the more formality the worse it is. if i can just dance and hang out, have some drinks and food and find a good convo, i'm in. if i'm sitting at a table with a smile on my face talking about "how things are going" or something, i'm looking to escape.

So in conclusion: Yes to bonding

But no to all the pressures.

And the pressures can sometimes out weight the benefits of bonding, for me.

 

[badger055]

^immediately came to mind

lol how did they know I would be at the movie theater

 

[brainheart]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting

I vote. My parents are so/sx and sp/so and very political so it's pretty engrained in me. (I vote completely different than them, btw. We have quite different worldviews/opinions.) But I vote and I don't look at what the results are after the election cause I don't care very much.

- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)

If I wasn't married to an so/sx and didn't have kids they wouldn't happen. My favorite Thanksgiving was visiting my sis and us making veggie burritos and going for a bike ride.

- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

Hmm. I don't know what you mean. Oh wait, yeah- I'm married, so I guess there is that.

Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

I would like going to the cathedral at Christmas if they would just play music and I could enjoy looking at the art and architecture of the church and didn't have the whole religion garbage going along with it. I hate the whole Christmas present bit but I do like getting together with my family. I like talking about enneagram on here, which I think is a social sort of thing.

 

[Redbone]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting
- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.

Elections and voting...never done either of them. Nor would I. In the words of Rick James, "Crap, crap...lies, fabrications, CRAP!"

Ooh...I wish I lived in a place where there were more holidays, festivals and such. I just like all the energy and excitement that comes from these events. I'm also very fascinated by rituals, the symbolism embedded in such events, the trappings and trimmings. I've never attended events to "be" with other people.

I don't count Christmas and stuff in that. The last 3 months of the year are the most miserable time of the year--I freaking hate the holiday season. Empty and plastic. I didn't grow up celebrating it so that may have something to do with it but not entirely.

I had to attend a lot of stuff as a kid...I hated it. The only good thing to come of it was the inevitable drama. I just don't want to spend time with people that way. It made it hard because in my family, it's totally expected. I cannot even begin to explain what a big deal it is. Family far outweighs the individual. If you don't want to go to stuff, visit, and "group" then they literally think that something is wrong with you...that you may be one of those kind of people.

 

[Totenkindly]

How do you feel about these things?

- Civic events/actions like elections and voting
- Holidays and festivals (whatever is commonly celebrated in your part of the world)
- Other community or social norms, rituals and events that have struck you as not being amazingly vapid

Have you had any positive experiences or feelings about any of these things? What have they been like? Why do you think you enjoyed them?

I'm mostly looking for responses from so-last people over the age of 25 because I feel that a.) the personality is pretty solid by then and b.) because they should have outgrown the teens and early twenties brand of self-absorption but young 'uns, you can respond, too, if you want.

1. I think voting is important, but I also recognize I'm just one vote among many. It is what it is. It only upsets me that people try to rig the game in some way, rather than just presenting available information, then leaving people alone to ask questions and vote their mind -- there's a lot of "gaming" going on. Just like when I used to get something out of watching everyone go up in church for communion (a communal aspect to the ritual), I felt the same things standing in line to vote among a bunch of people I've never met but we all cared enough to show up.

2. Holidays and festivals have their place. Sometimes there are even past good memories or fun aspects of a particular event. But it is what it is -- just an event, just a day out of the year, etc. Nothing to freak out over or place in too much esteem. Life goes on. I find the extremes annoying... people who either try to get everyone else to conform to their own expectations of an event or people who try to ruin the event for others / disparage people from enjoying it.

3. Many norms and rituals have some kind of basis to them. Some less so than others, but typically if you want to indulge, find a purpose and then enjoy what you're doing. I just don't see them as involate or "natural law" where if you violate the norm, people should get all pissy. The norms should serve people, not people the norms.


I can enjoy stuff if they are fun/enjoyable; the fact I can share them with other people I like or care about; it can build a sense of belonging/inclusiveness in a wider community, even just knowing others are having a parallel experience, it's a point of connection. They can be something special you share with those you are close to and it builds a stronger bond. (So there's a "general experience of Christmas" that we all relate to; but for me as SX first there's a sense of private/personal specific experience with people, we have specific memories that no one else shares that are special to me.)