• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Help Me Settle On My %!@$ Instinctual Subtype

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
A plea for help, yes this is! [MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] put this idea in my head from reading his review on instinctual subtypes.

I've take tests but it's not really helpful. I've read elfboy's descriptions and still unsure. Being a 7 kinda throws it off and I can't figure it out. Sx, sp, or so? Ask me questions please, I'll answer them.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,578
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think you are an Sx
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I tied between sp and sx. No surprise there.

Some recommended tie-breakers?

A little more info:
Sp: I'm very good with money. I live very well despite not having much money (can't wait to work, though). Saver not spender. I place an extreme amount of importance on being physically comfortable. I also show love and affection by ensuring that the physical surroundings are comfortable. My "nest" is important to me and needs to be just so for me to be happy. It's my dream to build the ultimate nest (but I'm torn about being stuck in one place!).

Sx: I've been in a relationship, in one form or another, since I was 15. I don't think in terms of "Oh my god...I've just GOT to be in a relationship!!!!" It just happens. Even so, I like space/freedom in the relationship. I want very intense contact with my SO/FWB/whatever and then I want to go home. I am risk-taker but I work hard to make it work and minimize disaster because 'winning' is important to me. Umm...what else...ah. Addictive personality--one is good...5 is better. I can do things until I'm stuffed and sick with it, that's true. I'm less likely to do it now because of the damage it's done in the past. I feel the pull but I have a lot of responsibility on my hands and I'm determined to see that through instead of indulging myself (and it's so very hard...).

I think that's too much but I'm too lazy to go back and edit.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
You vibe more Sx I think. But your description of yourself seemed to lean heavier Sp.

The 16types.info site - probably my favorite in terms of touching on the energy nuances - contrasts it like this:

Sp/Sx

Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

  • Expression: wistful self-absorbed expression, sighing, magic is in their head
  • Energy: calm, steady energy expressed intensely, withdrawing
  • Behavior: withdrawn, calm, wistful and self absorbed
  • Mindset: "I can have merging/intensity without having to leave my orderly & pleasing lifestyle." (imagination, safe people and relationships, when the safety of these are challenged they withdraw)

Sx/Sp

Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.

This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.

  • Expression: intense, self-absorbed expression
  • Energy: intense energy expressed calmly, steadily, assertively
  • Behavior: intense, assertive, troubled and self absorbed
  • Mindset: "If I can make (us) have an orderly & pleasing lifestyle, I can keep up and escalate all this merging/intensity."

They also give these "energy flow" descriptions to show the "direction of flow" - I don't like some of the words, personally, but the important thing is the surging and intensifying energy of sx/sp versus the quieting and drawing in energy of the sp/sx. Both have the sp-pull/sx-push thing going on but the sp/sx has more pull and draws that intensity in and down, while the sx/sp has more push and presses the intensity out, albeit with more grounding than sx/so.

sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting
sp/sx - dulling, calming, quieting, grounding, descending, lowering, dampening, numbing, desensitizing, exhausting, deadening, extinguishing, making still

One last thing that I've noticed in life, the sp-first people I know generally tend to get most hung up on their personal comfort and conditions - if they're physically uncomfortable, their first priority is to take care of that. You can really see it in day-to-day life, they don't like being uncomfortable and they act quickly to resolve it. Sx-firsts seem in general to be way more hung up on whatever intense search they're on, whatever they're pursuing, and the practical world doesn't seem to even register on the same plane until it becomes really pressing.

Here are a few other quotes from people:

INTPness said:
sx:
-I enjoy close connections with individuals
-I enjoy intensity in interactions and experiences
-I place emphasis on doing things that I'm passionate about
-Depth over breadth in relationships
-Always looking to plug-in to something - a cause, a passion, a calling, etc.

sp:
-Protective of my time and space
-Place emphasis on having security (bills paid, roof over my head, job, income, food, etc.)
-Privacy is important
-Material possessions (this doesn't apply to me 100%)

JAVO said:
I think the difference is just that sx/sp people will tend to have that nagging sp pulling them away from their adventure, intensity and connections, while sp/sx people will tend to experience the conflict as the desire for connection and adventure pulling them out of their fortress.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I tied between sp and sx. No surprise there.

Some recommended tie-breakers?

A little more info:
Sp: I'm very good with money. I live very well despite not having much money (can't wait to work, though). Saver not spender. I place an extreme amount of importance on being physically comfortable. I also show love and affection by ensuring that the physical surroundings are comfortable. My "nest" is important to me and needs to be just so for me to be happy. It's my dream to build the ultimate nest (but I'm torn about being stuck in one place!).

Sx: I've been in a relationship, in one form or another, since I was 15. I don't think in terms of "Oh my god...I've just GOT to be in a relationship!!!!" It just happens. Even so, I like space/freedom in the relationship. I want very intense contact with my SO/FWB/whatever and then I want to go home. I am risk-taker but I work hard to make it work and minimize disaster because 'winning' is important to me. Umm...what else...ah. Addictive personality--one is good...5 is better. I can do things until I'm stuffed and sick with it, that's true. I'm less likely to do it now because of the damage it's done in the past. I feel the pull but I have a lot of responsibility on my hands and I'm determined to see that through instead of indulging myself (and it's so very hard...).

I think that's too much but I'm too lazy to go back and edit.

hey red. do you ever feel like one is 'getting in the way' of the other? i relate to sp, but i hate when i feel like it's interfering with my ability to connect more deeply, engage more fully. and i'm very aware that those things are a priority to me over any sp stuff i might feel. but sometimes, when i'm feeling burned by sx, that's when sp is really satisfying to me. i know, though, that being 'satisfied' in an sp way is never enough for me, while sx satisfaction is like a tall glass of water to me. always hits the spot (no innuendo intended).
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
You guys are awesome! :wubbie:

I gotta take a minute to digest all this and reply. I need to stop avoiding my final school assignment here. :(
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Geez I feel you there. I just finished an online quiz with minutes to spare and it's been available for days. :dry:

It just occurred to me that I ought to point out that your sig is like a double sx-whammy. ecstatic and looking for the perfect
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Okay I dug into this a little more. I probably lean a little more toward sx than sp. It's super close though. [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] thank you for the info...that was really very helpful to me. Never thought about my sig! [MENTION=18819]five sounds[/MENTION] yes! one does get in the way of the other! Yes, it does! I never thought about it that way. Sx and sp compete with each other all the damn time. When things are intense, it's great but if that intensity dies down any, I'm ready to revert to my "comforts". I got "fed" so to speak, and now I'm ready to attend to my sp needs. If given a choice between the two, I want sx needs first, followed quickly by sp. I think I feel dissatisfied quicker with nothing to feel intense about than I do over comfort but it's pretty freaking close.

It creates a great deal of conflict and upset within me.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Okay I dug into this a little more. I probably lean a little more toward sx than sp. It's super close though. [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] thank you for the info...that was really very helpful to me. Never thought about my sig! [MENTION=18819]five sounds[/MENTION] yes! one does get in the way of the other! Yes, it does! I never thought about it that way. Sx and sp compete with each other all the damn time. When things are intense, it's great but if that intensity dies down any, I'm ready to revert to my "comforts". I got "fed" so to speak, and now I'm ready to attend to my sp needs. If given a choice between the two, I want sx needs first, followed quickly by sp. I think I feel dissatisfied quicker with nothing to feel intense about than I do over comfort but it's pretty freaking close.

It creates a great deal of conflict and upset within me.
Totally. Mine aren't as close as yours I don't think, but that's exactly what I meant. I've read that sx/sp is 'the most conflicted' if the instinctual variant types, and I think I feel that struggle almost every day. Intensity and comfort are often at odds, and it sucks to have an instinctual drive for both. I had a hunch for sx/sp for you, but after reading your response there, I'm pretty convinced.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
I don't know how accurate this description is for 7 sp is but it describes me extremely well:

http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enneagram/Subtypes/Subtype Seven Self Preservation.htm

It's weird because I kinda insisted on sx/sp for you but this thread has me compelled to retract that...based solely on the fact you're an ENFP that's good with money wtf? <- I'm slightly joking.

What jumped out at me here was this sentiment that you've 'just sorta happened to find yourself in one relationship or another since age 15.' <-And there's something a little too casual and comfortable in that statement for me. I understand you are attracted to intense characters...and desire intense connections...but 7 sx...and so many sx doms for that matter...I'm expecting to hear about *THE ONE*…and if that didn't end so well...your subsequent stint as a celibate monk in some remote hilltop monastery...
 
B

brainheart

Guest
It's weird because I kinda insisted on sx/sp for you but this thread has me compelled to retract that...based solely on the fact you're an ENFP that's good with money wtf? <- I'm slightly joking.

What jumped out at me here was this sentiment that you've 'just sorta happened to find yourself in one relationship or another since age 15.' <-And there's something a little too casual and comfortable in that statement for me. I understand you are attracted to intense characters...and desire intense connections...but 7 sx...and so many sx doms for that matter...I'm expecting to hear about *THE ONE*…and if that didn't end so well...your subsequent stint as a celibate monk in some remote hilltop monastery...

You know, I didn't respond after first reading this post by [MENTION=9883]Redbone[/MENTION], but that's what I was thinking, too.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
You know, I didn't respond after first reading this post by [MENTION=9883]Redbone[/MENTION], but that's what I was thinking, too.

One of the best descriptions I've ever read on here meant to illustrate the *coming together* experience for an sx dom and an intimate was by Disco Biscuit (and I won't call him here because I'm already butchering what was a beautiful and profound statement but...) He called it an Event Horizon. <-Which is perfect I feel. And it's not that there can't be multiple exceptions to every rule...but it's difficult for me to imagine an sx dom expressing that relationships "just happen." Likewise, the desire to 'go home' after having had 'intense contact' with an SO/intimate. <-I mean, we learn...generally the hard way...that it is in our best interests to control our intensity...but show me an sx dom that hasn't made things potentially way awkward by not desiring to go home...maybe our suitcases are in the car and we've already planned out the next 20 years with the SO... Or in the face of such feelings...maybe we've flipped-out and ran away to Zimbabwe. Who knows... but an Event Horizon can potentially cause a lot of embarrassment. We insure these things don't "just happen."
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Whoops and there were other things in the sx paragraph that I could just as easily attribute to sp or even just 7 in general.

I imagine it depends on the addiction...but I know sp doms that can 'out addictive personality' sx doms any day of the week. sp doms are no strangers to many forms of excess. And it should be noted that with sx doms this 'thing' we're sorta calling *addiction* might be better understood as merely extremes in behavior and deed. Many sx doms will throw themselves into deprivation for one unknown reason or another.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] your words sent me into a whirl. I had more thoughts about this while rinsing out the sink and hurried to get back here before my thoughts evaporated. Why don't I have a secretary tucked in my lobes so that this won't happen?

I had "someone" just once. And the rest of those relationships happened because I wanted the feelings of intensity that happened with the first one. I wasn't attached to the person(s) but to recreating what I felt with that first one. It was long ago and I stopped doing it. I dunno...sx and sp feel very tangled up to me. And it is hard sift out what is sx and just 7 in general. I think that sx shows up at its worst when I am distressed or worse, depressed. It tends to come roaring out then and I have a tendency to lose control, take crazy risks, blah, blah, blah when I am unhappy. Pure f*** it mode. I stop caring and start seeking.
Maybe that's the struggle I feel inside...being an ENFP sp-dom? (angling for that oh-so-wonderful special snowflake status).
 
Top