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[sp] Do sps just want to date themselves?

buddy2eyes

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2014
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sp
I like to be accepted by others as the way I am and lead me the better way to improve the bad point in myself. By learning about their way of living and sharing opinions and such.
 

Hitoshi-San

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
1,078
MBTI Type
esfp
Enneagram
???
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
No! Obviously, there's some, but if that's the case for all of them, then I'm not sp. I can see where I, and other sp's, would be uncomfortable approaching someone if they weren't sure that person liked them back.
 

Pionart

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2014
Messages
4,039
MBTI Type
NiFe
When I connect with someone I tend to see myself in them.
 

Cygnus

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2014
Messages
1,594
That's exactly what I want. Someone exactly like myself. Someone to bust down the invisible walls inside your mind.


Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's sx-firsts who are focused on 1-on-1 obsession in relationships and so-lasts who have the hardest time building social connections just for the sake of socializing.
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Not just like me. But I would be best off with another sp. The similarities may (mercifully!) stop there.
 

Froody Blue Gem

Necromancing Scapelamb
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
Messages
1,141
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Well, I can understand why someone would think that. Sp-doms do long for a certain amount of safety and we need to keep to ourselves to regain it once people overstep boundaries. I'm an sx-blind to-boot and a walking contradiction being that yes, I do dream about that special someone, someone intelligent who I could laugh with, a bit of a snarky edge, would treat me like a capable adult but simultaneously know just when to make me feel safe and protected. I have often thought that I would be happy being a crazy single cat lady being an sx-last. Then again, sx-blindness is apparently the most common blindspot and plenty of people find that special person so... maybe I should attribute my issues to other things.

After my first (and only) relationship or thing resembling a relationship, I have felt a void within me, I've questioned sp/sx due to this but so-blindness would not make any sense whatsoever with me... It's difficult for me to find connection and my instinct is to run away. I dream about Mr. Right but bringing actual human beings into the equation who I know makes me want to vomit. Also when people say "What about so-and-so, you two would be perfect together" or something along those lines, usually the person who the blank is filled in with makes me want to vomit and leave the planet. I dream about finding the right person and have worried about not finding him. However, I would be much happier being single and happy than end up with someone who I detest.
 

neko 4

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
437
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
No way. I won't date someone whose as controlling as me.
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,848
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I read somewhere that sps just want someone who is exactly like them and I have an sp friend who said the same thing. Is this true?

Edit: sp as in self preservation instinct

Ew, that sounds awful and boring. I'd rather someone who provides me balance in terms of there strengths being in areas of my weaknesses or something like that. What's the point of dating someone that predictable?
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This thread is very timely since I have actually been taking myself out on dates alone lately. I take myself out to Olive Garden every Saturday, and sometimes go to the movie. I dress up in Go-go boots and have a real fancy time. We now think we want to go to the zoo soon.
:bunnyd:
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Also, if I ever date another person, I DO want them to be a lot like me, except a much more shocking version of me.
(Oh, I got the enneagram SP thing a bit wrong, although I have some of that in me too.)
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Historically...that would be a decided No.

Though, that could make for a smoother relationship.
 

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Nope, I would actually like it if the person was almost my total opposite. I'm often attracted to 3w2 men because of this.
 

I Tonya

Rythym of the night
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
567
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
539
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
LMAO... FOR THE MOST PART I COME TO THE CONCLUSION BASED ON THE SP DOMS I KNOW, HELL YES. THEY DON'T MIND BEING LONELY FUCKERS.
 

I Tonya

Rythym of the night
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
567
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
539
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I mean, wait I misunderstood the question. Um, idk sp doms would have to answer.

I thought it said do sp wanna date themselves, as in nobody else.
 

Kanra Jest

Av'ent'Gar'de ~
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
2,388
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think I'd want to date another SX and I like the intimacy

Now... would I want to date someone with a strong sp too? (I have a strong sp also and have occasionally suspected I might even be sp/sx if it weren't for my one and one adoration of connection and fascination with intensity) If it's coupled with sx it's kinda perfect since we'd both do the back and forth yo-yo thing so sure as hell why not. If it's coupled with so (sp/so or so/sp) though I find it lacking in the depth I want. If it's too sp dom's it might be funny and a little difficult that both of us have WALLS up though.. A lot. Gotta dive in eventually.
 

Northern Lights

New member
Joined
Jan 21, 2019
Messages
20
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Not an sp-first but I am currently in a relationship with a 6w5 sp/sx and I often think he would prefer to date someone more like himself ... someone who is seemingly self-sufficient/closed off and doesn't overtly express any relational needs or desires.
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,552
I kinda do but i think a so dom could be a lot of fun
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I don't know but i read the title as do SP's just want to eat?

and probably! isn't that what most people want deep deep deep down?
 
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