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[sp] Is this Sp-last or Unhealthy Sp-dom?

valaki

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That's what I want to know, OP. I recently concluded that I'm so second, but less clear on where the other two instincts go. They're about equally screwy in ways only a frontliner and blindspot can be.

Yeah I actually read that somewhere that your second instinct is the one that's not "screwy" and shit. That's also one of the reasons why I originally decided to go with sx/sp. :eek: Unless special examples I mentioned above count as something for Sp-last.

Did you decide on So-second because it doesn't cause you that many issues?


A general principle on how a last instinct consistently differs from a first instinct, as opposed to how, for just one example, under-expressing in your example can apply to first or last at times, would be ideal to apply here.

Yeah...


And my body would never believe me on ice cream or even hot pockets for dinner. Too one-sided in ingredients and I finish as hungry and jittery as I was before I ate. If dinner isn't right, too, I am totally unable to sleep, so I conserve most of my food for that meal. There's a system...

...and yet I resent things like food for taking my time away from what I consider the real important stuff. The things discussed here as sp-related are things I get done so that they'll stop impinging, so the obligations will stop drowning out my thoughts and plans like an unwelcome fire alarm. Fast and unskillfully cooked works for me as long as all satisfying elements are included, and I will get irritable at the suggestion to slow down and take pride in such activities.

lol, a few months ago I hurt my head, and the hardest thing about letting it heal was having to slow down on mentally stimulating activities like studying and creating. It felt insulting, as if I was conceding power to a body dumbly inconsiderate of my needs - as if those things were seperate, which they aren't. Possibly not relevant.

That's really interesting :eek:

You're so different from me :) I like independence from the body needs too, just like you, but I can ignore them whenever I please.

I don't understand the part about how your healing head had you slow down on mental activities. Was it the pyhsical pain distracting you?


I actually like to keep things simple too because spending too much time and effort on cooking is boring. That said, taste is still important to me ... so it's really a matter of weighing the costs and the benefits on the whole.

Taste is somewhat important to me too. But I can eat certain shit that doesn't have a taste at all. Much easier to do that than if it had an outright bad taste, though :)


You strike me as sp-last so far. I haven't seen anything controlled about your forum interactions so far. I'd probably go with sx/so because there's something about your posts that makes me a little tense/polarized but you're also an 8 and a Ti-user, so idk.

Haha, the controlled thing is more IRL when I'm not being very social which is most of the time really. It's like it's hard to move me out of a sort of equilibrium and so to become social in an actual group, I need strong initiative from others. I'm not sure if that makes sense but that's how it feels to me. Sx definitely seems easier to me than this So deal. I can still get acutely aware of the group if I'm not involved so I'm not sure if that means So-last. Though quite honestly if I do get involved, I'll become less aware of the group itself, that is, it stops being an annoyance and I focus on the connections between me and each person I'm currently focusing on inside the group instead. I would attribute that to Sx > So. If I do not get involved, I will easily focus on Sp matters instead. (Along with some annoyance sometimes about the So-awareness.) Also, I was not aware of any sort of group thingies whatsoever until I got older, when I turned 13 is when I started developing some really rudimentary awareness of them, especially of the issues resulting from my non-focus on groups.

So that's why I was thinking So-last: it makes me aware of So when it causes issues. If no issues, I'm not as aware of it much. Though I've heard there is "antisocial So-firsts", whatever that may mean.

On this forum, I don't really focus on Sp that much, that's for sure. How would you even connect Sp to forum activities though? I hope my question makes sense, I'm really curious.

And, what did you mean by the Ti-user thing? I only have "SeNi" in my profile, is the Ti this obvious? Wow. And, okay, so I'm a Ti-user, how can that relate to making stuff tense/polarized? I get the 8 part haha
 
0

011235813

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On this forum, I don't really focus on Sp that much, that's for sure. How would you even connect Sp to forum activities though? I hope my question makes sense, I'm really curious.

IME, sp-first users either tend to keep to themselves and interact primarily with a circle of intimates or express themselves quite impersonally/impartially. Or both. Either way, they're not immediately prominent or visible (though there are some notable exceptions like [MENTION=9602]YWIR[/MENTION] - bahaha she's going to hate me for mentioning her in a typology thread) and even if they are, they're not particularly self-revealing in personal terms.

I can't really explain well, I'm sorry. I tend to go by unscientific, hand wavey things like vibe, which are hard to verbalize. It's the same way I figured you were a Ti > Fe extrovert ... you didn't strike me as being the Fi/Te axis but that's an unsubstantiated personal opinion.
 

valaki

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sx/sp
IME, sp-first users either tend to keep to themselves and interact primarily with a circle of intimates or express themselves quite impersonally/impartially. Or both. Either way, they're not immediately prominent or visible (though there are some notable exceptions like [MENTION=9602]YWIR[/MENTION] - bahaha she's going to hate me for mentioning her in a typology thread) and even if they are, they're not particularly self-revealing in personal terms.

I see. I can be like this myself but I can't say this is how I always prefer to be. Can this fit Sx/Sp?


I can't really explain well, I'm sorry. I tend to go by unscientific, hand wavey things like vibe, which are hard to verbalize. It's the same way I figured you were a Ti > Fe extrovert ... you didn't strike me as being the Fi/Te axis but that's an unsubstantiated personal opinion.

Well the Ti/Fe guess works. :)
 
S

Stansmith

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Yeah, strangely enough, Sp/Sx is the only other instinctual stacking I could see myself in from an archetypal standpoint (I currently identify as So/Sx).
 

gromit

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Goddammit those last few posts, you guys are sounding so f*cking boring now. (Guess that helps determine my instincts?! :p)

Oh come now... it's not like the only thing we ever think about. And yeah I think maybe like [MENTION=13147]senza tema[/MENTION] was saying, it's about the vibes too...
 
B

brainheart

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I think instincts are hard to figure out, for sure. But once you get it, it makes sense.

I am social last because I neglect it the most of all the instincts. I just don't really care all that much about it. I don't want to play the game, I don't care about belonging, I don't care about acceptance. I'm married to a social first and his life is hilarious to me. The drama in his 'crew' is like a bad episode of 90210 or something. He thinks it's ridiculous, too, but he would never leave it. He needs his social network and social connections. He feels the need to belong and to be part of something bigger. I don't feel that. That said, I do have moments where I feel incredibly self conscious in social situations and feel a tremendous amount of social shame, but it's less about wanting to be a part of it so much as just being an image type. I think all image types want to be admired. If I don't feel like I'm putting myself out there in an admirable way, I don't want to be there.

More than anything, I feel the desire to be united with a person, or a few people, but all of those relationships are one on one relationships isolated from each other (with the exception of my husband and children, of course, but even there my husband will talk about the 'family', while I'll talk about everyone on individual terms. I don't feel the need for family togetherness so much as the need for intimate time with each member of the family. This is all kind of funny because I come from a family of 8 and he comes from a family of four, but that's how it is.)

I suck at a lot of what is termed 'typical self pres stuff': making money, keeping my house clean, time management, remembering to fix food, etc. But I think that's because self pres stuff is too often conflated with what self pres would be for a SJ. What will preserve the self depends on the individual. As an INFP 4w5, self preservation means to me not doing some dumb job where I won't be true to myself, even if it means I have little money. It means doing what feels right rather than what I 'should' do. However, I prioritize intimacy (and the charge that comes with it) more than the self pres issues. So that's how I figured it out.

I've also noticed I tend to click with sx/sps the most, irrespective of etype and mbti. So I think that comes into play as well.

Also: I think it's even better to look at the stackings rather than the individual instincts, and the overall motivation of that stacking.
 

valaki

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I think instincts are hard to figure out, for sure. But once you get it, it makes sense.

I am social last because I neglect it the most of all the instincts. I just don't really care all that much about it. I don't want to play the game, I don't care about belonging, I don't care about acceptance. I'm married to a social first and his life is hilarious to me. The drama in his 'crew' is like a bad episode of 90210 or something. He thinks it's ridiculous, too, but he would never leave it. He needs his social network and social connections. He feels the need to belong and to be part of something bigger. I don't feel that. That said, I do have moments where I feel incredibly self conscious in social situations and feel a tremendous amount of social shame, but it's less about wanting to be a part of it so much as just being an image type. I think all image types want to be admired. If I don't feel like I'm putting myself out there in an admirable way, I don't want to be there.

More than anything, I feel the desire to be united with a person, or a few people, but all of those relationships are one on one relationships isolated from each other (with the exception of my husband and children, of course, but even there my husband will talk about the 'family', while I'll talk about everyone on individual terms. I don't feel the need for family togetherness so much as the need for intimate time with each member of the family. This is all kind of funny because I come from a family of 8 and he comes from a family of four, but that's how it is.)

I suck at a lot of what is termed 'typical self pres stuff': making money, keeping my house clean, time management, remembering to fix food, etc. But I think that's because self pres stuff is too often conflated with what self pres would be for a SJ. What will preserve the self depends on the individual. As an INFP 4w5, self preservation means to me not doing some dumb job where I won't be true to myself, even if it means I have little money. It means doing what feels right rather than what I 'should' do. However, I prioritize intimacy (and the charge that comes with it) more than the self pres issues. So that's how I figured it out.

I've also noticed I tend to click with sx/sps the most, irrespective of etype and mbti. So I think that comes into play as well.

Also: I think it's even better to look at the stackings rather than the individual instincts, and the overall motivation of that stacking.

Thanks that makes quite some sense :) I relate a lot to your attitude about social stuff. I'm not as extreme with rejecting it all as you are but I see we share a lot in common there.

I will have to think more about Sp now.

How would you sum up the overall motivation of Sx/Sp vs Sp/Sx?
 

valaki

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Oh come now... it's not like the only thing we ever think about. And yeah I think maybe like [MENTION=13147]senza tema[/MENTION] was saying, it's about the vibes too...

I'm feeling relieved now that I know it's not the only thing you Sp-doms think about :D

Do you see a vibe about me or why do you mention that?
 

gromit

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I'm feeling relieved now that I know it's not the only thing you Sp-doms think about :D

Do you see a vibe about me or why do you mention that?

:alttongue:

yeah unfotrunately haven't really interacted with you so no vibes yet...! just sort of bouncing off what senza had said
 

valaki

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:alttongue:

yeah unfotrunately haven't really interacted with you so no vibes yet...! just sort of bouncing off what senza had said

no worries! I didnt talk to him/her outside this thread either :)
 

Galena

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Yeah I actually read that somewhere that your second instinct is the one that's not "screwy" and shit. That's also one of the reasons why I originally decided to go with sx/sp. :eek: Unless special examples I mentioned above count as something for Sp-last.
I claimed so-last for a long time, but ultimately, my instinctual enmeshment with so matters is too much for that. Did not relate to anybody in discussions of so-last. The types I had thought I was, on a new inspection of materials on instincts, became the easiest to rule out.

Once those types were out, eliminating others was not so much by the instincts' fuckiness. All of of my possible instinctual hangups have their own hangups, lol. There is only one instinct, however, that I gravitate to as relief from hazards in the other two, and so does that job. So is more controlled than the others, but to think that it is my first priority or passion would be to skim over who I really am. Second is the only spot it makes sense in.

You're so different from me :) I like independence from the body needs too, just like you, but I can ignore them whenever I please.
Oh, I can ignore them in my own way, and have a bad lifelong habit of overclocking them on passions and occupations until the machine explodes and has to be rebuilt again, so to speak. The ignoring is more conscious to me than many sp-lasts describe, though. Rather than forgetting or not feeling the need until the moment of burnout, I will be highly aware the whole time but say "fuck pain, I will feed my pain to [current focus]". There is a sacrificial quality to it that fuels the drive in spirit, like burning my material self on an altar in the name of the goal. I remember all the times, especially when young, where I did allow the body's sensitivities to soften my will and go "Not this time. Not for this."

I also push my limits because I feel morally compelled to toughen myself up (no super explanation available for this), but may overshoot. Over time, these overshots have become milder and milder, so I am getting a better sense of pace and getting it under control. :yes:
I don't understand the part about how your healing head had you slow down on mental activities. Was it the pyhsical pain distracting you?
Even a minor concussion is still a brain injury, which is what I had. A doctor will tell you to rest your mind.
 

valaki

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I claimed so-last for a long time, but ultimately, my instinctual enmeshment with so matters is too much for that. Did not relate to anybody in discussions of so-last. The types I had thought I was, on a new inspection of materials on instincts, became the easiest to rule out.

I see. Why did you think So-last originally?


Once those types were out, eliminating others was not so much by the instincts' fuckiness. All of of my possible instinctual hangups have their own hangups, lol. There is only one instinct, however, that I gravitate to as relief from hazards in the other two, and so does that job. So is more controlled than the others, but to think that it is my first priority or passion would be to skim over who I really am. Second is the only spot it makes sense in.

Hmm to me Sp is the relief instinct. If I understand you right here. Can you elaborate on what you mean by using it as relief?

It's also the most controlled of all three for me.


Oh, I can ignore them in my own way, and have a bad lifelong habit of overclocking them on passions and occupations until the machine explodes and has to be rebuilt again, so to speak. The ignoring is more conscious to me than many sp-lasts describe, though. Rather than forgetting or not feeling the need until the moment of burnout, I will be highly aware the whole time but say "fuck pain, I will feed my pain to [current focus]". There is a sacrificial quality to it that fuels the drive in spirit, like burning my material self on an altar in the name of the goal. I remember all the times, especially when young, where I did allow the body's sensitivities to soften my will and go "Not this time. Not for this."

I also push my limits because I feel morally compelled to toughen myself up (no super explanation available for this), but may overshoot. Over time, these overshots have become milder and milder, so I am getting a better sense of pace and getting it under control. :yes:

Ah I see, well when I ignore these things, it's truly ignored, I don't feel it. Well unless it's really intensely bad, then it can come to my consciousness here and there - I still have a good control over ignoring it - but I do tend to take care of things before it would get bad. I also got the feeling that you're in general more sensitive to body signals and we're different there too.


Even a minor concussion is still a brain injury, which is what I had. A doctor will tell you to rest your mind.

OK, I'm not a doctor clearly, I was not told this sort of stuff before, either. Guess I would've been annoyed to be told such a thing, I relate to you in terms of wanting to have control. :)
 

Galena

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[MENTION=20622]valaki[/MENTION], I thout so-last for reasons I have forgotten, but probably feeling a disconnect from group dynamics. Thing is, I had none at the time to interact with and tell by. And by a relief function, I mean going to play in that zone to escape or soothe stressors of instincts 1 and 3. A confidence booster that nonetheless does not really touch the core.
 

valaki

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[MENTION=20622]valaki[/MENTION], I thout so-last for reasons I have forgotten, but probably feeling a disconnect from group dynamics. Thing is, I had none at the time to interact with and tell by. And by a relief function, I mean going to play in that zone to escape or soothe stressors of instincts 1 and 3. A confidence booster that nonetheless does not really touch the core.

I see. So when you did get to interact in a group you figured you weren't actually so disconnected?

Guess I understood you right on what "relief function" means
 

Galena

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I see. So when you did get to interact in a group you figured you weren't actually so disconnected?

Guess I understood you right on what "relief function" means
Unfortunately, I'm unable put adequate words to the effect any more than I have. Yes but no, not in a hard and lasting way.
 

Cloud of Thunder

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Lately I've been feeling like an average Sp/Sx. I fluctuate between languid homebody and scattered wanderer.
 

valaki

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Unfortunately, I'm unable put adequate words to the effect any more than I have. Yes but no, not in a hard and lasting way.

No worries!
 

Elfboy

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I'm reconsidering So/Sx for you after reading this (still can't see you as an Sx dom)
 

The Great One

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I realized earlier today that I have only a marginal interest in Sp-related issues and I get a bit annoyed when I absolutely must address them, whether it's needing to eat or drink when I'm hungry or thirsty, needing to take a shower after several days, constantly forgetting to pay bills or pump gas, or endlessly putting off repairs on my car in favor of other purchases (namely used books). Other things/people/experiences are simply more interesting to me than my own personal care.

Is this a sign of being Sp-last or an unhealthy Sp-dom? I don't feel particularly unhealthy, but what do you think?

Possibly sp second, but definitely not Sp first. You sound Sp last to me.
 
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