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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts How does our last instinct manifest itself?

badger055

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Aug 29, 2012
Messages
570
I noticed the only time I like being social outside of the normal sx/sp way is if people come over to my place or just come into my world in general. If I go over to someone else's place I don't really like it as much.

I'm thinking that my So manifests with my sp since sp is largely about home life and if people come into my world it's like I'm sharing what's most important to me (sx stuff). So I think my sx or sp have to be taken care of first before I can use So.

Thoughts?
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My so manifests in a herky-jerky fashion as a way to secure a network of people for my sp. Also because I'm a 4, I'm always highly interested in what I don't have. It's something that mesmerizes me in other people.
 

Noll

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Oct 12, 2013
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705
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INFP
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4w5
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sp
I'm not sure how my sx manifests itself, I always romanticize intimacy rather than actually pursuing it at all whatsoever, but oh I really do want it. I'm a passionate person and this I know... Just a little differently. Expressing oneself and seeking contact in the outer world is hard. Then again I'm young, very young! But at this rate... It's awfully sad to even think about, imagine all the people who have always been alone, there must be a few... I doubt I'm alone about feeling this way though, I think you may feel this way no matter what type and instinctual variant you are, somewhere inside of you under my or someone elses far worse circumstances. Very few people actually want to be alone! I can't be the only one having difficulty or being worried and anxious about it.

Though sometimes I don't care about it at all. It's weird.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
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so/sx
I think because I'm a 6, what I lack in Sp is sometimes augmented by security concerns - in particular my home being secure, having access to food, clean water, medication, and other resources, and paying my bills.

But I generally feel similar, in that my other instincts basically always come first. 9 times out of 10 I feel like I sort of use my other instincts as proxy to engage activity that would otherwise be motivated by Sp concerns. Having a Sp-dom significant other has been helpful in that my instincts inherently motivate me to align with him, and he's naturally Sp-oriented, so I end up getting on board with him to take care of both of us.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
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478
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sx/so
I think I am sp last, though I could be confusing this with inferior Si. Take it with a grain of salt.

Basically, I just forget to do sp stuff. It is not to say that I do not find it important. I do. I just habitually find myself not keeping track of my finances, not remembering to eat, and not keeping track of time.

Like yesterday I realized I basically forgot to go to the bathroom for 36 hours straight. Its like I need my mom here telling me to go to the bathroom or something.

There is also an unwillingness to accumulate material goods in my case, because I feel that it weighs me down. I do not understand those who devote their lives to orderly suburban life and 401 Ks and all. We are going to die anyway; why accumulate stuff. Not my values.

Instead, I spend my life doing the things that the majority of people only dream of. I need several thousand dollars in the bank for emergencies (my family lives all over the world) and enough to do the things I want to do. Everything I acquire beyond that is a game I play rather than a serious life pursuit.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It's usually a blindspot. Supposedly the first instinct is the most problematic (neurotic, perhaps) and the second is the one we have under control, as it's a focus but not overwhelmingly so. By that definition I'd be sx first, but the sp energy suits me better.

My so blindspot is an obliviousness to my relation to others in a group & sometimes even in friendships. I don't know where I stand with people because I don't think about it enough.

sp first for me doesn't manifest as the opposite of how people describe sp last (ie. I often forget to eat, don't like being bogged down with too much stuff, etc), but instead is more of an emotional desire for autonomy, to keep people at arm's length so as to not have their needs eclipse mine, etc. It's also an awareness of space, both physical & emotional. With sx second, this creates a real problem. There are also indulgence & denial aspects...it doesn't manifest as anything practical for me. I used to show up 2 hours late to work & can go all day without eating, etc. I guess there is a "recklessness" there for a 4 sp, as Riso-Hudson describe.

My so last experience, from another thread:

so last according to me said:
- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

- You don't care about who is dating who or whatever dynamics are happening between people in a group. You don't even really understand these dynamics; it all looks silly to you. Often, you're oblivious to it all. You may only pick up on intimate dynamics between you & someone else.

- You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.

- You have trouble seeing the value of "reputation", have little to no awareness of your own rep, and don't put much stock in acknowledging others' reps (taking people at face value, sometimes to your detriment). Popularity means almost nothing to you.

- You're unaware of status & don't put stock in it, so any material sp related interests are very personal & about meeting individual needs

- Your home is set up to be comfortable to yourself, not company...you don't think in terms of "entertaining"

- You're unaware of your own influence on a group, and you may inadvertently be seen as a rebel force or a leader or an expert (because you unwittingly send out some signal that you're willing/able to do it).

- You're a loner, and it's not just because of shyness...

- You've never been a part of any clique or social circle & you've never cared to be.

- You can be widely known & active in a community of sorts, but not be a part of any circles within it. You're always on the fringe, keeping people at arm's length without even meaning to. Your purpose for being in a group is never to become a "part" of it

- You're neither suspicious nor trusting of people. You tend to respond to them according to how interesting they are to you & how interesting you are to them.

- You may blur lines when it comes to social/cultural categories, without being aware of it having any significance or offense to some people

- You're hot or cold, with little inbetween. You tend to talk at people in a disconnected way or magnetize & become magnetized; but casual, friendly interaction is hard.

- You refuse to get "involved" because you can't see the point of it

- It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice

- Politics are a big snooze fest. You might as well live under a rock when it comes to current events & celebrity gossip.

- SO types can seem full of BS but also "magical" with the way they bond comfortably or influence others

- You may assume people do/don't like you more than they do because you don't notice or understand signs of approval/disapproval. You may assume "invisibleness" too.

- You have to be careful not to always be a voice of dissent. You often fail to grasp the bonding processes people use to form social connections, so you don't jump on the "consensus bandwagon". You unwittingly make yourself an opposing force, someone for people to band against (this was a hard lesson in elementary school; I quickly withdrew once I experienced its effects)
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
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[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION], as a Soc-last, I approve of that list.
 

chickpea

perfect person
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Sep 12, 2009
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sp/sx
I agree with a lot of what [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] said HOWEVER I am a gossip fiend and I am genuinely interested in who knows who and all that. But I'm just a lurker I don't actively participate in that.
 
R

Riva

Guest
I can relate to most of what the enneagram queen/OA said. However i am certain i am atleast a 100 times more extroverted than she is therefore it is understandable why some of the points she made i can't relate to. She would probably choke to death if she ever meets me because i will insist on talking to her and rudely stare at her until she does.
 

James W

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2013
Messages
57
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If I hang out with people, especially old friends, I want it to be short, intense and energizing. Since being alone for too long leaves me in a semi comatose state, I like people to charge me up and give me an excuse to make every day feel like a worthy memory of this thing called life. Same with text messaging. The thought of starting a conversation with:

"hey"
"how's it going"
"not much, you?"
"lol"

Makes me want to flip over a table for some reason. If somebody asks me "so what have you been up to?" and all I can muster up is, "uh, nothing much." I feel like I've failed as a human being. Haha.

Also, at the start of relationships, I surprise myself at how proactive I am and focus all my energy on making it work. Then I go days without contact and think nothing of it. Then I realize if they never made the initiative to start conversations with me at this point, I might somehow accidentally forget their existence and have them disappear from my life forever. It's kinda stupid when you think about it, but it's a big fear of mine and I wonder if any people with inferior so feel the same.

- You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.

Oh God, this.
 

1487610420

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
6,426
Without any firm identification with a particular stacking:

I think I am sp last, though I could be confusing this with inferior Si. Take it with a grain of salt.

Basically, I just forget/postpone to do sp stuff. It is not to say that I do not find it important. I do.
While I do think I'm aware of my needs, I might stretch the limits if I'm engaged with something that's exciting & energizing me.
There is also an unwillingness to accumulate material goods in my case, because I feel that it weighs me down. I do not understand those who devote their lives to orderly suburban life and 401 Ks and all. We are going to die anyway; why accumulate stuff. Not my values.
@The bold, more so the learning to live with less, questioning the purpose of the attachment.
Instead, I spend my life doing the things that the majority of people only dream of. I need several thousand dollars in the bank for emergencies (my family lives all over the world) and enough to do the things I want to do. Everything I acquire beyond that is a game I play rather than a serious life pursuit.

While this looks appealing in some way and I am aware of it somewhat, I haven't "bothered" to pursuit it, yet.

It's usually a blindspot. Supposedly the first instinct is the most problematic (neurotic, perhaps) and the second is the one we have under control, as it's a focus but not overwhelmingly so. By that definition I'd be sx first, but the sp energy suits me better.

My so blindspot is an obliviousness to my relation to others in a group & sometimes even in friendships. I don't know where I stand with people because I don't think about it enough.

sp first for me doesn't manifest as the opposite of how people describe sp last (ie. I often forget to eat, don't like being bogged down with too much stuff, etc), but instead is more of an emotional desire for autonomy, to keep people at arm's length so as to not have their needs eclipse mine, etc. It's also an awareness of space, both physical & emotional. With sx second, this creates a real problem. There are also indulgence & denial aspects...it doesn't manifest as anything practical for me. I used to show up 2 hours late to work & can go all day without eating, etc. I guess there is a "recklessness" there for a 4 sp, as Riso-Hudson describe.

My so last experience, from another thread:
Originally Posted by so last according to me
- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

- You don't care about who is dating who or whatever dynamics are happening between people in a group. You don't even really understand these dynamics; it all looks silly to you. Often, you're oblivious to it all. You may only pick up on intimate dynamics between you & someone else.

- You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.
Tricky, I'd say I do enjoy some comfort & harmony, so that it can be a springboard for challenge & change, ie new exciting things/ideas.
- 1) You have trouble seeing recognize the value of "reputation", have little to no some awareness of your own rep, and don't put much stock in acknowledging others' reps (taking people at face value, sometimes to your detriment). Popularity means almost nothing to you.See 1).

- You're unaware of status & don't put stock in it, so any material sp related interests are very personal & about meeting individual needs

- Your home is set up to be 1)comfortable to yourself, not company...2)you don't think in terms of "entertaining"
1) is true, 2) unless I have a reason/necessity/purpose to.

- You're unaware of your own influence on a group, and you may inadvertently be seen as a rebel force or a leader or an expert (because you unwittingly send out some signal that you're willing/able to do it).
This might happen.
- You're a loner, and it's not just because of shyness...
Maybe circumstantially. :thinking:
- You've never been a part of any clique or social circle & you've never cared to be.

- You can be widely known & active in a community of sorts, but not be a part of any circles within it. You're always on the fringe, keeping people at arm's length without even meaning to. Your purpose for being in a group is never to become a "part" of it


- You may blur lines when it comes to social/cultural categories, without being aware of it having any significance or offense to some people

- You're hot or cold, with little in between. You tend to talk at people in a disconnected way or magnetize & become magnetized; but casual, friendly interaction is hardeasy.
I can, but I don't care to engage in pointless chit-chat. Which relates to:
- You're neither suspicious nor trusting of people. You tend to respond to them according to how interesting they are to you & how interesting you are to them.
- You refuse to get "involved" because you can't see the point of it
Some of this. It might be a counterphobic reaction though.
- It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice
I do notice, whether I care or not, will depend on circumstances, as I'll likely try to assess & adapt to what my best course of action is.
- Politics are a big snooze fest. You might as well live under a rock when it comes to current events & celebrity gossip.
Mostly true if I'm busy/engaged with something else, unless I make an effort to mind/care.
- SO types can seem full of BS but also "magical" with the way they bond comfortably or influence others
Not really, I see through it/can do it too, if I "don't try". :horror:
- You may assume people do/don't like you more than they do because you don't notice or understand signs of approval/disapproval. You may assume "invisibleness" too.

- You have to be careful not to always be a voice of dissent. You often 1)fail to grasp the bonding processes people use to form social connections, so you don't jump on the "consensus bandwagon". You unwittingly make yourself an opposing force, someone for people to band against (this was a hard lesson in elementary school; I quickly withdrew once I experienced its effects)

1)More so might not give it enough attention allowing 2) to happen.

If I hang out with people, especially old friends, I want it to be shortlong, intense and energizing. Since being alone for too long leaves me in a semi comatose state, I like people to charge me up and give me an excuse to make every day feel like a worthy memory of this thing called life. Same with text messaging. The thought of starting a conversation with:

"hey"
"how's it going"
"not much, you?"
"lol"

Makes me want to flip over a table for some reason. If somebody asks me "so what have you been up to?" and all I can muster up is, "uh, nothing much." I feel like I've failed as a human being. Haha.
I might do the chit-chatty thing in jest, but poke at them, if we have that rapport, otherwise have little interest to continue the interaction and leave it at that.
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
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XNTJ
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1w9
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sp/sx
[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION] said it all.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Probable sx-last

I'm often assertive, but relatively calmly. I hold a large part of myself back and keep my cards close to my chest. That tendency of mine has rarely been an issue; it's just a thing that I don't care about. See also:
I could talk about [a list of particular topics] with anyone, but most people don't seem to care and so, in practice, I don't talk about it much.

Moreover, I don't talk about myself or my work very much, and I don't tend to delve deeply into any specific topic. I can talk about most anything, but I tend to bring it to the very, very abstract (that "life lessons" thing above).

I'm also not exactly a fan of what appears to me to be on/off, black/white, inconsistent, and sometimes manifesting in a brash and 'accusatory' manner.

Let's see if this resonates with, like, the two other sx-lasts on the board.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
Without any firm identification with a particular stacking

This post makes it sound like you have a rather midline focus with so stuff, which perhaps suggests it's your 2nd instinct (?). The thing is, I can be that way with sp stuff (seem to have a decent grip on it), my first instinct, yet the overall sp/sx is a better fit than sx/sp. You don't quite sound so-last, but looking at it through your core type helps. I'm describing so-last with the addition of being a withdrawn 4w5 INFP.


------------

I was noticing how it can actually be hard to tell between the first & last instincts, because one is a blindspot & the other can be imbalanced, which can weirdly result in some similar problem for different reasons (kind of like the play between the dom/inferior functions in Jungian types).
 

Cloud of Thunder

New member
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
571
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
It's usually a blindspot. Supposedly the first instinct is the most problematic (neurotic, perhaps) and the second is the one we have under control, as it's a focus but not overwhelmingly so. By that definition I'd be sx first, but the sp energy suits me better.

My so blindspot is an obliviousness to my relation to others in a group & sometimes even in friendships. I don't know where I stand with people because I don't think about it enough.

sp first for me doesn't manifest as the opposite of how people describe sp last (ie. I often forget to eat, don't like being bogged down with too much stuff, etc), but instead is more of an emotional desire for autonomy, to keep people at arm's length so as to not have their needs eclipse mine, etc. It's also an awareness of space, both physical & emotional. With sx second, this creates a real problem. There are also indulgence & denial aspects...it doesn't manifest as anything practical for me. I used to show up 2 hours late to work & can go all day without eating, etc. I guess there is a "recklessness" there for a 4 sp, as Riso-Hudson describe.

My so last experience, from another thread:
Yes to all of this.
 
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