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  1. #11


    Quote Originally Posted by CheshireCat View Post
    Thanks for these resources. They were quite illuminating.

    I see. It is a good idea to consider the perceptions of others towards me into this equation. lol.

    Ive determined my variants based on past experience, though I fear that might have been erroneous. It's become glaringly obvious that I have a SO blind spot. That me engaging in others is quite erratic, I'm either pouring a lot of energy into it (and boy is it ungraceful!) or I am very shut-off; quiet and receptive. Self preservation is a definite concern... Reading in that second source it mentions anxiety caused by lack of fulfilling the primary need would cause one to focus on the secondary need. Now, I'm not too fond of reading, but the turbulence of my shitty marriage inspired me to read over a dozen books about health and diet. I was quite engrossed in that endeavor... Makes me think of SX/SP, because my passion for self preservation interests were born out of frustrated needs... Before I ever had a relationship I was just floundering around like a mopey teenager, having crushes on tv characters, and admiring people from afar (desperately wishing for something *magical* to happen, lol).... But I don't think I could rightfully rule out SP/SX, because ... I just couldn't.

    Anything in here screaming one variant over the other?
    Could be either, really. Neither one is jumping out at me yet.
    Which of these descriptions do you identify more with?

    This subtype is self-effacing also, but is generally more assertive. They may be the subtype of Nine which is most aware of the boundaries between themselves and others and at the same time, possibly the most frustrated when those boundaries are violated. They can be aware of being walked over and they might even be aware of the anger it causes, but they become frustrated with their seeming inability to control this pattern. This is true, to some degree, of all Nines, but with the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking, there seems to be a complex and interesting balance between the withdrawing energy caused by the dominant self-pres instinct and the assertive energy of the sexual instinct. This combination seems to raise consciousness of this dynamic.

    Getting healthy for this subtype, and for all Nines, involves becoming aware of this dynamic and realizing they do have the power to control their boundaries. Part of this must come from the realization on the part of the Nine that they have invited this overstepping of their boundaries from others by not defining them.
    Close relationships will usually work or not for this subtype depending on how well they deal with this issue.
    The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

    With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion – they connect in bursts, then withdraw.

    When it comes to intimate relationships, this subtype can be needy. The merging of the Nine combines with the intensity of the sexual instinct to create a subtype that will always be in danger of losing themselves in a relationship. Their boundaries for themselves and their partner can become blurred which can lead to conflicts. This subtype might have a hard time judging clearly the degree to which they have merged.

  2. #12
    Member CheshireCat's Avatar
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    Oct 2013


    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Which of these descriptions do you identify more with?
    Well I can relate to the top one for sure. Yet, I'm wondering if I just got frustrated because my past relationships were iffy >.> I do like acknowledging boundaries. I wouldn't say it's assertive exactly... Being walked over is upsetting at times. I feel like I'm always aware of it, and I let it happen. It is upsetting at times, but it's like... I'll do whatever has to be done to get me in the position of getting away from you so I don't have to deal with you.

    Now the second one, I love hiking, tree climbing, swimming, and I'd definitely go rock climbing. Definitely not a smooth talker. I ask questions and people are like . Sometimes I keep on dishing out words, other times all it takes is one misunderstanding and I'm instantly done talking. Definitely needy and have a hard time judging how much I've merged... So I guess there's more confidence in my relation to the second one.

    Thank you, I appreciate you walking me through that :P

    EDIT: This is perfect
    "These 9s can sit around and have long conversations with people they hardly know in the strangest places and lose themselves in ripples only the 9 is aware of." I cannot say how many times this has happened. And the first conversation is always the easiest... any following conversation is dreaded and avoided. Unless, I fancy that person of course.
    "The unconscious mind should be called the super-conconsious mind."

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