[sx] Sx-last - your view on sx-doms?

[brainheart]

my projection based on relationships with so/sp is that they find us, sx types, just really inconsistent. we don't put consistency and reciprocity and social contract above our whims, and at times we don't realize the difference between a whim and something that is true for us in a deeper way. sx is measured in urgency, so our sense of time distorts somewhat, and it can be difficult to balance short-term vs long-term. well-developed sp is what combats this (along with the literal skill of time management, using T to mark, measure, and moderate our attention and allow us to truly be aware of what is happening in both a broad and narrow, targeted sense).

So true.

 

[Lady_X]

I've definitely had those sorts of experiences. When it happens, I just kinda walk off the stand, because.. well, fuck being on the stand. I don't know if other sx-doms would even conceive of thinking that way about other sx-doms.

But those are typically fringe cases. For an example of what's closer to the norm--this conversation between the two of us. Here, you're are asking questions out of curiosity, attempting to understand a point of view, rather than asserting some polarized view and jumping to conclusions.

People peg me as sx-last, and I think it fits.


I can totally see this being true.

ow wow...i'm not sure what to make of that.

 

[Avocado]

So/Sp is the grad school student who enjoys having career-related small talk with acquantinces at Starbucks. Kind of a Fe and Si-ish vibe.

Kind of...
If an ENFP is So/Sp...
We go off on tangents and get distracted easily...
We tend to be cautious about how we say things, though...

I'd describe it more as the ultimate "nice guy."

 

[Haven]

So/Sp is the grad school student who enjoys having career-related small talk with acquantinces at Starbucks. Kind of a Fe and Si-ish vibe.

Heyyy I enjoy those talks, though I never went to grad school

Anyway I don't think I know any sx doms, but if I met one I'm sure they would quickly become bored with me and move on.

 

[JocktheMotie]

When taken too far, sx-man is the prosecutor, while the recipient is the dude on the witness stand who gets subjected to all sorts of polarizing, targeted questions (which are actually more like statements); twists of his answers to fit some agenda; and.. well, sheer pressure. J'accuse! As long as one learns to not play along, though, it's not so bad.

My personal imagery is more of a mad surgeon strapping patients to my table, hooked up to all sorts of evil monitoring machinery as I poke around their exposed brain while they're still awake. I suppose a prosecutor works too, but it lacks the feel of visceral invasion.

 

[RaptorWizard]

Do Sx doms tend to be the craziest and most radical variant?

 

[Avocado]

Do Sx doms tend to be the craziest and most radical variant?

I think so, and Sx last will be the most conservative...

 

[Amargith]

That depends on your definition of crazy and radical, imho.

 

[Avocado]

That depends on your definition of crazy and radical, imho.

So, what is it like to be a biologist?

 

[Lady_X]

That depends on your definition of crazy and radical, imho.

that was my thought too.

really how would i know what it looks like to a non sx dom?

 

[Amargith]

So, what is it like to be a biologist?

I'm a biologist? Why is it that nobody told me?

 

[Avocado]

I'm a biologist? Why is it that nobody told me?

Wow, you're not a wildlife biologist? I could have sworn you were by the way you type…

I pictured you being a woman that travels to exotic islands all over the world to take notes on rare species…

How far off was I?

 

[Amargith]

Wow, you're not a wildlife biologist? I could have sworn you were by the way you type…

I pictured you being a woman that travels to exotic islands all over the world to take notes on rare species…

How far off was I?

I'm an amateur armchair psychologist/ethologist/wildlife biologist, aka Animal Planet and National Geographic were my drug of choice growing up. The closest I get is that I have an education in Animal Behaviorism, somewhat, and that I'm a trained translator and speak a lot of languages (and have visited some - mostly European - countries).

Sorry to disappoint

 

[Elfboy]

Oh gawd I h8 those people with a passion

some of them are alright, but I hate the ones who subtly (even passive-aggressively) try to one up you. a pissing contest with a pseudo-intellectual twist is still a pissing contest.

 

[Cimarron]

Do you experience being sx-last in some kind of way that is deficient? I mean, I know for instance that I suck at sp stuff, and those things do tend to pile up on me, getting in the way of things till I address them. Do you notice somethign similar being sx-last?

Of course. It's easy to feel envious at how "simple" it seems for sx-doms to become close with another person. And every time I think I've overreacted beyond the wildest emotional bounds, that's the only time people seem to notice I'm concerned or bothered by something (unless they know me really well and can read other subconscious signals). And they don't think it was anywhere near overreacting. But as sp/so, overreacting is the worst thing in the world.

 

[Avocado]

Of course. It's easy to feel envious at how "simple" it seems for sx-doms to become close with another person. And every time I think I've overreacted beyond the wildest emotional bounds, that's the only time people seem to notice I'm concerned or bothered by something (unless they know me really well and can read other subconscious signals). And they don't think it was anywhere near overreacting. But as sp/so, overreacting is the worst thing in the world.

I have the same problem as an So/Sp. I can relate to feeling like people only care if you are over-the-top, though I think being an ISTJ could only make that problem a lot worse than what I go through...
The bad thing about being ENFP and Sx-last is that you have all of these deep feelings, and you get easily hurt, but you are afraid to show those emotions because it might hurt others...

 

[the state i am in]

Do Sx doms tend to be the craziest and most radical variant?

not necessarily. they will rely on others' definition of the situation the least, whereas so/sp, will rely on others' definition of the situation the most. sx doesn't check in with other people's expectations nearly as much. it does so more strategically in the process of directing and influencing and progressing towards a goal that is highly personal.

like in sex, for instance, it's not that inherent, oh, i've gotta meet the other person's expectations before i can fulfill myself. it just focuses more so on where it's going, and assumes others have a responsibility to influence and express and go after their own fulfillment. it's perspective when relating is one based on fulfillment, on deepest desire, not expectations or agreements or commitment to roles. when it's trying to be validated by others, it doesn't wait to see what validation they have to offer, it tries to win the validation it wants by conquering them, by identifying with the power, the raw attraction, flowing through the situation and wielding it.

so/sp types can be in this mode too, but it's often more formal, and more unaware of what is driving it. i know so/sp types that just want to be exactly whatever it is that others want, and i know so/sp types that unconsciously act out their desires in ways that presume a distance by attributing their own contradictions to the social games they find themselves in in order to distance from themselves, to obscure an unwillingness to really own their own conflict. this is the kind of legalese so/sp type, the one who knows how to hold down the fort and maintain their own territory in social space, but has lost a more personal connection to themselves.

other so/sp types are hyperreactive to others, and constantly wait for the other to express themselves before responding. a kind of hypervigilance to other's truth, to the detriment of their own that only comes from staying with themselves, their own experience, noticing what is arising, and owning their own feelings. otherwise there's no center, no grounding that isn't fixation, and they often feel like they are drifting away when the moods outside of them change or shift.

 

[Avocado]

not necessarily. they will rely on others' definition of the situation the least, whereas so/sp, will rely on others' definition of the situation the most. sx doesn't check in with other people's expectations nearly as much. it does so more strategically in the process of directing and influencing and progressing towards a goal that is highly personal.

like in sex, for instance, it's not that inherent, oh, i've gotta meet the other person's expectations before i can fulfill myself. it just focuses more so on where it's going, and assumes others have a responsibility to influence and express and go after their own fulfillment. it's perspective when relating is one based on fulfillment, on deepest desire, not expectations or agreements or commitment to roles. when it's trying to be validated by others, it doesn't wait to see what validation they have to offer, it tries to win the validation it wants by conquering them, by identifying with the power, the raw attraction, flowing through the situation and wielding it.

so/sp types can be in this mode too, but it's often more formal, and more unaware of what is driving it. i know so/sp types that just want to be exactly whatever it is that others want, and i know so/sp types that unconsciously act out their desires in ways that presume a distance by attributing their own contradictions to the social games they find themselves in in order to distance from themselves, to obscure an unwillingness to really own their own conflict. this is the kind of legalese so/sp type, the one who knows how to hold down the fort and maintain their own territory in social space, but has lost a more personal connection to themselves.

other so/sp types are hyperreactive to others, and constantly wait for the other to express themselves before responding. a kind of hypervigilance to other's truth, to the detriment of their own that only comes from staying with themselves, their own experience, noticing what is arising, and owning their own feelings. otherwise there's no center, no grounding that isn't fixation, and they often feel like they are drifting away when the moods outside of them change or shift.

Precisely! I am the first kind of So/Sp…
I am curious as to how I may develop Sx.
Sx-last and Fi-aux together form a kind of oxymoron…
But there I am…
The only combination between instincts, MBTI, and enneagram that is stranger than mine is [MENTION=5871]Southern Kross[/MENTION]

 

[the state i am in]

Precisely! I am the first kind of So/Sp…
I am curious as to how I may develop Sx.
Sx-last and Fi-aux together form a kind of oxymoron…
But there I am…
The only combination between instincts, MBTI, and enneagram that is stranger than mine is [MENTION=5871]Southern Kross[/MENTION]

you also get counterphobic tendencies sometimes with 6, altho with so/sp the stress is generally pretty extreme for this to be the case. whereas sx 6s have so much stress already, so much internal conflict, that they're always somewhat oppositional by default, and it's only much work that relaxes that tension.

i think one develops sx by staying in first person perspective. noticing what is happening within you, rather than drifting into other's presumed experience. stay with your own, and notice when you are drifting. if you are home, even when you are out in the world, you will hear yourself more.

 

[Avocado]

you also get counterphobic tendencies sometimes with 6, altho with so/sp the stress is generally pretty extreme for this to be the case. whereas sx 6s have so much stress already, so much internal conflict, that they're always somewhat oppositional by default, and it's only much work that relaxes that tension.

i think one develops sx by staying in first person perspective. noticing what is happening within you, rather than drifting into other's presumed experience. stay with your own, and notice when you are drifting. if you are home, even when you are out in the world, you will hear yourself more.

I notice that whenever I am writing my fantasy novels, the characters I drift into are often a small segment of myself...
Characters are fragments of myself...