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[so] You know you´re a Social dom when...

The Great One

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Well, for one thing, the "hivemind" around me might not like me trying to be overtly different and might hurt me, OR somebody might misinterpret my having fun and my desire to stand out as a personal flaw...
...The way the world works now, I must think far into the future about every little decision I make.

This is because you live with uptight, closed-minded, SJ parents with a stick up their ass. I feel bad for you.
 
S

Stansmith

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Do you think it's possible for an So-first to become a porn actress? That's like the ultimate anti-So profession. Only So-doms I can see doing it are So/Sx 7s or 8w7s.


I say porn actresses because I feel like the male "peer group" considers it less taboo for men to sleep around for a living. Lots of men envy famous porn actors, whereas not as many women are gonna look up to porn actresses.
 

wolfy

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I feel incredibly or subtly self-conscious when doing things like eating in public or even pulling out a book on the subway as if everyone around me is watching me vigilantly as I do it, whereas I'd imagine So-lasts being completely oblivious to this feeling.

This is one is funny. I am sometimes oblivious like that and have it pointed out. People seem to find it amusing.
 

EJCC

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Even when you don't get along with someone or break up with someone, you still want to leave things on good terms so everyone can co-exist in the same group.
YES.
When you find sx-doms chasing after you, hands and arms outstretched, wanting to grab and do stuff to you?

Or am I the only one who does this? :huh:
:laugh: Not actually the case with me. I usually have to be the one to chase people down, even if they're sx-first. It gets tiring, but if you want something to happen and no one's making it happen, then it's your job to get it done.

Yet another sign of being So-dom (and an extrovert): When you suddenly aren't sure whether your "role" in the group as their event-host and event-planner is even wanted, because no one hosts or plans anything when you aren't there.
My point being, I don't think the variants necessarily force or repress behavior so much as they create higher levels of awareness of how your actions will impact a certain sphere, so you may be more or less likely to act because you understand the consequences of those actions more or less fully.
^ [MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION], this is a better way of phrasing what I was trying to tell you about instincts on your other thread today.
 

HongDou

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Do you think it's possible for an So-first to become a porn actress? That's like the ultimate anti-So profession. Only So-doms I can see doing it are So/Sx 7s or 8w7s.

I wouldn't want it as a profession. Though I've always considered making a video or two with my partner for fun. ;)

I feel incredibly or subtly self-conscious when doing things like eating in public or even pulling out a book on the subway as if everyone around me is watching me vigilantly as I do it, whereas I'd imagine So-lasts being completely oblivious to this feeling.

It depends for me - I never go to the city by myself so I actually only tend to focus on the people I'm with and forget about everyone else. In fact, my friends had to shush me today because I ended up swearing in front of a child and her mother next to us because I didn't realize they were here at all. If I was by myself though I'd probably be a lot more composed because I'd be much more aware of who was around me since there'd be no one to focus on.

When my friends shushed me though I ended up feeling like shit on the bus ride home because they lectured me about it. It's probably the Fi talking but I don't want to change parts about myself or my actions just because of random strangers around me. I should be allowed to do and say what I want. Harmony is fine and all but it's just swearing. I never understood the whole "bad words" thing in the first place. When did certain words gain such a negative stigma attached to them?
 

Avocado

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I wouldn't want it as a profession. Though I've always considered making a video or two with my partner for fun. ;)



It depends for me - I never go to the city by myself so I actually only tend to focus on the people I'm with and forget about everyone else. In fact, my friends had to shush me today because I ended up swearing in front of a child and her mother next to us because I didn't realize they were here at all. If I was by myself though I'd probably be a lot more composed because I'd be much more aware of who was around me since there'd be no one to focus on.

When my friends shushed me though I ended up feeling like shit on the bus ride home because they lectured me about it. It's probably the Fi talking but I don't want to change parts about myself or my actions just because of random strangers around me. I should be allowed to do and say what I want. Harmony is fine and all but it's just swearing. I never understood the whole "bad words" thing in the first place. When did certain words gain such a negative stigma attached to them?

People invented words a long time ago they decided they would never use.
 
S

Stansmith

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I wouldn't want it as a profession. Though I've always considered making a video or two with my partner for fun. ;)



It depends for me - I never go to the city by myself so I actually only tend to focus on the people I'm with and forget about everyone else. In fact, my friends had to shush me today because I ended up swearing in front of a child and her mother next to us because I didn't realize they were here at all. If I was by myself though I'd probably be a lot more composed because I'd be much more aware of who was around me since there'd be no one to focus on.

When my friends shushed me though I ended up feeling like shit on the bus ride home because they lectured me about it. It's probably the Fi talking but I don't want to change parts about myself or my actions just because of random strangers around me. I should be allowed to do and say what I want. Harmony is fine and all but it's just swearing. I never understood the whole "bad words" thing in the first place. When did certain words gain such a negative stigma attached to them?

I can relate. I feel like once I tap into my secondary-Sx, my So-awareness dwindles significantly.
 

HongDou

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I can relate. I feel like once I tap into my secondary-Sx, my So-awareness dwindles significantly.

I actually don't think it's secondary sx. I think it's just so prioritizing who it's important to focus on and who isn't if there are different levels of people in the area. If we're alone, everyone is a stranger so we should either talk to the person sitting next to us or just be quiet until we reach our destination. If you're with friends among strangers, it's more important to act like yourself around your friends than to act like you're one of the fellow strangers around your friends.
 

The Great One

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Do you think it's possible for an So-first to become a porn actress? That's like the ultimate anti-So profession. Only So-doms I can see doing it are So/Sx 7s or 8w7s.


I say porn actresses because I feel like the male "peer group" considers it less taboo for men to sleep around for a living. Lots of men envy famous porn actors, whereas not as many women are gonna look up to porn actresses.

Yes it's possible for a SO dom to become a porn actress. Look up an HBO show called, "Sexpert" with Katie Morgan or whatever. The woman is a clear ESFP 7w6 so/sx.
[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]

Ok I see what you mean now.
 

TaylorS

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Wanting desperately to fit in even though you are the shy, sensitive autistic introvert with strange interests. Being a 6 makes it even worse. :(
 

TaylorS

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...in a group situation and someone says-does something that alienates several listeners with no solution offered and you feel the urge to mediate or offer an alternative perspective to ease the tension of the group.

This sounds exactly like me when I'm with my fellow socialists and the Maoist, the other Trotskyist, and the Anarchist start getting into petty sectarian arguments... :mad:
 

SpankyMcFly

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This sounds exactly like me when I'm with my fellow socialists and the Maoist, the other Trotskyist, and the Anarchist start getting into petty sectarian arguments... :mad:

What an interesting group of friends :)

I once had someone comment that, in so many words, only Fe users could be So doms (a fellow ventrilo member). Which doesn't make sense at all to me. I can care about the group without necessarily "caring" so much about constituent members "feelings" per se. I dunno how to explain it really.

I usually think/feel "Why can't we all just get along?!" But then my inner realist comes along and reminds me, "ain't gonna happen". What a buzz killer.
 

EJCC

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[MENTION=8584]SpankyMcFly[/MENTION] I think I relate. In my case it's often a feeling of: it would be SO much more convenient if everyone got along. But when they don't, then I have to do all this extra maneuvering, and it's so much WORK... :laugh: And, more seriously, I feel like one of the best comparisons would be to patriotism. You can care about your country and follow how it interacts with other countries, without giving a shit about actual individual citizens (except maybe those closest to you).
 

TaylorS

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What an interesting group of friends :)

I once had someone comment that, in so many words, only Fe users could be So doms (a fellow ventrilo member). Which doesn't make sense at all to me. I can care about the group without necessarily "caring" so much about constituent members "feelings" per se. I dunno how to explain it really.

I usually think/feel "Why can't we all just get along?!" But then my inner realist comes along and reminds me, "ain't gonna happen". What a buzz killer.

"Why can't we all just get along?!" is something close to my personal motto! :)
 

Turtle

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My big so-dom thing is that I can't listen to music super loudly (even through headphones) if I am sitting next to or near someone who could hear it. I am afraid that they will judge my music, or be annoyed by it, etc. I always keep checking to make sure that my headphones are sufficiently plugged in so that the sound doesn't "escape." Nothing worse than when you think the sound is coming from your headphones but it is actually coming from your phone, and everyone can hear it. :p

I also might talk to people near me with the intention that someone else hear what I am saying indirectly. If I like someone (like a crush), I might talk to a friend about something that I know my crush likes, even if he isn't around! I guess it's on the off-chance that he pops up or hears about the conversation through said friend or another bystander. I also CANNOT gossip in public. I am always paranoid that the person I'm talking about will be hiding nearby or something.
 
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Growing up I'd feel like everything was a joke that everyone should laugh along to. I felt for a longer time that an enthusiastic disposition was enough to make friends, or make people happy. I possessed a willful insistence that unity with acceptable and accepting people was worth having faith in, and clinging to in spite of your insecurities.

That's one way to know you're social, I guess: frequently using people to prove you're not a negligibly dysfunctional, human fragment.
 
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