[so] You know you´re a Social dom when...

[SpankyMcFly]

...in a group situation and someone says-does something that alienates several listeners with no solution offered and you feel the urge to mediate or offer an alternative perspective to ease the tension of the group.

Those Sx people have their thread. About time we had ours!

 

[skylights]

When one pauses to consider whether all of the other Social doms will agree with their statement before posting here.

 

[HongDou]

When one pauses to consider whether all of the other Social doms will agree with their statement before posting here.

LOL! Yes.

When a teacher says "work in pairs" and you frantically look around for someone you like before someone else takes them.

 

[Southern Kross]

When a teacher says "work in pairs" and you frantically look around for someone you like before someone else takes them.

That, or you groan in sheer misery at the thought of having to awkwardly navigate the complex social environment to find someone, knowing you'll probably get stuck in the reject pile anyway.

 

[Stansmith]

When you're in a quiet classroom, the professor hasn't come in yet, and you're sort of wondering why people aren't socializing.

 

[Elfboy]

- when you easily make and keep track of contacts
- when you feel isolated when you're not part of a group
- when you easily stay up to date with all communities you are a part (whether they're circles of friends, business circles, hobbies etc)
- when you easily know how to maneuver your way around the complex web of social connections to get to the person with whom you want to speak
- when you think most people hold a narrow minded view of the world and need to increase their "global perspective" beyond simply that which directly impacts them

 

[Honor]

- when you easily make and keep track of contacts
- when you feel isolated when you're not part of a group
- when you easily stay up to date with all communities you are a part (whether they're circles of friends, business circles, hobbies etc)
- when you easily know how to maneuver your way around the complex web of social connections to get to the person with whom you want to speak
- when you think most people hold a narrow minded view of the world and need to increase their "global perspective" beyond simply that which directly impacts them

Wow, this guy's good. All of this I found spot on.

 

[Stansmith]

- when you easily make and keep track of contacts
- when you feel isolated when you're not part of a group
- when you easily stay up to date with all communities you are a part (whether they're circles of friends, business circles, hobbies etc)
- when you easily know how to maneuver your way around the complex web of social connections to get to the person with whom you want to speak
- when you think most people hold a narrow minded view of the world and need to increase their "global perspective" beyond simply that which directly impacts them

Can't relate to these. I could see myself developing the 4th one eventually though.

 

[Honor]

Here's one:

Even when you don't get along with someone or break up with someone, you still want to leave things on good terms so everyone can co-exist in the same group.

 

[HongDou]

That, or you groan in sheer misery at the thought of having to awkwardly navigate the complex social environment to find someone, knowing you'll probably get stuck in the reject pile anyway.

Oh god, that's definitely the case for me if I haven't found that one person I can cling to.

 

[Bamboo]

Most of this just sounds like having some basic social skill/awareness. But I suppose some people are more interested in this than others.

I feel like most everyone who interacts with others feels some stress about picking out a partner, has to navigate social circles, and considers making sacrifices to better the group dynamic.

 

[Southern Kross]

- when you easily make and keep track of contacts
- when you feel isolated when you're not part of a group
- when you easily stay up to date with all communities you are a part (whether they're circles of friends, business circles, hobbies etc)
- when you easily know how to maneuver your way around the complex web of social connections to get to the person with whom you want to speak
- when you think most people hold a narrow minded view of the world and need to increase their "global perspective" beyond simply that which directly impacts them

A lot of these are probably true for Extroverted Social-doms, but not for me.

The bolded is the only one that's true for me, although the underlined one is true sometimes but rarely.

 

[skylights]

Here's one:

Even when you don't get along with someone or break up with someone, you still want to leave things on good terms so everyone can co-exist in the same group.

Yes, definitely. I don't feel like I always have to like people, but I want to be on decent terms with them so we can coexist in harmony. Preferably far away from each other, but I'd like to be able to interact peacefully with them, if only on principle.

IRT Elfboy's list, personally, I don't easily make or keep track of contacts - I am shy and forgetful! I have quite a number of communities I am a part of and catch up periodically but am rarely if ever caught up with all of them. More like they get ahold of me and catch me up. I am pretty good at a navigating to speak to someone and I do often think people need to increase their perspective.

As for not being a part of groups, it's complex. If everyone else seems to be in symmetric groups and I am odd one out, I do feel isolated. If they are groups I'm not interested in joining, then I don't really care. If there is a group I am not part of but want to join, it is more of a yearning to be accepted than a feeling of isolation. I feel overbooked more than isolated.

Oh god, that's definitely the case for me if I haven't found that one person I can cling to.

Right?! WHERE IS MY PERSON

 

[HongDou]

When you feel discouraged after the group you're with casts a bit of judgment on you.

 

[Stansmith]

When you have to wait for the Sx-firsts in the room to initiate something before you do it.

So-first: I wonder if we can ____ here

*Sees a few sx-firsts ____ because they feel like it. So-first sees it as affirmation that they can do it too, but may still feel initially self-conscious since most people aren't ________ing"

 

[Stansmith]

I feel incredibly or subtly self-conscious when doing things like eating in public or even pulling out a book on the subway as if everyone around me is watching me vigilantly as I do it, whereas I'd imagine So-lasts being completely oblivious to this feeling.

 

[FDG]

When you have to wait for the Sx-firsts in the room to initiate something before you do it.

So-first: I wonder if we can ____ here

*Sees a few sx-firsts ____ because they feel like it. So-first sees it as affirmation that they can do it too, but may still feel initially self-conscious since most people aren't ________ing"

Lol, I typically am the one who starts doing stuff while others are waiting. Yeah I often don't get why they are waiting, especially when it's not something indecent.

I feel incredibly or subtly self-conscious when doing things like eating in public or even pulling out a book on the subway as if everyone around me is watching me vigilantly as I do it, whereas I'd imagine So-lasts being completely oblivious to this feeling.

Of course I have this feeling too, as social last, when it comes to anything I deem inappropriate in public. But I can't see how pulling out a book can be inappropriate?

 

[Lady_X]

I feel incredibly or subtly self-conscious when doing things like eating in public or even pulling out a book on the subway as if everyone around me is watching me vigilantly as I do it, whereas I'd imagine So-lasts being completely oblivious to this feeling.

Haha that's totally true for me. I'm completely oblivious most times about that sort of thing. It wouldn't usually occur to me to consider what something I do might look like to someone else.

 

[Stansmith]

Haha that's totally true for me. I'm completely oblivious most times about that sort of thing. It wouldn't usually occur to me to consider what something I do might look like to someone else.

Yeah, you guys will just be chowing down on a double whopper on public transit, while I'll be carefullynibbling on my Doritos.

Of course I have this feeling too, as social last, when it comes to anything I deem inappropriate in public. But I can't see how pulling out a book can be inappropriate?

I feel like people are gonna judge the book I'm reading or analyze all of my micro movements.

 

[thoughtlost]

I feel incredibly or subtly self-conscious when doing things like eating in public or even pulling out a book on the subway as if everyone around me is watching me vigilantly as I do it, whereas I'd imagine So-lasts being completely oblivious to this feeling.

I thought not being conscious of what others are doing was an extraverted thing, I never realized that it was a social variant thing. I've been dancing in public (like while shopping ...and I am not a good dancer) ever since I knew how to walk. I'm usually the first person in a group to get up and get food instead of doing that stupid awkward thing where everyone waits until the first person gets up.

How did you conclude that it was an expression of being So-last?