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[sx] Sx doms and people with strong sx + being around people that you don't like

The Great One

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So what is it like for sx doms and people with strong sx to be around people that they don't like? I would theorize that they have a difficult time being around people that they don't like? Personally, if I don't vibe with a person, right off the bat, then I pretty much just don't talk to them. It's like I just feel no connection to this person, so why should I talk to them? People often view this as being "cold" or "rude", but it's like I just can't help it. Sx doms and people with strong sx, what's it like to be around people that you don't like?
[MENTION=6877]Marmotini[/MENTION]
[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]
[MENTION=18664]Stansmith[/MENTION]

You folks might want to check out this thread.
 
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Stansmith

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I just sort of say "yeah" and give them a closed mouth smile.
 
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Stansmith

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How difficult is it for you to be around them though.

Hard. Sometimes I don't mind and I just entertain myself through banter. An entire day would be terrible, but I can handle a 5-10 minute walk to the train.

If I'm at lunch and they're the only person i know there, I might sit for a few moments and see if we can find some sort of spark, otherwise I'll just finish my food and make up an excuse to leave.
 

The Great One

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Hard. Sometimes I don't mind and I just entertain myself through banter. An entire day would be terrible, but I can handle a 5-10 minute walk to the train.

If I'm at lunch and they're the only person i know there, I might sit for a few moments and see if we can find some sort of spark, otherwise I'll just finish my food and make up an excuse to leave.

I relate completely. However, I would ask, "What percentage of people can you successfully click with?" For me it's a very small amount of people.
 
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Stansmith

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I relate completely. However, I would ask, "What percentage of people can you successfully click with?" For me it's a very small amount of people.

I really can't say. If you're talking about people ive actually had a long lasting chemistry with, its a small number.
 

The Great One

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I've had friends who were So/Sp, but I can't see it working in intimate situation at all.

Yeah I don't work well with women that are sx last either. I just feel like there's no intensity between us. It's like that movie "Ghost" with Patrick Swayze. I feel like I'm the woman reaching out to kiss my S.O. and it's like they are invisible and aren't even there. It's like you just feel nothing between one another.
 

Lady_X

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i just shut them out. i can't maintain negative feelings for very long so if the person didn't just recently piss me off i won't be feeling anger. i'll just be not giving a shit. maybe a bit disgusted and wish they'd go away...but mostly just sort of pretend they they're not there...and how i feel will be known. they won't be under any misconception that things are fine.

edit: actually...i have been in situations where it's important that i be civil...so...i will be.
 

Evil Otter

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Had this happen at work recently actually. New guy came in, didn't like him from day one and it only got worse. I started assigning him tasks that got him out of the office just because I didn't have to be around him. Then one glorious day my supervisor asked for my opinion of whether we should keep him or bring back a guy that had been transferred but was once again in limbo, I made a compelling argument about how the other guy was better suited to the work we were doing and the dynamics of the office. Bye, bye new guy and good riddance.
 

Amargith

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I tend to get restless, bored or uncomfortable as im acutely aware the click just aint there. Sonetimes ill be able to figure out why it aint there and repair it though when im forced to be around them so that works :shrug:
 

Thursday

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I see people I dislike as a projected image of them, and not an actual person to engage with. By chance that I have to talk with them, I swallow my tongue and keep my sentences short yet compassionate.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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There's only a couple things that turn me off completely about anyone else : arrogance ( intellectual ) and entitlement. Otherwise, I can get along with you.
 

Kierva

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I just put up a face for the sake of harmony... but don't expect me to keep that up for very long.

More often than not, I will look for any avenue to remove myself from that situation.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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@Great One

You don't have to believe me about being sx-first, but I'd like to chime in anyway.

For me, there's a very on/off energy. I may or may not be a true introvert, but most people would likely find me introverted--if I don't feel something special going on between us, I simply withdraw into my own mind. I stare out the window. I get lost in thought. This happens between me and most people. I'm perceived as cold, unfriendly, rude, shy, introverted, standoffish, whatever. I'd honestly rather sit inside my own head and think about my own shit than try to force a boring conversation. I've learned to give lots of "polite" answers to get people off my back (that's nice! Oh, I'm glad to hear that) etc.

On the other hand, if someone intrigues me, you'd never know how introverted I can be. Once, travelling across the US on a Greyhound, I met this sooper interesting person, and basically we talked for about 12 hours straight about all kinds of random stuff (most of it was trivial bullshit, so I can't use the "Introverted 5-winger" argument about me avoiding "inane conversation"). I was like, shaking with excitement the whole time, and the bus driver was like, You're grown adults! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.

That's the on/off energy flow as near as I can tell. I just can't muster interest in people who don't strike me that way. It's not that I dislike them--it's just not the way I feel pulled to interact. It's not necessarily dependent on instinctual stacking, because I have a sp/soc 8w7 friend who I can blab away to forever--he's the most damn interesting human being ever.

If there actually is someone I actively dislike, that's quite different. It's also quite rare--I am tolerant of most, even if they don't interest me. If I dislike someone, I'm likely to avoid them, or else will pathologize them in my head whenever we interact. I might be polite (get along to go along) but I can't do that indefinitely. If the dislike is mutual, blows will probably come to blows, and I don't really care.
 

Qlip

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eh, I'm around people I can't stand often enough, usually at work. There's no reason to not be civil, and there's no reason to pretend that I like them. Sometimes you just have to get shit done, liking isn't necessary.
 

The Great One

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But is this an Sx thing though I wonder? What are sx last people like around people that they don't connect with?
 

Monomaniac

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"I was like, shaking with excitement the whole time..."

Wow, this sounds eerily familiar! Do many other sx types get this overpowering surge of energy if you gel with somebody? Whenever I connect with someone (usually it's only a romantic interest) there's this inexorable flow of energy that simply must flow out of me somehow, and whenever I'm not speaking or active during discourse with said person, it manifests as this nervous but excited shaking. Sometimes it's so intense I'm physically sick because of it. :alttongue:

I'm not entirely sure of my instinctual variant yet, but threads like this are great for trying to establish it.
 
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