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[sx] Sx-doms and Limerence

Maou

Mythos
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
6,117
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Ive never experienced Limerance, let alone love. I am kinda envious of people who can.
 

notmyapples

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
Messages
398
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I can see why sx-doms would experience a sort of limerence often, sx has a need to feel desired.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hello, my name is Luminous and I'm a limerent.

I've endured limerence that lasted for years (only to be extinguished after I learned the person is homosexual and there is zero chance of reciprocation.) And I've had a bout of limerence about a fictional character (which you might argue, is not truly limerence since there is no possibility of reciprocation, but it felt the same otherwise). No, you may not know who the character is, though I will say I've seen him typed as INTx.

I truly thought everyone felt these feelings - that these feelings are what falling in love is. I do wonder: How do those who fall in love without limerence experience that love? How is that in love different from just love?

When I realized I am prone to OCD type thoughts, I looked back and realized that my first limerence was a good example of my tendencies. The main difference is that with limerence, for me, there is far more pleasure, than with the other subjects. And it's most certainly like a drug. A beautiful expansive horrible drug.


Well, I think I understand SO variants the least, tbh. And am not sure if I've met an sx/so IRL. What I don't understand about SO is not why it wants to relate (I get that as an SX), I don't understand why it STOPS relating at a certain point if you get my drift and can stay broader vs deeper. I don't get that at all -- why would anyone want to just stop there? Lol.

I don't understand this, either. Say, so/sx... do they experience limerence? Are they more likely than sx doms to have it end when their feelings are reciprocated?
 

Amberiat

Infinity
Joined
Mar 10, 2018
Messages
1,233
This is something which I will admit I do experience from time to time and while it creates what I would call a state of Nirvana in the mind it also creates emotional vulnerability which, at least in my case is extremely undesirable.
 

Yuurei

Noncompliant
Joined
Sep 29, 2016
Messages
4,509
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Hello, my name is Luminous and I'm a limerent.

I've endured limerence that lasted for years (only to be extinguished after I learned the person is homosexual and there is zero chance of reciprocation.) And I've had a bout of limerence about a fictional character (which you might argue, is not truly limerence since there is no possibility of reciprocation, but it felt the same otherwise). No, you may not know who the character is, though I will say I've seen him typed as INTx.

I truly thought everyone felt these feelings - that these feelings are what falling in love is. I do wonder: How do those who fall in love without limerence experience that love? How is that in love different from just love?

When I realized I am prone to OCD type thoughts, I looked back and realized that my first limerence was a good example of my tendencies. The main difference is that with limerence, for me, there is far more pleasure, than with the other subjects. And it's most certainly like a drug. A beautiful expansive horrible drug.




I don't understand this, either. Say, so/sx... do they experience limerence? Are they more likely than sx doms to have it end when their feelings are reciprocated?

I have done that couple of times. And, I might be doing this entirely backwards but I find it less...unhealthy than having limerence for real people.

While people I've spoken to about it hav found it utterly creepy " They aren't even real. That's unnatural!" but for me having these feelings for real people is so much more creepy to me.

For example I found myself quite fond of a character from a live action show...so I did-what by my understanding- is normal and started looking up pictures of the actor. It made me feel...skeevy like some sort of stalker. That actor is a real person. Not an object of idealization and I stopped these thoughts from continuing any further.

A fictional character though; who cares if I has tons and tons of pictures of them? Who cares if I read shit putting them in less than ideal, out of character, or embarrassing situations? There is nothing wrong with objectifying an object...not even, just a random assortment of concepts.

I have noticed though, that I tend to do this not so much with characters which I "like" but more whom I can relate to. ( Or, maybe "the ones I like" ARE the ones I can relate to) I feel ignored, overlooked the vast majority of the time so I guess that clinging to characters in which I see a lot of myself -who are popular- must give me some sense of comfort or validation.
Or, as it has JUST occurred to me, maybe the reciprocation I'm looking for is not the characters but the real people who love them:
" You LOVE these fictional characters so damned much, why don't you assholes even give me the time of day!?" Kind of thing.


Oh, and I am an Sx dom but if anything, it may be more of an Sx/Sp thing; wanting very much to be social but being so very ad at it.

...or perhaps i just need A LOT of therapy.
 

j.c.t.

New member
Joined
Jul 6, 2018
Messages
387
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Yeah I get that, not very often and definitely not with fictional characters. It's one of those rare times (since I was a teenager) when I feel intensively many days in a row, I may even cry, which is extremely rare these days. But I'm quick to get over it if things don't go according to plan, there's no need to brood, gotta move on.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have noticed though, that I tend to do this not so much with characters which I "like" but more whom I can relate to. ( Or, maybe "the ones I like" ARE the ones I can relate to) I feel ignored, overlooked the vast majority of the time so I guess that clinging to characters in which I see a lot of myself -who are popular- must give me some sense of comfort or validation.

The character in my case is one I could relate to in some sense, and, quite importantly, was dealing with a unusual situation that helped me process a discovery of my own. I would have found him attractive regardless, but that added emotional component probably pushed it over the edge.
 
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