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The 4 most people envision is the social last or sexual dominant (there seems to be an Sp and/or Sx bias in the way most types in general are described on here), but what does a Social dominant 4 look like? Are they more (reluctantly) conformist?
I am a social 4. It's a tug of war on some issues. Who isn't conflicted/confused sometimes about issues that matter to them? My tug of wars often involve feeling fake or conforming and going along to get along vs. do the "right" thing and being "real". Learning to choose your battles minimizes this.
I’m really beginning to question the idea that softness and non-competitive nature automatically equals social instinct, and in this case, social 4.
I don’t like the Naranjo descriptions and I don’t understand why they continue to be used without being scrutinized for accuracy (do these subtypes actually look like this in real life?). I at least, don’t.
By the way, EIIs are typically and often, described as shy and “bashful.â€
Here we see what the FiNe looks like with just the first function conscious. There’s an exceedingly passive, recessive energy at play as well as a giddy bashfulness and reviser doubt. The body hesitates, the eyes dart around, there are long drawn out pauses between sentences or words, and a strong sense of privacy that is also simultaneously delicate. When they retreat inward, it does not neutralize emotions (Fi) but instead augments them in a personal way (Fi).
The delta types have a variety of energies which manifest from different developments. On one hand, their energies may be militant, bureaucratic and business-like. One the other, they can be dreamy, forlorn and whimsical. In most cases they’re at least a little bit quirky, and share a certain aura of eccentric practicality and historical affinity.
If the delta is proactive, they will often be quick witted and clever. Like gamma types, they will retain a degree of distance between themselves and others, but their energy isn’t so much poised as it is elusive or flighty – like a butterfly who plays with you, but which you can’t quite catch. As they drift from topic to topic they leave a sparkly trail behind which others may find magical. Yet, their fantastical energy can also appear tragic, as they radiate a raw emotional atmosphere which can be as merry as it can be pained.
Conducting deltas can also take well to logistical positions and practicality. For these types, their energy will be a bit uppity and responsible, like the old librarian lady who asks you to keep it to a whisper. Or the strict inspector who leaves out no detail in the report. Here, their Fi particularity translates over into logistical particularity. Notwithstanding this aura, even conductor deltas will carry a somewhat humorous or witty edge to them, which accompanies their every word and gesture.
[h=5]Fi+Ne: The Fairy[/h] This type is the epitome of the Fi fairy archetype, and the most like the typical INF description. Very dreamy, with head in the clouds. Child-like and a bit magical. Usually artistic, sensitive, ephemeral and highly receptive to ideas and to the hearts of others. Prone to love experimenting with their own identity and making a somewhat eccentric artpiece of themselves. Colorful. Sing-songy. Whimsical. Almost always seelie, but can also be very private. Very curious. They are deeply affected by the world, but are ever-guarded underneath.
To chalk it all up to social makes zero sense to me. Specially given that sx and so are not close for me, but people sometimes read the NN descriptions and go “oh, social,†even though I have never shown much concern for the social stuff. Unless it’s one of those few things that bothers me.
And it would also also make it sound like se-polrs can’t be sx dom, which yet again, would be a pretty bold claim.
will manifest in roughly two ways in an EII: The first is our virtual obliviousness to our surroundings. Although we tend to be very organized people and feel like our thoughts are fairly organized too, they are quick to leap from one subject to another thanks to , and we often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information running through our minds. EIIs have a tendency to “space out.†We will leave personal belongings in places and fail to notice changes in our environment. We are frequently lost in our own thoughts and can tune out external reality, even in the middle of something like driving or a conversation. This has the potential of causing major problems. More than once I have had to ask someone, “I'm sorry, what were you saying?†only to have them become frustrated at having to repeat themselves and then assuming that I just don't care about what they have to say, which is usually a grossly incorrect assumption. Personally, I have to sort of shift my focus in order to take in stuff going on around me, but it's not long until something I see propels me into thought and I am lost again. I also have a hard time with directions, so getting physically lost is not a difficult feat either. I also don't feel a need to maintain eye contact with people – I can listen and know what they're saying and its emotional context without measuring all their body language and facial expression. Of course, that varies from situation to situation. In any case, I would like to let everyone out there know that it's not because we don't value what you have to say and you shouldn't take it personally. I am being honest when I say that I always mean well – always. Sometimes, negative emotions (mostly anger, not sadness) given off by someone are so strong that I can't bear to look at them.
The second manifestation of our PoLR is a complete aversion to force, aggression, conflict, violence, competition, and the whole idea of bending people and situations to get what one wants. This is where you get the “overly sensitive†aspect of our personalities. If someone says something in a way that is remotely confrontational, we retreat. If someone really wants to argue, we fall silent. If people are fighting, we will either try to settle the disagreement, get up and leave, or both. We will not “intrude on others' space,†whether physically or psychologically. We are virtually incapable of making anyone do anything or refusing a request. No matter how badly we may want something, if you flatly refuse, we are likely to back down, at least after a short while. EIIs do not make things happen – we prefer to wait for them to happen or let someone else take the lead. In those rare occasions where we try to be forceful, we become extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable. It's terrifying. We want everyone to get along, to share their thoughts in an accepting and peaceful discourse. We want everyone to “win†and leave unscarred, and since that seldom happens in an environment, we avoid such environments.
In the Sexual Four subtype, the inner motivation is envy, and its manifestation as competition. These Fours don't feel consciously envious so much as they feel competitive as a way of muting the pain associated with envy. If they can compete against another person they perceive as having more than they do and win, they can feel better about themselves.
Sexual Fours believe it's good to be the best. Most people want to present a good image to others, but Sexual Fours don't care very much about image management or being liked. For them, it's better to be superior. They are highly competitive, and their intense focus on competition takes the form of actively striving to show that they are the best.
People with this subtype tend to have an “all or nothing†belief related to success: if success is not all theirs, they are left with nothing. This pattern leads to excesses related to their efforts to achieve success, and it also generates feelings of hate.
Sexual Fours are usually arrogant, despite having an underlying sense of inferiority. In the face of the pain of feeling misunderstood, an arrogant attitude is adopted as overcompensation- a means of being recognized. These Fours like being part of “chosen†group, and they can be very elitist. They may refuse to feel indebted to anyone, and they may have the sense that they have the exclusive right to feel offended by the lack of consideration of others. Any criticism or reproach is seen as an affront or disqualification.
Envious anger dominates the expression of this subtype's unconscious instinctual impulses. Sexual Fours' deeper instinctual motivation is about a refusal to suffer the pain brought about by envy, and a need to reduce suffering by projecting the responsibility for meeting their needs onto others and minimizing others' accomplishments in comparison with their own.
Sexual Fours “make others suffer†because they feel that they have been made to suffer and so need some sort of compensation. They may seek to hurt or punish others as an unconscious way of repudiating or minimizing their own pain. Naranjo observes that this tendency of this Four can be summed up by the phrase, “Hurt people hurt people.†Externalizing pain helps them ease their inner sense of inferiority. Their relationship to suffering can thus best be understood as a refusal to suffer. This gets expressed as an active insistence on their needs being validated and met. (They want with anger.) More shameless than shameful, Sexual Fours are vocal about expressing their needs; they rebel against any shame connected to their desires. This subtype follows the life philosophy that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.â€
When others experience Sexual Fours as demanding, this can lead to a pattern of rejection and anger: Sexual Fours get mad when others don't meet their needs, but their demanding nature causes people to avoid or reject them, and then they get angry about being rejected. This type can thus get trapped in a vicious cycle when rejection leads to protest and protest leads to rejection.
The Sexual Four is more assertive and angrier than the other subtypes. Naranjo refers to this Four as the “mad Four†as opposed to the “sad†(Social) Four. These Fours can be very outspoken with their anger because expression of anger is their way of defending against painful feelings. When they unconsciously turn their pain into anger, they don't have to feel their pain anymore.
These Fours may even seek to hurt or punish others as a way of repudiating or minimizing their underlying pain. They feel justified in pointing to others as the source of their deprivation or frustration, which serves as both a distraction from their own role in their suffering and a plea for help and understanding.
Naranjo says that this Four subtype can be the angriest personality among the Enneagram types. They may express envious anger as a way to establish or assert power when they feel inferior at a deeper level, which can be a way to manipulate situations to their advantage. (This kind of anger was the impulse between the French revolution: “I envy the rich, so I'll organize a revolution.â€) And Sexual Fours can be very impulsive. They want things immediately and have little tolerance for frustration.
Naranjo calls this type “Competition,†and Ichazo called it “Hate.†While this type can be both hateful and competitive, it is important to remember that the competition and hate expressed by this Four represents a deeper need to project their sense of suffering and inadequacy outward. The painful sense of envy felt by the Sexual Four can motivate a wishing with anger, or a sense of “Ive got to get what I need, both to convince myself that my needs aren't shameful, and to feel better about myself with respect to others.†Their competitiveness and anger is a compensation for and a defense against the hurt they feel underneath.
These Fours like and need emotional intensity. Without intensity, everything can seem unbearably dull and boring. When Sexual Fours want somebody's love, they can be very direct about asking for what they need, or can become “extraordinaryâ€- make themselves seem special and attractive and superior- in an effort to attract it. In line with their natural intensity (fueled by both their heart-based emotional temperament and their sexual instinct), these individuals tend to be more present and available in relationships because they don't deny or avoid many of the factors that can inhibit others relationally, like anger, neediness, competitiveness, arrogance, and having to be liked all the time. However, at times it may prove difficult for them to maintain a loving attitude because they confuse sweetness and benevolence with being false or insincere.
Sexual Fours are most likely to be confused with Type Eights or Sexual Twos. Like Eights, they have easier access to anger than most types, but they differ from Eights in the wider range of emotions they regularly feel. Naranjo points out that Eights often don't need to get angry, whereas this Four frequently feels misunderstood or envious, so they may show anger more often. They can also look like Sexual “Aggressive-Seductive†Twos (because both types can be aggressive and seductive in relationships) but the Sexual Two is more oriented toward pleasing others.
Oh and, Type 3 is what's connected with wanting to "push themselves to always be the best." 4 in and of itself is described as a withdrawn type, who "overuse imagination in search of self." Sexual instinct is defined as concerned with chemistry, attraction, and pair-bonding. The whole sexual 4 description sounds overly 3, and it doesn't make sense to me to assume all sx 4s have that amount of 3 influence. There is nothing in the 4 itself or the sexual instinct, that necessitates that amount of ruthlessness and aggression for "sexual 4." Sexual instinct is not aggressive in terms to socionics Se or force; they are merely more outspoken, and won't back down, compared to others of the same type, yes even EIIs. And they have a 'pointed/penetrating' energy to them. This does not translate into literally wanting to harm someone.
I know that descriptions aren't meant to capture everyone in that population, but the sx 4s I have come across have almost all have said they are not like this.
