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  1. #131
    Give me a fourth dot. The Tsarevich's Avatar
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    Do not relate. To any.

  2. #132
    ιяяєѕιѕтιвlє Ꮆяαѕρ Luminous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metis View Post
    In other words, you're using us to impress your target.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman Jack View Post
    Can't I just be using you because I like you? You know like friends do?
    It's the sx firsts who would be more likely to join a group to find/seduce someone, then drop/ignore/forget about/neglect the group once that was accomplished.
    There is a crack in everything
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  3. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    It's the sx firsts who would be more likely to join a group to find/seduce someone, then drop/ignore/forget about/neglect the group once that was accomplished.
    Ok. So who are you using us to impress?

  4. #134
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    For the record, I'm not using you weirdos to impress anyone. I don't do online relationships. I'm here because of my self-preservation instinct.

  5. #135

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    As an sx/sp or sp/sx, seduction isn't my thing. Instead, I rely on other parties to approach and then engage in a friendly way, presuming friendliness unless they express otherwise. If I approach anyone, it's purely from a platonic perspective. It's exceedingly rare that I'm attracted to someone before they've expressed their attraction since it takes a lot of exposure for my attraction to be triggered. I can recall one, sort of two incidents in my entire life where I approached first from the perspective of truly being attracted. So maybe sp/sx is a better fit for me, although it's not self-protection that causes the lack of instantaneous non-platonic interest.
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  6. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    As an sx/sp or sp/sx, seduction isn't my thing. Instead, I rely on other parties to approach and then engage in a friendly way, presuming friendliness unless they express otherwise. If I approach anyone, it's purely from a platonic perspective. It's exceedingly rare that I'm attracted to someone before they've expressed their attraction since it takes a lot of exposure for my attraction to be triggered. I can recall one, sort of two incidents in my entire life where I approached first from the perspective of truly being attracted. So maybe sp/sx is a better fit for me, although it's not self-protection that causes the lack of instantaneous non-platonic interest.
    This is very relatable. I don't think this is abnormal at all for sx/sp considering we're the IV that seems most sensitive to and selective about connections.

    Once someone here told me they think I'm sp/sx because I am percieved by them as cautious in my connections (well, to sx/so I see why I could be misinterpreted that way). In reality, when I have felt connected to people here I have pursued being closer to them despite being fully aware that it would end painfully and feeling conflicted about not being able to connect freely as I most instinctively feel compelled to for other reasons. It is not because I am cautious about connection forming that I most often do not approach others, but because almost unconciously I filter out the many lukewarm connections I could have with most people as not worth the effort in terms of not paying off. Although with other women I feel legitimately cautious and all things sp, it's very uncharacteristic for me and is entirely about other issues. I am usually a pushy merger.

    Anyway, the fact that this was overall framed and approached from the underlying tone of connection/attraction makes me think your sx/sp is correct. I think sp/sx would not be one to mention or dwell on connection but rather speak to more concrete concerns about why they don't pursue others. I feel like part of the "phenomenal" nature of (in some instances, the word true should come before) attraction seen in sx/sp is how rare it is for us.
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  7. #137
    Senior Member Venus Rose's Avatar
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    I think I have commented on this before, but after further reflection, I also wanted to add a few things:
    Sx/so

    The sexual/social style of seduction is almost like a tiger hunting for prey. The sexual/social style of seduction is very direct and in your face.
    I get what this is trying to say, in that I have actually ended up almost always establishing first contact with someone I was attracted to. That is, I pretty blatantly "pursued" them, at least in the very beginning. After that, of course, things can become more balanced, ideally.

    Example, when I was about 12, I told my crush that I liked him. I needed to tell him! My friends pulled me aside one day and they said "wow, that's really brave. I cannot do that." I was very confused, because the only alternative would have been to NOT tell him and that never appeared as an option in my mind...
    Of course, I was also a child, and my 'approach' more unsubtle I guess, naive, straightforward. But one thing I cannot do, is to never try to get close to someone I am attracted to. To watch them from afar or something. That has just never happened.

    But I am also not direct in the Se sense, I cannot force anyone, have a rather "soft" vibe compared to Se egos.

    There is no confusion as to what the sx/so is after.
    makes sense

    The sx/so style of seduction can either come off as extremely sexy or down-right creepy. With this style of seduction the individual in question goes to a social group and basically steals people out of that social group and makes their own group. Also, they can infiltrate the social group and work through the group to seduce the individual.
    I am however, a little confused on the "social groups" part. To me, the group does not matter once I have the attention of the individual. I don't think I use to group to "seduce" them or anything. In fact, I don't think I flirt, my interest is sincere and serious.

    I am just not focused on any "group" when I have my eyes set on someone. I pretty much don't really see anything else. I want to talk to them one on one.

  8. #138
    Mr. Brightside... The Cat's Avatar
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    Sx/so

    The sexual/social style of seduction is almost like a tiger hunting for prey. The sexual/social style of seduction is very direct and in your face. There is no confusion as to what the sx/so is after. The sx/so style of seduction can either come off as extremely sexy or down-right creepy. With this style of seduction the individual in question goes to a social group and basically steals people out of that social group and makes their own group. Also, they can infiltrate the social group and work through the group to seduce the individual.

    So/sx

    The social/sexual style of seduction also works through the group. However, many times they will want to seduce individuals through the usage of groups. Many times they will try to be liked by the group and win the admiration of the group, and then win the individual that they want to seduce that way. Also, they often enjoy a fairly small group to hang out with as well.


    hmmmm....
    ...Because I'm Mr. Brightside.


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  9. #139
    Senior Member cascadeco's Avatar
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    I have never really wanted to 'become part of a group' or worked towards gaining respect or influence or acknowledgment from a group as a whole, or any such thing - that's never been a motivation for me. So there's little to no underlying drive for me working towards any group influence. I've only ever been interested in individuals and any time I am in a group yes, I'll totally pull those aside or attempt to only interact with one or some people. If I happen to see 'potential' with someone I'll target them and ask questions and such.

    With the opposite sex yes, I can see how I could come across in a little too excitable or eager way early on (I mean... assuming I see a potential. If I don't see that, I come across starkly opposite). But I never want to force anything; it's more.. putting out feelers or sometimes blatantly showing interest. It usually or almost always flops - in the sense of not building and reaching a stopping point. I can't say doing this or being this way has actually amounted to much of anything in the past; I mean, so many things on both ends need to be present for anything to amount to something... and you only really know that with time, anyway.

    I'm starting to drop really active pursuing though and now in the future would just prefer to wait for reciprocation or just not even bother instigating anymore, waiting for others to actually show interest in me first. I've historically been The Initiator simply because I'm pretty quiet and no one's going to have much to go on anyway, thus why would anyone pursue the quiet unapproachable person. Also, I'd rather just be open about it and see where the chips fall - there's no point in playing a long waiting game if I know I like someone, and at this point in life I don't have much or any real belief of reciprocation (true connection/reciprocation/mutual desire is exceedingly rare) so there's not a whole lot to lose. Given all of that, sp/sx, sx/sp, or sx/so would fit me, based on OP descriptions. The few times long ago I actually tried random groups, it was always with the hope of meeting someone(s) in particular. The group was just a means to an end. I had a desired wish/hope, which was to meet people I actually liked, and the group was the only means to try to meet people.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #140
    somnium tenebris Powehi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Sp/sx and sx/sp

    The sexual/self-preservation and self-preservation/sexual types tend to have a very one on one style of seduction. Many times they don't like to seduce people through social groups. However sometimes in a social group they will pull aside a person away from everyone else and have a one on one interaction with an individual. It should be well noted that the sx/sp and sp/sx styles of seductions almost always work best one on one. They will quickly create an intense bond between just them and the other individual. The sx/sp and sp/sx style of seduction tends to be very subtle as well and doesn't really come off as in your face.
    This does resonate with me, but I think my approach is also influenced by E4. I'm lost in a group entirely, and it alienates me from being able to form any intimacy because I can't deal with different levels of intimacy at the same time. I always seek out a way to connect individually. I don't start with an expression of sexual attraction, but find a way to do something together that is unique to both of us, that defines something about both of us. For as shy and introverted as I am, I do end up communicating my intentions clearly by giving unique and deep compliments. Then I often give the person space to reflect on the compliment. I've ended up doing the majority of the seducing in my relationships, even initially, but I would have preferred it the other way. I like to see in someone what others can't see, and desire that in return. For being as obliterated as I am, I still do have a lot of intensely private, quiet, but persistently seductive tendencies. I desire connections that are deeper, more unique, and quietly overwhelming than anything experienced before. I also tend to get intensely hurt in the process, but hide most of that. Every intimate relationship caused me to cry uncontrollably at times, mostly in private, from its beginning, middle, and end. And then I did it all again.

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