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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What does your blind spot look like? (So, Sx, or Sp)

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
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4
Enneagram theory would claim that people have a blind spot in their instinctual stacking. For instance, if your stack is Sp/Sx, you have a So blind spot.

I am curious how your blind spot manifests?

Also, if you know your enneagram, tritype, and/or MBTI, it could be helpful to list those too.
 

madhatter

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ISTP 5w6 3w4 8w9 SO/SP.

My blindspot is SX.

It manifests in the fact that I avoid intimacy like the plague. I have never had an intimate relationship. I also tend to see SX-first energy as reckless and overwhelming. The idea of "merging" makes me extremely uncomfortable. I definitely put a reign on my more unruly passions. [MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION], your signature quote is quintessentially SX-dom, while one philosophy I live by ("everything in moderation") is quintessentially SX-last.

However, I resent some descriptions that say SX-last lacks passion. I don't think the SX-last types lack passion; they just have a different sort of passion, a different focus. It's true that I do not have the charisma of an SX-dom or sec type. However, I am by no means a boring person, nor have I ever viewed myself as such, although I can see how SP/SOs and SO/SPs could think that. I often jokingly say that I have a very boring life. A favorite saying of mine is "same shit, different day." But, I have a rich mental life of ideas and experiences. I can be very charming, when I set my mind to it. But I'm still very detached, and people who want to bear their souls to people they just met is a foreign concept to me.
 
S

Society

Guest
my blindspot is SP, and i recently made a post to someone who thought i was sx/sp which answers this pretty well:

in the words of the all mighty Wind-Up Rex:
"from everything i've gotten about your life so far, I can't see you as anything but sp-last"

her logic is consistent with most of my life:
sp's don't go skating highschool trusting that they'd always figure out a way to get out of trouble.
sp's in the military requested for officer training don't easily throw away the most stable career route.
sp's don't quit jobs and travel on their last cents again & again to deal with it when they come back.
sp's don't invest their own money into their own startup companies when they have nothing but debt.
sp's sexual tendencies aren't likely to tie in with exhibitionism, being caught, or dancing around sharing/cuckold.
sp's don't climb out of debt by going to a new country to learn a new skill they have no idea if they are good at.
sp's don't fight with their apartment-providing job's bosses when they know it means being homeless for awhile.
sp's don't propose after 4 months of knowing someone thinking "i want to be with her forever anyway, why not?"
sp's don't immigrate without a work visa knowing they'll be dependent economically on someone completely.
sp's don't develop loving parental relationships with a child that can be taken from them on someone else's whim.

its only in the last year since my divorce that I've become traumatic regarding my own vulnerabilities & the potential consequences of empowering others in my life, the consequences of coming into situations unprepared economically or situations in which i have to trust the wrong sort of people, compensating for the utter lack of self-preservation voice in my head.
 
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8wQ?

Any friendship (so) permitting freedom of expression and inquiry (e5) with common roots (sp) has the potential to transcend ambivalence. Life's like a mechanical music box: wind her up and let her sing. :D
 

mintleaf

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sp
INFP 9w1 (952?) so/sx

I haven't invested much time in laying tangible foundations for my future. I say tangible because I do devote time to thinking about what choices might be best for me, but I haven't been vigilant in getting good grades, seeking out opportunities, or developing certain skills. I just expect that everything will pan out. (This could have something to do with having at least 2 positive outlook types in my tritype, too.)

I don't take very good care of myself, especially physically. I often forget to eat and take medicine. I never exercise - I'm lazy and thin and don't *have* to for vanities' sake. I'm sure that I would feel better if I did, but I usually don't see that as a priority. Then there's the fact that I spent five years depressed without telling anyone or doing much about it at all, expecting that it would resolve itself.
 

Entropic

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From the point of view of an sx/sp Fi dominant/EII 5w4:

I have thought a lot about this because I understand soc so poorly. Essentially I think I just generally lack an overall concern and awareness of group hierarchies and power dynamics. Even when I am participating in a group I find myself being more of a separate outsider who joins in whenever I please and I think my blind spot is exemplified well when people clearly express a sense of me being a part of this group and that my participation is welcomed, even at times desired and I don't understand this. Whenever others express this attitude towards me it's usually met with a "huh?" feeling from my end. I don't get why people see me as a part of a group and I don't tend to see or identify myself as a part of a group. I for example often find myself in leadership positions without understanding how I truly got them, especially as I am actually not interested in leadership roles unless it's in the lines of "if I don't do it no one will". I think the fact I even think this way is exemplary of my sx/sp logic; that I must seek things I desire on my own. It shows a certain lack of trust in the community and the idea to be provided for or be dependent makes me feel very uncomfortable and I only seek out such help in situations where I know that I will unable to manage on my own. Then I still ask for help quite grudgingly. I am for example suspecting that my cousin of my age is sp/so (could explain why she's been so uncomfortable in the past as well when we've met up and talking until long into the night) and she often tells me to ask my family for help when I need something. Same with my aunt, especially financially. It's rather funny how some of them can suggest me to ask for help for something I never personally thought of I could use help with or needed help for. I've always been a bit of the "I'll do everything on my own" mindset. I only ask for help when all other options are exhausted.

As an example, I was hospitalized earlier this year because I got suddenly very sick and they wanted me to stay during the night for observation. I literarily had a bit of a breakdown because I didn't want to be there at all and I felt weak and useless. I managed to make them agree for me to at least go back home and get some of my stuff like an extra set of clothes and so on as I refused to let my relatives to do it for me. I didn't ask them for help and I didn't call them. Even though I could barely walk alone for 10 minutes without feeling like I'm going to collapse, I went to the nearest tram stop at the hospital, took the tram to my apartment and got my stuff and back. The only time I even called someone else asking for help was because there was stop in the tram traffic! What I did was that I called my cousin (I don't remember why) and she suggested that I'd call her older sister who lives in the same town as I for help because she has a car and she asked me "Did you ask my sister to drive you there?". Internally I was something like, this was actually an option I could use? Why should I do that if I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself? Now granted, I'm a 5 so I'm still having an innate preference for being self-sufficient but it's still interesting how the thought never occurred to me but it did for my cousin (I suspect that she's an 8 or a 6). It should however be noted that even when I do need help with something I rather pay some service than asking my family first.

I'm also terribly uninterested in what's going on in the world around me outside of myself and the people I've taken an interest in. Even then the connection only extends so far as to be aware of this person but beyond that I tend to get very confused. I think my grandmother is an so/sp and our differences couldn't be more apparent than when she's talking about all her acquaintances and their connections to each other. I tend to shut off after a while because aside her knowing these people I have no idea of who they are or how they relate to each other and this is irregardless of how many times she talks me about this or tells me about this.

When I think of it, I can't even tell the power dynamics of my own friendship circle and such a thought never occurred to me (until now). The only way I can really tell what social position a person is posessing is if they have an official title ascribed to them and I tend to take such titles at face value unless I find the person to be incredibly incompetent at what they do. I think I could possibly spot if there's another person cotrolling from behind the scenes but I don't tend to look out for these things or feel very concerned about them. It's also interesting to point out that when I do notice these things though, I tend to become quite proud of myself and pat myself on my back because I actually figured it out. I have in contrast funnily enough no problem guessing in what romantic stage people are for example even if I see them for the first time assuming that they're together with their partner.

There's another example I thought of that I think is a great example of my blind spot as well, which is that I'm a member of a local political party here in Sweden. Essentially I'm finacially supporting the party called Ung Vänster which is a filial party to the major party Vänsterpartiet. I've been a member of Ung Vänster for probably close to or over a year now but I have yet to attend a single meeting. Even politics itself doesn't tend to overly concern me unless it has something to do with my personal values. Which reminds me of another example that's probably a good way to highlight soc last. For those who are into fantasy literature, a prominent series is called Wheel of Time spends a lot of time and great detail contrasting the political nature of the world its depicting. It's generally quite full of intrigue and power struggles and I remember that these were in fact the portions of the series that bored me the most. I have a similar aversion to other books that spend a great amount of time and detail developing the political inner works of its in-verse. It is also my aversion towards political games that has made me skip over the Game of Thrones hype.

Last but not least, another example I can think of that's a pretty good example of my soc last-ness is actually that I used to study a master program in global studies because I wanted to become an anthropology major but there was no specifically dedicated master program for social anthroplogy. Global studies is very different to anthropology because whereas in anthropology I tended to zone in one the few subjects that interested me, namely music and gender, the perspective of global studies was more driven towards human rights, international relations and to a degree human ecology. While I have briefly studied human ecology I did mostly because it was the subject that lied the closest to social anthropology when I had to pick my in-depth courses as my social anthropology course option was cancelled due to low interest. Social ecology is clearly not for me as well and I when I studied my master program I felt a deep sense of alienation because so many people were clearly burning for social injustices. They want to improve equality among genders in Bangladesh, help starving children in Africa getting better living conditions or teaching shrimp farmers in Singapore to not destroy their mangrove forests.

Me? I wrote my master thesis about why people are fans of a specific genre of metal music (Viking metal if you must know) and how they can be studied according to theories of interconnectedness which is a major theme in global studies (if I hadn't connected my work to said theories it would most likely have been disqualified for not being program-relevant). It was most of all fueled by my personal iterest in metal music though as I already wrote my bachelor's about black metal and gender. Even as I picked this subject I felt alienated because I always felt that I was different. My ideas were different and my interests were different. I wasn't interested in shaping or improving the world as many in my class were. So aside being primarily interest in a subject that is perhaps associated with the social instinct (but I'd argue this point as you can study so many things in anthropology outside of social power structures and hierarchies within groups) I feel that my preference was definitely distinctly not very social instincts-oriented.
 

Nicki

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so/sx

I don't really care too much about stability regarding anything. I take risks that would probably look stupid/impulsive to someone with an sp in their stacking and I always expect myself to be able to go along with things. I rarely worry about being physically comfortable in my surroundings. My room's filled with broken and messed up things that I just ignore because I could care less. I get a thrill from things when I'm not feeling safe. I embrace those sort of situations.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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Some good examples of my lack of sp:
  • Response to my allergist when he asked me if I felt any different after two years of allergy shots: Emphatic Shrug
  • Not having a good instinctive understanding of my physical needs. Dialogue between me and sp-using friends: "Ugh, I just feel so drained and burned out..." "Go to bed!" "But I don't feel sleepy..." "You are. Go to bed."
  • Setting aside personal needs in order to get stuff done, and then regretting it later. (See above. I tend to burn myself out.)
  • Seeing caretaking in emotional terms, more than physical terms; being there for someone mentally, but not thinking to offer them things in the physical realm, to help them out.
I always expect myself to be able to go along with things
^ This too. I tend to instinctively say "yes" to people whenever they offer things/experiences/invitations, and then realize all too late that I might be overburdened. I also have a very "It'll all be fine!!" attitude about things, that's often misguided, and notorious among my friends. (I blame the 7 fix for this, too. :laugh:)

(Note: My sp is probably still a lot stronger than that of many sp-lasts on the forum, [MENTION=15963]Aleda[/MENTION] included, because I'm an SJ and therefore fairly sp-focused by nature. But the thing is, when I do focus on my own physical/mental needs, it's usually as a means to an end, and not as a goal in itself. Something I focus on when it feels necessary -- and ONLY when it feels necessary -- because, as mentioned above, I do tend to undervalue sp foci.)
 

Nicki

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Some good examples of my lack of sp:
  • Response to my allergist when he asked me if I felt any different after two years of allergy shots: Emphatic Shrug
  • Not having a good instinctive understanding of my physical needs. Dialogue between me and sp-using friends: "Ugh, I just feel so drained and burned out..." "Go to bed!" "But I don't feel sleepy..." "You are. Go to bed."

These sort of things happen to me all the time. Whenever I need to deal with a health issue, I'm borderline apathetic. I also never realize when I'm hungry/full or sick? I'm just not in touch with my physical state at all haha.

^ This too. I tend to instinctively say "yes" to people whenever they offer things/experiences/invitations, and then realize all too late that I might be overburdened. I also have a very "It'll all be fine!!" attitude about things, that's often misguided, and notorious among my friends. (I blame the 7 fix for this, too. :laugh:)

LOL me too! I can never pass up on an opportunity to have fun and I end up juggling many activities at once which I find both exhilarating and stressful.
 

Redbone

Orisha
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I identify with a lot of what [MENTION=16405]LeaT[/MENTION] said.

I moved across country almost two years ago. I didn't let my family know except for one of my sisters, my ex, and one of my cousins (I was infuriated when he went a blabbed to the rest of the family!). Once more people knew (and they don't know exactly where), they emailed me names and numbers of people to "contact in case you need support". I'm thinking, what kind of support? It would never occur to me to do this.

Team is one of my most disliked words. I have never felt a part of any group. At best, I'm on the edges of it...the alien observer.

I was scheduled to have surgery and my first thought was how many train and bus transfers it would take to get me back home after it was done. My roommate would have gladly taken me and brought me back home but I didn't want to involve him. It's bad enough that I have to rely on the doctors to take care of this issue.

I've done some really crazy, miracle hoop-jumping in order to fix things without involving another person in it.
 

greenfairy

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Do you suppose having 6 first or second in the tritype could mitigate an sp blind spot?

Could 9 and 3 mitigate an so blind spot?
 

Entropic

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Do you suppose having 6 first or second in the tritype could mitigate an sp blind spot?

Could 9 and 3 mitigate an so blind spot?

No. 9s can have soc blind spot for example. It just determines the our focus take. So let's say our instinct is the direction of our focus, if it's social, sexual or self-presevervation. Our core motivations then shapes this focus in various ways so an sp 5 is going to be the most introverted and 5 of the 5, very private and stingy and emphasize their avarice the most. A soc 5 can seem more outgoing but what they are drawn to are people who represent ideas and they can seek a special standing where people seek them out for knowledge and expertise. A sexual 5 is in contrast the least 5-ish of the 5, appearing to not express their avarice at all and is often willing to share of themselves in a way that's very opposite of the sp 5 because whereas the sp 5 emphasizes a retentive attitude because all 5s think that we can only survive by holding back, the sx 5 uses sharing as a way to connect in an intimate manner.

With that said, I do think tritypes can make people appear differently than their core along with their instincts but I wouldn't put too much emphasis on that. It's important to realize the basics of the instincts and then study how this interplays with our core motivations. It's only then that you'll fully realize a type's nature.
 

greenfairy

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No. 9s can have soc blind spot for example. It just determines the our focus take. So let's say our instinct is the direction of our focus, if it's social, sexual or self-presevervation. Our core motivations then shapes this focus in various ways so an sp 5 is going to be the most introverted and 5 of the 5, very private and stingy and emphasize their avarice the most. A soc 5 can seem more outgoing but what they are drawn to are people who represent ideas and they can seek a special standing where people seek them out for knowledge and expertise. A sexual 5 is in contrast the least 5-ish of the 5, appearing to not express their avarice at all and is often willing to share of themselves in a way that's very opposite of the sp 5 because whereas the sp 5 emphasizes a retentive attitude because all 5s think that we can only survive by holding back, the sx 5 uses sharing as a way to connect in an intimate manner.

With that said, I do think tritypes can make people appear differently than their core along with their instincts but I wouldn't put too much emphasis on that. It's important to realize the basics of the instincts and then study how this interplays with our core motivations. It's only then that you'll fully realize a type's nature.

Ok, good information. So you don't think then that one could be sp last but still take pretty good care of the self because of 6's need for security? Or being so last but still have so like drives and needs along with some understanding because of being a more social number? I don't know what sx last being balanced out would look like. None of the numbers really seem to correspond in their motivations, except maybe 4, but that's more focused on the self than merging I think. Sorry if research would answer this question. What I've read doesn't really go into it. I just need really specific details in order to understand distinctions.
 

Such Irony

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ISTP 5w6 3w4 8w9 SO/SP.

My blindspot is SX.

It manifests in the fact that I avoid intimacy like the plague. I have never had an intimate relationship. I also tend to see SX-first energy as reckless and overwhelming. The idea of "merging" makes me extremely uncomfortable. I definitely put a reign on my more unruly passions. [MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION], your signature quote is quintessentially SX-dom, while one philosophy I live by ("everything in moderation") is quintessentially SX-last.

However, I resent some descriptions that say SX-last lacks passion. I don't think the SX-last types lack passion; they just have a different sort of passion, a different focus. It's true that I do not have the charisma of an SX-dom or sec type. However, I am by no means a boring person, nor have I ever viewed myself as such, although I can see how SP/SOs and SO/SPs could think that. I often jokingly say that I have a very boring life. A favorite saying of mine is "same shit, different day." But, I have a rich mental life of ideas and experiences. I can be very charming, when I set my mind to it. But I'm still very detached, and people who want to bear their souls to people they just met is a foreign concept to me.

I could have easily written all of this myself. I have been in a few intimate relationships but none that lasted more than about 6 months. I don't place the importance on being in an intimate relationship that many people do.

It's a common misconception that SX last types are boring people lacking passion and I think it's partly why you don't see as many people on these forums admitting to being SX last.
 
S

Society

Guest
Some good examples of my lack of sp:
  • Response to my allergist when he asked me if I felt any different after two years of allergy shots: Emphatic Shrug
  • Not having a good instinctive understanding of my physical needs. Dialogue between me and sp-using friends: "Ugh, I just feel so drained and burned out..." "Go to bed!" "But I don't feel sleepy..." "You are. Go to bed."
  • Setting aside personal needs in order to get stuff done, and then regretting it later. (See above. I tend to burn myself out.)

i think i've had nearly the exact same conversations.

Some good examples of my lack of sp:
  • Seeing caretaking in emotional terms, more than physical terms; being there for someone mentally, but not thinking to offer them things in the physical realm, to help them out.
curiously, i don't identify with this as much - acts of service is a big part of my love languages (though also manifests as affection with friends).

But the thing is, when I do focus on my own physical/mental needs, it's usually as a means to an end, and not as a goal in itself. Something I focus on when it feels necessary -- and ONLY when it feels necessary -- because, as mentioned above, I do tend to undervalue sp foci.)

i identify with that completely: fitness is a means of providing myself with distraction and to an extent the zen of repetition, my health in general is a means to appear healthy & attractive, and financially this is true to the extreme, for me money is a sociological need a lot more then survival.
 

Entropic

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Ok, good information. So you don't think then that one could be sp last but still take pretty good care of the self because of 6's need for security? Or being so last but still have so like drives and needs along with some understanding because of being a more social number? I don't know what sx last being balanced out would look like. None of the numbers really seem to correspond in their motivations, except maybe 4, but that's more focused on the self than merging I think. Sorry if research would answer this question. What I've read doesn't really go into it. I just need really specific details in order to understand distinctions.

The 6 need for security is not the same as the self-preservation need for security. You need to learn to see the instincts as a stand-alone thing unrelated to the type. After you've done that you can start mapping them back to type and see how it differentiates between since as I said, it shapes our focus. Also, if you focus a lot on say, security associated with the 6, then you are expressing sp 6 tendencies. That's how the overlap works. An soc 6 is going to focus more on either being for or against the community and seek community belonging and so on.
 

Entropic

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I could have easily written all of this myself. I have been in a few intimate relationships but none that lasted more than about 6 months. I don't place the importance on being in an intimate relationship that many people do.

It's a common misconception that SX last types are boring people lacking passion and I think it's partly why you don't see as many people on these forums admitting to being SX last.

Probably, although I've never had a long-lasting relationship either and I've been single for 8+ years now while seeing a few people inbetween but never leading to something that lasts. I wonder if that's just not a 5 thing though. Romantic pursuits isn't quite up the in 5 arena as something that probably comes as naturally for us as other types. With that said, as opposed to you, I do long for and desire a romantic partner (just turned more sour due to recent events that occurred last year) so I think that's probably the only real focus between us.

And I think soc and sx are passionate about different things, clearly. It's just that we kind of understand it differently. I think when we talk about passion in a general sense, it's probably biased towards the sx instinct though.
 

EJCC

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curiously, i don't identify with this as much - acts of service is a big part of my love languages (though also manifests as affection with friends).
I may not have phrased that point very well. :/ In part because I had several intertwining points in mind, within that broader point.

- Let's say I have friends over for dinner. Yeah, I'll want the place to look nice, I'll want to serve them good food, good drinks. But that's not why they're there -- they're there for time with each other and time with me. Thus, if the food turns out poorly and we have to order pizza, or something to that effect, I won't consider the evening a failure. I'll only consider the evening a failure if no one has a good time. Thus, once again, sp as a means to an end: the goal is for them to feel at home mentally, and if physical needs are what it takes to get there, then so be it. Otherwise: what the hell.

- Because I don't have an instinctive understanding of my own sp needs, I'm not as good at helping other people with their own sp needs, unless they're incredibly obvious. Got a cold? "You should take medicine, drink fluids, and get a lot of sleep!" Feeling stressed? "Give yourself a mental health break, maybe switch assignments for a little while to freshen your mind up a bit!" But if you're vaguely burned out or exhausted or something? "I dunno, just tough it out until the week is over and you can relax on the weekend? That's what I would do!" :doh: So as much as I would like to help, and as much as I always try to help my friends with whatever they need help with, whenever they need it, there are some things that I'm just ill-equipped to advise them on, and I'd argue that sp needs are one of those things.

Edit: Could still be a love languages thing? I'm fairly certain that my primary love language is quality time.
 

greenfairy

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The 6 need for security is not the same as the self-preservation need for security. You need to learn to see the instincts as a stand-alone thing unrelated to the type. After you've done that you can start mapping them back to type and see how it differentiates between since as I said, it shapes our focus. Also, if you focus a lot on say, security associated with the 6, then you are expressing sp 6 tendencies. That's how the overlap works. An soc 6 is going to focus more on either being for or against the community and seek community belonging and so on.
Ah, makes sense.
 

Entropic

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I may not have phrased that point very well. :/ In part because I had several intertwining points in mind, within that broader point.

- Let's say I have friends over for dinner. Yeah, I'll want the place to look nice, I'll want to serve them good food, good drinks. But that's not why they're there -- they're there for time with each other and time with me. Thus, if the food turns out poorly and we have to order pizza, or something to that effect, I won't consider the evening a failure.
That's funny to read because I'd totally see it as a failure. I arranged a birthday party when I had my birthday this year and I invited my close family to come. So I decided to prepare by having a cake to offer and so on but the problem was that I didn't have time to finish the cake. I considered it a catastrophe and a failure (let alone I felt incredibly incompetent at party hosting which just reinforced my feelings that this is not one of my strengths and I shouldn't do it again).
 
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