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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What does your blind spot look like? (So, Sx, or Sp)

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
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am sx/sp

so last to me is:

  • what the fuck is a 'social safety net' and why would anyone need one?
  • re: networking -- i don't have any trouble with this, however, it's more of a 'know how to use my resources effectively' thing
  • elopement please. want the groom. want the flowers. want the dress. NO guests. :>
  • i love travelling to foreign countries because i don't understand their language and other people's convos just turn to noise. poiiifect.
  • i'll never understand group bonding/herd instincts a la "love my girls, i am nothing without them" -- <<shudder>>
    i find it a very unattractive trait in people, and see it as a weakness in their character.
  • group dinners/meetups are the worse thing eva! torture.
  • i don't really know what kind of effect i leave on people. unless i'm told. and then i forget about it anyway.
 

21%

You have a choice!
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elopement please. want the groom. want the flowers. want the dress. NO guests. :>
I can identify a lot with this. I'm scared of people. My INFP is scared of people too, so it will be perfect.
 

The Great One

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See folks, this is why I have a very tough time mapping out my variants. It's like I don't have blind spot, but there are areas of my life that I could give less of a shit about.

ISTP 5w6 3w4 8w9 SO/SP.

My blindspot is SX.

It manifests in the fact that I avoid intimacy like the plague. I have never had an intimate relationship. I also tend to see SX-first energy as reckless and overwhelming. The idea of "merging" makes me extremely uncomfortable. I definitely put a reign on my more unruly passions. [MENTION=17911]Maybe[/MENTION], your signature quote is quintessentially SX-dom, while one philosophy I live by ("everything in moderation") is quintessentially SX-last.

However, I resent some descriptions that say SX-last lacks passion. I don't think the SX-last types lack passion; they just have a different sort of passion, a different focus. It's true that I do not have the charisma of an SX-dom or sec type. However, I am by no means a boring person, nor have I ever viewed myself as such, although I can see how SP/SOs and SO/SPs could think that. I often jokingly say that I have a very boring life. A favorite saying of mine is "same shit, different day." But, I have a rich mental life of ideas and experiences. I can be very charming, when I set my mind to it. But I'm still very detached, and people who want to bear their souls to people they just met is a foreign concept to me.

All the people on typewatch (a very well known enneagram site) saw me as Sx last. However, I keep reading things like this I NEVER can relate to them. I love intimacy. In fact, I am almost an intimacy junkie. I absolutely love to be close to a lover and fall in love VERY easily. I get close to people VERY quickly and I can literally meet someone in one day and feel like I have known them my whole life.

The first time I ever fell hard for a woman, I simply met the woman online. I then got her phone number and we used to chat every night for hours on end. I chatted with her for 5 hours every single night of the week. I even lost sleep a lot of times because I was staying up so late and talking with her. It was like she was the only thing that meant anything to me. The lack of sleep that I was getting even effected my work performance and I just didn't care because I just felt so happy whenever I would hear her wonderful voice. Eventually we broke it off, but I still remember her to this day.

Also, keep in mind that this was just an online thing, when I meet a girl in real life and date her, I'm even more of a clingy bastard.


my blindspot is SP, and i recently made a post to someone who thought i was sx/sp which answers this pretty well:

See now this doesn't register with me either. How can you take on entrepreneurial endeavors without making sure that you have sufficient capital to do so? Also, how can you be ready to marry a woman without being afraid that it will effect you financially?

One thing that I consistently struggle with is that I fall in love easy but am terrified of marriage because I am always afraid that I will marry the woman and that we may get divorced and then she may take half of my hard earned money. Not just that but in relationships I am very careful with sex as well. I love having sex with a girl and feeling close to that woman through the act, but I'm constantly afraid that the condoms will slip and that I'll accidentally get the girl pregnant and be stuck taking care of a kid that will take money out of my pocket. I may one day want to have children, but not right now. I'm just not financially fit enough to take care of a child.

Also you tend to view entrepreneurial endeavors just like my old ESxP 7w8 sx/so manager did. He just completely ignores that fact that he could go belly up and be flat broke and homeless. The fear of being homeless constantly plagues me. Also back when I was in sales, I generally went to work completely terrified everyday. I mean, according to my manager I was an awesome salesman, and I would consistently hit my sales goals. However, many days I had to come to work drunk or high because I was so worried about failing to meet my sales goals and being out on the street homeless, that the fear overwhelmed me.

One more thing. I ALWAYS like to have a financial safety net. The more money I have in reserves, the better.

INFP 9w1 (952?) so/sx

I haven't invested much time in laying tangible foundations for my future. I say tangible because I do devote time to thinking about what choices might be best for me, but I haven't been vigilant in getting good grades, seeking out opportunities, or developing certain skills. I just expect that everything will pan out. (This could have something to do with having at least 2 positive outlook types in my tritype, too.)

I don't take very good care of myself, especially physically. I often forget to eat and take medicine. I never exercise - I'm lazy and thin and don't *have* to for vanities' sake. I'm sure that I would feel better if I did, but I usually don't see that as a priority. Then there's the fact that I spent five years depressed without telling anyone or doing much about it at all, expecting that it would resolve itself.

I can't relate to this either. I try to take VERY good care of myself and often FREAK OUT over health problems. Also, I am constantly trying to invest in my future. I have an awesome GPA in college and picked a major that will be very financially feasible in the future.

Some good examples of my lack of sp:
  • Response to my allergist when he asked me if I felt any different after two years of allergy shots: Emphatic Shrug
  • Not having a good instinctive understanding of my physical needs. Dialogue between me and sp-using friends: "Ugh, I just feel so drained and burned out..." "Go to bed!" "But I don't feel sleepy..." "You are. Go to bed."
  • Setting aside personal needs in order to get stuff done, and then regretting it later. (See above. I tend to burn myself out.)
  • Seeing caretaking in emotional terms, more than physical terms; being there for someone mentally, but not thinking to offer them things in the physical realm, to help them out.

^ This too. I tend to instinctively say "yes" to people whenever they offer things/experiences/invitations, and then realize all too late that I might be overburdened. I also have a very "It'll all be fine!!" attitude about things, that's often misguided, and notorious among my friends. (I blame the 7 fix for this, too. :laugh:)

(Note: My sp is probably still a lot stronger than that of many sp-lasts on the forum, [MENTION=15963]Aleda[/MENTION] included, because I'm an SJ and therefore fairly sp-focused by nature. But the thing is, when I do focus on my own physical/mental needs, it's usually as a means to an end, and not as a goal in itself. Something I focus on when it feels necessary -- and ONLY when it feels necessary -- because, as mentioned above, I do tend to undervalue sp foci.)

Yeah I don't relate to this either. I'm very in touch with my physical needs.

So blindspot
- networking makes me very uncomfortable, I have no idea how to do it and it makes me feel queasy
- I am oblivious to my position within the structure of an organization
- I have trouble keeping up to date with things/people. people frequent ask me "where have you been?" or "what planet are you from?"

something that's helped me get somewhat in touch with my blindspot (or at least become aware of it in the external world more) is, oddly enough, watching history documentaries. it's taught me a few tricks for navigating group structures, how to see the impact of how an action will effect different groups of people and how people acting in a unified group can accomplish a task far more quickly and efficiently than a single person.

Once again, I don't relate. I am pretty damn good at social networking, and am very aware of how social contacts can help me or hurt me. However, I don't tend to "work the room" like an So dom that's an extravert (not that all So doms are extraverted). I tend to stay on the sidelines and build one social contact at a time, one-on-one and then utilize those social contacts when I need to. My idea of social networking is like a spider in a web: I trap the one person in my web and work with them one-on-one and build report with them, and then utilize them when I need to. I'm not good at working a room though.
 

Elfboy

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am sx/sp
what the fuck is a 'social safety net' and why would anyone need one?
the desire for a social safety net is more Sp; the cultivation of a social safety net is more So. I'm also Sx/Sp and find myself thinking "a social safety net would be nice" but I lack the skills to attain one (or, more accurately, position myself over one). this is also Etype related too. it's probably my 6 wing that periodically reminds me that I'm not invincible and need help from people (something my ego absolutely hates at to admit lol).

re: networking -- i don't have any trouble with this, however, it's more of a 'know how to use my resources effectively' thing
all I can say is, I'm envious XD

elopement please. want the groom. want the flowers. want the dress. NO guests. :>
true dat!

i love travelling to foreign countries because i don't understand their language and other people's convos just turn to noise. poiiifect.
I hadn't thought of it this way, but I think I agree. similarly, I prefer to listen to music either without lyrics or sung in a difference language. when I read through the libretto of an opera and see what people are actually saying, I often find it disappointingly petty.

i'll never understand group bonding/herd instincts a la "love my girls, i am nothing without them" -- <<shudder>>
i find it a very unattractive trait in people, and see it as a weakness in their character. [/QUOTE]
same. I don't even understand the concept of needing to belong. I need 1 close friend and 1 lover, and that's all the emotional support I will ever need. most people have hated me my entire life and the only time it's really bothered me is when my physical safety was in jeopardy.

that said, I guess I can understand its benefit from an evolutionary perspective. people work more effectively in groups and are able to specialize more. when one is part of a large network of people, it becomes easier to utilize the group's resources to facilitate one's own advancement

group dinners/meetups are the worse thing eva! torture.
I like group dinners (as long as the company is classy. if it's a bar or filled with low class people, I typically leave), it's just that I have no idea what's actually going on. I'm typically wandering about aimlessly and have difficult engaging in the kind of "catching up" or "getting the scoop" conversations that seem to be the norm.

i don't really know what kind of effect i leave on people. unless i'm told. and then i forget about it anyway.
same (though this probably has to do with 8/7. a Social last 3w2 for instance would probably still be somewhat aware of this). it wasn't until I took a few sales jobs (which I failed miserably at) that I learned that, from time to time, there is actually benefit to knowing this.
 

FDG

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I like group dinners (as long as the company is classy. if it's a bar or filled with low class people, I typically leave), it's just that I have no idea what's actually going on. I'm typically wandering about aimlessly and have difficult engaging in the kind of "catching up" or "getting the scoop" conversations that seem to be the norm.

Lol. I also do that. Then I drop some funny-sarcastic comment or w/e in the middle of a given group's conversation. Some people love me for that, others find it tacky, but I'm generally known as "ah, that guy who does that".
 

Elfboy

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Lol. I also do that. Then I drop some funny-sarcastic comment or w/e in the middle of a given group's conversation. Some people love me for that, others find it tacky, but I'm generally known as "ah, that guy who does that".

same here, though generally I do so in the form of a subtly perverted comment (you know, the kind that will go over the heads of anyone who would be offended by it while everyone who actually gets it laughs their asses off)
I can hold a decent conversation, but the social instinct is more about navigating and positioning, two things I'm not so great at. when I enter a conversation, I typically have a disruptive effect on it which tends to be either welcomed or disdained. So doms have this magical ability to quickly pick up what everyone is saying, jump in at just the right time and somehow know when/when not to speak I have difficulty enough with this one on one, doing so with 4-8 people talking leaves me feeling like
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The Great One

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[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]
the desire for a social safety net is more Sp; the cultivation of a social safety net is more So. I'm also Sx/Sp and find myself thinking "a social safety net would be nice" but I lack the skills to attain one (or, more accurately, position myself over one). this is also Etype related too. it's probably my 6 wing that periodically reminds me that I'm not invincible and need help from people (something my ego absolutely hates at to admit lol).

Yeah, I desire a social safety net but it's more for Sp reasons. For instance, I find it important to develop a good social safety net in a job and to make friends with key players in the company. That way if my job is threatened, I can use these people as tools to help me to keep my job. I almost think that So first people make social contacts in order to maintain their social report with others if they were to make a social faux pas.

all I can say is, I'm envious XD

I can easily network as well.

same. I don't even understand the concept of needing to belong. I need 1 close friend and 1 lover, and that's all the emotional support I will ever need. most people have hated me my entire life and the only time it's really bothered me is when my physical safety was in jeopardy.

that said, I guess I can understand its benefit from an evolutionary perspective. people work more effectively in groups and are able to specialize more. when one is part of a large network of people, it becomes easier to utilize the group's resources to facilitate one's own advancement

I agree with all of this.

same (though this probably has to do with 8/7. a Social last 3w2 for instance would probably still be somewhat aware of this). it wasn't until I took a few sales jobs (which I failed miserably at) that I learned that, from time to time, there is actually benefit to knowing this.

Well this may be true. I may be social last with a strong 3w2 fix and I always know the effect that I have on people.
 

Lady_X

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i have no idea!!!!!

i don't think i will ever know my stacking for real.

i think it's sx/sp but maybe its not at all.
 

Azure Flame

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Sx/So here. I'm not a very grounded person. I'm always thinking about things I want to do, or things I want to get accomplished, and I get antsy when those don't get done. My energy is like a fighter jet, a phoenix, or a missile. As an 8 comparing myself to other 8's I've met, all of my emotional energy almost immediately emits off of me for everyone to see, and I cannot hide my emotions at all. On the plus side, I have a natural near sociopathic lack of concern for anything that could go wrong, and if I'm not constantly eating food at all times, I burn out very quick and get sullen and grumpy and turn into a whiney bitch.

With me, there is no singular point of energy to my emotions, just an intense and suffocating heat wave that radiates off of me, and if you stand in my wake or look into my eyes you'll experience intensity, kinda like eating too much wasabi. I also have a tendency to procrastinate going to the bathroom until the absolute last possible moment, which makes for entertaining moments when I randomly hold up a finger to interrupt the conversation and run out of the room for no apparent reason. I love the concept of flight, being airborne. I've always wanted to be a Hang Gliding instructor.

I generally don't care about anything except freedom and acquiring the money to get there. However I've recently decided a "why the hell not" approach to getting rich.

I'm pretty sure armored core "White Glint" is inspired by my personality. I also make a fantastic ninja, but Idunno if that's Sp last related.

I've been told that compared to most other 8's I'm not very grounded. I've posted this a million times, but It kinda feels flighty like how these songs sound:


 

SubtleFighter

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It’s interesting reading the comments of people who are sx-last. It’s hard wrapping my head around that perspective.

I’m sp-last, and I really feel like all the things associated with it are a big pain in the butt. I hate stopping what I’m doing to eat, cook, sleep, etc. I usually forget that I need to eat or sleep until I’m halfway starving or falling over asleep in my chair. Actually getting to sleep has been an issue my entire life because I just don’t want to do it. And I swear that if it wasn’t for my best friend being sp-first, I wouldn’t know how to cook at all, haha.

I also relate well to the others who said they have trouble monitoring their bodies for pain for health reasons. If I’m not feeling pain right at the second that doctors ask me, I have no idea how to describe pain I have felt over the past few days or weeks or how to rate the amount of pain I’ve been in. Even if I know I need to monitor these things, actually trying to do it is annoying at the level of scraping nails on a chalkboard.
 

thoughtlost

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I think that I am sp last. I don't know what that means in a thorough sense, but from what I understand... I consider myself sp last because I wish I didn't have to think about my physical needs like eating, or sleeping (sleeping is really not desirable when you're watching a really good movie or reading a really good book or thinking about your emotions/perceptions/insights). It doesn't mean that I don't like to sleep... it's a peaceful time.

And taking a break to eat... I actually don't mind that because right now I am working in a lab and I have to give all my attention to it so I don't make mistakes. So I welcome the break so I can lose myself in my thoughts. I often feel like there is not enough time in the day for me to get lost in thought... I hate keeping myself busy... uh, I don't know what "busy" means actually, but I know this girl who says she always has to be doing something "useful" and I am all "....what's wrong with sitting on the couch all day long? There's lots to do on the couch!!! (Yeah, I know that can be interpreted in a sexual way ...-_-")". ...it makes me a really bad tourist because I could care less about the physical things around me ...it's like it doesn't have an impact on my internal state so I don't care. ...Uh, wait. I don't think it means that I don't actually like ANY physical object ...ironically, I can find the strangest pleasure in rooms with very very minimal furniture. It's like I exist... but then I exist no where...

...wow, I am going to stop typing now ...Yeah, I think I am SP last -_-"
 

sarahmariev

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I relate to all the previous SX blind spot posts. I wish I were more passionate and focused and full of energy. I find it difficult to stay invested in things for long and while I genuinely love and care for people, intimate relationships are stressful. I have no problem being social and affectionate, but I don't know how to truly connect when I'm one-on-one.

I also am extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable with my desires. This can be especially problematic in romantic/sexual situations, since I can easily connect to the opposite sex friends but don't know how to proceed when things progress beyond conversation...

All the people on typewatch (a very well known enneagram site) saw me as Sx last. However, I keep reading things like this I NEVER can relate to them. I love intimacy. In fact, I am almost an intimacy junkie. I absolutely love to be close to a lover and fall in love VERY easily. I get close to people VERY quickly and I can literally meet someone in one day and feel like I have known them my whole life.

I'm SX last and I think that "intimacy" can mean many different things. I absolutely love meeting and getting to know people...sometimes I make people a bit uncomfortable with how many questions I ask when I'm trying to get to know them (I mean, do I really need to know everyone else's favorite ice cream flavors?). I'm not sure exactly how to describe it, but for me, without a specific social context for interaction (for example, dating or working) I can run out of things to talk about eventually and without a larger group to feed off of, it can get very awkward. I know how to be likeable and effusive, but when gets down to nitty gritty relating to people in a one-to-one basis (instead of in a social basis, as individuals instead of fellow group members), I'm at a loss. My energy is also far more spread out, even when I'm focusing on one person. I'm not just thinking about being with them, but also about how my behavior is affecting them or other people, what I'm going to say next, etc.
 

The Great One

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[MENTION=17197]sarahmariev[/MENTION]

Yeah I can't really relate to this. I am definitely more of a one-on-one person. Personally my social style is to enter a large group of people and then to basically pull the members that I actually like to the side and just be with them. Most of the time I am only with one person and just chatting one-to-one. I never really have identified myself by a group and I tend to always think of myself as an entity outside of the group. However, I do understand the social dynamics well enough to realize that if I anger one of my friends other close friends that this action could result in me losing them as a friend. I am also very aware of how I am effecting other people in a social group as well, it's just that most of the time I don't give a shit.
 

sarahmariev

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You sound rather SX/SO, but what would I know? Vive la difference!
 

Kasper

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I am curious how your blind spot manifests?

Sp:

In others it often feels boring and bland, like the unimportant things in life are given a level of importance I simply can't get excited about, or comprehend, so I tend to tune out to it, and at times find annoying. On the other (lesser) hand, it can be balancing for me to be around Sp doms as it is a area I pay no attention to.

In me it means I neglect many simple things in life, I can go without eating for days and not care, or notice, it's common for others to point out to me that I haven't eaten before I realise, and even then I'll say "yeah, I'll get something" then forget about it again, I used to have a colleague remind me each day that I should eat, and it was cute but annoying, cause I didn't really want to stop to eat most days. For me food is about the experience, weather it be the rich tastes that excite my Sx, or the interaction with others around food that satisfies my So, when it's simply for nourishment, it's a chore.

The idea of 'comfort food' perplexes me, there are simply foods that I like, and those I dislike, and they are not consumed in accordance with an emotional barometer.

I can be oblivious to issues of comfort, it's not a preoccupation so long as I'm not hot.

The idea of taking medication on a regular basis is full of fail for me, I always forget, or take it too late, even if there are physical consequences for me.

The idea of stopping something that I'm enjoying to go to sleep because I won't get an appropriate amount of sleep otherwise is foreign to me, I typically get less sleep than I should, and on occasion oversleep, it's rarely where it 'should' be.

I consider time to be an overrated concept, same with keeping a schedule. I dislike routine and predictable, or at least I can't stick to it.

What is 'practical' is often unimaginative and of less interest than what is idealistic, I am grounded in some ways, yet also very idealistic in focus.

Also, if you know your enneagram, tritype, and/or MBTI, it could be helpful to list those too.

ENTP 9w8 (7w8 4w3) So/Sx


I’m sp-last, and I really feel like all the things associated with it are a big pain in the butt. I hate stopping what I’m doing to eat, cook, sleep, etc. I usually forget that I need to eat or sleep until I’m halfway starving or falling over asleep in my chair. Actually getting to sleep has been an issue my entire life because I just don’t want to do it. And I swear that if it wasn’t for my best friend being sp-first, I wouldn’t know how to cook at all, haha.

I also relate well to the others who said they have trouble monitoring their bodies for pain for health reasons. If I’m not feeling pain right at the second that doctors ask me, I have no idea how to describe pain I have felt over the past few days or weeks or how to rate the amount of pain I’ve been in. Even if I know I need to monitor these things, actually trying to do it is annoying at the level of scraping nails on a chalkboard.

That works.
 

OrangeAppled

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It’s interesting reading the comments of people who are sx-last. It’s hard wrapping my head around that perspective.

I’m sp-last, and I really feel like all the things associated with it are a big pain in the butt. I hate stopping what I’m doing to eat, cook, sleep, etc. I usually forget that I need to eat or sleep until I’m halfway starving or falling over asleep in my chair. Actually getting to sleep has been an issue my entire life because I just don’t want to do it. And I swear that if it wasn’t for my best friend being sp-first, I wouldn’t know how to cook at all, haha.

I also relate well to the others who said they have trouble monitoring their bodies for pain for health reasons. If I’m not feeling pain right at the second that doctors ask me, I have no idea how to describe pain I have felt over the past few days or weeks or how to rate the amount of pain I’ve been in. Even if I know I need to monitor these things, actually trying to do it is annoying at the level of scraping nails on a chalkboard.

A lot of this is relatable to me & I'm sp first. Actually, you will see many who identify as iNtuitive in MBTI/Jungian theory note these things, just as many introverts identify with supposed so-last traits.

I'm not saying you are not sp-last, but it's more complex than that to be sp-dom. I hate stopping to eat & cook also & often forget or am totally oblivious to body signals, but it can become a fixation if I'm in a situation where I don't feel I have personal control of my well-being. Sp-dom is more like FREEDOM to provide for yourself, and as long as you feel you have that ability, then you may easily forget or become inconvenience by such "maintenance". This is why sp-dom are associated a bit with being detached & independent from people - its as if being too close to others can be a "threat" to your survival. But then this is also coming from an SO-last SP-dom, so forming social bonds & niches is not something I find comforting like many do (rather a chore & a confusing one at that).

As a side, a lot of Western culture is very SP, IMO. There's this emphasis on kids leaving home to be independent & support themselves, make their own way, etc. The cultures can make people very insular, not communal at all. SO is a blindspot in US culture, IMO. People often need organizations & whatnot to form social bonds/circles & find niches, as opposed to some cultures where group community interaction is just everyday life without anything formal necessary. As far as how this affects individuals, I think this is why many don't identity with so-first even if they are. It's not a cultural value (and most here are from Western cultures).
 

SD45T-2

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so/sp
As a side, a lot of Western culture is very SP, IMO. There's this emphasis on kids leaving home to be independent & support themselves, make their own way, etc. The cultures can make people very insular, not communal at all. SO is a blindspot in US culture, IMO. People often need organizations & whatnot to form social bonds/circles & find niches, as opposed to some cultures where group community interaction is just everyday life without anything formal necessary. As far as how this affects individuals, I think this is why many don't identity with so-first even if they are. It's not a cultural value (and most here are from Western cultures).
This may interest you: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/opinion/brooks-the-solitary-leaker.html?ref=davidbrooks&_r=0
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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sp/so
I'm not saying you are not sp-last, but it's more complex than that to be sp-dom. I hate stopping to eat & cook also & often forget or am totally oblivious to body signals, but it can become a fixation if I'm in a situation where I don't feel I have personal control of my well-being. Sp-dom is more like FREEDOM to provide for yourself, and as long as you feel you have that ability, then you may easily forget or become inconvenience by such "maintenance". This is why sp-dom are associated a bit with being detached & independent from people - its as if being too close to others can be a "threat" to your survival. But then this is also coming from an SO-last SP-dom, so forming social bonds & niches is not something I find comforting like many do (rather a chore & a confusing one at that).
I have a good friend who's sp/so, and I do see some of that in her. She's primarily a loner, with two or three large friend groups that she considers to be like family to her -- but if you're not part of those groups, there's no guarantee that you'll see her very often, because alone time and group time take priority. Whereas I'm so/sx, so for me it's group time first, then one-on-one time with closer friends -- and MAYBE I'll have time for self-care after that.

How would you describe sp as a blind spot, then? You understand the instinct much better than I do, so you'd obviously know better than me. (My description of sp-last earlier in the blog was a bit like the post you just rebutted...)
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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sp/sx
I have a good friend who's sp/so, and I do see some of that in her. She's primarily a loner, with two or three large friend groups that she considers to be like family to her -- but if you're not part of those groups, there's no guarantee that you'll see her very often, because alone time and group time take priority. Whereas I'm so/sx, so for me it's group time first, then one-on-one time with closer friends -- and MAYBE I'll have time for self-care after that.

How would you describe sp as a blind spot, then? You understand the instinct much better than I do, so you'd obviously know better than me. (My description of sp-last earlier in the blog was a bit like the post you just rebutted...)

I wouldn't necessarily say others are wrong in describing an SP blind spot. It is hard for me to imagine having it as a last instinct, much as it must be hard to imagine having SO last.

I think you touched on caring for your last instinct being bothersome & perhaps making you feel like a weakling or something like that. For an SP-dom, caring for those areas can often feel like a luxury, a pampering, an indulgence - "I DESERVE this because I worked for it" sort of thing.

To me, an SP-dom mom is not one who would feel any "guilt" in dropping her kids off at grandma's while she gets her hair done, or something like that. It's less about being hardworking & responsible & aware of bodily needs than feeling a perfect, natural right to care for oneself. However, this manifests in a lot of ways. I think my mom is sp first or second, an e6 & SJ, and for her, safety is paramount. There's nothing weak or nerdy or paranoid about making safety a focus. Even though I am SP first, safety means little to me. The e4 fix makes me take a more "pampering" and "indulgent" slant, because self-preservation is more emotional for me. e5 sp-dom can be hoarding of necessities but scornful of luxuries. It's really what the individual deems important for their individual, physical & emotional survival, and that is filtered through the lens of the ego fix.

I see SP last people as types who feel a guilt or, yes, sometimes a weakness over caring for their individual physical/emotional needs. I think this is why they project materialism or security-seeking onto SP-dom, which doesn't ring true when you are one (much as SO stereotypes can be projections from so-last types). So while I have a certain obliviousness or disinterest in some stereotypical SP things, I don't feel any guilt or weakness for caring for them when I am aware of them. And I tend to be aware of them most when I don't feel in control of the situation.

For an e1, who is fixated on perfectionism, sp last means less focus on a individual, physical strictness to be "perfect". For example, I notice sp first or second e1s (especially STJs) often follow strict diets, cutting out "bad" but enjoyable things like sugar or alcohol. I've seen SP last e1 types as being self-concious of their "laxness" there when made aware of it, but they don't ever really adopt any restrictions there themselves (not that are they exactly epicureans either). They kind of make an excuse & forget about it. There's a mix of a guilt & dismissal of it as silly. While I've heard them joke about never getting sick, they are less dramatic when they do. SP first/second e1s get all low e4ish when sick. I heard one describe passing out as "fainting". It just sounded SO dramatic. I don't know if those examples help illustrate what I'm getting at - that each type experiences/displays their instinctual stack through their ego fix.
 
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