Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What does your blind spot look like? (So, Sx, or Sp)

[EJCC]

That's funny to read because I'd totally see it as a failure. I arranged a birthday party when I had my birthday this year and I invited my close family to come. So I decided to prepare by having a cake to offer and so on but the problem was that I didn't have time to finish the cake. I considered it a catastrophe and a failure (let alone I felt incredibly incompetent at party hosting which just reinforced my feelings that this is not one of my strengths and I shouldn't do it again).

!!

I'm sure I would have felt similarly, initially -- but I think the difference is that if my friends/family reassured me that it wasn't a big deal, then I would trust them on that and wouldn't beat myself up about it too much. (But if they seemed like they didn't have a good time, I would have reacted exactly the same way that you did!) I'm guessing this is so-last vs. so-first, i.e. if external validation wouldn't have mattered to you, in deciding the severity/importance of what had happened with the cake.

Edit: That was presuming that your family was understanding and nice about it -- which I probably should not have presumed. I hope they were understanding and nice about it! Were they?

 

[RoadPaveMent]

I actually do desire close, deep relationships (socionics Fi-dom?), I'm just not up for them at this time in my life.

Intensity can turn me off. I have an Se-dom sx-dom friend (ex-roommate, currently in my dorm) and I don't want to know when someone's having a bad day because it upsets me. But you can always tell if she's having a bad day. So I try to avoid her but I still get guilt / worrying pains when I see her upset.

I had another Se-dom sx-dom friend, and when we got in an argument, she cried really really hard and ripped up a note I tried to give her, glaring at me and stomping away. To me, it was overdramatic, although to her, it was appropriately responding. She never considered my feelings about our hurt friendship after that, only her own. Other people who knew what was going on between us did think she was overreacting quite a bit.

One exception I have from people's lists is that I am not as in check with my body (inferior Se?). I have chronic muscular pain and I'm constantly being asked to rate my pain on a scale, if my pain has improved since the last appt, or how I'm feeling today. I DON'T KNOW! I HURT! I ALWAYS HURT! WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW MY LEVEL OF HURT AT EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY??

One thing I do agree with is that I am a boring person.

 

[Thalassa]

my blindspot is SP, and i recently made a post to someone who thought i was sx/sp which answers this pretty well:

sp's don't go skating highschool trusting that they'd always figure out a way to get out of trouble.

HAHAH. I took honors classes in high school, made As on tests and papers a lot of the time, and failed my homework or skipped class a little too often, which balanced itself out to me graduating with a C average. When I graduated, I didn't think I could spend one more second in school, so I didn't go to college until I had worked, been in a relationship, and traveled...I was well into my 20s, and for years I had nightmares I couldn't graduate high school, though I actually did graduate. I've had this "delayed reaction" to my counterphobic behaviors for years, like being really reckless as a teen, then around 23 developing panic attacks.

sp's in the military requested for officer training don't easily throw away the most stable career route.
sp's don't quit jobs and travel on their last cents again & again to deal with it when they come back.

I've quit so many jobs, moved across the country 4 times, and yeah...

sp's don't invest their own money into their own startup companies when they have nothing but debt.
sp's sexual tendencies aren't likely to tie in with exhibitionism, being caught, or dancing around sharing/cuckold.

Ha ha...I worked in the adult entertainment industry.

sp's don't climb out of debt by going to a new country to learn a new skill they have no idea if they are good at.
sp's don't fight with their apartment-providing job's bosses when they know it means being homeless for awhile.
sp's don't propose after 4 months of knowing someone thinking "i want to be with her forever anyway, why not?"

lol...I hope you were really young when you did the last one...

sp's don't immigrate without a work visa knowing they'll be dependent economically on someone completely.

sp's don't develop loving parental relationships with a child that can be taken from them on someone else's whim.

Yeah I don't relate at all to sp guardedness with feelings, especially as an sx dom. I probably find E5 sp dom to be the most difficult to relate to person, but maybe only after E1 sp dom.

I mean I could potentially scare the crap out of these people!

 

[Entropic]

!!

I'm sure I would have felt similarly, initially -- but I think the difference is that if my friends/family reassured me that it wasn't a big deal, then I would trust them on that and wouldn't beat myself up about it too much. (But if they seemed like they didn't have a good time, I would have reacted exactly the same way that you did!) I'm guessing this is so-last vs. so-first, i.e. if external validation wouldn't have mattered to you, in deciding the severity/importance of what had happened with the cake.

Edit: That was presuming that your family was understanding and nice about it -- which I probably should not have presumed. I hope they were understanding and nice about it! Were they?

Totally. My family reassured me and said it was just fine and one of my older cousins tried to make this remark that hey, it's like this kind of cake (not a cake in the English sense but like a soft cake) so it's nice but I was still like, "no, it's a total failure" deep inside. Probably doesn't help that I'm a competency type so when I really feel that I fail at something I think I fail pretty badly. I think if this had been about something else which didn't regard instinctual blind spot I would probably have cheered myself up and thought it's ok because I know I'm bad but in this case I just feel a lot of shame in relation to it also which I read is common when it comes to things regarding your blind spot since you perceive it as an apparent weakness.

I mean just thinking about it still makes me feel terrible XD On the other hand, had it been successful (in my eyes), I would probably have done the complete opposite and felt I'm so awesome at party hosting similar to when I figure out some social dynamic and I feel like I'm so smart for doing it.

 

[Amargith]

^

This.

 

[Animal]

Intensity can turn me off. I have an Se-dom sx-dom friend (ex-roommate, currently in my dorm) and I don't want to know when someone's having a bad day because it upsets me. But you can always tell if she's having a bad day. So I try to avoid her but I still get guilt / worrying pains when I see her upset.

This might actually provide a grounds for one example of my SO blind-spot (which I still don't fully understand, but I'm certain that SO is my blind-spot).

I've sometimes found out years later that someone else, or a group of people, found me too intense. I am very aware of the feelings of individual people, especially if I care about them; so if someone displayed emotion that showed me they were annoyed or aggravated, I would have noticed. However, I'm not always looking out for social cues, which is different from emotional cues, I think. If people don't have particular feelings about it that I can read, but instead, think in their minds "this person is such an intense jackass" - I won't notice. I don't care what people think of me unless I care about them personally; and I actually find it flattering when someone I don't care about talks about me behind my back or finds room in their hearts to hate me. So I have no reason to look for signals like this.

I guess that's an So blind spot?

 

[OrangeAppled]

sp's don't invest their own money into their own startup companies when they have nothing but debt.
sp's don't fight with their apartment-providing job's bosses when they know it means being homeless for awhile.
sp's don't propose after 4 months of knowing someone thinking "i want to be with her forever anyway, why not?"

I've done the first two essentially, and the last I might have done except I'm not a woman who would propose (but I'd probably accept that soon into something if it "felt right"). Some of this is Pe... But I do think my Pe gets inhibited in some ways by being sp-dom. I'd love to up & go to another country with no real plan or safety net for income & housing. But a part of me doesn't feel so confident in my ability to improvise, which Pe-dom have a better handle on.

Let's just keep in mind that sp-dom is not necessarily being stable or responsible, especially when you take core type into account.

I'm basically living in a guest room right now with no desire to set roots in a place of my own, half my stuff in storage, and after years of no steady work, I argue with my boss & take other liberties many would call reckless (I feel like bosses always love me more when I'm unapologetically authentic though; never been fired yet!). However, when I'm jobless I hustle & bustle to get income (whether successful or not). It becomes a focus to provide "independence" for myself. Once I feel some sense of it, I don't even necessarily use it (hence the guest room). The same with food - I just like to know it's there, and once I do, then I may forget to eat.

Anyhow, so last for me means:

- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

- You don't care about who is dating who or whatever dynamics are happening between people in a group. You don't even really understand these dynamics; it all looks silly to you. Often, you're oblivious to it all. You may only pick up on intimate dynamics between you & someone else.

- You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.

- You have trouble seeing the value of "reputation", have little to no awareness of your own rep, and don't put much stock in acknowledging others' reps (taking people at face value, sometimes to your detriment). Popularity means almost nothing to you.

- You're unaware of status & don't put stock in it, so any material sp related interests are very personal & about meeting individual needs

- Your home is set up to be comfortable to yourself, not company...you don't think in terms of "entertaining"

- You're unaware of your own influence on a group, and you may inadvertently be seen as a rebel force or a leader or an expert (because you unwittingly send out some signal that you're willing/able to do it).

- You're a loner, and it's not just because of shyness...

- You've never been a part of any clique or social circle & you've never cared to be.

- You can be widely known & active in a community of sorts, but not be a part of any circles within it. You're always on the fringe, keeping people at arm's length without even meaning to. Your purpose for being in a group is never to become a "part" of it

- You're neither suspicious nor trusting of people. You tend to respond to them according to how interesting they are to you & how interesting you are to them.

- You may blur lines when it comes to social/cultural categories, without being aware of it having any significance or offense to some people

- You're hot or cold, with little inbetween. You tend to talk at people in a disconnected way or magnetize & become magnetized, but casual, friendly interaction is hard.

- You refuse to get "involved" because you can't see the point of it

- It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice

- Politics are a big snooze fest. You might as well live under a rock when it comes to current events & celebrity gossip.

- SO types can seem full of BS but also "magical" with the way they bond comfortably or influence others

- You may assume people do/don't like you more than they do because you don't notice or understand signs of approval/disapproval. You may assume "invisibleness" too.

- You have to be careful not to always be a voice of dissent. You often fail to grasp the bonding processes people use to form social connections, so you don't jump on the "consensus bandwagon". You unwittingly make yourself an opposing force, someone for people to band against (this was a hard lesson in elementary school; I quickly withdrew once I experienced its effects)

Most of this is summed up as a lack of awareness of social dynamics, and then sometimes not caring even when aware because of a devaluing of its benefits. Also, comfort is not in "belonging", but in being an individual, as people relations are seen as something to excite & stir things up.

I think some is definitely related to core type & MBTI also... but this is how I experience so-last.

 

[Entropic]

This might actually provide a grounds for one example of my SO blind-spot (which I still don't fully understand, but I'm certain that SO is my blind-spot).

I've sometimes found out years later that someone else, or a group of people, found me too intense. I am very aware of the feelings of individual people, especially if I care about them; so if someone displayed emotion that showed me they were annoyed or aggravated, I would have noticed. However, I'm not always looking out for social cues, which is different from emotional cues, I think. If people don't have particular feelings about it that I can read, but instead, think in their minds "this person is such an intense jackass" - I won't notice. I don't care what people think of me unless I care about them personally; and I actually find it flattering when someone I don't care about talks about me behind my back or finds room in their hearts to hate me. So I have no reason to look for signals like this.

I guess that's an So blind spot?

Haha, I relate to this a lot too. There's a certain level of flattery in having people being so upset by your existence that you can't help but to like it.

 

[Southern Kross]

Interesting list [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION]. That fits with a lot of the Sp/Sx and Sx/Sp people I know.

To copy your style...

When you're Sx last:

- You're pretty easy-going and aren't too flummoxed when things are less than perfect. You think most people get too riled up about things that don't really matter much. Sometimes, while others are tearing their hair out, you can just shrug your shoulders and say, "oh well" and let it go.

- When you are stressed, it typically doesn't show on the outside. You can seem more calm and relaxed than you really are.

- You tend to keep your emotions in check. You don't like to lose your temper easily or burden others by breaking down.

- You find a lot of people to be self-indulgent in their unwillingness to curb their behaviour or emotions. You don't like to complain or cause too much bother unnecessarily, and would rather others didn't either.

- You're inclined to adapt to the situation. You not too fussed about most things and don't care too much about getting your way.

- You're pretty obliging and people sometimes take advantage of that. You can end up being a doormat at times.

- You're a pretty balanced, even-keeled individual. Even if you're a exuberant extrovert, you manage to keep a sort of consistency to your behaviour that people find comforting.

- You're tend to live relatively conservatively. You don't regularly engage in outlandish activities or dress in a way that stands out too much. Although, now and then, you can really surprise people.

- You recognise the value of the simple pleasures in life.

- People can find you bland and detached at times. You may wish you had more natural charm and charisma.

- You spread yourself broadly in terms of your interests. You're open-minded and have tried a little bit of everything: sports, music, films, books, food, cultures, people etc. You usually don't put too much stock in a single area of interest. You don't typically obsess over, say, a single author or genre of film, in such a way that excludes alternative styles or experiences.

- You struggle with intimacy and affection at times. You may crave closeness with others but can find it difficult to achieve it. You can feel easily overwhelmed when people demand too much from you. You prefer relationships that are more like romantic friendships.

- You rarely speak passionately about things that really matter to you, and can sound a little rehearsed when you do. You prefer not to openly demonstrate strength of feeling to prove how much you care about something or someone.

- People tend to like you - or at least they don't tend to dislike you. You're not the sort of person people HATE.

 

[Such Irony]

To copy your style...

When you're Sx last:

- You're pretty easy-going and aren't too flummoxed when things are less than perfect. You think most people get too riled up about things that don't really matter much. Sometimes, while others are tearing their hair out, you can just shrug your shoulders and say, "oh well" and let it go.

Yes, for me this is generally true but I don't think it would be so true for social 1's (or any 1's for that matter)

- When you are stressed, it typically doesn't show on the outside. You can seem more calm and relaxed than you really are.

Yes, generally true until I get into an inferior Fe episode.

- You tend to keep your emotions in check. You don't like to lose your temper easily or burden others by breaking down.

Yes

- You find a lot of people to be self-indulgent in their unwillingness to curb their behaviour or emotions. You don't like to complain or cause too much bother unnecessarily, and would rather others didn't either.

Yes, very much true

- You're inclined to adapt to the situation. You not too fussed about most things and don't care too much about getting your way.

For the most part, yes

- You're pretty obliging and people sometimes take advantage of that. You can end up being a doormat at times.

In some situations, yes. I don't see myself obliging to the point of being a doormat though. That sounds more like enneagram 9. I think my SP variant also keeps it in check too. I think a strong Social variant with weak SP may be more prone to this.

- You're a pretty balanced, even-keeled individual. Even if you're a exuberant extrovert, you manage to keep a sort of consistency to your behaviour that people find comforting.

Yes. Some may think I'm kind of boring but I disagree.

- You're tend to live relatively conservatively. You don't regularly engage in outlandish activities or dress in a way that stands out too much. Although, now and then, you can really surprise people.

Yes, very true.

- You recognise the value of the simple pleasures in life.

Yes

- People can find you bland and detached at times. You may wish you had more natural charm and charisma.

Yes, very much so

- You spread yourself broadly in terms of your interests. You're open-minded and have tried a little bit of everything: sports, music, films, books, food, cultures, people etc. You usually don't put too much stock in a single area of interest. You don't typically obsess over, say, a single author or genre of film, in such a way that excludes alternative styles or experiences.

Partly yes/partly no. There are a few interests like personality theory that I'm intensely passionate about and go deep with. In other areas of life, it's more broad. Like with music, for example, if you were to ask me what my top 5 favorite music artists are, I wouldn't even know where to begin answering that question. There's too many of them to name. I guess I like alot of different music but don't really get overly infatuated with any one particular musician or band.

Similar thing with books. I'm an avid reader but really it ends up being more like a fun diversion for me. I'm not really the sort of person who has books that change my life or anything like that. I read many different authors without being overly obsessed with any particular one.

However, there's lots of things in life I've never tried. Some things, I'm reluctant to- usually SP or SO overrides it. Too unsafe, too expensive (SP reasons) or don't want to make a fool of myself (SO reasons)

- You struggle with intimacy and affection at times. You may crave closeness with others but can find it difficult to achieve it. You can feel easily overwhelmed when people demand too much from you. You prefer relationships that are more like romantic friendships.

Yes, very much so

- You rarely speak passionately about things that really matter to you, and can sound a little rehearsed when you do. You prefer not to openly demonstrate strength of feeling to prove how much you care about something or someone.

Yes. I will speak out about a few things I feel passionate about and have done so on the forum but I think I have to be provoked and even then I may come across as somewhat emotionally detached- or try to. I think enneagram type also plays a role- I'm a 5.

- People tend to like you - or at least they don't tend to dislike you. You're not the sort of person people HATE.

In general yes. I think most people mildly like me or are indifferent towards me. At the very least, I'm generally one of those kind, inoffensive sorts of people. A few may dislike me but I don't think very many genuinely HATE me.

 

[RoadPaveMent]

Awesome list. One thing different for me, though, is passion for things I care about. I'm submissive and timid in person but people have told me that are totally shocked at my aggression in writing / online. They don't realize how opinionated I am. Their first impression of me is but then they get to know me and I'm more like . My coping style is passive-aggressive, not passive.

 

[RoadPaveMent]

Haha, I relate to this a lot too. There's a certain level of flattery in having people being so upset by your existence that you can't help but to like it.

Lol, that's funny!

I'm always quite angry or guilt-tripped when someone dislikes me...

 

[EJCC]

- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

This seems like a commonality in blind spots, in general -- based on how this thread is going so far. You go about your business with your first and second instincts, and only when you realize how crucial it is, do you include your third instinct -- and when you do, you include it minimally. You might also resent it a bit, because your value system almost ranks fulfilling those needs as a flaw.

In my case, for example, being Sp-last -- I mentioned earlier in the thread that sp needs tend to be an afterthought for me, but I didn't mention the fact that I tend to feel like a weakling if I have to fulfill them. I expect myself to be like the Energizer bunny, going and going without any need for maintenance -- an object in motion staying in motion, eternally. And it pisses me off when I end up needing maintenance. Why the hell would I need maintenance?? Can't I just tough out these last few miles and then fix myself up later? (Naturally, the idea of preventative maintenance is even less on my radar; and because of the "tough it out" mentality, people sometimes annoy me when they try preventative maintenance, or putting sp needs before others in a similarly obvious way.)

I'm guessing my MBTI comes into play here. :/ But my general point still stands, I think.

 

[Coriolis]

Anyhow, so last for me means:

- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

- You don't care about who is dating who or whatever dynamics are happening between people in a group. You don't even really understand these dynamics; it all looks silly to you. Often, you're oblivious to it all. You may only pick up on intimate dynamics between you & someone else.

- You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.

- You have trouble seeing the value of "reputation", have little to no awareness of your own rep, and don't put much stock in acknowledging others' reps (taking people at face value, sometimes to your detriment). Popularity means almost nothing to you.

- You're unaware of status & don't put stock in it, so any material sp related interests are very personal & about meeting individual needs

- Your home is set up to be comfortable to yourself, not company...you don't think in terms of "entertaining"

- You're unaware of your own influence on a group, and you may inadvertently be seen as a rebel force or a leader or an expert (because you unwittingly send out some signal that you're willing/able to do it).

- You're a loner, and it's not just because of shyness...

- You've never been a part of any clique or social circle & you've never cared to be.

- You can be widely known & active in a community of sorts, but not be a part of any circles within it. You're always on the fringe, keeping people at arm's length without even meaning to. Your purpose for being in a group is never to become a "part" of it

- You're neither suspicious nor trusting of people. You tend to respond to them according to how interesting they are to you & how interesting you are to them.

- You may blur lines when it comes to social/cultural categories, without being aware of it having any significance or offense to some people

- You're hot or cold, with little inbetween. You tend to talk at people in a disconnected way or magnetize & become magnetized, but casual, friendly interaction is hard.

- You refuse to get "involved" because you can't see the point of it

- It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice

- You may assume people do/don't like you more than they do because you don't notice or understand signs of approval/disapproval. You may assume "invisibleness" too.

- You have to be careful not to always be a voice of dissent. You often fail to grasp the bonding processes people use to form social connections, so you don't jump on the "consensus bandwagon". You unwittingly make yourself an opposing force, someone for people to band against (this was a hard lesson in elementary school; I quickly withdrew once I experienced its effects)

Most of this is summed up as a lack of awareness of social dynamics, and then sometimes not caring even when aware because of a devaluing of its benefits. Also, comfort is not in "belonging", but in being an individual, as people relations are seen as something to excite & stir things up.

I could have written most of this myself - it describes my experience of SO-last quite well. Comfort does lie in being an individual, but also in knowing I am able to provide for my own needs (perhaps result of e5 plus SP-first). The only exception is regarding reputation, especially in a professional sense. I appreciate the value of maintaining an impeccable professional reputation, as it makes it easier for me to get the resources I need to be successful. This is all a means to an end, though, and is easy to do since it is a natural by-product of the competency most 5s pursue.

This seems like a commonality in blind spots, in general -- based on how this thread is going so far. You go about your business with your first and second instincts, and only when you realize how crucial it is, do you include your third instinct -- and when you do, you include it minimally. You might also resent it a bit, because your value system almost ranks fulfilling those needs as a flaw.

Exactly. When I have to fall back on SO-type instincts, I feel like a fake, an impostor.

 

[Southern Kross]

Yes, for me this is generally true but I don't think it would be so true for social 1's (or any 1's for that matter)

Yeah, I don't know that I worded this well enough in universal terms. Js and 1s or 8s etc would not be as relaxed about this. But I think even a Sx-last 1 gives the impression of being a little more chill compared to other ones - even if it's only an external vibe they give off (perhaps concealing a more uneasy interior).

In some situations, yes. I don't see myself obliging to the point of being a doormat though. That sounds more like enneagram 9. I think my SP variant also keeps it in check too. I think a strong Social variant with weak SP may be more prone to this.

Maybe not a doormat per se. I was trying to convey that if you lack the Sx compulsion to satisfy your needs and desires, you're going to hang back and go with the flow more. You may go along with things more than you should.

Sp can make people rather stubborn but if something isn't actively causing significant inconvenience or discomfort, you''ll put up with a certain amount. I know Sp-firsts that are very selfless because they use the function to worry about others being inconvenienced - combine that with as So sense of duty and you can have an obliging person. I also know Sp-firsts can sometimes think they're very demanding but are more flexible than they realise.

Partly yes/partly no. There are a few interests like personality theory that I'm intensely passionate about and go deep with. In other areas of life, it's more broad. Like with music, for example, if you were to ask me what my top 5 favorite music artists are, I wouldn't even know where to begin answering that question. There's too many of them to name. I guess I like alot of different music but don't really get overly infatuated with any one particular musician or band.

Similar thing with books. I'm an avid reader but really it ends up being more like a fun diversion for me. I'm not really the sort of person who has books that change my life or anything like that. I read many different authors without being overly obsessed with any particular one.

However, there's lots of things in life I've never tried. Some things, I'm reluctant to- usually SP or SO overrides it. Too unsafe, too expensive (SP reasons) or don't want to make a fool of myself (SO reasons)

Oh, I'm the same - this is what I mean. I definitely have things I'm passionate about, but I'm not easily obsessive person - if that makes sense.

I agree that there are limits to that variety - I think that comes back to what I said about being conservative too. Sx-firsts also like to try things, although perhaps in more risky or adventurous ways.

Awesome list. One thing different for me, though, is passion for things I care about. I'm submissive and timid in person but people have told me that are totally shocked at my aggression in writing / online. They don't realize how opinionated I am. Their first impression of me is but then they get to know me and I'm more like . My coping style is passive-aggressive, not passive.

Yeah, I think we give out a calm, blithe vibe, and sometimes people take that to mean that there's not much more to us than that. I'm very opinionated and passionate about what I believe but it doesn't really show until I'm really challenged or in a situation where I feel free to express myself.

I didn't mean to say we aren't passionate people - it's just that we lack that raw, unadulterated intensity of Sx in everyday life. If you watched me and my Sx-first, sister in one of the wild arguments we used to have, you wouldn't be able to tell who was the Sx-user; we would appear to match in intensity levels. But those arguments were unbelievably draining for me, whereas my sister could sustain that level all day if she had to - and I think that is the difference. Perhaps I should say, Sx-lasts are more diffuse and selective in their passions.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....

This one is huge for me. It’s especially inconvenient on the work front- I’ve read recently that 70% of jobs available usually go to someone through networking rather than being posted publicly- but it’s a general inconvenience that spreads into practically every corner of life. And that’s exactly what it’s like: I won’t even realize I was on the outside looking in until I need something and I have no idea how to go about getting it.

-It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice

I wouldn’t say it’s almost impossible to snub me or that I don’t care, because I do notice it sometimes and it does sting- but yeah. And on top of that, I’m pretty sure I actually inadvertently snub people all the time myself on account of being oblivious to normal expectations. At least I think my obliviousness comes across as some kind of snub, even though it’s truly obliviousness and not intentional.

When I have to fall back on SO-type instincts, I feel like a fake, an impostor.

Yes, this is kinda a big problem too. It isn’t even that I necessarily have those thoughts about so dominants (fake, insincere, etc) for being able to gracefully navigate social situations- but when I try to emulate that fluidity myself I feel so completely out of sorts it feels wrong.

 

[EEW]

List in my signature. (so/sp)

Contras:
Having an sx as blind spot, is like having an instinct that says: "don't get too close"
I never kiss my mum or dad goodnight - I can't stand it (for no apparent reason, just because)
I never let anyone get too close, I rather keep some distance
I only allow people who I trust very extremly deeply to come close to me.
I never tell any personal stuff/problems/issues to anyone, except my best friend.
It is hard to get my trust, but once you have it, it is forever (if you don't do anything unpleasent or whatsoever)
Once I have a boyfriend (which is a rare case) I kiss/go to bed with him, but nothing too personal. Only when he has proved his loyality to me, then I will get personal.
I am fun in a group - always the quiet, witty, funny one, but once we're one-on-one I get VERY awkward.
I give out a very... distant vibe.
I can get aggressive (but not to such extent that I start smashing things or so) , when I am riled up/irritated.

Pros:
I am easygoing
I never am emotional unstable (even though I got a slight temper)
I never am stressed
I am reserved
People tend to say 'she's a friendly girl' or 'she's nice', they never hate me.
When I am relaxed I am passive and leisure.

That was a brief list of my blind spot. I got a few more instances, but I can't sum them up for the moment.

 

[Elfboy]

Enneagram theory would claim that people have a blind spot in their instinctual stacking. For instance, if your stack is Sp/Sx, you have a So blind spot.
I am curious how your blind spot manifests?
Also, if you know your enneagram, tritype, and/or MBTI, it could be helpful to list those too.

So blindspot
- networking makes me very uncomfortable, I have no idea how to do it and it makes me feel queasy
- I am oblivious to my position within the structure of an organization
- I have trouble keeping up to date with things/people. people frequent ask me "where have you been?" or "what planet are you from?"

something that's helped me get somewhat in touch with my blindspot (or at least become aware of it in the external world more) is, oddly enough, watching history documentaries. it's taught me a few tricks for navigating group structures, how to see the impact of how an action will effect different groups of people and how people acting in a unified group can accomplish a task far more quickly and efficiently than a single person.

 

[brainheart]

INFP, 4w5, sp/sx

Social last for me means:

Completely dreading going out with people when I'd much rather hang out by myself at home, even if I like some of the people. Alone time is far more desirable to me than people time. I spend typically six hours a day alone, minimum, and those hours are extremely precious to me. The only people I don't mind being around regularly are my offspring, who also happen to be introverts so there's a lot of respecting each other's need for solitude.

Not understanding why people feel this need to belong or garner the approval of others. I am an image type but often I feel like the only person I am trying to impress is myself.

Not having a social safety net, but rather a few disjointed friends in different parts of the country/world who have never met each other and probably never will.

I come from a big family and have no clue how to keep in touch with all of them. I talk to my parents every couple of months and one of my sisters every few months. It's all I can really handle.

Being the furthest thing from a team player imaginable. Every one close to me loves to point this out, as well as my avoidance of all things social. They think it's hilarious.

Constantly being confused by my social dom husband's motivations and why he chooses to spend his time the way he does.

All of my fantasies involve being alone in an ideal location- living on a houseboat alone, living in a camper alone, living in a cabin in the woods alone, turning my storage shed into my own personal hideout space, etc.

Getting 'little talks' from more socially aware people about how I shouldn't behave a certain way and having no clue why they care.

Also, my social instinct rears it's malformed, underdeveloped head on occasion. When this happens I begin to wonder if I'm a social dom because my ineptitude troubles me and I find myself focusing on my socially clueless flaws. These phases usually vanish just as quickly as they come because I really can't sustain any interest in it.

 

[Chiharu]

I originally thought I was an sx/sp, but now I think I'm sx/so. I don't plan or organize things well, and I kind of tend to just wing things and hope they work out. I also tend to overshare.