[so] So's who are introverts

[garbage]

We needed one of these, too.

I can see this phenomenon in the businessman or salesman type; one who is out in public, showing a cheery face and 'turnng it on' to the public during the day but loves his alone time. He uses social positioning as an innate source of security--he 'turns it on' when the situation calls, yet he is an introvert by nature.

What say you?

 

[RaptorWizard]

The internet is a great way for introverts to get connected without the fuss and struggle of social gatherings in filthy public junkyards!

 

[Cellmold]

I dont know whether im out or in when it comes to I or E. It's like a bellybutton of the mind.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I think [MENTION=9273]Vasilisa[/MENTION] is a great example of an introvert SO first.

She is very adept at getting conversations or activities rolling between people and vascilliating discourse that is interesting.

 

[cascadeco]

We needed one of these, too.

I can see this phenomenon in the businessman or salesman type; one who is out in public, showing a cheery face and 'turnng it on' to the public during the day but loves his alone time. He uses social positioning as an innate source of security--he 'turns it on' when the situation calls, yet he is an introvert by nature.

What say you?

This describes my ex very well. He's a very career-minded 3w2 so, and I think the 3 also heightens all of this and brings in more of a pressing concern for all of this. He's a techie sales-engineer sort, but is a system architect as far as path goes; but I think the 3so makes him a very unique sort of computer programmer/architect sort; he stands out a lot in his industry what with people skills/priority.

I think it's also why he's so talkative and friendly when out in public, and I mistook him for an extrovert initially; he insists he's an introvert though and having gotten to know him, I definitely agree.

 

[Fidelia]

I'm a SO first introvert. The profession I'm in works pretty well with that I think - I need lots of people interaction, but also need time after to recharge a bit alone. If I don't have that during my day, it ends up coming out of my sleep time.

 

[skylights]

I think I might have an INFJ 6w7 so/sp coworker. She's always keeping an eye out on everybody (in a positive way, she's protective) and is very focused on people trends - how a lot of people are out today because of X, or if it's quiet because of Y, etc. She's been with the company forever and is friendly with many people in upper management, and uses that as protection when she feels threatened (that in particular seems very so/sp 6 to me).

 

[garbage]

Oh. Well. This is a thing.

This describes my ex very well. He's a very career-minded 3w2 so, and I think the 3 also heightens all of this and brings in more of a pressing concern for all of this. He's a techie sales-engineer sort, but is a system architect as far as path goes; but I think the 3so makes him a very unique sort of computer programmer/architect sort; he stands out a lot in his industry what with people skills/priority.

I think it's also why he's so talkative and friendly when out in public, and I mistook him for an extrovert initially; he insists he's an introvert though and having gotten to know him, I definitely agree.

This, in turn, describes me very well. My background is all technical, but I've joined that background with an interest in psychology, sociology, and related fields. I'm also a hardcore team player by nature. Moreover, my job absolutely demands that we 'sell' ourselves, and my preferred tactic is to use a little bit of charm to get a foot in the door rather than prattle on about technical details that even I don't care about.

Also,

I need lots of people interaction, but also need time after to recharge a bit alone. If I don't have that during my day, it ends up coming out of my sleep time.

this.

I'd never thought about that last sentence, but it's very true of me.

--

In short, even introverts can be of the mind that we work best when we work together--or at least when we work toward common goals.

 

[EJCC]

I think my dad might be INTP so/sp; he does exactly what you describe in the OP, [MENTION=5578]bologna[/MENTION]. He's the most adept at using his inferior function productively, of almost anyone I know, always schmoozing, chatting with coworkers, making sure he gets to everyone equally. (He's also easily embarrassed, and will sometimes lecture me and my mom for embarrassing him in public, e.g. for bursting into song at the grocery store. ) He always seems to want to do the type of social things that involve seeing random people you know in large crowded spaces with a strict social code -- e.g. farmers markets, gallery showings -- as if it's some sort of duty for him to schmooze.

But at the same time... he has no friends, and that's out of his own personal choice. He's completely compartmentalized, between his social self at work, and then plopping himself down in front of the TV/his laptop at home to recharge. (This is where I see his 5w6; I was convinced that he was some other type because I thought he was way too cheerful/social for that, but he said he related to it, so... )

 

[Ene]

I'm an introvert, but I can mingle, charm, dazzle and take control when I have to, but if left to my "rathers"...I'd rather be out hiking or walking through the woods and fields. I can literally work for hours and hours alone and be perfectly fine. I can also be in the public constantly but at the end of the day, I must find alone time, just like fidelia said.

 

[VagrantFarce]

Socially-minded, without being all that social. It's been done.

 

[Hopelandic]

It would seem to me, to make for a good combination. A worldly-ness that grants an introvert a bit of stability, in the sense that there is something preventing you from spiralling inwards. Or being too internally trapped. I can only wish for this.

Introverted Social types seem to me, to be very good at putting together their own worldview or thoughts on the world.

 

[Hopelandic]

I've said before that I feel SO is close to Fe

 

[Southern Kross]

Socially-minded, without being all that social. It's been done.

Indeed. I'm practically anti-social in my day to day behaviour. When I'm around people it will come out more but this can be a politeness/obligation thing. I can certainly be a lot chattier than the average INFP 4w5 but it comes and goes. I can be very friendly and sociable one minute, and the next I'm withdrawn and aloof and will wander off to the corner to busy myself. Social situations can be a lot of fun for me or painfully awkward and torturous - it makes me err on the side of caution a lot of the time.

I think it comes out more in other ways for me. I keep in touch with the goings on in the world; what the current zeitgeist is; what music/movies/books are successful and/or critically acclaimed; current social trends, comparing cultural/social differences etc. That's not to say I necessarily care about what is 'cool' - I couldn't care less about Justin Beiber, Twilight and a whole boat load of other popular things. I just like to keep track of the social/cultural/political temperature and to see how that reflects current events, contemporary society and human behaviour. The 4 So is the social critic/commentator and that fits me perfectly.

My ISTP dad is a so/sp too and he can come across as very gregarious. He's the nice guy that everyone likes and couldn't think of a bad thing to say about. He's very adaptable and laid-back and can talk to just about anyone. It makes him seem a little more extroverted than he is but he is still firmly an introvert.

 

[Bilateral Entry]

The internet is a great way for introverts to get connected without the fuss and struggle of social gatherings in filthy public junkyards!

I figured out I like internet socializing best.

 

[garbage]

The internet is a great way for introverts to get connected without the fuss and struggle of social gatherings in filthy public junkyards!

I figured out I like internet socializing best.

There's this, too. You sacrifice some real-time interaction, context, facial cues, etc.; but it's easier to find a group of folks with common interests and with enough diversity to keep things engaging. Moreover, a group of friends and I keep in touch in real time via chat almost daily. It's all so convenient.

Hell, it's the way socializing is trending anyway--toward convenience. Texting back and forth is no different than using a chat program, and even the most extroverted of extroverts are known to love their textin'.

Lines are being blurred, my friends.

I dont know whether im out or in when it comes to I or E. It's like a bellybutton of the mind.

Yeah. Given that there are so many different definitions of introversion and extroversion out there; whether colloquial, Jungian, etc.; I just chalk myself up as an ambivert and am done with it

 

[PeaceBaby]

I'm an introvert so-dom too. I relate to [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION] 's post about enjoying people and being involved yet needing the recharge, staying up late to get it (which I always note is so counter-productive for me! ).

The need for more recharge-time seems to have increased as I have gotten older. Plus, I am losing some of my previous need to really be the grease that holds it all together, be everything to everyone and try to be liked by the group. I'm changing somehow.

Some of that "need to please" is the 9 in my tritype. I also have 3 and 7 in there, both outgoing energies. I find being Fi-dom and so-dom a challenging dichotomy at times.

Since I don't relate as much to SK's post as I thought I might, I too am pondering the difference between us being 4 vs 9. Must look some of that up.

 

[Southern Kross]

The need for more recharge-time seems to have increased as I have gotten older. Plus, I am losing some of my previous need to really be the grease that holds it all together, be everything to everyone and try to be liked by the group. I'm changing somehow.

Some of that "need to please" is the 9 in my tritype. I also have 3 and 7 in there, both outgoing energies. I find being Fi-dom and so-dom a challenging dichotomy at times.

Since I don't relate as much to SK's post as I thought I might, I too am pondering the difference between us being 4 vs 9. Must look some of that up.

Really? You'd think Social INFPs would have more in common (it being slightly strange and all). Like you say, it's probably is a 4 vs. 9 difference. Here's some comparisons:

Social Subtype Nines work extremely hard on behalf of a group, organization, or cause that they support or belong to as a way of not focusing on themselves. Social subtype Nines are usually very friendly, and their need to feel a part of things is rooted in their underlying feeling of not fitting in. Thus, Nines sacrifice themselves in the service of others, rarely showing the pain, stress, and overwork they experience as a result.

Social Subtype Fours focus more on their deficiencies and also on earning the understanding and appreciation of the groups to which they belong. They want understanding and appreciation for their suffering and sorrows, and desire acknowledgment for their heartfelt contributions to groups, while at the same time they often feel marginal to or not fully part of groups.

Type 9: Participation

In the social domain you join with a group and channel your sloth or inertia into comforting group and social activities. Through participation, you feel included and loved. You can totally forget your own agenda as you fill up with social interaction and activities. In leadership you can be quite selfless. You dispense and disperse your energy into timetables, procedures, roles and goals. You promote the welfare of the group or community through your selfless participation and ability to mediate. You can find a comfortable niche and sense of belonging. Moreover, participation and defined activities keep you from experiencing the inertia or sloth toward yourself. At your worst, you can get swallowed up in the minutia of group activities, and become preoccupied with fitting in. You don’t speak up when you know a better way, because it’s easier to go along to get along.

Type 4: Shame/counter-shame

In the social domain you easily can feel shame for not measuring up or being a “misfit.” You feel that your protective cover is removed and that your deficiencies or shortcomings will be exposed publicly. You mitigate your envy through shame. You want to hide your defects and deficiencies, keep your fatal flaws from being detected and avoid disgrace. Your shame also helps you feel or keep a connection to others: “They’ll notice me and my deficiencies, and I’ll matter.” This makes you feel special in the eyes of others. Shame also motivates you to do better – create an elegant image, produce pride of elitism, look unique and special, in short to develop counter-shame and a sense of honor for your integrity and what you do for the group. You may become an emotional truth-teller in the group. At your worst, shame can lead to retraction into self-absorption, depression or despair.

Point Nine - Participation (the Community Benefactor)
This sub-type blends well with the style and agenda of their friends and various social groups. The high side is leadership and selfless contribution for the common good; the problem is the tendency to "fall asleep" in a comfortable social role or through indiscriminate activities.

Point Four - Shame/Honor (the Critical Commentator)
Feelings of deficiency can be provoked by social situations, with envy directed toward other people's status or membership. This sub-type seeks to establish an acceptable social role, possibly as the emotional truth teller for the group. There is a need to resolve the tension between the quest for individual authenticity and social expectations.

It seems social 9s are a lot more involved, participatory and activity driven than the social 4s. You get the sense with the 4 descriptions is that actual socialising is not necessarily required. It's more about feeling divided from the group and yet tied to it at the same time. I always think of myself as having one foot in the group and one foot out, which is a pretty unique position to be in (most people are one or the other), and that offers a position of both insider knowledge and yet distance from which to observe and comment.

 

[Kasper]

Really? You'd think Social INFPs would have more in common (it being slightly strange and all). Like you say, it's probably is a 4 vs. 9 difference. Here's some comparisons:

It seems social 9s are a lot more involved, participatory and activity driven than the social 4s. You get the sense with the 4 descriptions is that actual socialising is not necessarily required. It's more about feeling divided from the group and yet tied to it at the same time. I always think of myself as having one foot in the group and one foot out, which is a pretty unique position to be in (most people are one or the other), and that offers a position of both insider knowledge and yet distance from which to observe and comment.

9 So participation isn't really participation, it's a desire for it, a desire to belong, without actually ever really having it. A 9 So stays on the edges wanting to feel a sense of belonging to the group that doesn't happen. And like all So doms the Social/Anti-social switch happens. The thing with 9 So doms is they are friendly and likeable so people expect them to be fitting in. So in this respect the two types share a common feeling, for 4s it's being divided, for 9s it's not belonging, and both would be seeking the opposite.

 

[Southern Kross]

9 So participation isn't really participation, it's a desire for it, a desire to belong, without actually ever really having it. A 9 So stays on the edges wanting to feel a sense of belonging to the group that doesn't happen. And like all So doms the Social/Anti-social switch happens. The thing with 9 So doms is they are friendly and likeable so people expect them to be fitting in. So in this respect the two types share a common feeling, for 4s it's being divided, for 9s it's not belonging, and both would be seeking the opposite.

Thanks. That's interesting. They don't sound so different after all.