Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx Considered "Dark"?

[skylights]

Necro'd... I was digging through old threads and found this. Sorry, Coriolis, that it took me half a year to get back to you.

How do you think the two (sp/sx vs. sx/sp) compare in terms of the idea of darkness referenced in the OP?

Well, I think the aspect termed "dark" is a result of several struggles: pain/yearning, forgoing the greater world, rawness/no sugarcoating, feeling divided between self-preservation and giving life to another - all issues revolving around conflict, in particular the conflict between containing and protecting the self and presenting and sacrificing the self. Without the force of So tugging outward and easing the war over the self, the two Sx-and-Sp types may well be the most internally conflicted of the stackings, constantly being tugged on one end by the need to nourish and safeguard their selves and on the other by the drive to throw their selves into something that will outlast them.

Sx/Sp errs to the side of death, prioritizing the depth and intensity of the connection over the preservation of the self, and therefore probably is the "darkest" stacking of all. The curious thing about the stackings that I've noticed is that while the secondary instinct supports the primary, it also is brought into stark relief by the primary. In some ways, we may be more consciously abusive towards our secondary instinct because we are more actively discarding it, while the last instinct is often simply passively neglected. We can therefore see the discarding of the self most clearly in Sx/Sp and So/Sp, but in So/Sp's case we as outsiders can understand it better, because we are part of the So landscape. Sx/Sp's choice, however, is so much more isolated from us as observers that it seems much more reckless and nonsensical. I think this is what ultimately gives it the most dramatic, outwardly expressed "darkness" - what is more dark than inexplicable self-destruction? Of course, Sx/Sp's fire also burns the brightest, and they come the closest to Sx's goal of transcending temporal existence, self-immolating into immortality. I think of that Kerouac quote:

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.

Sp/Sx errs to the side of life, while deliberately sacrificing immortality - a close second in terms of darkness. Already insulated from the Social arena, the Sp/Sx further removes themself even from their deepest passions, with the goal of preserving their existence - raising the question, what are you living for? So just as Sx/Sp clings to life in the throes of self-sacrifice, Sp/Sx gives their self away in the smaller moments of daily life, melting into food, drink, comfort, sleep, sex, music, romance. Sp/Sx's darkness is deeper inside. At the same time, the Sp/Sx embodies the Sp wisdom of celebration of life itself, and the Sp/Sx becomes an embodiment of the mystic, the mortal, living, loving, working, striving, ever in communion with immortality.

Those are my thoughts, anywho.

 

[Qlip]

I was driving with a friend over a bridge, and I was explaining how I get a type of 'vertigo' on heights. And it's not that I'm afraid of heights. It's that I'm afraid that I'll want to drive off a bridge or jump off a building. I feel similar about the ocean, something about it makes me just want to be part of it, completely. That's my sx nature and my sp nature intensifies the feeling, it feels as if it's a dare to myself.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

^I have an xnfp friend who hates grating cheese because she is afraid she'll grate her fingers off on purpose. It's sorta the same thing I think. Interesting.

I had these anxious moments on the local gondola at the ski mountain here in the summer. Whilst riding down it, this recurring thought kept going through my head that I might jump off at any moment. I had to get my kids to talk to me constantly to get me through that long ride. Anxiety doesn't really bother me anymore ever now. I used to have sleepless nights full of hypochondriasis and other worries, fear of dying by wild animal, car wrecks, etc. Then one day it just all seemed to melt away and it didn't bother me anymore. I don't know if it was my age (late 30's) or if I just accepted that when it was my time, it would be my time, and that was that.

 

[Azure Flame]

I don't feel particularly dark and I'm Sx/So. Although I do listen to music like velvet acid christ and type o negative. If you want to consider that dark. Although I gather I'm rather unapproachable in demeanor.

The 4 Sp/Sx I'm dating has a big affinity to dangerous situations. We went to a hookah bar that looked like an opium den... it was pretty intense, haha.

 

[Entropic]

What they mean by dark is probably that sx doms, in particular, can come across as having a "threatening" presence. By threatening one could just mean socially threatening, that they have big personalities, and may be notorious - known by many, but loved and hated in equal measure, not necessarily entirely well-liked for being such a socially acceptable person.

Oh. That put my instincts in even further perspective, heh. I have been trying to wrap my head around why this is lately, not just online but also to a large degree, IRL. It does describe how people tend to perceive me on forums, though, quite spot on so. It's just hard to take notice of me, and I find that people formulate an opinion about me one way or another and I don't even try that hard.

 

[cascadeco]

Necro'd... I was digging through old threads and found this. Sorry, Coriolis, that it took me half a year to get back to you.

Well, I think the aspect termed "dark" is a result of several struggles: pain/yearning, forgoing the greater world, rawness/no sugarcoating, feeling divided between self-preservation and giving life to another - all issues revolving around conflict, in particular the conflict between containing and protecting the self and presenting and sacrificing the self. Without the force of So tugging outward and easing the war over the self, the two Sx-and-Sp types may well be the most internally conflicted of the stackings, constantly being tugged on one end by the need to nourish and safeguard their selves and on the other by the drive to throw their selves into something that will outlast them.
Sx/Sp errs to the side of death, prioritizing the depth and intensity of the connection over the preservation of the self, and therefore probably is the "darkest" stacking of all. The curious thing about the stackings that I've noticed is that while the secondary instinct supports the primary, it also is brought into stark relief by the primary. In some ways, we may be more consciously abusive towards our secondary instinct because we are more actively discarding it, while the last instinct is often simply passively neglected. We can therefore see the discarding of the self most clearly in Sx/Sp and So/Sp, but in So/Sp's case we as outsiders can understand it better, because we are part of the So landscape. Sx/Sp's choice, however, is so much more isolated from us as observers that it seems much more reckless and nonsensical. I think this is what ultimately gives it the most dramatic, outwardly expressed "darkness" - what is more dark than inexplicable self-destruction? Of course, Sx/Sp's fire also burns the brightest, and they come the closest to Sx's goal of transcending temporal existence, self-immolating into immortality. I think of that Kerouac quote:


Sp/Sx errs to the side of life, while deliberately sacrificing immortality - a close second in terms of darkness. Already insulated from the Social arena, the Sp/Sx further removes themself even from their deepest passions, with the goal of preserving their existence - raising the question, what are you living for? So just as Sx/Sp clings to life in the throes of self-sacrifice, Sp/Sx gives their self away in the smaller moments of daily life, melting into food, drink, comfort, sleep, sex, music, romance. Sp/Sx's darkness is deeper inside. At the same time, the Sp/Sx embodies the Sp wisdom of celebration of life itself, and the Sp/Sx becomes an embodiment of the mystic, the mortal, living, loving, working, striving, ever in communion with immortality.


Those are my thoughts, anywho.

Great post [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]. I really identify with it- specifically the bolded.

 

[Lady_X]

Necro'd... I was digging through old threads and found this. Sorry, Coriolis, that it took me half a year to get back to you.



Well, I think the aspect termed "dark" is a result of several struggles: pain/yearning, forgoing the greater world, rawness/no sugarcoating, feeling divided between self-preservation and giving life to another - all issues revolving around conflict, in particular the conflict between containing and protecting the self and presenting and sacrificing the self. Without the force of So tugging outward and easing the war over the self, the two Sx-and-Sp types may well be the most internally conflicted of the stackings, constantly being tugged on one end by the need to nourish and safeguard their selves and on the other by the drive to throw their selves into something that will outlast them.

Sx/Sp errs to the side of death, prioritizing the depth and intensity of the connection over the preservation of the self, and therefore probably is the "darkest" stacking of all. The curious thing about the stackings that I've noticed is that while the secondary instinct supports the primary, it also is brought into stark relief by the primary. In some ways, we may be more consciously abusive towards our secondary instinct because we are more actively discarding it, while the last instinct is often simply passively neglected. We can therefore see the discarding of the self most clearly in Sx/Sp and So/Sp, but in So/Sp's case we as outsiders can understand it better, because we are part of the So landscape. Sx/Sp's choice, however, is so much more isolated from us as observers that it seems much more reckless and nonsensical. I think this is what ultimately gives it the most dramatic, outwardly expressed "darkness" - what is more dark than inexplicable self-destruction? Of course, Sx/Sp's fire also burns the brightest, and they come the closest to Sx's goal of transcending temporal existence, self-immolating into immortality. I think of that Kerouac quote:

Sp/Sx errs to the side of life, while deliberately sacrificing immortality - a close second in terms of darkness. Already insulated from the Social arena, the Sp/Sx further removes themself even from their deepest passions, with the goal of preserving their existence - raising the question, what are you living for? So just as Sx/Sp clings to life in the throes of self-sacrifice, Sp/Sx gives their self away in the smaller moments of daily life, melting into food, drink, comfort, sleep, sex, music, romance. Sp/Sx's darkness is deeper inside. At the same time, the Sp/Sx embodies the Sp wisdom of celebration of life itself, and the Sp/Sx becomes an embodiment of the mystic, the mortal, living, loving, working, striving, ever in communion with immortality.

Those are my thoughts, anywho.

i'm positive without question that i'm sx/sp and my bf is sp/sx so this was cool to read after some talks we've been having about how it causes issues for us.

 

[Azure Flame]

Dark, as in their life is a miserable mess and they're always struggling to fix it. They're attracted to dangerous places like opium dens and strip clubs filled with biker gangs.

Compare that to me, sx/so, Where I strive to be a hang gliding instructor, listen to drum'n'bass, and go surfing in the sun and drink Midori sours on the boardwalk while watching happy beach bums play the guitar for change.

 

[Lady_X]

or dark like the thing you crave most...profound love and connection... will be aggressively pushed away if not met with equal intensity....ultimately just torturing yourself.

 

[Tiltyred]

Dark, as in their life is a miserable mess and they're always struggling to fix it. They're attracted to dangerous places like opium dens and strip clubs filled with biker gangs.

Aha. Ok, this at least I can be sure of ...