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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Manifestations of Instinctual Variants

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Bouncing off of [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]'s thread about the "two types of Sx doms", noting the two prominent archetypes of romantic sx-dom and thrill-seeking sx-dom, I am curious about manifestations of the sx drive that depart from these two.

Gathered thus far:

SX

Focus on: intensity, prolonging, engagement, passion, attention, sensation, merging

- Romantic, true-love, passionate emotional bonding
- Intellectual merging, sharing of thoughts, ideas, knowledge
- Extreme sport thrill-seeking
- Tendency to linger in sensation
- Engaging in the same sensation over and over
- Deep engagement with art and music
- Promiscuity
- Addiction, true "junkie"
- Yearning, longing
- Fear of loss of sex appeal
- Enjoyment of personal physical comforting (snuggling, cuddling)
- Dressing in an attention-grabbing way
- Enjoying "immersing" scenarios (rave, club, etc)
- Milking every experience for what it's worth
- Disregard/avoidance of settings without opportunity for bonding
- Engaging others through bonding
- Being able to create "magical" experience for others
- Strong reaction from others
- Love for the dramatic

SO

Focus on: role, position, belonging, hierarchy, communication, adaptation, contribution

- Desire and enjoy an important role in groups
- Team player - "the group comes first"
- Friendly with many, but close to few
- Often compare self to peers
- Fear of public humiliation
- Awareness of what others think of you
- Like to be able to fit in
- Graceful entrance and exit
- Desire to know what's going on in the larger sphere


SP

Focus on: independence, self-sufficiency, needs, stability, comfort, safety, trust, balance

- Sensitive to physical and emotional comfort and discomfort
- Fixation with food - quality, taste, texture, availability
- Skepticism
- Assess risk before actions, avoid risk, awareness of consequence
- Fewer but more stable relationships
- Trust issues
- Focus on financial stability, hate being in debt
- Routines/habits - sticking to the usual
- Concerned with health
- Hot/cold nature, withdraw when preoccupied
- Ability to balance needs, desires / Limitation of overindulgence
- Integrity and commitment
- Prioritizing time for oneself
- Attention to personal spaces, home is a sanctuary, enjoy personalizing/decorating
- Preference for closed settings
 
Last edited:

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This is sort of an attempt, as I can't speak for every Sp.

- Focus on stability/security/comfort
- Skepticism
- Wonders ''what can go wrong'' before taking any action
- Tendency to procrastinate
- Fewer but more stable relationships
- Trust issues
 

Etherea

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Jun 27, 2012
Messages
102
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xNFP
Enneagram
9
This is sort of an attempt, as I can't speak for every Sp.

- Focus on stability/security/comfort
- Skepticism
- Wonders ''what can go wrong'' before taking any action
- Tendency to procrastinate
- Fewer but more stable relationships
- Trust issues

I would agree with that. Can't think of anything else to add though
 

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
I think this is how the instincts manifest in me:

Sp
-Comfort seeking
-Sensitive to physical comfort/discomfort
-Careful, avoid risks
-Saver (as opposed to spender)
-Routines/habits - sticking to the usual
-Concerned with health, research potential health issues

So
-Enjoys having an important role in a group
-Team player - "the group comes first"
-Friendly to everyone, but not particularly close to anyone (influenced by sx last)
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm Sp/Sx

Sp
- constantly seeking comfort and notice when it isn't there
- frequently complain about the temperature
- financial stability is VERY important to me
- excess money is great too.
- I demand tasty food. the point of food is to taste good, not to be "tolerable". screw tolerable, I want delicious damn it!
- I have extreme intolerance to physical pain
- things>people
- when I go to a party, the first things I notice are "where are the snacks?" "do they look tasty?" "do I like the music?" "does it smell good or is everyone sweaty and disgusting?" "where can I sit down?" "is it comfortable"
- strong awareness of the consequences of my actions (which contrasts starkly with the typical 7 descriptions)

Sx
- I love to listen to really intense music and repeat the song over and over
- I'm terrified of getting old and losing my sex appeal :(
- I love to snuggle. I could snuggle all day with someone I really care about :laugh:
- I like to dress in a bold, fiery, flamboyant and attention grabbing fashion. (blending in is for losers LOL)
- get intensely addicted to things. (I want MORE damn it!)
- I think my love of opera and anime both stem from the Sx drive for intensity and drama
 

Phoenix

New member
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Jul 31, 2011
Messages
328
MBTI Type
XNTX
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Here they are for me:

sx [strong]

- High amounts of passion, intensity, emotional bonding
- Intellectual merging, sharing of thoughts, ideas and knowledge
- Extreme sports like extreme roller-blading, high-speed driving, rash behaviour that may or may not inflict self-harm [don't really care if it does]
- Dancing at clubs/raves
- Milking every experience for what it's worth
- Complete avoidance and disregard of any social setting / group where there isn't a chance to have a high intensity experience
- Attracting others to myself through the promise all forms of highly passionate communication and bonding experiences. This also includes sharing darker aspects of my personality, appealing to people's empathy and also providing my own empathy if need be
- Over-dramatization and expression in a way that makes it magical for someone else. In fact, I've actually been told that by a number of people in their communication with me that once I have them hooked, they can't leave.
- People miss me when I'm gone and they come back seeking the bonding/merging experiences I have had with them.
- People either love me or hate me. And yes, people who have loved me at one point have grown to hate me just as I have.

sp [weak]

- I have a very hot/cold nature about how I go about things. I have an off switch just like I have an on switch - and I can be one or both seemingly at will.
- Balancing all of the above into manageable experiences
- Limiting the desires to over-indulge by adding an element of caution
- Integrity, commitment, loyalty to job in order to make life comfortable for myself and my partner
- Finding time for myself to do the things I love to do on my own
- I don't care what shape or form my house/living space takes as long as myself and my SO are comfortable
- Preference of intimate, closed settings where I can indulge in the merging with someone else.

so [last]

- Enjoy some get togethers with groups of 2 or more, but mostly if there's at least one person there I'm merged with
- Enjoying only activities that I personally enjoy [I guess this is mostly sx/sp again] and being dragged along after some intense emotional manipulation has taken place by someone else forcing me to go along
- Complete avoidance of parties if I'm not in the mood. In fact, I'm pretty much never in the mood for a party. I have to be forced. Until and unless I can find someone I like and have them all to myself 100% of the time.
 

Burger King

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Sep 25, 2011
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338
Enneagram and MBTI was easy to figure out. Instinctual variants on the other hand, I don't get. Problem is both my social and sexual variant are problems to me. I can't tell if one is a problem because it is dominant or if i I naturally am bad with it because it is a "blindspot."

Questions:
Is it simply awareness? For example, I am preoccupied with finding and attracting a, err...partner. But I am not a promiscuous person and when I do identify someone I like, I don't seek after them. Actually, I do the opposite and try to distract myself, talking to others, trying to get the person out of my mind. Is this a SX dom thing or SX last thing?
 

Phoenix

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Jul 31, 2011
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328
MBTI Type
XNTX
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Enneagram and MBTI was easy to figure out. Instinctual variants on the other hand, I don't get. Problem is both my social and sexual variant are problems to me. I can't tell if one is a problem because it is dominant or if i I naturally am bad with it because it is a "blindspot."

Questions:
Is it simply awareness? For example, I am preoccupied with finding and attracting a, err...partner. But I am not a promiscuous person and when I do identify someone I like, I don't seek after them. Actually, I do the opposite and try to distract myself, talking to others, trying to get the person out of my mind. Is this a SX dom thing or SX last thing?

Sounds to me like you're strong sp with sx second.

An sx dom will mostly typically do what they can to attract someone they like and not hold back. The thing is that they won't necessarily attract another person they feel that chemistry with as a romantic partner, but there are various shades of merging with other people for sx-doms and they're not always only romantic.
 

Etherea

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Jun 27, 2012
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102
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xNFP
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9
Sp

-sensitivity to temperature
-sensitivity to loud noises when I'm not in the right mood
-fixation with food. Constantly evaluate what's available, what I would prefer and I'm also quite picky
-physical and emotional comfort incredibly important to me
-love decorating and making things look nice
-financial stability very important. I panic easily about money (but I'm terrible at saving)
-seem very hot and cold. Can't help but withdraw when unhappy or preoccupied

Sx (pretty strong influence)

-love intense conversations, but don't always have the energy for them
-prefer intense relationships and have been disappointed when I couldn't get as close as I wanted
-like dancing/club like atmospheres when I'm in the mood
-some people cling to me and can't seem to get enough
-when healthy, people either love or hate me, there's not much middle ground
-love dressing well and standing out
 

Burger King

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Messages
338
Sounds to me like you're strong sp with sx second.

An sx dom will mostly typically do what they can to attract someone they like and not hold back. The thing is that they won't necessarily attract another person they feel that chemistry with as a romantic partner, but there are various shades of merging with other people for sx-doms and they're not always only romantic.



Yeah, I didn't mean to imply that it was only a romantic thing (I know it's not). It's just I've had so much problems in this department, especially when I was younger. I was very volatile. I wanted to connect with people, but was unable to for various reasons. I used to think I was SO second or first, but after reading a lot on this topic, I've realized that it's actually a blindspot of mines. I feel like I can come off too strong, and then I'll withdraw, back off, and act all aloof when I sense that I'm coming on too strong.

I've also related to some stuff regarding SX last. There is a thread that describes public display of affection and it seems that SX last variants to do not like that. I don't like PDA either. The reason I don't like it is because it brings about a sense of inadequacy and feelings of being unloved. It reminds me that I'm unable to form connections as easily.
 

SubtleFighter

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Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
253
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Just looking at myself (I'm new to the instinctual variants), I can definitely see the addictive side (I get obsessive with things to the point of consummation) and the lingering on intense experiences. Also the yearning.

How about this: I also have a love for fiction that is . . . for lack of a better word, melodramatic. What I mean is fiction that displays a heightened sense of reality. (Although oddly enough, I get bored easily with pure romance stories). Realism bores me. I think this is related to being a sx-dom.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
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Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Here's how they manifest in me. Still not sure if I'm SP or SO first, so I'd like some input.

SP
*Strong need for financial security. Tends to be very careful about spending money and makes sure I have enough saved for emergencies.

*I also try to pay off my debts as quickly as possible because I hate feeling indebted to others. Maybe it goes along with the independence of SP variant.

*Cautious when it comes to taking risks, particularly physical ones.

*Cares alot about my health and makes sure to eat healthy, exercise regularly, etc.

*However, there are occasions where I do eat unhealthy food because I love good tasting food, but I always eat it in moderation and make sure to eat something healthier alongside it.

*Highly sensitive to physical sensations in my body like pain, temperature etc. I need to feel physically comfortable to work most effectively. If I'm too hot/cold, if I'm really hungry or thirsty, have to go to the bathroom, or just very tired, it will totally effect my concentration.

*Obsessed about my own mortality. I hate the thought of dying, of growing older and losing some of the health and energy that I take for granted. Most of all I hate the thought that my decline in health could cost me the independence and self-sufficiency I value so much.

*Value my independence and self-sufficiency above almost everything else. Usually do things myself rather than in groups (SO) or one-on-one (SX).

*Like the feeling of 'home'. I strongly relate to my home being a sanctuary for me.


SO:

*Knows alot of people and is friendly to almost everyone. Yet I'm not close to anyone except family and a select few friends.

*Often compare myself to others in my group or my peers. Hate to be thought of as being less useful or less talented or less interesting than the others

*Needs to have a useful role in the groups I'm in.

*I like being in social groups as long as they share a similar outlook and interests as I do. If not, I no longer want to be in that group.

*Cares alot, sometimes too much about what others think of me. Sometimes even the random stranger across the street. Wants everyone to like me, even though I know that's unrealistic, I still strive for it. Sometimes I have this irrational fear of public humiliation.

*Like to feel like I fit in somewhere but I'm just not going to blindly conform either. If a group doesn't suit me, I will try to gracefully exit. However, it's difficult for me to express unpopular opinions in groups where everyone thinks the opposite. This ties into the above point.


SX (weakest instinct):

*I'm easily overwhelmed by emotional intensity and more inclined to seek out calming or relaxing experiences than emotionally intense ones.

*Not particularly loved or hated by anyone. I'm loved by my family but that's about it. Most people have either a mild liking or neutral attitude towards me. I'm kinda just there.

*Aversion to taking emotional risks or physical risks that are strictly for the "high", especially if there's going to be consequences. I'm hypersensitive to rejection and wouldn't get involved in a relationship unless I was reasonably sure that I could see it work well over a long term.

*Would much rather be alone than in a relationship that's less than ideal. Well I'm sure there's SX firsts that would say that too, but I think its the degree to which I believe this that makes me think SX last. I'm reluctant to make certain sacrifices to make a relationship work, especially if its going to cut alot into my valuable "me" time.

*I'm in my 30's and still never been married. I'm not even in an intimate relationship right now. I have been in intimate relationships before but it's just not as high a prioritiy for me as it is for most people. I'm happy being on my own and self-sufficient. Sometimes I do wonder what I'm missing and if I'd be happier in the long run with a significant other but I'm not one of those to just blindly rush into a relationship. I'm very cautious about who I'd have a relationship with. I'm happy being single. I could be happy never marrying or having children but I do worry about pratical self-preservation concerns in the distant future like having someone to take care of me when I'm old and frail and I don't really want to die alone.

*Tend to dress in a plain, no-attention grabbing manner. I want to look presentable and not have people laugh behind my back and I want to dress comfortably. I haven't paid much attention to the 'sex appeal' part of it. I do like it though when people think I look attractive, but not in a slutty way, more of a natural beauty sort of way.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Thank you everyone for the contributions! I've tried to condense and combine them, and have edited them into the OP. My goal is to have a fairly balanced list of common manifestations, and maybe even extend it into some stacking guidelines (eg, Sx/Sp will have more of an "edge" than Sx/So.)

sx [strong] [...]

- Complete avoidance and disregard of any social setting / group where there isn't a chance to have a high intensity experience
- People either love me or hate me. And yes, people who have loved me at one point have grown to hate me just as I have.

Interesting how I can see between you and me the differences the second variant makes. You clearly have more of an "edge", more polarization. These bullet points I've quoted above are ones that I really don't relate with, I suspect due to sx/so (not that all people will share all aspects just because they're the same variants, but these two seemed to follow the pattern).

Enneagram and MBTI was easy to figure out. Instinctual variants on the other hand, I don't get. Problem is both my social and sexual variant are problems to me. I can't tell if one is a problem because it is dominant or if i I naturally am bad with it because it is a "blindspot."

Questions:
Is it simply awareness? For example, I am preoccupied with finding and attracting a, err...partner. But I am not a promiscuous person and when I do identify someone I like, I don't seek after them. Actually, I do the opposite and try to distract myself, talking to others, trying to get the person out of my mind. Is this a SX dom thing or SX last thing?

It is the "sphere" in which you operate most... Are you actively putting a lot of mind-energy into it? I didn't have close, long-term relationships until I was late in my teens, and didn't have a serious relationship until my 20s, but I have little doubt that I was an Sx-dom all along, because I have always placed huge prioritization on figuring out 1-to-1 relationship quality - how each person feels about the other in close exchange - I've always been hyperaware of my interactions with my close friends, have always tended to have just 1 or 2 really close friends (and then an "outer" sphere of 8-10 others), and since around puberty I have always had these huge long intense crushes. And then clearly I was Sx/So, because I don't have an ounce of Sp in me.

Part of what I'm hoping in compiling these "manifestations" is that it can help people in question identify their variants - so maybe the more extended lists can help you see what you align with most.

Yeah, I didn't mean to imply that it was only a romantic thing (I know it's not). It's just I've had so much problems in this department, especially when I was younger. I was very volatile. I wanted to connect with people, but was unable to for various reasons. I used to think I was SO second or first, but after reading a lot on this topic, I've realized that it's actually a blindspot of mines. I feel like I can come off too strong, and then I'll withdraw, back off, and act all aloof when I sense that I'm coming on too strong.

I've also related to some stuff regarding SX last. There is a thread that describes public display of affection and it seems that SX last variants to do not like that. I don't like PDA either. The reason I don't like it is because it brings about a sense of inadequacy and feelings of being unloved. It reminds me that I'm unable to form connections as easily.

Aw :( :hug:

You sound like Sp/Sx, maybe?

Here's how they manifest in me. Still not sure if I'm SP or SO first, so I'd like some input.

SP
*Strong need for financial security. Tends to be very careful about spending money and makes sure I have enough saved for emergencies.

*I also try to pay off my debts as quickly as possible because I hate feeling indebted to others. Maybe it goes along with the independence of SP variant.

*Cautious when it comes to taking risks, particularly physical ones.

*Cares alot about my health and makes sure to eat healthy, exercise regularly, etc.

*However, there are occasions where I do eat unhealthy food because I love good tasting food, but I always eat it in moderation and make sure to eat something healthier alongside it.

*Highly sensitive to physical sensations in my body like pain, temperature etc. I need to feel physically comfortable to work most effectively. If I'm too hot/cold, if I'm really hungry or thirsty, have to go to the bathroom, or just very tired, it will totally effect my concentration.

*Obsessed about my own mortality. I hate the thought of dying, of growing older and losing some of the health and energy that I take for granted. Most of all I hate the thought that my decline in health could cost me the independence and self-sufficiency I value so much.

*Value my independence and self-sufficiency above almost everything else. Usually do things myself rather than in groups (SO) or one-on-one (SX).

*Like the feeling of 'home'. I strongly relate to my home being a sanctuary for me.


SO:

*Knows alot of people and is friendly to almost everyone. Yet I'm not close to anyone except family and a select few friends.

*Often compare myself to others in my group or my peers. Hate to be thought of as being less useful or less talented or less interesting than the others

*Needs to have a useful role in the groups I'm in.

*I like being in social groups as long as they share a similar outlook and interests as I do. If not, I no longer want to be in that group.

*Cares alot, sometimes too much about what others think of me. Sometimes even the random stranger across the street. Wants everyone to like me, even though I know that's unrealistic, I still strive for it. Sometimes I have this irrational fear of public humiliation.

*Like to feel like I fit in somewhere but I'm just not going to blindly conform either. If a group doesn't suit me, I will try to gracefully exit. However, it's difficult for me to express unpopular opinions in groups where everyone thinks the opposite. This ties into the above point.


SX (weakest instinct):

*I'm easily overwhelmed by emotional intensity and more inclined to seek out calming or relaxing experiences than emotionally intense ones.

*Not particularly loved or hated by anyone. I'm loved by my family but that's about it. Most people have either a mild liking or neutral attitude towards me. I'm kinda just there.

*Aversion to taking emotional risks or physical risks that are strictly for the "high", especially if there's going to be consequences. I'm hypersensitive to rejection and wouldn't get involved in a relationship unless I was reasonably sure that I could see it work well over a long term.

*Would much rather be alone than in a relationship that's less than ideal. Well I'm sure there's SX firsts that would say that too, but I think its the degree to which I believe this that makes me think SX last. I'm reluctant to make certain sacrifices to make a relationship work, especially if its going to cut alot into my valuable "me" time.

*I'm in my 30's and still never been married. I'm not even in an intimate relationship right now. I have been in intimate relationships before but it's just not as high a prioritiy for me as it is for most people. I'm happy being on my own and self-sufficient. Sometimes I do wonder what I'm missing and if I'd be happier in the long run with a significant other but I'm not one of those to just blindly rush into a relationship. I'm very cautious about who I'd have a relationship with. I'm happy being single. I could be happy never marrying or having children but I do worry about pratical self-preservation concerns in the distant future like having someone to take care of me when I'm old and frail and I don't really want to die alone.

*Tend to dress in a plain, no-attention grabbing manner. I want to look presentable and not have people laugh behind my back and I want to dress comfortably. I haven't paid much attention to the 'sex appeal' part of it. I do like it though when people think I look attractive, but not in a slutty way, more of a natural beauty sort of way.

Maybe it's just that you put Sp first or that you've got more in that category, but you're coming off more Sp/So.
 

Viridian

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Dec 30, 2010
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Sp, in my case, entails:

* Preoccupation with my personal environment;
* Aversion to risks;
* A more "insular" atmosphere;
* Concern with personal habits and routines;
* Awkwardness with expressing emotion (sort of holding myself back, so to speak);
* Slight obsession with list-making, taking notes and packrat behavior;
* Obliviousness to or reluctant attitude towards social interaction (to a point - I mostly just get drained easily);
* Fixation on "alone time" and time as a resource in general;
* Fear of excessive visibility and scrutiny (then again, I'm sort of a shrinking violet...);
* Minor paranoia about personal resource depletion (being homeless, poor, alone, useless, etc.).

I can only speak for myself, of course.
 

Phoenix

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Jul 31, 2011
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XNTX
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Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
There is a thread that describes public display of affection and it seems that SX last variants to do not like that. I don't like PDA either. The reason I don't like it is because it brings about a sense of inadequacy and feelings of being unloved. It reminds me that I'm unable to form connections as easily.

I don't speak for other sx-doms - and I don't really know their views on it, but I am ambivalent to PDA's [but they are natural to me so I don't even know that I'm doing them], so I don't feel like it's related to my instinctual stacking - or maybe it is?

What I do prefer is that I am "flashier" than normal when I'm around a partner. For some reason, I'm much more likely to act out like a seducer in public than in private. I remember with my ex that whenever the two of us entered [she was sx-dom as well -- ExFP Type 7w8] a party, or a mall or wherever we went --- people couldn't help but take notice. And we didn't need to resort to PDA's to have that kind of appeal. I don't know what it was about us and the way we would be interacting, but we would definitely attract a lot, and I mean a lot of attention. In fact, people would come up to us and praise us as a couple. There was just something about how we would be interacting. Flirting openly. Seducing each other. Using a lot of intense eye contact.

Like, if we would go grocery shopping, I wouldn't just move the cart around, I would pin her between myself and the cart. While we would be on a drive, she would constantly kiss my neck, run her hands all over my thighs. If we would go to a movie theatre, I would always have my hands between her legs. We were a high energy, highly sexual couple, and we didn't need to resort to typical acts like kissing/making out in public to exhume that kind of aura when we were together. We'd find typical things and sexualize them.

And this was in Pakistan ... not even in a country where such open displays are even remotely acceptable. We couldn't kiss, but could walk in a way where our bodies were in "accidental" touch.
 

Burger King

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Sep 25, 2011
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338
Thank you [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION], your posts about the subject have been very insightful. I'm pretty sure I'm sp/sx (slight possibility that I'm sp/so still), based off of the information posted in this thread. I'm definitely an sp-dom. Although the social instinct section is not as fleshed out. Me thinks social variant is greatly misunderstood around this here parts.

Also, a thanks to [MENTION=14235]Phoenix[/MENTION] too. Your personal example was pretty damn good. I realize that I'm not a good initiator, which is the impression I'm getting from an sx-dom. Rather, I'm someone who reciprocates or bounces back affection. I'm more ummm.....private. I long for connection, but lack the "aggressive" nature of an sx-dom.

Anyhow, I got nothing new to add to the instincts that hasn't already been said.
 

Venus Rose

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Jul 8, 2016
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324
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INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Ooh I want to comment

SX

Focus on: intensity, prolonging, engagement, passion, attention, sensation, merging

- Romantic, true-love, passionate emotional bonding
- Intellectual merging, sharing of thoughts, ideas, knowledge
- Extreme sport thrill-seeking
- Tendency to linger in sensation
- Engaging in the same sensation over and over
- Deep engagement with art and music
- Promiscuity
- Addiction, true "junkie" (I would actually like response from others with regards to this. I always see this as literal or physical stimulation seeking, and I am not like that. How else would "addiction" manifest in context of sx? I had a 9 friend once, probably not sx first (also likely Se suggestive), who told me that he had an "addictive personality" and that that could be troublesome for him sometimes.)
- Yearning, longing
- Fear of loss of sex appeal My sex appeal has never been about appearing physically attractive, though I of course I don't want to appear unattractive, but my conscious attention doesn't go there; I merely take basic care of myself.
All of my issues with undesirability, in the past, were tied to emotional denuding, revealing who I am, and feeling as if that 'repulsed' people.

- Enjoyment of personal physical comforting (snuggling, cuddling) Sounds more SP
- Dressing in an attention-grabbing way Sure but I am not flashy or gaudy.
- Enjoying "immersing" scenarios (rave, club, etc) Meh
- Milking every experience for what it's worth
- Disregard/avoidance of settings without opportunity for bonding perhaps "chemistry" might be more appropriate here, in place of "bonding"
- Engaging others through bonding
- Being able to create "magical" experience for others I don't know lol
- Strong reaction from others maybe, idk.
- Love for the dramatic something that brings intensity, passion and charge.

SO

Focus on: role, position, belonging, hierarchy, communication, adaptation (somewhat), contribution

- Desire and enjoy an important role in groups sounds a little too fraught with "responsibility" and I am unlikely to stay in one place for long; not just literally but even figuratively. So "roles" is not what I am after, though sxsos enjoy being able to have an impact. But once the charge wears off, they may retreat and find something else.
- Team player - "the group comes first" I am the opposite of a team player lol
- Friendly with many, but close to few I am a kind person for the most part, don't see the need to be mean, but it is not for social reasons. I just don't have the desire to needlessly be mean to someone.
- Often compare self to peers Somewhat I do this.
- Fear of public humiliation I can see this, but only in extreme circumstances, otherwise I am not too worried about this.
- Awareness of what others think of you to some extent
- Like to be able to fit in ehhh, I think the primary preoocupation with sxso is 'standing out' but at the same time they can do this without the harshness of the so last, so maybe their attention also goes a little bit to "fitting in"? Not sure
- Graceful entrance and exit haha, maybe
- Desire to know what's going on in the larger sphere meh, it depends.


SP

Focus on: independence, self-sufficiency, needs, stability, comfort, safety, trust, balance

- Sensitive to physical and emotional comfort and discomfort
- Fixation with food - quality, taste, texture, availability
- Skepticism
- Assess risk before actions, avoid risk, awareness of consequence I actually do do this slightly.
- Fewer but more stable relationships
- Trust issues
- Focus on financial stability, hate being in debt
- Routines/habits - sticking to the usual
- Concerned with health
- Hot/cold nature, withdraw when preoccupied
- Ability to balance needs, desires / Limitation of overindulgence
- Integrity and commitment
- Prioritizing time for oneself
- Attention to personal spaces, home is a sanctuary, enjoy personalizing/decorating somewhat
- Preference for closed settings kind of
 

Saturnal Snowqueen

Solastalgia 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6,124
MBTI Type
FELV
Enneagram
974
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
SP:

-I love PJ pants, a good cup of tea and gourmet food

-My life is a mystery to most-life isn't a Facebook status

-In spite of that, I like to talk about myself

-I worry a lot about having enough money and I try to save it

-I like my putting my own personal touches on things

-I worry a lot about, well, not dying

-I have trust issues, even if I know at heart the person is perfectly trustworthy

SO:

-Different cultures, world happenings, and psychology are all very interesting to me

-While I don't want to fit in in terms of being the same as everyone else, I want to belong and I feel left out easily

-I seek out groups(like forums) where I can express my interests

-I wonder a lot about what people think of me and what my place is, though they probably don't think much

-One of the things that keeps it second is that I'm a bit culturally unaware, like I don't see movies much so I'm oblivious to that sort of stuff. I meme well, though


SX last:

-The idea of sitting down and talking about feelings and being vulnerable is terrifying

-No one would call me intense-I'm pretty low key and chill

-Outside of romance, I don't care a ton about close relationships. I want friends of course, but belonging and security are more important

-I do enjoy merging though(though I am a 9), and I enjoy deep conversations about my favorite subjects
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,848
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Sp:
- I have thick walls, often thinking myself far more open than I am
- Generally un-open and formal, "stiff"
- Often acts as "the ground" in terms of temperament (not realism eheh)
- General hyperfixation on my personal resources and boundaries
- I'm a foody, and often can be heavily indulgent in such
- I'm naturally talented with money and resources management and can be quite a stingy/hoarder
- I'm fairly risk averse in the physical realm and, in good health, generally avoid what will hurt me physically; Almost always will play it safe unless I'm certain I'll benefit
- I focus a lot on independence, specifically in the realm of being capable of providing my own resources; Need to do things on my own
- Tendency to get stuck in "the comfort zone"
- Oscillation between indulgence and minimalism, warmth and icyness
- Just wants to be left alone most of the time
- Actually not too focused on health and will neglect it for pleasure (specifically in the realm of food or novelty seeking)

So
- Literally spent time researching other's interests and pop culture so that I could understand/navigate culture
- I desire acceptance
- Enjoy the concept of people, like psychology and am interested in different perspectives and cultures
- Prioritizes other's well being above my own, because it's "wrong" to prioritize myself (unless it's my personal energy resources)
- Aware of how my actions and self are perceived by others despite my difficulty reading social cues. I can be pretty insecure about this at my worst
- Again, overly formal, but palatable; I behave in a way that I know won't bring me attention nor piss others off
- Hate conforming and the concept of being part of the crowd, but can't standing being noticeable and attention grabbing either
- Aware of "social virtues" (ie. selflessness, individuality, etc) and at my worst, have overvalued them
- On the low end, I actually have little interest in networking or connecting with those with common interests; I don't seek belonging, I seek comfort (ie. My college class was pretty baffled and almost offended that I had no interest in getting to know the others in the "group," but I don't naturally reach out).
- I'm also grossly oblivious to culture, social cues, and politics, generally getting me commented as standoffish, naive, and dismissive

Sx:
- Desires to know people at a very person level (ie. I adore when people tell me about their feelings, opinions, anything personal), but disappear completely as soon as I'm supposed to share/I have shared
- Abhor PDA
- Have a disgusting lack of relational focus
- When I actually take an interest in someone, I can really fixate on them and their needs (but that's pretty rare and I don't think my natural way about going about things)
- Am pretty boring and dispassionate as a whole; Evades the passions
- Shallow and relationally flighty; I am drawn to people that interest me and sometimes neglect more loyal relationships (especially if I'm not doing well).
- Can just "drop things" at a whim
- Oscillate between hyperfixation/thrill seeking and habit/apathy
- Nauseated by the concept of merging, but occasionally do so
- Am typically considered very intense, but I think that's related to my level of focus/expression more than sx
- "Thrill seeking," except my concept of thrill is very "safe" and really more connected to entertainment than actual thrill
 

Earl Grey

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 3, 2017
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
583
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
My severe sx lastness anthem:

1) Everyone knows me
2) Nobody knows me
3) This is not a problem to me
4) I have difficulty seeing why it is a problem even after other people's explanations, regardless of how long or close the relationship is
5) Trying to 'fix' the issue is wonky and shows as obviously hollow as reading a script in an unfamiliar language- you can tell I'm doing the motions, but you can also tell I don't know the language I'm reading

 
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