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[sx] Sx means "merging"

Cimarron

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Can someone explain this in English? I have heard the phrase a lot lately. "Merging" with people makes some sense (kind of), but it's also applied to things/activities. How does that work? :thinking:
 

Lux

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For myself, it's literally this feeling of intense connection. It's unconscious and the feeling also tones down in intensity when I recognize it or give it notice. It's like the flow of the moment was interrupted. A rock thrown into a river.

It's easiest for me to describe it in reference to people and conversation I'm having with them. It also happens with art for me; music, visual art, movies etc. any art that grabs me I will want more of. With people it's almost physical (maybe it is), it's a drawing in of the other person and I find myself never wanting the conversation (if it's interesting) to end.. even after hours and hours. I feel it most when the other person is on the same wavelength and the intensity is drawing them in too, if they're taken aback by it the 'merging' feeling dies, if it was happening at all.

I'll think more on this but now I have to go to work.
 

1487610420

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For myself, it's literally this feeling of intense connection. It's unconscious and the feeling also tones down in intensity when I recognize it or give it notice. It's like the flow of the moment was interrupted. A rock thrown into a river.

It's easiest for me to describe it in reference to people and conversation I'm having with them. It also happens with art for me; music, visual art, movies etc. any art that grabs me I will want more of. With people it's almost physical (maybe it is), it's a drawing in of the other person and I find myself never wanting the conversation (if it's interesting) to end.. even after hours and hours. I feel it most when the other person is on the same wavelength and the intensity is drawing them in too, if they're taken aback by it the 'merging' feeling dies, if it was happening at all.

I'll think more on this but now I have to go to work.

For me, it's as if the flow of time stops, and I just want to consume and experience their entire being F O R E V E R. :yes:

EDIT: this is more intense and visceral in private romantic settings though, socially I can generally be quite reserved.
 

BlackCat

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I think that the whole merging thing has to do with how sx has to do with your own desires, and then commonly you will go out to get them in one way or another. This whole "merging" thing has to do with that, the getting of your desires. An sx person will get so into something that they want, that they will want to basically immerse themselves in it. This can be a person, an interest, etc.
 

UsurpersGonnaUsurp

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It gets to be extremely painful, especially when you are completely alone.
 

Lady_X

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it's as tho you're in there with them...like imagine you're just a spirit or a ghost or whatever helps your visual and you walk into them and feel how they feel and who they are from the inside.

or like what lux said with art...it's as tho you have been in that place and that's your memory...or the same with music...

it feels silly to even type that out like it's something others don't experience because it's hard for me to imagine others may not.
 

UniqueMixture

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It means having an orgasm with life lol
 

Rail Tracer

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It's like, being "in the zone."

When it comes to things/activities, once you find that something, you attack it, and you keep wanting to attack it until something tells/interrupts you to stop for a moment.
 

Giggly

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Thalassa

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It means that you're intense, and you like to experience things deeply and fully, even if it's not intimacy with another human.
 

chickpea

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it kinda feels like an addiction to me, although it can be short-lived sometimes and i can be addicted to anything. people, subjects, feelings.
 

Cimarron

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I mean, it sounds like an exaggeration of something that most people already do. So, wondering if it's just a magnified version of something non-Sxers can relate to, or if it starts to be a different feeling/experience altogether. Given these replies, I'm still not sure. :unsure:
 

chickpea

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I mean, it sounds like an exaggeration of something that most people already do. So, wondering if it's just a magnified version of something non-Sxers can relate to, or if it starts to be a different feeling/experience altogether. Given these replies, I'm still not sure. :unsure:

well, all the instinctual variants are things that people do. i'm so-last but i still have to deal with the social environment sometimes. it's just not my preference, and my main focus is what i'm talking about here.
 

Lady_X

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I mean, it sounds like an exaggeration of something that most people already do. So, wondering if it's just a magnified version of something non-Sxers can relate to, or if it starts to be a different feeling/experience altogether. Given these replies, I'm still not sure. :unsure:

It does I know but I think the difference is that we are focused on it more than others.. I think our need for that closeness drives us to seek it out more than others and we are more aware of the potential for it between ourselves and others.

That's my guess tho. I don't know what it feels like to be someone else haha
 

Cimarron

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I mean whether "merging" takes that to a new level, though.
 

Lady_X

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It is interesting seeing the difference between myself and sx last bf tho.

He says I have this swagger... And walk like I'm on the runway. It's not intentional but I think it has to do with our awareness of our desire ability as well as others.

It's just like breathing tho. It's not intentional. He's not aware of chemistry between himself and others.. He can't feel the energy like I can.

I wish I could explain it better. It's an odd thing.
 

redacted

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For me, it's basically that I'm really good at getting addicted to things. I listen to bands obsessively (and I mean hours a day) for months until I have every measure of every song memorized, then get really bored and pick a different band. I also do this with book series, tv shows, theories, websites, drugs, and most of all, people. The rest of the world just gets the volume turned down. Unsurprisingly, I tend to have extremely intense relationships as well.
 

Cloud of Thunder

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For me, it's basically that I'm really good at getting addicted to things. I listen to bands obsessively (and I mean hours a day) for months until I have every measure of every song memorized, then get really bored and pick a different band. I also do this with book series, tv shows, theories, websites, drugs, and most of all, people. The rest of the world just gets the volume turned down. Unsurprisingly, I tend to have extremely intense relationships as well.
This. In my case, it's video games, which I could play for 7-8 hours a day, if I'm not careful.

I think it also means to be prone to feelings of limerence.
 

skylights

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For myself, it's literally this feeling of intense connection. It's unconscious and the feeling also tones down in intensity when I recognize it or give it notice. It's like the flow of the moment was interrupted. A rock thrown into a river.

It's easiest for me to describe it in reference to people and conversation I'm having with them. It also happens with art for me; music, visual art, movies etc. any art that grabs me I will want more of. With people it's almost physical (maybe it is), it's a drawing in of the other person and I find myself never wanting the conversation (if it's interesting) to end.. even after hours and hours. I feel it most when the other person is on the same wavelength and the intensity is drawing them in too, if they're taken aback by it the 'merging' feeling dies, if it was happening at all.

I'll think more on this but now I have to go to work.

It gets to be extremely painful, especially when you are completely alone.

it's as tho you're in there with them...like imagine you're just a spirit or a ghost or whatever helps your visual and you walk into them and feel how they feel and who they are from the inside.

Cloud of Thunder said:
I think it also means to be prone to feelings of limerence.

Yes absolutely!!! I am so glad I am not alone in these feelings :)

I mean whether "merging" takes that to a new level, though.

I think that at least for me as an ENFP and 6w7, there is a huge idealization/unification that goes on. I am very attentive to atmosphere and energy, and I can easily pick up on the "feel" of something. I have a skill for putting together outfits based on an overall concept/feeling (eg, nighttime thunderstorm), and my mom asks how I can know this. I don't know. I just have the internal sense of all the things that a thunderstorm evokes and how it feels and what the nighttime evokes and how it feels and I see those things reflected in certain pieces of clothing and accessories and I get a sense of how they play off each other and how they create an overall mood.

It's almost less merging and more absorption, because it really has very little to do with me personally, short of my interest, and it's totally about the external concept or feeling or person or song or whatever and how I can totally delve into it and embody it. My relationship with food is sort of like this, I feel like certain foods embody certain "wholes" and eating those foods evokes that whole in me - like eating Middle Eastern food really creates in me an entire experience of the Middle East, music and colors and taste and spirituality and aesthetics and all those linked concepts - it's like I want to become the Middle East. That's how I understand "merging". It's about totally becoming whatever your focus of interest is, delving into it completely and embodying it.

I almost feel like the identification with this variant and sex drive as an instinct is off, and it's more about necessary sacrifice of the self to obtain growth. Though maybe that's what sex and childbirth is, the sacrifice of the individual to partner and children for the gain of your genetic material continuing to live on.

Perhaps the sx drive is, in a way, about eternal life through the dissolution of the self.
 
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