Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What is it really like to be Sp last?

[skylights]

There was almost a sense of entitlement regarding creature comforts, which I think sp-dom don't have (they feel a need to care for themselves).

i think this is a good point. i don't really have a sense of needing to provide creature comforts. i feel like they just kind of... happen. or they don't, and it's not really a big deal.

whereas my bf (i think he is probably sp dom?) is way more attentive to caring for himself. he takes a lot of pride in it, as well. he also takes care of me while i'm neglecting it (not because i ask or want him to... he just sort of... does it...). i feel a little uncertain when trying to take care of him because i know he is very used to taking himself and has some specific preferences, whereas i'm kind of just like, omg you cooked me dinner, you are the best thing ever, because i was going to microwave something otherwise...

 

[OrangeAppled]

i think this is a good point. i don't really have a sense of needing to provide creature comforts. i feel like they just kind of... happen. or they don't, and it's not really a big deal.

whereas my bf (i think he is probably sp dom?) is way more attentive to caring for himself. he takes a lot of pride in it, as well. he also takes care of me while i'm neglecting it (not because i ask or want him to... he just sort of... does it...). i feel a little uncertain when trying to take care of him because i know he is very used to taking himself and has some specific preferences, whereas i'm kind of just like, omg you cooked me dinner, you are the best thing ever, because i was going to microwave something otherwise...

I don't mind people doing stuff for me, I just don't want to feel dependent on them. I'm not picky at all....interestingly, my so/sx ex was picky & rude about it; he never would thank me for cooking dinner, but he certainly expected it . He liked to cook himself, but it was because he likes to impress people that way & is a picky eater; it was not a matter of being self-sufficient. "Self-sufficiency" is really a key for sp types, IMO.

I like to do things for people as well of course, but I get semi-annoyed if they are dependent on me. I think that's why I've never seen myself as a nurturing/mothering type. I don't want to be bothered to tie some kid's shoe. I'm like, "Can't you do that yourself?".

I guess as an sp, I don't want to be responsible for others nor make others responsible for me.