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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts What is it really like to be Social-last?

The Great One

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[MENTION=15773]greenfairy[/MENTION]

1. Yeah, I know what you mean. The only reason that it's very confusing to me is that you can literally pick up about 95% of people's variant stackings just through observing their facial expressions, body language, and overall energy. You can literally pick it up through vibe, but I don't really have the vibe of an sp/sx. They come off as much more dark, moody, intense, and detached. Here's a piece of starters literature on reading people's instincts through vibe:

http://theenneagram.blogspot.com/2007/09/instinctual-variant-stackings.html

However, there are some Sp/sx people that sort of have a So variant vibe to them like Hugh Heffner and George Clooney. I think that Fe can be confused for an So variant though.

2. Yes, I agree, I can't be Sx last, but I know that I'm not Sx first either. Sx first people come off as crazily intense and I don't have that fierce intensity to me. Also, I don't really relate to what most Sp/so and so/sp say. Most say that they come off as completely attached and closeness, intensity, and intimacy are quite foreign to them. I mean, don't get me wrong, many so/sp and sp/so people enjoy sex, but it doesn't have the intensity that it has for the people who aren't sx last. Plus, people that are sx last don't tend to get attached to people as easily as those that aren't sx last.
 

Faceless Beauty

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For one thing, I don't understand this need to belong to anything. My interactions are also less geared towards observing where people fit in groups and how groups interact with one another. I don't mind being part of a group or anything because to me it's just people hanging out or working together to get a job done. I will admit that I prefer interactions with one or two people more than a larger group though. One on ones are the best, and I get to talk to people without background noise.
 

The Great One

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For one thing, I don't understand this need to belong to anything. My interactions are also less geared towards observing where people fit in groups and how groups interact with one another. I don't mind being part of a group or anything because to me it's just people hanging out or working together to get a job done. I will admit that I prefer interactions with one or two people more than a larger group though. One on ones are the best, and I get to talk to people without background noise.

When in social situations, like parties for instance, I generally will find maybe just a few people to talk to, or a small group to talk to. I never feel obligated to engage people that I don't like. The only time I like a large group is when I am the center of attention of the entire group and am entertaining them all.
 

Faceless Beauty

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When in social situations, like parties for instance, I generally will find maybe just a few people to talk to, or a small group to talk to. I never feel obligated to engage people that I don't like. The only time I like a large group is when I am the center of attention of the entire group and am entertaining them all.

In large groups, I tend to gravitate towards one or two people who have interesting things to say, rather than focusing on the whole group. But if I happen to be the center of attention then I'll just go with it, haha.
 

The Great One

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In large groups, I tend to gravitate towards one or two people who have interesting things to say, rather than focusing on the whole group. But if I happen to be the center of attention then I'll just go with it, haha.

I relate. Can you believe that on this other enneagram site that I was on, they thought that I was sx last?
 

greenfairy

philosopher wood nymph
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May 25, 2012
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iNfj
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sx/sp
[MENTION=15773]greenfairy[/MENTION]

1. Yeah, I know what you mean. The only reason that it's very confusing to me is that you can literally pick up about 95% of people's variant stackings just through observing their facial expressions, body language, and overall energy. You can literally pick it up through vibe, but I don't really have the vibe of an sp/sx. They come off as much more dark, moody, intense, and detached. Here's a piece of starters literature on reading people's instincts through vibe:

http://theenneagram.blogspot.com/2007/09/instinctual-variant-stackings.html

However, there are some Sp/sx people that sort of have a So variant vibe to them like Hugh Heffner and George Clooney. I think that Fe can be confused for an So variant though.

2. Yes, I agree, I can't be Sx last, but I know that I'm not Sx first either. Sx first people come off as crazily intense and I don't have that fierce intensity to me. Also, I don't really relate to what most Sp/so and so/sp say. Most say that they come off as completely attached and closeness, intensity, and intimacy are quite foreign to them. I mean, don't get me wrong, many so/sp and sp/so people enjoy sex, but it doesn't have the intensity that it has for the people who aren't sx last. Plus, people that are sx last don't tend to get attached to people as easily as those that aren't sx last.

Oh cool, I'll look at that link and then get back on here.

It seems like life would be really bland and boring and entirely unfulfilling without intensity.
 

The Great One

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No! xD
What on earth gave them that impression?

That site was really shitty. They undertyped the hell out of SX. They thought that people that were Sx first or second were as rare as gold. Hell even Diva-ass [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] they tried to say was Sx last, when IMO the man could easily be a mistyped SX dom. I didn't give a damn what the people on that site said.
 

Faceless Beauty

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That site was really shitty. They undertyped the hell out of SX. They thought that people that were Sx first or second were as rare as gold. Hell even Diva-ass [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] they tried to say was Sx last, when IMO the man could easily be a mistyped SX dom. I didn't give a damn what the people on that site said.

Yeah I think [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] would make a great sx dom.
I think that people's prevailing misconceptions about the sx instinct leads people to think that they are rare. I'm not even sure if one instinct is more preferred over the other really, lol. Unless someone can verify this.
 

The Great One

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Yeah I think [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] would make a great sx dom.
I think that people's prevailing misconceptions about the sx instinct leads people to think that they are rare. I'm not even sure if one instinct is more preferred over the other really, lol. Unless someone can verify this.

Well you are Sp/sx. Can you tell me how you experience Sx?
 

Faceless Beauty

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Well you are Sp/sx. Can you tell me how you experience Sx?

I would say that sx most manifests in my drive to pursue my interests and goals. When I really get into something I give it my all so to speak. It also shows in my relationships with people. Sp wants comfortable friendships that are stable and that last, and sx strives for depth in those connections with people. Communicating with people one on one about something that we both have interests in or are passionate about is just really natural and easy for me, and it's extremely satisfying I guess. You get to step out of your head and experience someone else's world for a few seconds in those moments, and sometimes you might learn a great deal about things you never knew. It's all chalked down to a learning experience.
 

The Great One

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I would say that sx most manifests in my drive to pursue my interests and goals. When I really get into something I give it my all so to speak. It also shows in my relationships with people. Sp wants comfortable friendships that are stable and that last, and sx strives for depth in those connections with people. Communicating with people one on one about something that we both have interests in or are passionate about is just really natural and easy for me, and it's extremely satisfying I guess. You get to step out of your head and experience someone else's world for a few seconds in those moments, and sometimes you might learn a great deal about things you never knew. It's all chalked down to a learning experience.

It's been very hard to assign myself with variants because intimacy, love, and relationships are something that I want to pursue but yet that I am afraid to pursue do to fear of being hurt.
 

KatharineML

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Yes GreenFairy I think you are right that sx is like Fi and so like Fe. I always come up so.
And yes, I do make an effort to 'work the room', or at least, I am willing to introduce myself to people and take a genuine interest in them. It's less out of personal need for connection though, and more to do with an interest in and value for people in general. If my interest field was computers, I might not be so sociable, maybe? ... it also might mean I know how to use this site and do all the mention thingys that everyone else does etc!!!
 

The Great One

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Yes GreenFairy I think you are right that sx is like Fi and so like Fe. I always come up so.
And yes, I do make an effort to 'work the room', or at least, I am willing to introduce myself to people and take a genuine interest in them. It's less out of personal need for connection though, and more to do with an interest in and value for people in general. If my interest field was computers, I might not be so sociable, maybe? ... it also might mean I know how to use this site and do all the mention thingys that everyone else does etc!!!

I love to reach out to the social sphere to meet people that I like as well. However, not gonna work the room per se.
 

KatharineML

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I love to reach out to the social sphere to meet people that I like as well. However, not gonna work the room per se.

Yes, well I think ENTP's are far more driven by instinct/intuition (so, whoever you like) than by a considered decision, so that would make sense :)
 

Elfboy

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[MENTION=16406]Faceless Beauty[/MENTION] [MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
nooo, I'm Sp dom cuz they're the best! :D
 

Elfboy

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[MENTION=16406]Faceless Beauty[/MENTION]
[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
nooo, I'm Sp dom cuz they're the best! :D
 

Elfboy

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Yes, well I think ENTP's are far more driven by instinct/intuition (so, whoever you like) than by a considered decision, so that would make sense :)

intuition: yes
instinct: the opposite. NTPs are among the types most notoriously out of touch with their gut. they over analyze everything compulsively and
[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
I'm too controlled and not impulsive to be an Sx dom 7
 

The Great One

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intuition: yes
instinct: the opposite. NTPs are among the types most notoriously out of touch with their gut. they over analyze everything compulsively and
[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
I'm too controlled and not impulsive to be an Sx dom 7

You've done some pretty damn impulsive things lately if you know what I mean ;). Also, the very basis of your life tends to be more based on obtaining intimacy, connection, and cultivating a relationship, and doesn't tend to be AS focused on self pres things.
 
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