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[sx] Sx Obsessions

G

Ginkgo

Guest
The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
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1,858
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INFP
Enneagram
54
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so/sp
#1: attach and remove any mention of sx in their sig, contingent on how recently they've had sex with victor.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
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Feb 20, 2009
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sx/so
The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?

Wow. This is really intuitive. I wonder if you are on to something here. I am extremely driven to become intimate with activities and ideas and objects that capture my attention and keep it. I wouldn't say I become expert because being expert means paying too much attention to detail and I haven't time for that. But I call myself a 'purist' when I am interested in something, or even someone. I like to trace back to its origins to become acquainted with it, work or study it to roll it around in my mind--applying my own twist or style to it, if necessary, and if it sticks I will pretty much do it forever. Some things don't stick. But if something does stick, it really sticks. Did I say 'stick' enough? :alttongue: freudian slip?

some things i'm very intimate with, as in need:

-my kids
-knitting
-making my own body care products
-keeping chickens
-fav coffee cup or two

and a few other things.


Is this attributable to sx dom ya think?
 

niffer

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Apr 26, 2007
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Wanting to develop a strong "interpersonal" one on one relationship with things they are attracted to in some way. It's like trying to achieve metaphorical orgasm all the time in life.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
Throughout my life, I've found ideas and things that I tended to practically plan my day around. Fixations etc.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
Wow. This is really intuitive. I wonder if you are on to something here. I am extremely driven to become intimate with activities and ideas and objects that capture my attention and keep it. I wouldn't say I become expert because being expert means paying too much attention to detail and I haven't time for that. But I call myself a 'purist' when I am interested in something, or even someone. I like to trace back to its origins to become acquainted with it, work or study it to roll it around in my mind--applying my own twist or style to it, if necessary, and if it sticks I will pretty much do it forever. Some things don't stick. But if something does stick, it really sticks. Did I say 'stick' enough? :alttongue: freudian slip?

some things i'm very intimate with, as in need:

-my kids
-knitting
-making my own body care products
-keeping chickens
-fav coffee cup or two

and a few other things.


Is this attributable to sx dom ya think?

Yes but it probably doesn't always hold true.

Do you think you go through phases of one focus after the next?
 

ICUP

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Joined
Apr 26, 2011
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1,787
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sx/sp
The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?

Yes, definitely. I've identified that I have a relationship with glam metal. I have a relationship with alcohol. I have a relationship with this forum lol; not necessarily anyone in it, but I feel when I'm talking that "the forum" is listening lol.... and I could go on. I think I create relationships with everything I touch. Not necessarily obsessions or hobbies with it.... but meaningful relationships.
 

niffer

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1,217
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Do you think you go through phases of one focus after the next?

Totally, and I relate to what you said about "planning your day around" things. Shit got freaky when I had an eating disorder.

I think I create relationships with everything I touch. Not necessarily obsessions or hobbies with it.... but meaningful relationships.

Yup.

That's what my Fi does I think. It's like I personify everything, and I really "see" it in my environment. Like everything I deal with, every object I touch I kind of... make my mark on it and/or have it make its mark on me, even non-physically.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
I think I create relationships with everything I touch. Not necessarily obsessions or hobbies with it.... but meaningful relationships.

Yeah, totally. As a kid I'd feel bad about even tossing out a drawing of something cute (I'd cry over it, actually), like I was abandoning it, letting it down. I cried about a stuffed animal of mine my mom gave away for a good five years.


I relate to everything everyone is saying in this thread. Very well. At the moment I am trying to let go of my enneagram obsession/relationship but it's not easy. We've had a thing going for a couple of years now.

I'd say I can get obsessive, for sure. I have been about people (one person, especially), food, enneagram, this forum, exercise, rock climbing (but that was partially because the person I was obsessed with was into it and he lived far away so that way I could feel close to him), musicians, actors, my front yard, etc. Most of my obsessions aren't long term, and they are often over people and things that are not obtainable (but I am also a four).

I've never had problems with alcohol and drugs and I can't imagine becoming addicted to them, but I've definitely felt addicted to a person and to other things.
 

gromit

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Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?

Yes I agree. I think there's this intense immediate feeling any time you're really into something you're doing. Like climbing for me. A rush of adrenaline, a sense of being a part something, moving over or around, reacting to obstacles but everything seeming almost natural, like this is what I was born to do. I had sort of always associated it with sx for some reason. That intensity I guess.

I believe [MENTION=4515]wolfy[/MENTION] had talked about the idea of 'flow' before. Seems kind of similar to me.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?

I like this broader definition a lot better. I think it's incredibly feasible. I am driven to create strong one-on-one bonds with other people, and the same kind of force applies when I am interested in some kind of subject.
 

skylights

i love
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YAY i was thinking about making a thread like this a couple days ago. you beat me to it!

i absolutely think so, and i get frustrated with all the sexy-confusion with the sx drive, because (though i actually do have a pretty strong sex drive) i have not really ever considered much of my identity to revolve around sex.

AphroditeGoneAwry said:
But I call myself a 'purist' when I am interested in something, or even someone. I like to trace back to its origins to become acquainted with it, work or study it to roll it around in my mind--applying my own twist or style to it, if necessary, and if it sticks I will pretty much do it forever.

:hifive:

i tend to get in long, very close relationships with a single friend; i have a very hard time dealing with more than one person on the same "level" at once (when i am connecting with a group it feels more like i am connecting with many individuals, rather than the group as a whole); i have a rocky love-hate relationship with food; this forum, etc...

Yes I agree. I think there's this intense immediate feeling any time you're really into something you're doing. Like climbing for me. A rush of adrenaline, a sense of being a part something, moving over or around, reacting to obstacles but everything seeming almost natural, like this is what I was born to do. I had sort of always associated it with sx for some reason. That intensity I guess.

I believe [MENTION=4515]wolfy[/MENTION] had talked about the idea of 'flow' before. Seems kind of similar to me.

YES.

i wrote some on the concept of flow and writing for an assignment once... it's what niffer said. metaphorical orgasm.

someone on the forum has also mentioned sx and "feeling" chemistry between people. like you just know how you connect; there's a tangible, readable atmosphere between the two of you and you can both sense it. one day an sx dom male friend of mine called out across a room to me something like, "there's crazy tension between us". it was true. there was huge sexual tension between us. but it was so funny, neither of us had even spoken to each other or interacted that day, there was no way either of us should have known that...
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
These thoughts cross my mind with this hypothesis:
  1. People are concepts to me so it's not much of a logical stretch that other concepts would also be of intense interest.
  2. Sx is intimacy. You can only become intimate with intangible or inanimate objects if it's one-sided. So the question is, is this true intimacy or just a delusion?
  3. Why this drive for intimacy? If you consider intellectual hoarding whereby to understand is a form of control, is sx a form of emotional control?
 

VagrantFarce

Active member
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
1,558
Hey, sx types:

romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole, making a dent in the universe, allure - are these the sort of things that occupy you in your life? If not, how would you describe it?

An even better question: How would you differentiate this fixation from the other two instincts?
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Hey, sx types:

1-romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole - are these the sort of things that occupy you? If not, how would you describe it?

An even better question: How would you differentiate this fixation from the other two instincts?

1- That concept sort of occupies me. I am not currently in a relationship and at this time, I have no desire for one. In thinking about this topic I have a very push-pull way of describing it. I have one drive to bond very strongly with someone, but I have an almost equally strong drive to contain myself independently and with a separation from others. It is both one of my greatest inner desires and greatest fears all wrapped into one.

2- I am strong SP second and that manifests itself in me as a desire to be separate from others, to take care of myself on my own tyvm, and to provide for myself without depending on external help. SO sort of elludes me... I understand the need for SO but I have difficulty applying that ability to myself a lot of the time. I have to sort stifle my inner peanut gallery at times.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Hey, sx types:

romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole, making a dent in the universe, allure - are these the sort of things that occupy you in your life? If not, how would you describe it?

Finding the thing that I will be completely passionate about- something to channel my energy into and something which gives me energy- the one true perfect thing, having people in my life I feel strong connections to (and connecting with them), those are the things which occupy my time.

I like the plug looking for a socket analogy for the way I live my life. It's all about energy, finding energy sources, things and people that make me feel alive. And when I get disconnected from the socket, I lose my energy. I feel very dependent on it.
 

Bamboozle

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
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Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Finding the thing that I will be completely passionate about- something to channel my energy into and something which gives me energy- the one true perfect thing, having people in my life I feel strong connections to (and connecting with them), those are the things which occupy my time.

I like the plug looking for a socket analogy for the way I live my life. It's all about energy, finding energy sources, things and people that make me feel alive. And when I get disconnected from the socket, I lose my energy. I feel very dependent on it.

I agree. It's disastrous when I tie myself/commit myself to something (e.g. a project) and then it stops giving me energy. I keep trying anyway but mainly it just gets tiring.

ETA: This is spot on, btw:

gromit said:
I think there's this intense immediate feeling any time you're really into something you're doing. Like climbing for me. A rush of adrenaline, a sense of being a part something, moving over or around, reacting to obstacles but everything seeming almost natural, like this is what I was born to do. I had sort of always associated it with sx for some reason. That intensity I guess.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
Hey, sx types:

romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole, making a dent in the universe, allure - are these the sort of things that occupy you in your life? If not, how would you describe it?

An even better question: How would you differentiate this fixation from the other two instincts?

Yes they occupy me.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?

perhaps...i do feel pretty intimately involved with my interests....like...i don't just like modernism or minimalism ...it's a part of my soul...the feeling of it is somehow in a way representative of my thought processes and emotional needs...i identify with stripping away all of the clutter and fluff...the filler...for purity...truth...quality...value...necessities...or whatever...yes...in a way all of the things i love are intimately connected to the way identify myself.

now that i've typed that out tho i can't imagine that not being true for everybody.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Finding the thing that I will be completely passionate about- something to channel my energy into and something which gives me energy- the one true perfect thing, having people in my life I feel strong connections to (and connecting with them), those are the things which occupy my time.

I like the plug looking for a socket analogy for the way I live my life. It's all about energy, finding energy sources, things and people that make me feel alive. And when I get disconnected from the socket, I lose my energy. I feel very dependent on it.

i have said that very thing. i thought i made it up hahaha but i thought it was an extravert thing...interesting.
 
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