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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Your social relationships & instinctual stacking

What's your instinctual stacking & social interaction tendency?

  • so/sp - I have a clique

    Votes: 2 1.9%
  • so/sp - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    Votes: 8 7.4%
  • so/sp - I am mostly a loner

    Votes: 4 3.7%
  • so/sx - I have a clique

    Votes: 4 3.7%
  • so/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    Votes: 2 1.9%
  • so/sx - I am mostly a loner

    Votes: 5 4.6%
  • sp/so - I have a clique

    Votes: 2 1.9%
  • sp/so - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    Votes: 3 2.8%
  • sp/sp - I am mostly a loner

    Votes: 9 8.3%
  • sp/sx - I have a clique

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • sp/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    Votes: 15 13.9%
  • sp/sx - I am mostly a loner

    Votes: 10 9.3%
  • sx/so - I have a clique

    Votes: 4 3.7%
  • sx/so - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    Votes: 8 7.4%
  • sx/so - I am mostly a loner

    Votes: 7 6.5%
  • sx/sp - I have a clique

    Votes: 4 3.7%
  • sx/sp - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    Votes: 10 9.3%
  • sx/sp - I am mostly a loner

    Votes: 11 10.2%

  • Total voters
    108

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Choose your instinctual stacking type & social interaction tendency.
Do you think there is a connection?
If you feel between these categories or long to be in another, do you think it's due to any "push/pull" between your two main instincts?

*** option "sp/sp - I am mostly a loner" is supposed to be sp/so - oops!

Social interaction tendencies defined for the poll - choose the best fit:

I have a clique - Choose this if you have a group you regularly socialize with where most everyone is friends with everyone, and it's mostly the same crowd every time (family counts if it's group socializing). You identify these people as your group of friends, and other people identify you with them as a group. Choose this even if you have individual friendships too & sometimes do stuff on your own.

I have a few, individual, very close friendships - Choose this if you don't really socialize in any kind of clique, but regularly maintain a few, very close friendships with individuals, frequently hanging out or talking, often one-on-one (family members count). These friends don't necessarily know each other or have friendships with each other (but they may). Other people don't identify you as a group, but may associate you with one of these individuals (ie. the best friend joined at the hip). Choose this even if on occasion you socialize with a group & do stuff on your own.

I am mostly a loner - Choose this if you have very few close friends and mostly do stuff alone. You don't feel a tie to or a part of any social circle. Your few close friends are people you know are there for you & you for them, but you don't necessarily stay in regular contact. Other people don't identify you with anyone; they might even wonder who you do socialize with as you always appear alone. Choose this even if you associate with a group of casual acquaintances on occasion, have 1-2 close friends you talk to sometimes and/or a few, individual casual friends you socialize sometimes.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have a few, individual, very close friendships - Choose this if you don't really socialize in any kind of clique, but regularly maintain a few, very close friendships with individuals, frequently hanging out or talking, often one-on-one (family members count). These friends don't necessarily know each other or have friendships with each other (but they may). Other people don't identify you as a group, but may associate you with one of these individuals (ie. the best friend joined at the hip). Choose this even if on occasion you socialize with a group & do stuff on your own.

This option, and I think I'm sp/sx. It seems like sp/sx is a bit of a conflicted stacking (but perhaps sx/sp is more so?) but it combines elements of being a loner and having a clique...at least that's how I see it.

It's interesting how differently people have perceived me. I met up a couple of years ago with a girl I used to live with and one of the first things she said was "so are you still a loner, or do you socialize more these days?". :huh: (she's not the most tactful, but anyway.) I was a bit more of a loner when she knew me but I also socialized quite a lot... Then there are the people who think I'm a total socialite, which is weird to me. Neither of those are true on their own but I have elemtns of both.
 

VagrantFarce

Active member
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
1,558
I'd like to point out that self-preservation types aren't automatically loners - they can be as gregarious as anyone else.

Similarly, you can be a loner and still have a dominant social instinct.

It's better to consider where your attention is typically drawn to, on an immediate moment-to-moment level - thats a better indicator of your dominant instinct, in my opinion.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'd like to point out that self-preservation types aren't automatically loners - they can be as gregarious as anyone else.

Similarly, you can be a loner and still have a dominant social instinct.

This is why I made the poll. I want to see how many so-dom are loners and so on. I also want to see how people feel their instinctual stackings relate to this. For instance, if you're an so loner, is it because you define yourself as an outsider? That sort of thing.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Im not sure clique is really accurate. Im peripherally a member of a couple different "cliques" but more by virtue of my close friendships with one or two people or volunteer work. I get along well with the group though. Im so/sx.
 

VagrantFarce

Active member
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
1,558
This is why I made the poll. I want to see how many so-dom are loners and so on. I also want to see how people feel their instinctual stackings relate to this. For instance, if you're an so loner, is it because you define yourself as an outsider? That sort of thing.

Just so I don't seem like I'm poo-pooing everything, I'm definitely very cliquey. :) It's all about the group, babe.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i answered as an sx/sp but i'm a bit unsure of it. when i was younger and more social i had several big groups of friends. i guess that might fall under your clique category...but now especially since moving away from all of my friends i just have a few close ones....i prefer knowing a big group and being close with a few.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
i prefer knowing a big group and being close with a few.

I really feel quite similarly. While I have only a few friends who I'd call very close, I like knowing I have a bit of a network, including friends who aren't as close, and "good acquaintances."
 
B

brainheart

Guest
I chose the individual, close friends category even though I have serious loner tendencies, mainly because I have my long distance friend that I email with every day (and we completely geek out about how we're soul mates, and I gush about him to others I'm close to), and I have my husband, and I have my kids. I suppose my family could count as a clique, but we really don't do group stuff all that much. I have one close friend who lives in the same town as me, but we're busy so... I had a crew in high school and I'm still friends with most of them, but it's more a ' see you when I see you' sort of thing now, and it's typically one on one. Most of my interactions, even with family, is one on one. When I make a new friend I deem worthy of special friend status(which is rare) I get pretty goofy about it, like I'm falling in love.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sp/Sx and somewhere between a few close friends and loner
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I voted for "mostly a loner." I have a couple of closer friends but mostly I do things myself, so I voted for that option. I have alot of acquaintances from different walks of life but I have never associated with any one clique.

I'm not sure of my stacking. I'm tentatively guessing sp/so/sx at this moment.
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm Sx/Sp and wrote "I have a clique" but I don't have a clique, it just fit more than the "few relationships" answer. The answer is that I have many individual friends, small groups, and relationships, but they don't all fit together in one group. "I have many friends" would be the better choice for me.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I am SX/SP with strong leanings towards both of them. I have more people who consider themselves my friend, than I consider people actually being my friend. I am a strong loner type as well.

I am trying to work on being more social. I think I allow myself the comfort of being alone far more than I should.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
sp/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

Just thinking about this the other day actually, how I'm kinda starting to see the benefit of belonging to a "group."
 

Tiger Owl

Active member
Joined
Sep 10, 2011
Messages
1,194
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
584
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I rate mostly even (omni) but when I do show preference it is sx/so or so/sx and mostly a loner.
 
Last edited:

redcheerio

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
912
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
E9
Im not sure clique is really accurate. Im peripherally a member of a couple different "cliques" but more by virtue of my close friendships with one or two people or volunteer work. I get along well with the group though. Im so/sx.

i answered as an sx/sp but i'm a bit unsure of it. when i was younger and more social i had several big groups of friends. i guess that might fall under your clique category...but now especially since moving away from all of my friends i just have a few close ones....i prefer knowing a big group and being close with a few.

I really feel quite similarly. While I have only a few friends who I'd call very close, I like knowing I have a bit of a network, including friends who aren't as close, and "good acquaintances."

I'm Sx/Sp and wrote "I have a clique" but I don't have a clique, it just fit more than the "few relationships" answer. The answer is that I have many individual friends, small groups, and relationships, but they don't all fit together in one group. "I have many friends" would be the better choice for me.

I'm sx/so, and the above bolded quotes describe me best.

In uni, I was peripherally involved in many cliques, but usually close to one or two people at the center of each, and friendly acquaintance with the rest. Now that I've moved away, I follow the same pattern, but don't have as many cliques to float between.

Also, I tend to always have a best friend, or a closest friend in each setting. Now I understand that to be the sx.

I guess I'll vote for "few close friends"?
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Now I'm wondering if I really am sx/so like I originally thought and not so/sx. I'm not as Fi tunnel-vision/intense or oblivious/ambivalent to groups as an sx ENFP 'should' be though.

I've never found a group of people who I feel totally at ease with. If I did, I would love to have a 'clique'. I hate that word by the way... I just find it a little disingenuous and unnecessary to try to force friendship or a deeper connection with people just because you're all part of the same group. I think in one case, this is actually why the individuals respond well to me.

I think people often think of me as being social and in particular, more socially well connected than I really am. Or maybe I really am socially well-connected in the way that they imagine, I just don't personally feel I am good friends with tons of people.

I have a handful of very close friends who may or many not be friends with each other but are NOT part of "the same group", another larger handful (yes with 7 fingers, leave me alone!!!!) of friends who I would like to be closer to but geography doesn't work out, and then a constellation of people I am friendly with. I think an SX doesn't really consider the group or group dynamics much or really VALUE 'group'. However, even though I'm very bad at keeping at touch and am always a bit self-conscious inside clique dynamics because I know I am not as entrenched in it, I do value it.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
I suspect there aren't enough so doms on here to get a significant answer. I voted a few individual close friendships, but have many wider circles of acquaintances not connected to each other. So, I feel like I know many groups of people, am connected, but am close with only a few folks IRL.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm sx/so, and the above bolded quotes describe me best.

In uni, I was peripherally involved in many cliques, but usually close to one or two people at the center of each, and friendly acquaintance with the rest. Now that I've moved away, I follow the same pattern, but don't have as many cliques to float between.

Also, I tend to always have a best friend, or a closest friend in each setting. Now I understand that to be the sx.

I guess I'll vote for "few close friends"?

right me too...like it always just worked out that i would click really well with someone and then become friends with all of their friends too but i was always the closest with the one or two people....i like groups around me tho...we used to go to sunday brunch all the time...like 15-20 of us sometimes...i loved that...or for someones birthday we'd all go out to a nice dinner...or just random get togethers at peoples houses...i enjoy the energy of a group...the way people vibe off of each other and the way i seem to absorb the energy generated by everyone...but i'm cool just having a few people there that i feel really connected to.

i don't know if thats more sx/so or sx/sp or what.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
I suspect there aren't enough so doms on here to get a significant answer. I voted a few individual close friendships, but have many wider circles of acquaintances not connected to each other. So, I feel like I know many groups of people, am connected, but am close with only a few folks IRL.

Are you So dom as well?

That describes it well. And in much fewer words than I used. >_<
 
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