Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Sp/sx versus sx/sp?

[Chiharu]

What are some observable differences, either superficial or more in depth?

Also, feel free to point me to a valuable existing thread (if there are any) or another resource. Thanks!

 

[INTPness]

I'm guessing it's just a matter of which one you place more emphasis on. I think I'm fairly close between sp and sx, with a slight lean towards sx.

sx:
-I enjoy close connections with individuals
-I enjoy intensity in interactions and experiences
-I place emphasis on doing things that I'm passionate about
-Depth over breadth in relationships
-Always looking to plug-in to something - a cause, a passion, a calling, etc.

sp:
-Protective of my time and space
-Place emphasis on having security (bills paid, roof over my head, job, income, food, etc.)
-Privacy is important
-Material possessions (this doesn't apply to me 100%)

Whichever one you place more emphasis on or focus on more, is probably first in your stacking.

 

[ICUP]

I'm still learning.... but sx doms seems to be intense and passionate, moreso. I will not stay in a place where I don't feel passionate about what I am doing, or being. They are described as "seekers", and I agree with this. I tend to move often, from place to place. I suppose this is because I am searching for the missing piece that I have not found, yet.

I'm totally interested in relationships, in making mine closer and more meaningful. I've noticed vast differences between me and other sp-dom istp's. One being that they are more calm in demeanor, and when they are girls, they aren't as girlie as I am. I wondered why I didn't really fit the stereotype in many ways. I tend to put emphasis on my looks and dress, moreso than most istp's.

I can get carried away in a topic, and become very passionate about it. It seems that sp-doms keep their cool.....
I've found that sx-doms tend to gravitate toward one another, and hold similar opinions on many sexual-related topics. It's almost like a little clan. I think it's very hard for me to call anyone a "slut" or a "whore", or think anything bad about someone for having sex of any sort (no sexual hangups). I'm really wondering right now if this is common for sx'es. It doesn't necessarily mean I act on my impulses, because of the sp.... I'm internally conflicted. But I certainly don't judge other people for being overly-sexual.

I think they are right-on when they say that we are internally conflicted.... that we have strong sexual impulses, but the sp causes us to want to hold back on them. This can bring forth a lot of worry, stress, broodiness, anxious energy, etc. I think it has led to depression in me before, if I wasn't attending to my passions and needs in that manner. I think sx is difficult to deal with and manage.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I definitely relate to the inner conflict with these two instincts. I test very high on both SX and SP; usually within a few points of each other. It makes me wish I was predominantly one over the other so that I would feel more... consistent. I go from seeking out companionship to wanting to be alone on a boat in the middle of the pacific. Maybe I can find someone who won't mind bringing his own boat for when I want to push him overboard.

I can do an ad like this:

INFP seeks soulmate for life travel adventure. BYOB!

I find I tend to try and suppress my SP instincts to some extent. I think some of the worst things I have done to people in my life have almost all had to do with the SP side.

I am severely lacking in the social arena. I have always fought against what I am supposed to be doing, social etiquette, etc.

Just a few disjointed thoughts as I attempt to slog my way through ISTJ Land (accounting).

 

[Hazashin]

I'm guessing it's just a matter of which one you place more emphasis on. I think I'm fairly close between sp and sx, with a slight lean towards sx.

sx:
-I enjoy close connections with individuals
-I enjoy intensity in interactions and experiences
-I place emphasis on doing things that I'm passionate about
-Depth over breadth in relationships
-Always looking to plug-in to something - a cause, a passion, a calling, etc.

sp:
-Protective of my time and space
-Place emphasis on having security (bills paid, roof over my head, job, income, food, etc.)
-Privacy is important
-Material possessions (this doesn't apply to me 100%)

Whichever one you place more emphasis on or focus on more, is probably first in your stacking.

According to this, I am definitely an Sx-dom, but I am very reserved because I'm shy. I guess that makes me Sx/Sp.

I think it's very hard for me to call anyone a "slut" or a "whore", or think anything bad about someone for having sex of any sort (no sexual hangups). I'm really wondering right now if this is common for sx'es. It doesn't necessarily mean I act on my impulses, because of the sp.... I'm internally conflicted. But I certainly don't judge other people for being overly-sexual.

OMG, sooo much this for me! Maybe I really am an Sx-dom... but like I said, I am shy and reserved and not constantly on the "prowl" for intimacy and connection, like Speed said. Huh...

I think they are right-on when they say that we are internally conflicted.... that we have strong sexual impulses, but the sp causes us to want to hold back on them. This brings forth a lot of worry, stress, broodiness, etc. I think it has led to depression in me before, if I wasn't attending to my passions and needs in that manner. I think sx is difficult to deal with and manage.

That might be it then.

 

[JAVO]

I think the difference is just that sx/sp people will tend to have that nagging sp pulling them away from their adventure, intensity and connections, while sp/sx people will tend to experience the conflict as the desire for connection and adventure pulling them out of their fortress. I'm another whose sx and sp are both high and fairly equal. I think the conflict of having them fairly equal hinders personal growth. I tend to slip into an "analysis paralysis" because of the high level of conflict between the two.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

What are some observable differences, either superficial or more in depth?

Also, feel free to point me to a valuable existing thread (if there are any) or another resource. Thanks!

sp/sx: Comes out as somewhat heavy and gloomy, or cool and detached. Often gives out a suffocating and insular vibe, as if their internal world is wrapped around by an impermeable membrane. Strong sensory impressions designed to awake sexuality. Makes one want to linger on one or two lines forever.

sx/sp: Intense, often a stab-in-the-chest sensation, leaving me in tears without knowing why. Fantastical but much more concentrated in a few inner images. Can be abstract, animating dead objects into their field of contemplation. Embodiment of another human, thing, or idea is common in their writings.

[youtube=BWOKtktYfP0]Thom Yorke 5w4 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=Wqzn9F0GI1o]Kurt Cobain 5w4 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

TY is very protective and projected inward and it's there that he takes his intensity, Kurt Cobain in comparaison has a strong presence, intense and more fantastic and marveled, exploring his vison outward, less the guy who linger on the inward. Both are driven to seek confort, but Sp/Sx is "I want to make me confortable", while Sx/Sp is "I make you and me confortable". Sx/Sp are a bit experience junky and have a sexy and flirtatious presentation, experiencer, shocking and iconoclast too, Sp/Sx are steady and somewhat austere, then a bit of intense, but less.

Other examples.

[youtube=EqMoUYddoF4]Bruce Willis 7w8 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=6tsGHkHYiKA]Jim Morrison 7w8 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

Bruce Willis: cool and detached with a sexy side but not really intense and flitatous, more practical, reserved , epicurian but reasonable, with strong awareness of his material interest. Somewhat sociable and greagrious, unconplicated with his desires, but not exibitionish.

Jim Morrison: directly immersed in emotion and fantasy, intense and marveled, flirtatious, with clear exibitionish tendencies.

Also, see how they move their body, and their stance, Jim Morrison is very immersed in the interview, Bruce Willis is more remote.

[youtube=prZGEJ0rrhI]Corey Haim 6w7 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=PhK-gu_v4E8]Emma Stone 6w7 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

Corey Haim: definetly have a strong Sx side since he was a sex-symbol in the 80s and do have some Sx presence, but is above all steady and reserved, not really enthusiastic about anything, some sort of apathy actually. Completely detached from the interviewer.

Emma Stone: completely different. Very intense, very immersed, very enthusiastic and passionate, immersed in the interview and friendly with the movie guy, like if they knew each others for years, stong reactions to compliment unlike Corey H. Sx is not a question since she is sexy as hell. The Sp-second is expressed in her leaning to not challenge the boundaries of what is reasonable and to get stregth from a steady stance and position. But with a true Sp/Sx like Corey Haim, you can see the big differences.

[youtube=-qSwvmzOG_0]Karl Lagerfeld 4w3 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=2etGt8FwoYE]Prince 4w3 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

Karl Lagerfeld: gloomy and reserved, not interested with the interviewer but has a drive for fantasy.

Prince: strongly sensual and oriented to intimacy, seek confort a lot but definetly iconoclast with exbitionish tendencies and a drive for intensity.

[youtube=zzUrUNhIj4c]Ralph Nader 1w2 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=p124AsAJz8k]Diana Rigg 1w2 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

Ralph Nader: austere and focused inward, with a connection with the person he's talking about, but not extreme or vreally intense.

Diana Rigg: Strong sexual presence, fantastic, sensual, intense, but not too crazy and with somewhat a sense of boundaries.

[youtube=YFchDm3u5B4]George Harrison 1w9 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=EWOPY9_QTTU]Meryl Streep 1w9 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

George Harrison: has a sexy and cheerful side but come first as steady, austere and reserved.
Meryl Streep: intensely involved. Sensual and fantastic, but a bit protective.

[youtube=fREjpeShur0]Kristen Stewart 6w5 Sp/Sx[/youtube]
[youtube=ANJGTyZ6v_A]Mary Weiss 6w5 Sx/Sp[/youtube]

Kristen Stewart: sexy but very harsh and reserved. A bit cheerful but above all steady and aware of her personal interest, strong sense of boundaries.
Mary Weiss: very intense, strong immersion in emotions and fantasy. Somewhat calm and reserved too but still have intense connection with what she does.

Often, Sx people are characteries by intense, wide opened, bright eyes.

Does it help?

 

[Anew Leaf]

I think the difference is just that sx/sp people will tend to have that nagging sp pulling them away from their adventure, intensity and connections, while sp/sx people will tend to experience the conflict as the desire for connection and adventure pulling them out of their fortress. I'm another whose sx and sp are both high and fairly equal. I think the conflict of having them fairly equal hinders personal growth. I tend to slip into an "analysis paralysis" because of the high level of conflict between the two.

Analysis Paralysis.... such a great term! I am good at that as well.

Looking at your description, I can agree with the idea of SP nagging at me. It's very frustrating in relationships especially.

I don't know if this is an SX/SP dream home, or if it's just mine because I am weird like this, but I read this article awhile back about Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter's home and thought: . How delightful would this place be? Primarily talking about their home:

The mutual attraction that blossomed on the set of Planet Of The Apes - despite her prosthetic mouth, lowered brow, ape's hair and false teeth - led to them setting up home, in a most unusual fashion, in Hampstead.
The house used to be two separate dwellings. Now, one belongs to Tim and one to Helena.
Each has its own very distinct decor: hers is girly, vintage and chintzy, while his is a gothic melange of 'skeletons and weird things' and floor lights in neon shades. Each partner has their own television, their own Sky Plus and their own kitchen - although Tim's is barely used.
At night they sleep in their respective dwellings. Not only is Tim an insomniac who likes to pace and watch TV, he says that she talks too much and that he needs some peace and quiet away from her. And anyway, counters Helena, he snores.
And yet there is the occasional blurring of boundaries since Helena has a craft room in Tim's half of the house where she likes to print hearts onto fabric and stitch ribbons onto mob caps.

She has, as followers of her distinctly 'shabby-chic' style will testify, a weakness for fripperies such as broderie anglaise and bobbles.
The two studio houses are joined by a ground level communal room, which is essentially a very grand hallway. Recently, a third home was purchased in the street which is home to the nanny and the couple's two children, Billy Ray, six, and Nell, two.
So how on earth does it work?

'He always visits, which is really touching. He's always coming over,' says Helena of Tim, in a way that suggests she considers this a perfectly normal version of cohabitation.


It's a rather rum state of affairs, but Helena enthuses: 'It really is a great idea. You never have to compromise emotionally or feel invaded.'

Of course my SX side is like "sleep separately SADFACE!" and my SP side is like "I can haz ALL ze bed!"

Want to buy: Social expansion pack for broadening horizons of mind. Please send PM if you have one for sale.

 

[INTPness]

According to this, I am definitely an Sx-dom, but I am very reserved because I'm shy. I guess that makes me Sx/Sp.

Maybe I really am an Sx-dom... but like I said, I am shy and reserved and not constantly on the "prowl" for intimacy and connection, like Speed said. Huh...

I'm reserved as well, but still definitely sx. Sx doesn't mean you can't be reserved. Social butterflies tend to like breadth in their friendships. A lot of introverts (reserved) tend to like depth and intensity (sx). I'm not on the "prowl" for it either, but it's enjoyable and rewarding when you find it. It's rare.

 

[Hazashin]

I'm reserved as well, but still definitely sx. Sx doesn't mean you can't be reserved. Social butterflies tend to like breadth in their friendships. A lot of introverts (reserved) tend to like depth and intensity (sx). I'm not on the "prowl" for it either, but it's enjoyable and rewarding when you find it. It's rare.

Well, the only reason why I was question my Sx-first-ness was because Speed brought this up:

"Whenever I'm around someone I really like, I get VERY paranoid about how attractive I look to them. If I'm going to meet with them somewhere, I go the extra mile to look good. But in general, everyday life, it's not that important to me."

Another proof that you are not Sx! When you are Sx, you are in a constant alert mode like there was an opportunity for sex and intimacy at each second. Listen, as an Sx-first, I never go out in a appearance that could make me look ugly and not attractive, and when i do, i consider it at a risk. Of course, as many Sx, I often indulge in neglect, the most extreme cases of horrible neglect come from Sx/So, but I take on me that I'm taking a risk for this time, and then, I look at me in a mirror and I think something like "eh, actually that make look like an adventurer, pretty interesting, hello honey, wanna fuck?".

If you don't care about intimacy as a general rule but are obsessed with someone from time to time, it's a typical clue nat you're not Sx, Sx-last are even more like this. And Sx is not about "find love", damn! Are we suposed to be emo shit or something ?!!

(Note: The quoted material is what I said.)

 

[INTPness]

Like anything else in life, if you analyze it too much it starts to get way too complicated. Keep it simple and straightforward. If you identify with the sx desire for intense, deep connections and having purpose and meaning in life, you're probably sx. You'll get confused if you start going, "Well, I only like intense connections on Wednesdays and Fridays and only if I've dressed really nice and feel that I look good for the object of my affection. Oh and I always feel more intense when it's raining outside."

 

[Hazashin]

Like anything else in life, if you analyze it too much it starts to get way too complicated. Keep it simple and straightforward. If you identify with the sx desire for intense, deep connections and having purpose and meaning in life, you're probably sx. You'll get confused if you start going, "Well, I only like intense connections on Wednesdays and Fridays and only if I've dressed really nice and feel that I look good for the object of my affection. Oh and I always feel more intense when it's raining outside."

The only reason I doubted it is because I would think Speed would know better than me.

 

[INTPness]

The only reason I doubted it is because I would think Speed would know better than me.

Yeah, I hear you. I'm just sayin', keep it simple. If you look too far into it and start thinking about every little tiny behavior you have, you could easily find yourself in all three variants: sx, sp, so. Like Vagrant Farce keeps saying, just look at which ones you focus more on. I relate to all 3 of them to *some degree*, but on a scale of 1 to 10, it'd probably be something like this:

sx - 8
sp - 7
so - 3

It's all relative. It's never black and white.

 

[JAVO]

I don't know if this is an SX/SP dream home, or if it's just mine because I am weird like this, but I read this article awhile back about Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter's home and thought: . How delightful would this place be? Primarily talking about their home:

Of course my SX side is like "sleep separately SADFACE!" and my SP side is like "I can haz ALL ze bed!"

I want that house too! It's funny that they put the kids in a third house with the nanny! I guess that's somewhat of an unconventional manifestation of both sx and sp.

Want to buy: Social expansion pack for broadening horizons of mind. Please send PM if you have one for sale.

I'll keep that in mind. Plus, sx is in favor of this. "I don't have to read your mind, just your flash drive."

 

[Anew Leaf]

I want that house too! It's funny that they put the kids in a third house with the nanny! I guess that's somewhat of an unconventional manifestation of both sx and sp.


I'll keep that in mind. Plus, sx is in favor of this. "I don't have to read your mind, just your flash drive."

lolol. Oh you rascally ENTPs with your rascally Ti ways that I don't understand but pretend to understand just to save my Ne face!

I just think it would be lovely to decorate my own space as I want to without having to hear the frowny face voice of "But dear... flowers are kind of...... girlie....." or the horror I witnessed between my ENTP/INTJ friends where the husband wanted to put up his dogs playing poker painting (on velvet!!!) in their living room. Just say no to velvet dogs.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

Like anything else in life, if you analyze it too much it starts to get way too complicated. Keep it simple and straightforward. If you identify with the sx desire for intense, deep connections and having purpose and meaning in life, you're probably sx. You'll get confused if you start going, "Well, I only like intense connections on Wednesdays and Fridays and only if I've dressed really nice and feel that I look good for the object of my affection. Oh and I always feel more intense when it's raining outside."

An instinct is not only an desire, it is expressed in action. And to desire a connection is not Sx if you are not sexual in your presence, and your daily action of your daily life. To have an account on Meetic to fin an authentic and stable realtionship to make you feel secure and less alone is not an expression of being Sx-dom.

 

[ICUP]

I was talking to my S.O. last night, just fooling around, and I said:

If you meet someone you connect with and are attracted to, and you want to move in the first week, you are sx. If you want to move in in two years, you are sx-secondary, and if you never want to move in, you are sx third.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

I was talking to my S.O. last night, just fooling around, and I said:

If you meet someone you connect with and are attracted to, and you want to move in the first week, you are sx. If you want to move in in two years, you are sx-secondary, and if you never want to move in, you are sx third.

What fo you mean by "move in"?

 

[INTPness]

An instinct is not only an desire, it is expressed in action. And to desire a connection is not Sx if you are not sexual in your presence, and your daily action of your daily life. To have an account on Meetic to fin an authentic and stable realtionship to make you feel secure and less alone is not an expression of being Sx-dom.

And who has an account on Meetic?

 

[ICUP]

What fo you mean by "move in"?

move in = cohabitation.