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[so] Understanding the Social Instinct

Thunderbringer

New member
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
274
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Oh, I don't mean that so types don't ever seek popularity or to climb the social ladder etc. I only mean to say that it is not characteristic of all so types. An interest in or awareness of social hierarchy certainly is a so quality, but so-firsts do not necessarily desire to partake in that world. I think the stereotypes tend to overstate how actively involved in social politics a so-first must be.

I see what you mean. As a 6, my need to be around those at the top of the ladder is mainly because I fear being ridiculed by others, so I seek being around those that are admired/powerful to avoid that.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I could easily see a so-dom Fe user finding ass-kissers toxic, backstabbing weasels.

this example however is one I could not see any time soon
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
my bf is so first and a type 4...he's very conflicted about it. i tell him not to judge himself by others standards that he himself truly does not aspire to...ya know? it seems so simple for me.
but yeah...he's not "social" he's just very concerned with what everyone is doing and where he fits in or how he measures up.

but then again...he's a 4 and doesn't want to be like everyone else.

it makes me feel like i'm so last because i don't feel like i do that at all.
 

Hopelandic

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
232
MBTI Type
me
You can like/dislike, move against/move towards and have varying levels of social instinct, me thinks. A variant will manifest differently in each individual. You might be a social type who has an ideological opposition to "networking". As a sp/sx, I don't have an ideological opposition, I find it draining and annoying that someone might expect me to do that. Instead of "I hate this" I think, "why is this necessary?". You might get introverted so types who are very watchful of macro dynamics and might not enjoy too much social interaction, but be great at people watching, and are proficient in history, politics, philosophy, science etc. Or they might see their role in their family or with their friends as the most important deployment of their energy- rather than involvement in something even larger.

I should add that when I said "networks" earlier, I do not mean social networks. But biological, mathematical etc. It seems to me like some of the best representations of data, stats etc have been done by social types. I remember seeing this amazing graph showing/connecting the geographical locations of twitter/facebook etc users across the world. I would never have thought of that. It seems to me like systems biology would be right up the alley of SO types who are interested in biology. C'mon, how many of you get turned on by the food chain? be honest :p

Just like sx can want to suck all the juices out of a relationship, an idea, a story/film/music, and within each person that varies to differing degrees, it's a given that you aren't going to wholly relate to the specifics of a description. Because it's going to manifest uniquely in you. "So" can manifest in all kinds of ways in an individual. It seems like the common ground is to desire to be a part of something bigger than yourself.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Ha, icelandic, I actually find the food web, ecosystems (how everything is interconnected) fascinating. I think you might be on to something....

Yeah, lady x, I know what you mean about the four in your life. We're annoying. I've been all mopey about not having a group where I live, a crew to hang out with that pushes me creatively, intellectually (I've tried and failed but I'll try again). My husband gets so frustrated, he doesn't understand why it's so difficult, he's got his big ol social network la la, what's my deal.

In fourth grade I was crying to this sort of friend (sometimes she hated me, sometimes she liked me) about how I didn't know how to make friends. I'll never forget her level of confusion about this. "what do you mean? You just... Make friends."

To be fair, sometimes I think it's extra difficult because I think I'm too picky, I expect my friends to be an ideal reflection of my potential or something, something to aspire to, someone who will help me be great. God I'm annoying.
 
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