I find it an interesting dichotomy to be an INFP and so-dom. Glad to see the thread created; considered making it myself.
I'll go through the thoughts so far:
You want everyone to like you- even those you barely know and will likely never see again.
I like for people to think well of me at least - I know not everyone can like me ...
The worst fear you have is being ostracized by society.
Hmm, not sure if it's the worst fear, but to be excluded can be hurtful.
You can't bear the thought of being useless to society.
Agreed, I like to make a difference.
You are aware of the interpersonal politics going on even if you don't take part.
Yes.
You were disappointed to find that there aren't too many threads dedicated to SO first.
No.
When you are at a party you are instantly aware of the most powerful person in the room.
Yes. At a party I can assemble a very complex inner map of all the dynamics at play in the room. What each person thinks of themselves and of others, and determine the cliques / sub-cliques / degrees of ostracism. I find each group of people has a very different feel depending on the people (ingredients) mixed together.
You are well of your social status in any group you partake in (including this forum).
Sure, but I would caution that it's easier to sell oneself short, to think one is of a lower status than in reality.
You would rather have a large circle of acquaintances to draw upon than a few close-knit friends.
No. That's probably an introvert thing though. I have a love - hate thing going on with groups.
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... you secretly assess social dynamics at work or parties to work out how popular everyone was in high school
Sure, it's interesting that people bring the past to the present and sometimes undermine themselves or overestimate themselves accordingly.
... you feel obliged to be congenial and friendly, and will keep up the front even if you despise doing so and wish you were a million miles away
Depends on who and why, but yes, I agree with this.
... you are keenly aware of any personal deficiencies in social interaction and are highly self-critical of such lacking
When I was in my teens and twenties even, this was a nightmare. There were rules I understood and rules I didn't, and groups that were impossible to gain traction in. And I kind of beat myself up over it when things weren't smooth, rather than see that people simply aren't always nice.
... you feel so overwhelmingly embarrassed by every faux pas that it resembles physical pain, and frequently re-live, and suffer over, past embarrassments
Maybe that's Fi - Si so-dom there ...
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.. you despise it when people argue or make a scene in public and will go to great lengths to quell it
I do dislike people who "make a scene" or who are being difficult .... I do always try to smooth social interactions. It's like a dance ...
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When when you are alone and withour group, you feel like if you were only the tenth of what you are or could be.
No.
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... you're always thinking about what other people will think, and that's as important to you as what you think of them.
Yes. But not as much as when I was younger.
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I'll try to think up a few extra ones myself.
EDIT: I identify with this blurb on being an so-dom 9, describe my love - hate thing going on:
Social Nines tend to gravitate toward groups and then have conflicts about joining or staying apart. Can enjoy group energy and interests but may be also aware of the group's expectations. These the Nine will both play along with and resist. When immersed in a group, social Nines can lose themselves, trying to become all things to all people. Gregarious but may start to resist being too heavily influenced, to compensate for their sense of lost identity. Can sometimes resent how the group doesn't really see them. May fixate on what others think of them. Or resent the group and make fun of it. Some social Nines stay basically uninvolved but hang out at the group's edge. Frequently there's lots of activity. May get caught up in roles - a stronger connection to 3 goes with this subtype.
For more:
http://webspace.webring.com/people/cl/lifexplore/chvar.htm
