[sp] You know you're self preservation when

[brainheart]

you know you're sp/sx when
- during your teen years, you were astonished at the utterly moronic things people would do at the expense of personal safety, comfort and health. examples include drugs, joining gangs and doing things that were illegal without any sort of plan or escape strategy

teen years, yes. College, I was all about those things (not joining gangs, ha ha). Completely on the edge.

- peer pressure does not effect you at all

I could give a crap about peer pressure. Those I love, them disapproving is another thing...

- people make fun of you for being high maintenance and taking good care of yourself
I am so low maintenance it's absurd. I sort of take good care of myself.

- you can't stand being around people who don't take care of themselves
If you mean don't take care of their soul, live their authentic life, then yes. 'Taking care of yourself' in purely physical ways strikes me as very boring.

- you find people poor hospitality distasteful and downright unacceptable
I am completely oblivious to hospitality.

- you are offended by people who don't give you any friggin personally space
Not offended. Irritated.

- when people say things like "a simple life is a full life" or "money isn't important" you think to yourself 'nigga you crazy'
I think... soulmate... love you... I would never use the stupid n word.

- it is important that your work time and your leisure time seperate.
Work and leisure should be the same. I don't want to do something unless I love it.

- when someone tells you to do something productive when you're relaxing you say "I am doing something productive."
I don't say it but I think that you are a major uptight freak who should get out of my life.

- you are amazed at how people can work themselves to the point of compromising their health and not notice
Yes, but I am often envious of those people for living a life of passion.

- you enjoy shopping, either by yourself or with 1-3 friends who are good company
Shopping is my least favorite thing in the world unless it's thrifting and I'm in the mood.

- you are polite, but you only stay stick around if the company is good and unintrusive. if they're not, you simply leave (unless you have some other obligation)
Yeah, I'd agree. If the company is good, though, I'll be one of the last to leave.

- you don't like going to sports games because you're constantly thinking "what the fuck is everyone doing?"
You mean like the crowd? I'm not a sports event person, but I do like watching baseball. I can get pretty into it, especially if it's nice out and it's a little league game or something. Not a team player, though.

Not clear on my variants, but one thing I do know, Elfboy: whatever you are, I ain't. I don't relate to your energy at all. Not to be mean or anything, it's just like we're from different planets.

 

[Randomnity]

...when you read this thread and disagree with 90% of it, but don't want to waste the energy arguing in circles about it.

 

[brainheart]

...when you read this thread and disagree with 90% of it, but don't want to waste the energy arguing in circles about it.

Har. That's the most convincing argument I've read yet for me being an sp.

When I read this stuff I want to find clarity, I don't want to get in petty arguments. Seems so silly.



You know you're sp first when maintaining individual concerns is the number one driving force in your life.

 

[OrangeAppled]

It's hard to untangle where my Fi thinking & my sp instinct begins, or maybe they color each other. Like Fi, the sp instinct seems "selfish" or "self-absorbed" to those who don't grasp or prefer it themselves. However, just as Fi reasons on universal truths about humans & extrapolates general human needs from recognizing their own, the sp instinct to look out for your own needs extends into looking out for others' needs. Just because the focus is on the individual's needs does not exclude others; it includes all "individuals". SP types are said to know how to make other people comfortable really well, both emotionally & physically - this is because they instinctively focus on "comfort" & know what it means & what it takes to get there. Because they know what it takes to "preserve" themselves, they know what it takes to preserve others, so there's definitely a "protective" attitude towards other people. All sp types have so or sx next in their stacking, so it's easy to see how that instinct then is applied via social groups or close relationships.

Oh yeah, and I totally got that the OP was somewhat satirical....


- during your teen years, you were astonished at the utterly moronic things people would do at the expense of personal safety, comfort and health. examples include drugs, joining gangs and doing things that were illegal without any sort of plan or escape strategy
Yes.... but if you have sx next in your stacking, then these things can be acceptable if the consequences to your well-being are not too high. Intense experience is more often pursued in a hedonistic way for the sp/sx though. Yummy food, creating a beautiful environment, etc. They want to be soothed more than excited, whereas sx/sp types would rather be agitated than not excited by some intensity.

- peer pressure does not affect you at all
I've always had a ridiculously high tolerance to peer pressure, sometimes being simply unaware of it more than disregarding it. This sounds good, but not all peer pressure is bad. Sometimes group pressure moves someone to do something they really need to do. SP types can be too oblivious or too stubbornly independent for their own good at times. It isolates them & frustrates group harmony. Most of the time though, it's prey liberating & awesome .

- people make fun of you for being high maintenance and taking good care of yourself
I don't get made fun of for taking care of myself. Most people think it's great that I carry granola bars around with me (I fear getting hungry & not having food), that I'll pipe up & ask for the driver to turn the a/c on for those of us in the backseat of the car, etc. Other people get the fringe benefits of my need to be comfy.

- you can't stand being around people who don't take care of themselves
I don't have this feeling. The worse reaction I have to this is it makes me feel high-maintenance when generally I am not considered such. I'm not a "rough it" person, so those types may see me as too fussy in physically uncomfortable situations.

Being an sp also means focusing on emotional comfort, so I might seem too sensitive to types who are comparatively harsh, and they seem too, well, harsh, and emotionally obtuse. Some of that is likely Fi though also. I'm just quick to tell when I or someone else is not emotionally comfortable, and I seek to remedy that. People who get in the way of that or dismiss it can rub me the wrong way.

- you find people poor hospitality distasteful and downright unacceptable
I don't judge someone negatively for it, as I seek to give the benefit of the doubt, but making sure guests have food, drink, etc, is very important. SP types want to make sure other people are comfortable, because that's what they themselves like.

- you are offended by people who don't give you any friggin personally space
Not offended, as it's not a moral issue, but annoyed, yes. I need my space. I need to be independent. I HATE having my personal things snooped through also. Privacy is HUGE with me.

- when people say things like "a simple life is a full life" or "money isn't important" you think to yourself 'nigga you crazy'
No, because I feel this way to a point. For me, self-preservation is not having a lot of stuff. I know it can be that way for some sp types, but with certain enneagram types, the sp instinct can take an opposite effect: material things are only important for basic needs, which is what is focused on, and excess is undesirable as it requires maintenance that can actually interfere with these needs.

- it is important that your work time and your leisure time separate.
Well, let me put it this way: I don't like work to seep into my personal time, but I'm okay with a casual, relaxed work environment where some goofing off is allowed; in fact, I prefer that.

- when someone tells you to do something productive when you're relaxing you say "I am doing something productive."
Relaxing is definitely seen as valuable & important in & of itself, yes.

- you are amazed at how people can work themselves to the point of compromising their health and not notice
I have done this...but it doesn't last too long, as I do become aware of it at a point & it throws me into a reevaluation of priorities, and then I make necessary changes. It amazes me when people compromise their health for work & don't care though, or seem to think that is acceptable.

- you enjoy shopping, either by yourself or with 1-3 friends who are good company
I do like to shop, but I don't need to buy a lot. I think many sp types like to construct a fantasy of their ultimate comfortable sanctuary, so browsing is fun, even with no intent to buy.

- you are polite, but you only stay stick around if the company is good and unintrusive. if they're not, you simply leave (unless you have some other obligation)
Oh yeah, hahaha. Emotional comfort is important, and socializing is never a focus in & of itself. I admit I often see socializing as a means to an end, so if there is no end I desire, then I want to leave.

When I walk into a social gathering, I tend to scope out these things first:
1. Where's the food & drinks?
2. Where's the most comfortable, ideal spot to sit/stand, where cold air won't blow on me or I won't get too hot, where too many people can't stare at me, etc?
3. Who can I talk to that will make me feel safe & comfortable & allow me to enjoy myself?
Yes, this results in me being a wallflower hanging out at the food table a lot, or clinging to the few people I know. No doubt introversion accounts for some of this as well.... If none of those above questions can be met adequately, then I begin to plan an escape route. Once I'm mentally drained (which happens fast as an introvert), I can begin to feel almost desperate to leave.

- you don't like going to sports games because you're constantly thinking "what the fuck is everyone doing?"
Well, yes, but I don't know if that is related to being an sp. When I've gone to a game (er, was dragged to some local, night games), guess what my focus was? Food & making sure I was warm. As long as the night air was not too cold & I had some food to munch on, then I was okay. The game was dull though. I don't get why people want to run around after some ball either. I've realized I only physically exert myself in pursuit of needs though, so exercise for me tends to be "relaxing" (ie. yoga, bike riding), and competitive sports seem "stressful" to me, so maybe it is partially an sp thing.

 

[Elfboy]

It's hard to untangle where my Fi thinking & my sp instinct begins, or maybe they color each other. Like Fi, the sp instinct seems "selfish" or "self-absorbed" to those who don't grasp or prefer it themselves. However, just as Fi reasons on universal truths about humans & extrapolates general human needs from recognizing their own, the sp instinct to look out for your own needs extends into looking out for others' needs. Just because the focus is on the individual's needs does not exclude others; it includes all "individuals". SP types are said to know how to make other people comfortable really well, both emotionally & physically - this is because they instinctively focused on "comfort" & know what it means & what it takes to get there. Because they know what it takes to "preserve" themselves, they know what it takes to preserve others, so there's definitelt a "protective" attitude towards other people. All sp types have so or sx next in their stacking, so it's easy to see how that instinct then is applied via social groups way or close relationships.

Oh yeah, and I totally got that the OP was somewhat satirical....


- during your teen years, you were astonished at the utterly moronic things people would do at the expense of personal safety, comfort and health. examples include drugs, joining gangs and doing things that were illegal without any sort of plan or escape strategy
Yes.... but if you have sx next in your stacking, then these things can be acceptable if the consequences to your well-being are not too high. Intense experience is more often pursued in a hedonistic way for the sp/sx though. Yummy food, creating a beautiful environment, etc. They want to be soothed more than excited, whereas sx/sp types would rather be agitated than not excited by some intensity.

- peer pressure does not affect you at all
I've always had a ridiculously high tolerance to peer pressure, sometimes being simply unaware of it more than disregarding it. This sounds good, but not all peer pressure is bad. Sometimes group pressure moves someone to do something they really need to do. SP types can be too oblivious or too stubbornly independent for their own good at times. It isolates them & frustrates group harmony. Most of the time though, it's prey liberating & awesome .

- people make fun of you for being high maintenance and taking good care of yourself
I don't get made fun of for taking care of myself. Most people think it's great that I carry granola bars around with me (I fear getting hungry & not having food), that I'll pipe up & ask for the driver to turn the a/c on for those of us in the backseat of the car, etc. Other people get the fringe benefits of my need to be comfy.

- you can't stand being around people who don't take care of themselves
I don't have this feeling. The worse reaction I have to this is it makes me feel high-maintenance when generally I am not considered such. I'm not a "rough it" person, so those types may see me as too fussy in physically uncomfortable situations.

Being an sp also means focusing on emotional comfort, so I might seem too sensitive to types who are comparatively harsh, and they seem too, well, harsh, and emotionally obtuse. Some of that is likely Fi though also. I'm just quick to tell when I or someone else is not emotionally comfortable, and I seek to remedy that. People who get in the way of that or dismiss it can rub me the wrong way.

- you find people poor hospitality distasteful and downright unacceptable
I don't judge someone negatively for it, as I seek to give the benefit of the doubt, but making sure guests have food, drink, etc, is very important. SP types want to make sure other people are comfortable, because that's what they themselves like.

- you are offended by people who don't give you any friggin personally space
Not offended, as it's not a moral issue, but annoyed, yes. I need my space. I need to be independent. I HATE having my personal things snooped through also. Privacy is HUGE with me.

- when people say things like "a simple life is a full life" or "money isn't important" you think to yourself 'nigga you crazy'
No, because I feel this way to a point. For me, self-preservation is not having a lot of stuff. I know it can be that way for some sp types, but with certain enneagram types, the sp instinct can take an opposite effect: material things are only important for basic needs, which is what is focused on, and excess is undesirable as it requires maintenance that can actually interfere with these needs.

- it is important that your work time and your leisure time separate.
Well, let me put it this way: I don't like work to seep into my personal time, but I'm okay with a casual, relaxed work environment where some goofing off is allowed; in fact, I prefer that.

- when someone tells you to do something productive when you're relaxing you say "I am doing something productive."
Relaxing is definitely seen as valuable & important in & of itself, yes.

- you are amazed at how people can work themselves to the point of compromising their health and not notice
I have done this...but it doesn't last too long, as I do become aware of it at a point & it throws me into a reevaluation of priorities, and then I make necessary changes. It amazes me when people compromise their health for work & don't care though, or seem to think that is acceptable.

- you enjoy shopping, either by yourself or with 1-3 friends who are good company
I do like to shop, but I don't need to buy a lot. I think many sp types like to construct a fantasy of their ultimate comfortable sanctuary, so browsing is fun, even with no intent to buy.

- you are polite, but you only stay stick around if the company is good and unintrusive. if they're not, you simply leave (unless you have some other obligation)
Oh yeah, hahaha. Emotional comfort is important, and socializing is never a focus in & of itself. I admit I often see socializing as a means to an end, so if there is no end I desire, then I want to leave.

When I walk into a social gathering, I tend to scope out these things first:
1. Where's the food & drinks?
2. Where's the most comfortable, ideal spot to sit/stand, where cold air won't blow on me or I won't get too hot, where too many people can't stare at me, etc?
3. Who can I talk to that will make me feel safe & comfortable & allow me to enjoy myself?
Yes, this results in me being a wallflower hanging out at the food table a lot, or clinging to the few people I know. No doubt introversion accounts for some of this as well.... If none of those above questions can be met adequately, then I begin to plan an escape route. Once I'm mentally drained (which happens fast as an introvert), I can begin to feel almost desperate to leave.

- you don't like going to sports games because you're constantly thinking "what the fuck is everyone doing?"
Well, yes, but I don't know if that is related to being an sp. When I've gone to a game (er, was dragged to some local, night games), guess what my focus was? Food & making sure I was warm. As long as the night air was not too cold & I had some food to munch on, then I was okay. The game was dull though. I don't get why people want to run around after some ball either. I've realized I only physically exert myself in pursuit of needs though, so exercise for me tends to be "relaxing" (ie. yoga, bike riding), and competitive sports seem "stressful" to me, so maybe it is partially an sp thing.

I'm with you on the material things. quality is way more important than quantity. having a bunch of shit around is just a hassle

 

[OrangeAppled]

I'm with you on the material things. quality is way more important than quantity. having a bunch of shit around is just a hassle

This is typical of N types who are sp, IMO. Too many material things make you feel bogged down. We need to feel "free" to pursue possibilities.
My ISFP step-dad is an e9w1 sp-dom and he's a total packrat though. Parting with things gives him anxiety. He "needs" all that junk.
So I think it can go either way. I definitely have a preoccupation with comfort though, and since I don't like a lot of "stuff", I want my "necessities" to be enjoyable & soothing, so quality is emphasized. My enneagram 4 aspect of using possessions to communicate/establish my individual identity is another story though....everything needs to be unique also. A few unique, quality things always trump quantity.

 

[Uytuun]

In fives it often comes down to being stingy with yourself. Which is true for me.

 

[Hopelandic]

Some things in this thread make me, 0_0

I'm sp/sx

You may be a sp/sx if...

You find it tiresome to keep in contact with people (except those who you have proper chemistry with and thus it does not require effort with them)

You know what kinds of environments and people mesh with you.

You know what you like and dislike fairly quickly.

You consider yourself fairly private, hard to get to know, emotionally available for only those you've chosen.

You are much more open online than you would be with acquaintances in real time.

You don't have a large network, and you are fine with that.

You get a buzz out of eye contact and body language; all the subtleties of courtship, and attraction.

You may get on well with someone, but unless there's that 'spark', or proper chemistry, you feel there is something missing, you wont truly open yourself.

You consider yourself very independent and prefer to mostly do things for yourself, by yourself.

You're a contained person, but sometimes you let loose.

Health (mental, physical, spiritual whatever) has been your biggest concern, but also your biggest weakness.

You find yourself sharing books, articles and advice on mental health, fitness, cooking etc.

You have at some point, spent nights on the internet or elsewhere, searching for... something... an unnamed something... something that will give you a kind of buzz.

 

[Randomnity]

Some things in this thread make me, 0_0

I'm sp/sx

You may be a sp/sx if...

You find it tiresome to keep in contact with people (except those who you have proper chemistry with and thus it does not require effort with them)

You know what kinds of environments and people mesh with you.

You know what you like and dislike fairly quickly.

You consider yourself fairly private, hard to get to know, emotionally available for only those you've chosen.

You are much more open online than you would be with acquaintances in real time.

You don't have a large network, and you are fine with that.

You get a buzz out of eye contact and body language; all the subtleties of courtship, and attraction.

You may get on well with someone, but unless there's that 'spark', or proper chemistry, you feel there is something missing, you wont truly open yourself.

You consider yourself very independent and prefer to mostly do things for yourself, by yourself.

You're a contained person, but sometimes you let loose.

Health (mental, physical, spiritual whatever) has been your biggest concern, but also your biggest weakness.

You find yourself sharing books, articles and advice on mental health, fitness, cooking etc.

You have at some point, spent nights on the internet or elsewhere, searching for... something... an unnamed something... something that will give you a kind of buzz.

I think this is the first post in the thread where I relate to every point.

 

[OrangeAppled]

You know what kinds of environments and people mesh with you.

You consider yourself very independent and prefer to mostly do things for yourself, by yourself.

You have at some point, spent nights on the internet or elsewhere, searching for... something... an unnamed something... something that will give you a kind of buzz.

Yes to these.

You find it tiresome to keep in contact with people (except those who you have proper chemistry with and thus it does not require effort with them)

You consider yourself fairly private, hard to get to know, emotionally available for only those you've chosen.

You are much more open online than you would be with acquaintances in real time.

You don't have a large network, and you are fine with that.

You're a contained person, but sometimes you let loose.

Most of these just sound like introversion to me.

You get a buzz out of eye contact and body language; all the subtleties of courtship, and attraction.

You may get on well with someone, but unless there's that 'spark', or proper chemistry, you feel there is something missing, you wont truly open yourself.

This touches on the sx aspect, but I experience it a bit differently. It's less about initial spark than deep, intense connection built over time. I don't pick up on body language or whatever well. I like other intense experience also, like too loud music, ridiculously spicy food, stuff that gets the adrenaline going & is exciting. I like to debate/argue a bit also...the intensity of an exchange of ideas is exciting.

Health (mental, physical, spiritual whatever) has been your biggest concern, but also your biggest weakness.

You find yourself sharing books, articles and advice on mental health, fitness, cooking etc.

You know what you like and dislike fairly quickly.

No to these.... I'm not that into health. I am into being comfortable, physically & emotionally. Although, I can easily forget to eat if I am absorbed in something, becoming detached from my body, unaware of pain, etc, but I just like to know that I have food or medicine (or whatever) available to me.

As for the last one, I need to try stuff to know, sometimes several times. It may be a Ne thing, but I like to remain open & hold off on deciding whether I do or don't like something.

 

[Elfboy]

Not clear on my variants, but one thing I do know, Elfboy: whatever you are, I ain't. I don't relate to your energy at all. Not to be mean or anything, it's just like we're from different planets.

no offense taken. I think you're really a 4 as opposed to 9. if you were 9w8 I think we'd get each other better.

 

[mrcockburn]

I actually relate to all of those things, except for #4. Tampering with a dead body with drugs sprawled around, getting your fingerprints and DNA all over the place? Not a brilliant plan of action...I'd actually GTFO and call 911.

 

[mrcockburn]

Yes, I know some of these will be rather stereotypical and biased but this is all in good humor:


You're always commenting on how comfortable the chairs are.

Someone asks you how the meeting went and you respond by saying "the room was too hot/cold"

You'd rather have a job that promised long term financial security even if you personally didn't enjoy it over one you find personally fulfilling but offered very poor financial security.

You have subscriptions to Health, Prevention, and Money.

You get really peeved when you're forced to deviate from your exercise routine.

You can't understand why people don't care about eating healthy. Okay, you know that some of the junk food does taste good but to you it just isn't worth it.

Oh god. I also relate to ALL of these. I always thought I was just acting like some crotchety old lady, but now I can blame it on being an SP. :grin:

 

[Elfboy]

Oh god. I also relate to ALL of these. I always thought I was just acting like some crotchety old lady, but now I can blame it on being an SP. :grin:

you don't seem like an old lady at all to me. you might think this because, in america at least, lots of successful, higher status activities are frowned upon by men. I have a friend sort of like you (he's an ESFP 3w2) and he uses the best exfoliating creams, has a strict work out regime and uses cover up if he has acne (okay, you probably don't this one). I don't know if this is a problem for you, but he is kind of ashamed of his high maintenance habits even though I think they will eventually make him more successful than most of his friends.

 

[mrcockburn]

you don't seem like an old lady at all to me. you might think this because, in america at least, lots of successful, higher status activities are frowned upon by men. I have a friend sort of like you (he's an ESFP 3w2) and he uses the best exfoliating creams, has a strict work out regime and uses cover up if he has acne (okay, you probably don't this one). I don't know if this is a problem for you, but he is kind of ashamed of his high maintenance habits even though I think they will eventually make him more successful than most of his friends.

Fortunately I've got a pair....of ovaries....so I can get away with this kind of behavior. lol

 

[Kierva]

I carry Vaseline in my bag for fear of <insert whatever skin problems that may arise here>. And I'm a dude.

Edit: How many of you carry a little extra money just in case? Like when you're heading to the grocery store and you want to buy a shaver that costs like $5 and you bring an extra $2? Just in case.

 

[Elfboy]

Fortunately I've got a pair....of ovaries....so I can get away with this kind of behavior. lol

you're female? omg, I thought you were a guy this whole time, my apologies

 

[mrcockburn]

you're female? omg, I thought you were a guy this whole time, my apologies

Common misconception. God knows why!

 

[mrcockburn]

I carry Vaseline in my bag for fear of <insert whatever skin problems that may arise here>. And I'm a dude.

Edit: How many of you carry a little extra money just in case? Like when you're heading to the grocery store and you want to buy a shaver that costs like $5 and you bring an extra $2? Just in case.

You smear Vaseline on your face where you'll be seen in public? Good way to look like a hungry sex predator. All you need to do now is grow a scraggly mountain man beard, lose a few teeth and grin at any teen girls wearing skirts.

 

[Elfboy]

Common misconception. God knows why!

I could think of a number of reasons actually
- you referenced being compared to draco malfoy
- your username is mrcockburn
- your humor is extremely perverted (much more common of men than women)
- I don't know what your actual job is (it's clearly business related) but your speaking style is what I picture a 40 year old man who quit corporate to start their own firm would sound like. extremely assertive and you can definitely hear the corporate background, but more perverted and more entrepreneural "I do what I want bitch!" in the speaking style
- on a more shallow note, ESTPs and 3s are both far more likely to be men

I don't mean any offense by this, the misconception is just easy to make