The SP/SX push pull in relationships?

[INFtha14]

I thought I'd take this a step further in this direction. It's inspired by the push pull SP SX thread.

I'm curious how we could counteract this tendency because I definitely notice a trend in even the idea of relationship. Random person will express interest of which I'll be fine with it then some thoughts creep in making me feel like I should forget the whole thing/idea (Fear/anxiety. My Etype is 6w7).

Do other SP/SXs notice this trend especially E6s perhaps. But SP/SX in general will do. I say especially because it seems to me to be a E6 problem as well but can see how SP/SX definitely play a big part too. I'd be curious if any of you guys have harnessed this push/pull and have come out on the good side of it in terms of romantic relationships.

Thanks in advance . Any input is greatly appreciated . Looking forward to some possibly very interesting discussions.

 

[rowingineden]

I think we can put this into the following categories:
Enneagram Instinctual Variants
Enneagram Type
MBTI Functions

Additonal Factors:
Asperger's traits

So, in my sp/sx push-pull, the following things happen:
7 headfix + strong Ne = A need to seek stimulation, often social
sx instinctual variant + Ne + Fi + 4w5 heartfix + Asperger's = A tendency to fixate on one person and want to know them absolutely, inside and out, on a meaningful (emotional/"spiritual") level
sp + Si + w6 = A tendency to be very protective and wary of being hurt, especially due to past experiences being hurt. I look for red flags, and when there are too many, I bolt.

I was previously sx/so; I think my sp/sx is a reaction to/adaptation resulting from a breakup experience.

 

[Arclight]

Sp/Sx/So

I get accused of push pull all the time and I see it in myself .. I am e6w5 as well.. so the odds are not in my favor.

At the end of the day, I value connection over disconnection. So that is all I have to work off of.

Without you, I am only me.. and it's just not good enough. So I am learning to be responsible or learning the value of being responsible with romantic love.
My thinking is that, If I never lose sight my responsibilities ever again, then I will realize that real self preservation comes from interdependence and connection. I will value it over solitude. Solitude can't hug me and make me breakfast. The only value in solitude is it's consistency. death is also consistent and I will have plenty of time to be dead. So in the name of life..I must learn to reject my Sp tendencies and chose to live.

 

[INFtha14]

I think we can put this into the following categories:
Enneagram Instinctual Variants
Enneagram Type
MBTI Functions

Additonal Factors:
Asperger's traits

So, in my sp/sx push-pull, the following things happen:
7 headfix + strong Ne = A need to seek stimulation, often social
sx instinctual variant + Ne + Fi + 4w5 heartfix + Asperger's = A tendency to fixate on one person and want to know them absolutely, inside and out, on a meaningful (emotional/"spiritual") level
sp + Si + w6 = A tendency to be very protective and wary of being hurt, especially due to past experiences being hurt. I look for red flags, and when there are too many, I bolt.

I was previously sx/so; I think my sp/sx is a reaction to/adaptation resulting from a breakup experience.

Exactly on the red flags thing. I sometimes think maybe I bolt to much.

Sp/Sx/So

I get accused of push pull all the time and I see it in myself .. I am e6w5 as well.. so the odds are not in my favor.

At the end of the day, I value connection over disconnection. So that is all I have to work off of.

Without you, I am only me.. and it's just not good enough. So I am learning to be responsible or learning the value of being responsible with romantic love.
My thinking is that, If I never lose sight my responsibilities ever again, then I will realize that real self preservation comes from interdependence and connection. I will not value it over solitude. Solitude can't hug me and make me breakfast. The only value in solitude is it's consistency. death is also consistent and I will have plenty of time to be dead. So in the name of life..I must learn to reject my Sp tendencies and chose to live.

Right on . I think that's a wonderful statement. Thanks for sharing. I too am at that place where it's like "have plenty time to be dead" and it scared me so I'd like to live instead of let the fears take over. I notice as a SP it's hard to let loose sometimes like let all your colors show like dancing with some ooph/feeling it. I'm learning to let loose alittle my SP wall.