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[sx] Questions for Sx peoples

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are you overly concerned with your desirability?

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?

Atention whoreness?

Are you agressive?

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?

Do you consider yourself as sexy?

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?

Have you some passion for something or someone?

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?

As an Sx/So, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and social instincts?
 
Last edited:

hilo

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
Are you over concerned with your desirability?
I sometimes think about it, especially the fact that women get less desireable after a certain age - that bothers me even though it is far off.

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?
not really, but i can get that way for brief periods - i'd say harmless.

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?
intense music, sky-diving, back-packing across Europe, etc; yes

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?
never

Atention whoreness?
not really

Are you agressive?
Not usually, but in some cases I can be "assertive"

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?
interesting. I am both masculine and feminine. I don't think I go for "androgenous" though

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?
no

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?
no

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?
very

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?
very

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?
i feel that draw, I also fear it

Do you consider yourself as sexy?
sometimes very much, sometimes very not

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?
about average; confusion

Have you some passion for something or someone?
many passions ;)

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?
no idea; haven't studied enough

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?
I think so/sx

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?
maybe when younger, now I'm just me

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?

As an Sx/So, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and social instincts?

They don't really seem to conflict much. In a way, if I can get one or the other I'm happy. Not sure that I understand all this stuff well enough to give you insights yet. I like to 'connect' with one person, but I also like to throw parties where I float around and meet many people and keep them happy. At some point I do get really tired, though, and it's like a switch flips. I think this is the 'I' in INTP kicking in.
 

sonickel77

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2009
Messages
16
MBTI Type
INTP
Are you over concerned with your desirability? Yes. As sx 4 I am always aware that I am not attractive enough.

Are you obsessed with something or somebody? I've had phases of being obsessed with people, movie stars, music.

What kind of intense experiences attract you? Do you actively reach it? Merging with music while dancing in a totally ecstatic experience. Yes I reach it. Not with people though. :(

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous? Sad to say, yes. Emotional status is very important to me.

Atention whoreness? I don't think so, but occasionally others have accused me of it.

Are you agressive? Not typically.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny? These days I am cultivating femininity, because I've always been more masculine. As a woman, that doesn't really work for me in terms of attracting men.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation? For years I thought I was a lesbian or bisexual. Now I'm pretty sure I'm straight.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant? I fear most of all my idealised Other rejecting me. That's what makes me avoidant most of all.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences? Apart from dabbling in S/M threesomes and bisexual experiences at 29, not at all. Currently going through an abstinent phase.

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule? Yes.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody? Yes, if it's the "right" one.

Do you consider yourself as sexy? Sadly, no. :(

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this? I got a lot of compliments for a particularly beautiful and exotic handbag I was wearing. That was cool.

Have you some passion for something or someone? Not right now, and it's making life miserable for me.

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)? Mostly I wonder who stuck a pine cone up the arse of the uptight variants.

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)? n/a

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?I might try to for a while, then give up in hopelessness.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts? The desire for attractiveness clashing with the desire for high quality chocolate.

As an Sx/So, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and social instincts?
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are you over concerned with your desirability?
Not really.

Are you obsessed with something or somebody?
I'm probably always obsessed with something

What kind of intense experiences attract you? Do you actively reach it?
I suppose many different kinds. An intense movie going experience, concert or project at work would be examples.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?
On occasion a tad paranoid but I've never been a particularly jealous person

Attention whoreness?
Not really no.

Are you agressive?
Assertive yes. Aggressive - maybe sometimes I suppose.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?
Huh? :huh:

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?
Never

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?
No, I do not think so. I've been thinking about it lately - if I put up barriers in some respects though.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?
Open enough

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?
I have always enjoyed new experiences. It's one of the reason I have enjoyed traveling all over the world. I also like the familiar however.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?
Strong need for intimacy - but are you ever "one"? Is that even desirable?

Do you consider yourself as sexy?
It's not something I spend time thinking about.

Do you often receive compliments?
Good question. I'm not sure. Maybe sometimes. I probably thank the person or more often downplay it or compliment them back.

Have you some passion for something or someone?
I always have passion. It's a driving force for me.

How do you deal with peoples of the six different variants (including the yours)?
I don't think about it

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?
SO/SP

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?
No. What is all this "sexy" stuff? It's not what SX is about.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?
I don't know. Will have to think about that.
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,729
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Are you over concerned with your desirability?
yes, but at the same time i don't make an effort to be more desirable. i just want to be naturally.

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?
always. there's always a guy i'm obsessed with and i go through periods of loving movies/tv shows/music but i usually burn myself out on them. probably on the guys too.

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?
anything exciting, i want intense relationships with people but rarely get it

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?
yes to both

Atention whoreness?
not really. i want to be the center of one person's attention, but have no interest in seeking it out from the public or even in groups.

Are you agressive?
i'm afraid of acting like it a lot of the time. and i'm mostly passive, but i have agressive moments.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?
no it's not something i think about a lot. i don't spend a lot of time trying to be feminine even though i do idealize the image of being a fragile delicate little damsel in distress type girl. but i'm not a girly girl.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?
no, i've never been attracted to women in that way. and i think if i ever was, i would accept it and not try to suppress it or hide it.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?
i fear it, but i crave it. so i'm always pushing it away but am always upset when it's not there for me.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?
pretty open. i like trying new things, and when sex turns routine and is the same way all the time i get a little concerned.

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?
very, i want to try most things at least once.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?
yes, it's never happened though

Do you consider yourself as sexy?
not really.

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?
i'll have certain phases where i get complimented a lot by strangers. and it's really weird for me. i think about compliments a lot when i get them, not really in a flattered way but trying to understand why they said that/thought that about me.

Have you some passion for something or someone?
there's always someone. i haven't found any one thing i'm really passionate about.

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?
i'm not good enough at identifying it in people.

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?
i had a really hard time guessing my last boyfriend's. i think sp/something?

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?
no lol

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?
i want intense relationships and experiences but i can turn into a homebody easily and want to be calm and relax and not be around anybody for stretches of time.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
well I was kinda thinkin all that offended me but actually they're really good questions..let me see...

Shit..I'm on my phone again..grr its too hard to remember them all!

Um..yeah..see the thing is..I don't really like being asked these questions..I guess I don't really want people to know me as intimately as I want to know them..I've never thought that before so maybe its not even true..hmm..yes I really want to know others...I do..it fascinates me..I would like very much to merge my brain with someone else..to know them inside out..is that ceepy? It kind of is thanks for pointing it out!

All that other desire, being sexy stuff..shit man..idk..I think I'm a sexual person..whatever that means..its not something I consciously focus on..people are complimentary sometimes..I say thanks..its seems like a non issue in my world tho

I have a lot of interests typically..I research the hell out of em..always have..I like to have something to put a lot of energy into..

Um..sx/so I can feel how the so manifests..not even sure if I'm not rather sx/sp it's hard for me to know..I'm 7w6 so I run towards and away from things constantly..mostly just in circles really..makes me dizzy..so what..is that the sx/sp or the 7w6 I have no idea..definetely sx tho...now I'm just rambling..I'll stop.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i identify with attention whorishness (from the s.o.), need to feel desirable, hyperaware of body language/posturing and contests for dominance, paranoid/jealous yes, always seeking. i am wary but i have very strong reactions (indecisive, but i feel the turmoil and reactivity of my e8 "inner child" who can be very abrasive, cold, and demanding). i feel a huge push/pull with intimacy oscillating between pushing further and pulling back (how sx/sp). i don't really cultivate a particularly masculine style, although i do feel quite sexualized based on the clothes i wear. i feel drawn to the endless throngs of people on crosswalks or on campus and i can't avoid the fascination and intrigue and desire i feel at those meat markets, where everyone like peacocks are trying to see and be seen (plummage!), are striving to stake out a claim for their own right, territory, (gossiping like apes!) etc. i like novel expressions, creativity, and slanted offbeat designs, so i think the aesthetic presentation matters much and provides much overall context for my interpretation, attention, and intrigue (i feel that there's often a distinction between n and s types in this regard, or that, more generally, there's a kind of generalized cultural separation even if its far from impermeable). my intense experiences are in communication and a kind of lucid psychedelic awareness/vision. when my understanding is most complete and frenzied and i am consumed by understanding so perfect and complete that i identify with the world as a whole. i also can get a huge high when i feel completely revealed and merged with another, when our individual consciousnesses feel merged into a greater intelligence, expression of being, etc. when we in all our wisdom are both revealing and creating the world at the same time.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Sx means intimacy to me, rather than sex.

Are you over concerned with your desirability? Sometimes but it's not as meaningful as from a partner's view.

Are you obssessed with something or somebody? I can get obsessive with interests. Rarely obsessive about people.

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it? Mind meld. It's there or it's not. Wavelength. As for reaching for it, not at present.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous? No and no. Had relationships with flirty types and found them wanting.

Atention whoreness? Sometimes. It mostly feels like a waste of energy.

Are you agressive? Can be if mood permits. When it comes to work, pretty consistently aggressive or assertive.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny? I don't cultivate anything, just am.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation? Never. Was always hetero even to the point of not being bi-curious.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant? Right now, totally.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences? Depends. There's only so far I'm willing to go.

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule? Younger, quite. Now, risk/return analysis.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody? Too ambiguous a question. Needs clarification.

Do you consider yourself as sexy? Can be. Sexy is an attitude, where there's a time and place for it.

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this? Yes. Some I say thanks to, others are full of it. :tongue:

Have you some passion for something or someone? I currently have passion in my work and interests.

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)? Another question that could be bigger than a breadbox, smaller than a paramecium.

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)? N/A.

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them? No.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts? Crazy push-pull.

As an Sx/So, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual intimacy and social instincts? N/A.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Are you over concerned with your desirability?

yes, sometimes

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?

usually, much to my embarrassment

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?

hmmm...I used to like the feeling of being on stage, I like the way certain music makes me feel, I like the feeling of travel or being in a new place, I like being in love...I also like horror movies...I don't know if this counts, because I'm honestly not the type of person who likes to jump off of cliffs or even who rides roller coasters much.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?

I wouldn't say paranoid. I am capable of jealousy, but I'm not crazy jealous or anything. Then again, if I was in a LTR and my partner cheated on me, then I probably would get crazy jealous.

Atention whoreness?

in a controlled way, yes. I like it in certain mediums but not in my day-to-day life, I'd actually rather be left alone.

Are you agressive?

Only if I get really angry, and that's not often. I'm more frequently just assertive.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?

yes, I would say I've consciously cultivated my feminity

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?

I went through a bi-curious stage in my late teens, but otherwise, no.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?

not really

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?

more than some people

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?

depends. I can be cautious, but I like to try new things.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?

yeah, I suppose so

Do you consider yourself as sexy?

yes

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?

compliments can embarrass me, but I usually accept them with grace

Have you some passion for something or someone?

almost always

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?

I think I understand SO first people the least. I understand SP first people somewhat, but tend to be a little more "open" than they are. I either get along really well with other SX first people, or butt heads with them.

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?

N/A at this time

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?

yeah, especially when I was very young

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?

I think it's why I only seek attention in particular situations or via certain mediums rather than wanting it all of the time. I've always thought being famous would be a nightmare because people wouldn't ever leave you alone.

I also think it's why I can come off as intense (sx) and defensive (sp) by intervals.

It makes me want a really close relationship, but also fear it a little bit.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Are you over concerned with your desirability?

I think I was at one time. Over time, you realize that people are either going to like you or they aren't.

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?

I can get that way if I'm idle with my time. If I stay busy with work and other such things, then it's hard to have time for that. But, with something like entrepreneurial aspirations or a new hobby, yes, it can become a fixation.

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?

Talking about ideas. Listening to people who have vision. Hanging out with someone interesting and just picking each other's brains and laughing as the time innocently passes. It's rare. I'll try to go deeper, but 99% of the time I hit a brick wall at some point. When it happens, it just happens. You run into someone and the conversation is just off-the-charts amazing.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?

Not jealous. Can be paranoid if I'm not getting good "vibes" or signals from the other person (i.e. they are withdrawing, changes in their behavior that lead me to believe something isn't right, etc.)

Atention whoreness?

Not at all. Only thing along those lines is that I hate being cut-off or interrupted when I'm talking about something important (i.e. you asked me a question and I'm answering, or I'm telling you something important about myself or my situation). Like if it's kind of an intense moment or I'm really focused and engaged in my explanation and someone interrupts with something really lame. It's not that I need the attention, it's just that it's downright rude. Other than that, I'm not needy.

Are you agressive?

Not in a physical sense. In dialogue, I can be aggressive (I think *direct* is a much more accurate word) if I'm being overtly challenged, manipulated, coerced, or backed into a corner.

Do you cultivate your masculinity?

I don't really actively *cultivate* it, but I'm aware of areas that I could do better and so I try to be more complete, or well-rounded if a situation may call for it.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?

Never to the point to where I considered a same sex relationship. I was confused in the sense that I couldn't relate to people all that well, like in my teens and early 20's. I was always attracted to women and often them to me, but I had a difficult time connecting with them or approaching them. Someone would tell me that a girl liked me, but I wouldn't know where to take it from there. And so I would wonder, "What's wrong with me?"

Happy to report that things have gotten much better on that front. It's gotten MUCH better with age.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?

I don't fear it at all. I desire it very much (with anyone I meet). It's just been my experience that very few people I come into contact with (1%?) desire the same thing.

Not avoidant, just extremely selective. If I find out that someone who I find attractive is interested in me, I will not get involved unless I have a pretty good idea that our personalities will mesh. Even if she's attractive and is showing interest, I'm not going to commit the large amount of time required to build true intimacy if I'm pretty certain that it wouldn't work. There's a beautiful girl that I know who is interested in me (and me in her), but she has 2 kids and I'm not sure I'm ready to get involved in that right now, so I hold back. I don't lead her on, even though I'm interested. When the conversation starts to "go there", I redirect it to something else. Another girl I know wants to go out, but she's extremely "J" and I just know that I couldn't tolerate that part of her personality. So, even though we've gotten close as friends, I really try to keep tabs on how "intimate" I allow the conversation to be - as to not mislead her.


How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?

I'm open to new things, although I generally like to think things through a little bit before just jumping in. But, the idea of new experiences is good, because I don't like monotony.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?

Not to become one, as we are two unique individuals. But a deep understanding of one another, a deep bond, a deep trust - most definitely. Very rare to find it, however.

Do you consider yourself as sexy?

Hmmm. In some ways yes, in other ways no. And I don't judge my own "sexiness" on my own opinion. I can only go off of feedback from others - and that varies. I get compliments on the physical and people also enjoy my humor and personality (on the surface). The deeper we go, however, the more unique of an individual it takes to *tolerate* me, I suppose. In other words, someone might find my physically attractive and they might like my personality a lot, but the more they get to know me, they find me very complex and overanalytical. So, I just keep it lighthearted and only "go deep" with those that I think can handle it or appreciate it (or who want to see it).

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?

It happens sometimes. Today when I went to lunch at my regular place, two of the girls behind the counter started arguing (playfully) about which one should help me. One said, "I get this one." And the other said, "Why do you get it? You're married!" And then the supervisor said, "In case you didn't know, they're fighting over you." I said, "Well, I kind of like it."

Here's the real scoop though: it sometimes can make me feel uncomfortable to get a compliment and, in this case, for a moment I did. It's mainly an introvert thing, I think. I just really don't like the spotlight to be on me. When this happened, other customers and all the workers were listening to it all. And I don't want to be center stage. It's not my thing. I don't feel "at home" in that position. It feels awkward. But, as I alluded to earlier, it has gotten better with age. You learn what to say, how to make people laugh, etc.

Have you some passion for something or someone?

Yes. Business ventures. Faith.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?

It's a strange combination, I think. Sx has a deep desire to be intimate, to know the depths of someone, what makes them tick, what drives them, to understand them, to have them seek those same things out of me - to have them reach deep down into me and ask the right questions that will draw those things out of me as well. That mutual desire to go deeper. It often (not always) has nothing to do with falling in love either.

Sp, on the other hand, wants to keep strangers out. It *protects* from unwanted invasion of privacy, etc. Like if someone that I am only an acquaintance with says something like, "What's your last name? What part of town do you live in?", it often annoys me. I mean, I can give out the information and be OK with it, but it's like, "Why do you really want to know? Just because you're a nosy person who wants to know what everyone is up to and gossip about people?" If I intuit that you are that type of person or that you're capable of that kind of behavior, I'm not giving up much information to you. I might respond with, "Oh, I live over on the west side of town, how about yourself - where do you live? How long have you lived there?" I'll turn the questioning back on to them. If it's someone that I intuit that I can *go deeper* with, then I'm much more open and they'll have "sx" access. They'll get more information than just "where I live" and "what my name is". They'll get the good stuff - my beliefs, my values, what I'm thinking inside, my dreams, my aspirations, my ideas, what makes me tick, etc. They'll have *access* to all of that, so long as they give some of it back. It has to be mutual.
 

neptunesnet

man-made
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
1,228
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5&4
Instinctual Variant
sx
Are you over concerned with your desirability?
It's not something I think about, in the sense that I consciously analyze what it is & what it means to me. Often, I feel more burdened by all my wants. I want so profoundly and so frequently that it's hard to maintain a stable state of being for any extended period of time. Truth.

Interpreted & answered this question differently than everyone else, but 'sokay

Are you obsessed with something or somebody?
I don't obsess over things. I also don't believe I obsess over people. I am fascinated by people, always. I obsess over ideas and concepts. I obsess over imperfect systems that could be better. I obsess over music definitely.

What kind of intense experience attracts you? Do you actively reach it?
I like when I'm first meeting someone, and we hit it off so well that I want to reach out and touch him. I rarely ever connect with people in a meaningful way when I'm out, so whenever it happens it never feels real. But every time it does it's good. I also like when I've known someone for a while and instead of our connection weakening over time it's gotten stronger. Things I've struggled explaining before came easily, or I don't have to explain them anymore because he knows you so well.

And yeah. I seek both connection and love actively.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?

Not unless I have reason to be. And no, never felt intense jealousy in a relationship. There have been times of insecurity, though, where I've felt some jealousy, but I'm so afraid of turning that mad! crazy! jealous! b*tch! stereotype that I always put down those feelings as soon as they arrive.

Attention whoreness?
No. I spend more time trying to direct attention away from myself than towards myself in general, but I have my moments. My particular brand of attention whorosity is just more selective (and stealthy).

Are you aggressive?

I prefer the word "passionate." ;)

I'm not violent and not usually volatile, but my energy can be so frenetic & nervous at times. It depends on where I am emotionally.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Femininity? Androgyny?
I believe I'm both "masculine" and "feminine." I try to maintain a balance, but I think I probably come off as much more "feminine" than I'd like to admit.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?
Nope nope. Was always sure. Although sometimes I think men got the better end of the deal.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?

Yes and no. I desire to be intimate is so fundamental & innate for me (a real necessity). The only trouble is that in order to experience that I have to open myself up first, and that's challenging for me. I have a lot of walls and they seem impermeable, but they're not. Time, patience, trust, and, most importantly, understanding can open them right up!

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?

Pretty open. I've noticed that I "try new things" just so that I can find a new routine to fall into. It's a weird NeSi thing. I guess!

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?
Yes. I'd like to, but I'm not sure if I can experience the oneness with a non-Sexual type. Which is frustrating and very annoying since two Sexual types together is just :doh:!!!

And trying to explain the "Let's be one!" desire to a non-Sexual type can be berry berry tuff. Guess it depends on who I find (or don't find) in the end.

Do you consider yourself as sexy?

:rofl1: no. I definitely get the "cute" label a lot, which in a way I help perpetuate, but have never gotten "sexy" (non-jokingly).

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?
Sure. I try to be as nonchalant about them as I can possibly be, but I always fail. They're nice to receive (and I want to receive them since if I don't receive verbal affirmation regularly I start to worry about my worth & visibility, much to my own frustration), but I have no clue how to response to them.

Have you some passion for something or someone?

At the moment? No, but it's hard for me. I like being alone, I like being autonomous, but I also like sharing things & it's very hard not having someone there to share things with.

And I have a passion for some "things," yeah.

How do you deal with peoples of the six different variants (including the yours)?
I like Social types, but we never connect on a personal level (as in it's difficult for me to figure out what they enjoy & like talking about). Sx/so types are fun, but I never feel like I'm enough around them. I prefer sx/sp, even in their brooding angst. I also like sp/sx types, but sometimes the distance of the dominant sp variant bothers me. I don't have a lot of experience with sp/so types.

What is(are) the variant(s) of your mate(s)?
The variant of a past "mate" was sp/sx.

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?
What do you mean? Are you asking if I have a role model who inspires my "sexy"? ahh! no!

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?

As an Sx/So, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and social instincts?

My second variant is balanced (between so & sp), so I don't know if my answer means much to you, but if it helps I explained my relationship with those two types somewhere in the questions above.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp


I think I was at one time. Over time, you realize that people are either going to like you or they aren't.



I can get that way if I'm idle with my time. If I stay busy with work and other such things, then it's hard to have time for that. But, with something like entrepreneurial aspirations or a new hobby, yes, it can become a fixation.



Talking about ideas. Listening to people who have vision. Hanging out with someone interesting and just picking each other's brains and laughing as the time innocently passes. It's rare. I'll try to go deeper, but 99% of the time I hit a brick wall at some point. When it happens, it just happens. You run into someone and the conversation is just off-the-charts amazing.



Not jealous. Can be paranoid if I'm not getting good "vibes" or signals from the other person (i.e. they are withdrawing, changes in their behavior that lead me to believe something isn't right, etc.)



Not at all. Only thing along those lines is that I hate being cut-off or interrupted when I'm talking about something important (i.e. you asked me a question and I'm answering, or I'm telling you something important about myself or my situation). Like if it's kind of an intense moment or I'm really focused and engaged in my explanation and someone interrupts with something really lame. It's not that I need the attention, it's just that it's downright rude. Other than that, I'm not needy.



Not in a physical sense. In dialogue, I can be aggressive (I think *direct* is a much more accurate word) if I'm being overtly challenged, manipulated, coerced, or backed into a corner.



I don't really actively *cultivate* it, but I'm aware of areas that I could do better and so I try to be more complete, or well-rounded if a situation may call for it.



Never to the point to where I considered a same sex relationship. I was confused in the sense that I couldn't relate to people all that well, like in my teens and early 20's. I was always attracted to women and often them to me, but I had a difficult time connecting with them or approaching them. Someone would tell me that a girl liked me, but I wouldn't know where to take it from there. And so I would wonder, "What's wrong with me?"

Happy to report that things have gotten much better on that front. It's gotten MUCH better with age.



I don't fear it at all. I desire it very much (with anyone I meet). It's just been my experience that very few people I come into contact with (1%?) desire the same thing.

Not avoidant, just extremely selective. If I find out that someone who I find attractive is interested in me, I will not get involved unless I have a pretty good idea that our personalities will mesh. Even if she's attractive and is showing interest, I'm not going to commit the large amount of time required to build true intimacy if I'm pretty certain that it wouldn't work. There's a beautiful girl that I know who is interested in me (and me in her), but she has 2 kids and I'm not sure I'm ready to get involved in that right now, so I hold back. I don't lead her on, even though I'm interested. When the conversation starts to "go there", I redirect it to something else. Another girl I know wants to go out, but she's extremely "J" and I just know that I couldn't tolerate that part of her personality. So, even though we've gotten close as friends, I really try to keep tabs on how "intimate" I allow the conversation to be - as to not mislead her.




I'm open to new things, although I generally like to think things through a little bit before just jumping in. But, the idea of new experiences is good, because I don't like monotony.



Not to become one, as we are two unique individuals. But a deep understanding of one another, a deep bond, a deep trust - most definitely. Very rare to find it, however.



Hmmm. In some ways yes, in other ways no. And I don't judge my own "sexiness" on my own opinion. I can only go off of feedback from others - and that varies. I get compliments on the physical and people also enjoy my humor and personality (on the surface). The deeper we go, however, the more unique of an individual it takes to *tolerate* me, I suppose. In other words, someone might find my physically attractive and they might like my personality a lot, but the more they get to know me, they find me very complex and overanalytical. So, I just keep it lighthearted and only "go deep" with those that I think can handle it or appreciate it (or who want to see it).



It happens sometimes. Today when I went to lunch at my regular place, two of the girls behind the counter started arguing (playfully) about which one should help me. One said, "I get this one." And the other said, "Why do you get it? You're married!" And then the supervisor said, "In case you didn't know, they're fighting over you." I said, "Well, I kind of like it."

Here's the real scoop though: it sometimes can make me feel uncomfortable to get a compliment and, in this case, for a moment I did. It's mainly an introvert thing, I think. I just really don't like the spotlight to be on me. When this happened, other customers and all the workers were listening to it all. And I don't want to be center stage. It's not my thing. I don't feel "at home" in that position. It feels awkward. But, as I alluded to earlier, it has gotten better with age. You learn what to say, how to make people laugh, etc.



Yes. Business ventures. Faith.



It's a strange combination, I think. Sx has a deep desire to be intimate, to know the depths of someone, what makes them tick, what drives them, to understand them, to have them seek those same things out of me - to have them reach deep down into me and ask the right questions that will draw those things out of me as well. That mutual desire to go deeper. It often (not always) has nothing to do with falling in love either.

Sp, on the other hand, wants to keep strangers out. It *protects* from unwanted invasion of privacy, etc. Like if someone that I am only an acquaintance with says something like, "What's your last name? What part of town do you live in?", it often annoys me. I mean, I can give out the information and be OK with it, but it's like, "Why do you really want to know? Just because you're a nosy person who wants to know what everyone is up to and gossip about people?" If I intuit that you are that type of person or that you're capable of that kind of behavior, I'm not giving up much information to you. I might respond with, "Oh, I live over on the west side of town, how about yourself - where do you live? How long have you lived there?" I'll turn the questioning back on to them. If it's someone that I intuit that I can *go deeper* with, then I'm much more open and they'll have "sx" access. They'll get more information than just "where I live" and "what my name is". They'll get the good stuff - my beliefs, my values, what I'm thinking inside, my dreams, my aspirations, my ideas, what makes me tick, etc. They'll have *access* to all of that, so long as they give some of it back. It has to be mutual.

Wow okay I relate to so much of that. You've totally just helped me realize I'm sx/sp not sx/so.


This thread is really interesting..great responses from everyone. I relate to really most of what is being said..whoa..
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
Are you over concerned with your desirability?


not sure how do you mean, but not to some bigger degree than i notice in other people, definately.

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?

yes. i can be obsessed with people [and things.]
What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?

hm:shock: i am attracted to intense relationships, yes, i actively pursue them.


Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?



yes.
Atention whoreness?

in close relationships, yes.

Are you agressive?

i can be unpatient and aggressive.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?


not really.
Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?

never.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?

in a way i do, like everybody, but not literally.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?

dont know what is this question about: ex.; if i am not attracted to sado mazo i dont feel like being open twds that.


How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?

quite.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?

no, but i tend to cling to close friends.

Do you consider yourself as sexy?

yes.

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?

often. depends, usually, tbh, they are f'in repetitive, it's either "You're so smart" or "you're so pretty", I cant understand why other people arent bored by repetitive compliments, when you know you'll get one <--maybe that's the problem, bc i expect them.
and despite all that i love receving them, just prefer hearing something new. I guess I often feel unseen when I receive compliment that is expected.


Have you some passion for something or someone?

yeah lol
How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?

dont know. i guess i deal worst with sx last. maybe.

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?

hm, mostly sx's... though i have some sp/so for ex. but it usually isnt equally both-sided relationship

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?

hm, dont understand the q.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?
i am not sure. [/QUOTE]
 

hilo

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
INTPness, I was also was quite amazed that I related to 100% of what you were saying until:

Have you some passion for something or someone?


Yes. Business ventures. Faith.

For which I feel "no, and hell no". So, you are not my long-lost twin.

To each their own, of course. But it's interesting how much variation there is even when we put each other into more and more nested boxes.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
INTPness, I was also was quite amazed that I related to 100% of what you were saying until:



For which I feel "no, and hell no". So, you are not my long-lost twin.

To each their own, of course. But it's interesting how much variation there is even when we put each other into more and more nested boxes.

Yeah, we're not going to be identical in our outlook/interests, but there's definitely a lot in common with some of the responses in the thread. We're not identical twins, but I think we're fraternal, you and I. :D
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Do you often receive compliments?
Yesterday after posting the message above, my sister posted on my Facebook page that she was watching an old movie and I look like Richard Gere. Haha. What do you say?
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
here goes

Are you over concerned with your desirability?

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?

No.

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?

Chemistry. Yes. I always get it even at a cost.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?

No.

Atention whoreness?

No.

Are you agressive?

Yes.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?

I don't understand this question.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?

No.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?

Maybe. Yes. No.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?

If it feels right I'm open to it but not everything feels right.


How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?

Very.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?

No.

Do you consider yourself as sexy?

Yes.

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?

Flattered. Bashful.

Have you some passion for something or someone?

It comes and goes.

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?

IDK but me and other sx doms are bad news.


Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?

No.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?

Push and pull. Go and stop. Hurry up and wait.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Do you often receive compliments?
Yesterday after posting the message above, my sister posted on my Facebook page that she was watching an old movie and I look like Richard Gere. Haha. What do you say?

Is that you in your avatar? If so, I concur.
 

Kingfisher

full of love
Joined
May 24, 2009
Messages
1,685
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
I don't really like being asked these questions..I guess I don't really want people to know me as intimately as I want to know them..I've never thought that before so maybe its not even true..

haha ++
that is great, i love it!



Are you over concerned with your desirability?
fuck no, dudesky!

Are you obssessed with something or somebody?
myself ;)

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it?
all kinds!!!! i am an experience junkie, i love to DO IT ALL!!!
i will never get enough of wild and fun experiences.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous?
no

Atention whoreness?
no

Are you agressive?
yeah sometimes

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny?
no

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation?
no

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant?
i used to fear and love it.
now i love it and embrace it like none other!!

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences?
i am somewhat open

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule?
all the way, baby. :cool:

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody?
no, it just happens for me naturally without thinking...... :shrug:

Do you consider yourself as sexy?
yes

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this?
i ignore them mostly.
or i say something like "you know it!!" or that's me baby!"

Have you some passion for something or someone?
yeah, i have lots of passions

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)?
SP/SX

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them?
sure. not really.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts?
they are fighting all the time. they go to war with each other, and beat the shit out of each other.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are you over concerned with your desirability? Nah, it's not that major of a concern. But I would be concerned if I were noticeably undesirable.

Are you obssessed with something or somebody? Yes.

What kind of intense experience attract you? Do you actively reach it? Intense experiences... intense conversations, risky and rewarding ones, it's mostly intensity between two people. And yes I do actively try to get to this intensity.

Are you paranoid in relationships? Jealous? If it's really important, then yes.

Atention whoreness? Ehh depends on the crowd.

Are you agressive? Varies. I've gotten more aggressive over this past year.

Do you cultivate your masculinity? Feminity? Androgigny? Unconsciously I think that I do. I sort of mock the masculine stereotype and then mock it even more by being that way myself.

Are you or were you confused about your sexual orientation? Yes.

Do you fear intimacy? Avoidant? It depends. Apart of me really wants it, another part is kind of afraid.

How much are you opened to new sexual experiences? Very.

How much are you opened to new experiences as a general rule? Very.

Do you aspire to "become one" with something or somebody? Yes.

Do you consider yourself as sexy? lol

Do you often receive compliments? How do you react to this? I'd say I receive comments uncommonly. And I really like getting them.

Have you some passion for something or someone? Yes.

How do you deal with peoples of the six differents variants (including the yours)?

So/sx- Moth to flame. I get scared by the soc first, but at the same time I'm a bit fascinated. I feel ignored for the most part, unimportant to them because they have a zillion social connections. Why am I important out of all of those? I would never feel comfortable being around one for a really close relationship. I've only opened up to two so/sx's, one being a forum member and we were seeking to understand each other, another a cousin who I'm very close to (I know that I'm special in some way).

So/sp- Weird, alien. I honestly don't have any as friends or acquaintances. It seems like the so/sp stereotype represents the kind of people that I despise, thinking back on the so/sp's that I've been aware of I haven't really cared about any of them and were often frustrated by them when I tried to. They really seem to slip past my radar when it comes to people.

Sp/so- Very cool people. Interesting conversations. They seem very calm, chill, balanced, reliable. Good friends, but it would be challenging being in a relationship with one. Never had any issues with them, they seem to be a bit awkward when I push toward the sx intensity.

Sp/sx- Good interaction overall. Good friends, especially when you get them to open up. Reliable, and always seem to have something going on beyond the surface. Pretty awesome when you get close to them.

Sx/sp- I loooove meeting people of my own variant. I feel understood! Everything is awesome. :cheese:

Sx/so- Similar to so/sx, but with less fear. I have an easy time opening up to them, and I seem to be a point of interest to them even if they have a ton of friends.

What is(are) the variant(s) of you mate(s)? friends- sp/sx, sp/so, sx/so, sp/sx, sp/sx, sx/so, sx/sp, sx/sp. It seems to be a pattern of zero soc firsts, and rarely any sx lasts (I only really get acquainted to sp/sos and soc firsts).

exes- an sp/sx and an sx/sp.

Do you identify with some desirable, sexy image and tend to look like them? No.

As an Sx/Sp, how would you explain the relationships between your sexual and self-pres instincts? It's like a push and pull. Sx wants, but then sp rationalizes and says "you don't need that." It's a lose lose either way. If I cave into sx's wants then sp is mad, and vice versa. I have high standards (sp) of what I am attracted to (sx), but when I am attracted to something that's safe it's intense, it's crazy, and I'm overjoyed. I feel like I've avoided a lot of negative relationships with my sp instinct, but at the same time I feel like I'm missing out a bit.
 
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